Me

E-mail: romantical@post.com

******

"I can’t believe you made us late." Xander raised an eyebrow as he glanced quickly at the pile of packages in the back seat. "*I* made us late? How did I manage to do that? Did I feel the need to load the car full of presents for a child that won’t understand what’s going on?"

"Are you saying our child doesn’t deserve presents?" Willow’s gaze was cool as she turned her head. A small smile played at the corner of her mouth as she waited for his answer. "Well?"

"She deserves everything," he admitted, basking in the fact that, in a few short hours, every word Willow had said would be true. She’d be his. "I just don’t understand why we have to take it all to Giles’ then bring it right back home again."

"It’s the principle of the thing, Xander."

"And why are we doing this at Giles’?"

"Neutral ground." She grinned and reached over for his hand. Her thumb traced soft circles on it, caressing the skin between his thumb and finger. "The lawyer insisted."

"He’s already said he’s not coming. Besides, isn’t your parent’s house neutral? I mean, nothing ever happened…" He stopped speaking, the reality of crashing down on him in a wave. "Right. Forgot about that Christmas."

"Xan…"

He shook his head, taking his hand from hers and putting it back on the steering wheel. "Hey, I got a beautiful daughter out of it, I’m not complaining."

"Right." Willow turned her head to look out the window, trying to damp down the tears that stood in her eyes. Oz was still a sore subject between them, but only when it came to the actual conception. Half the time she understood it, even prided Xander on being so accepting about everything involved in Juliana’s birth. Other times she wondered who the hell he thought he was. And still others she wondered if she should just give in and tie him to the bed so that they could actually get the sex out of the way.

She was pretty sure it was all about the sex.

But how could she explain to him that she wanted their first time to be perfect? To be…everything. She wanted to be his wife the first time he made love to her. She wanted everything to be the way it was supposed to be, even though she’d gotten it all backwards.

After all the fuss he’d made, making sure that everything was legal and aboveboard where Oz and Juliana were concerned, she’d hoped that he’d have asked her to marry him long before now. Juliana was almost a year old. They’d been living together, not quite in sin, for almost that long.

And today, he was adopting her daughter.

She had been so sure, when this day came, that she’d be Mrs. Alexander Harris.

But, once again, Xander had managed to let her down.

******

Buffy rushed to the car and headed straight for the backseat, ignoring both Xander and Willow. Swinging the door open, she quickly unfastened the seatbelt that held her niece in and disengaged her from it. Lifting the little girl into her arms, she smiled at her. "Who’s your favorite aunt?"

Juliana regarded Buffy with a serious expression that made Willow laugh. Sometimes, whether she admitted it or not, her daughter was a little too much like Oz. "She’s seen ‘A Bug’s Life’ now Buffy, she’s probably deciding if you rank up there with Flik."

"Aunt Buffy is your favorite, right, honey? Isn’t that right?"

Xander rolled his eyes. "Aunt Buffy is my favorite when it comes to hauling stuff into the house, since she has all the Slayer strength."

"Daddy’s a big crybaby, isn’t he honey?" Buffy reluctantly handed the little girl to Willow and took an armload of packages from Xander. "Don’t learn that habit from him."

"Thank you. Not only does she try and sway her affections from me," Xander grabbed the last of the packages and followed Willow, Buffy and Juliana into the house, "But she insults me. My friends. How I love them."

"We love you too, Xand." Buffy glanced back at him and winked. "We love to insult you and ridicule you and mock you. It gives our lives meaning."

"Oh good. That’s important to me."

Willow stopped walking and glared at both of them. "Would you two *please* stop?" Her green eyes were pleading, despite the annoyance in them. "It’s worse than having children."

"Jeez, Mom." Buffy looked at Xander and barely managed to hide her smile. "You sound just like Giles."

"Yeah. Well, blah." Willow stuck out her tongue at her best friend and stomped off toward the house.

Buffy glanced at Xander as he came up beside her and he shrugged. "Think she’s pissed about not having a ring on her little finger?"

"I don’t think it’s the little finger she wants the ring on." Xander shrugged again. "Sounds like a great reason to get married, don’t you think? Because Willow’s bein’ all pissy?"

"At least we know romance isn’t dead," Buffy started walking again, entering Giles’ house in front of Xander. "Or even undead."

"Romance as vampire. I like that notion." Xander set the packages down as soon as he could, dumping them gently on Giles’ couch. Willow was handing Juliana over to Giles, smiling at him as he asked her how she was doing. "Hey Giles."

"Hello, Xander." Giles looked up from his "grandchild" and smiled at him. "I have everything you asked for ready out back. I was able to procure the use of the garden for today."

Willow smiled. "Great. I know it’s sort of silly to have a little ceremony, but…" She looked at Xander, a soft sadness in her eyes. "I want it to mean something special."

Giles put one arm around her and guided her toward his back door, Juliana safe in his other arm. "Don’t worry, Willow." He glanced back at Xander and gestured with his head. "It will."

******

Xander dashed up the stairs, barely making it to the top before Buffy joined him. "You have everything ready?"

"Yeah. Don’t worry. Giles’ll distract her." Buffy grabbed some items off the bed and turned to face Xander. "You’re sure this is it? You’re absolutely positive? Because if you’re not, don’t do it so that I won’t have to hunt you down and kill you if you break her heart in the future."

"I’ve known it since I was five, Buffy. I just haven’t wanted to admit it, because I knew what admitting it would mean. Juliana gave me no choice. And I don’t want a choice."

Buffy nodded, convinced by Xander’s heartfelt words, not to mention the tears she saw brimming in his eyes. "Good. Because I wasn’t relishing…"

"Buffy?" Xander grabbed her by the shoulders, heedless of the bundles in her hands.

"Yeah?" She was about to say more when he pulled her close to him and kissed her, quickly but thoroughly. When he released her, her blue eyes were wide and shocked.

"Sorry. Had to make sure." He grinned impishly. "It’s gone. 100% gone. No more Buffy lust."

She nodded, mindlessly, her body still struggling to catch up from the kiss. She simply stared after Xander as he dashed down the steps, pulling on a nice jacket as he went. Buffy shook her head and started down after him, indignation finally rising up in her. "Hey!!"

******

Willow leaned against Giles, taking a deep breath. The garden looked very nice. Her parents were there. Xander’s parents were there and sober. Joyce was making punch. The lawyer and someone Willow assumed was Oz’s lawyer were talking quietly in the shade of some apple trees as Xander and Buffy burst through the glass doors.

Straightening, Willow raised her eyebrows. Buffy’s face was flushed and she was carrying a box in her hands. Xander was wearing a nice jacket and walking, very determinedly, toward her. "Giles?"

He looked down into her confused face and smiled. "It’s all right, Willow."

"I’ll buy that. I just don’t know what *it* is."

"You will." He pushed her away from him, toward Xander, then walked off a little ways, giving them some privacy.

Willow stood her ground, her brows furrowing. Something was going on here and she wasn’t sure she was happy about it. If Xander had done anything to ruin this day for her or for Juliana or… Her heart stopped. He was going to change his mind. He wasn’t going to adopt her. This was all sugarcoating for the fact that he was going to walk away from her, leave her for someone else.

Xander looked confused as he noticed the tears well up in Willow’s eyes. He hurried even quicker to her side and held her arms so that she had to look at him. "Wills? Are you okay?"

"Just…just tell me. Tell me who she is and why you’re letting her destroy our family. Tell me." Willow whispered the words, although she wanted to scream them. Wanted to shout at him and rail against the fates that always brought her to this point.

"What are you talking about?"

"This," she hissed. "Something’s going on. You’re leaving me, aren’t you? Leaving us? You’ve found someone else you love more than me…than her and you’re leaving her."

"Willow, you’re being ridiculous. There’s no one I love more than you and Juliana." He pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly in his arms. "No one I could ever love more."

She pulled back, needing to see his eyes. "Then why? Then what’s going on?"

Xander laughed briefly and shook his head. "Well, Miss ‘I get to spoil the surprise’, I was thinking that maybe, before we sign those adoption papers, that you might do me the honor of…" he gestured to Buffy, who was holding up a short veil, "Maybe being my wife."

Willow drew in her breath, shock and happiness flooding her system. Tears she’d barely held in check now spilled over, washing away her meticulously done makeup. "Oh Xander!" Wrapping her arms around his neck, she hugged him as tightly as she could, burying her sobs against his shoulder.

He rocked her softly in his arms, trying not to blush as he felt everyone’s eyes on them. "I don’t want to ruin the moment, Wills, but these natives are getting restless. Do you think you might give me an answer?"

She pulled away and looked at the crowd of family and frien…no, she decided, just family, that surrounded them before looking deeply into her best friend’s eyes. "Have we ever really needed to ask?" She nodded emphatically, "Yes, Alexander Harris. I’ll marry you."

"Good, otherwise paying this guy is going to be a real cheat." Xander led her over to introduce her to the minister. "I didn’t have time or the know-how to throw together a traditional Jewish ceremony, so I thought we could do the short and simple plain one here and then throw a big to-do. I know your parents aren’t exactly the most orthodox, so I asked and, since they were out of town and couldn’t help, they said it was okay with them."

"It’s a perfect thing, Xan." She held his hand tightly, smiling at the minister before turning to look at her daughter. "We’re the perfect family…well, almost. Oh! The papers! They’re going to be wrong!"

"Nope. I notified the lawyers both before I did anything. All the papers will be on the up and up."

"When did you get so smart?"

He kissed the top of her head. "When it started mattering if I was wrong."

******

The justice of the peace stood in front of them and Willow tightened her grip on Xander’s hand. Butterflies floated freely in her stomach, doing something she could only imagine resembled a polka. Xander returned the pressure and she smiled, darting a quick look at Juliana, resting safely in Giles’ arms.

Turning her attention back to the man speaking, she focused on Xander.

"If there is anyone here now, who knows any reason why these two should not be wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

"Hey. Am I late?"

The small group froze, the justice of the peace’s eyes following everyone else’s to the short man who’d just walked into the small garden. "I…"

"Or maybe interrupting." Oz smiled knowingly and walked over to the small group of chairs. "Sorry. Didn’t mean to do that in the slightest."

"So you don’t wish to interrupt the ceremony?" The justice’s gaze stayed on Oz.

"I think," Oz smiled at Willow and Xander before gazing in Juliana’s direction. "I think that I’ve interrupted far too much when it comes to the two of them. I’ll just sit here and stay quiet until this is over."

Looking at both Xander and Willow, the Justice shrugged. Willow bit her lower lip and looked over at Oz, a hint of fear in her green eyes. Xander swallowed hard and squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her that everything was fine.

After all, he’d half expected Oz to show up today. This was the Hellmouth, after all. Nothing ever went as planned.

*******

Oz stood at the table next to Xander and signed the paper in front of him. "Take care of her."

Xander looked over at him, his brown eyes curious. "Juliana?"

"No." Oz shook his head, even though he’d meant that as well. "You know what I mean."

Xander nodded, looking over at Willow who was holding their daughter as she spoke to Buffy and her mother. "Yeah, I do."

"I knew it would come down to this," Oz nodded at Willow as Xander turned back to the paperwork the finalized his legal adoption of Juliana. "I knew it the night Juliana was conceived. I never had any illusions about me and Willow."

"I find that hard to believe."

"That’s only because you didn’t want to see it at the time." Oz held out his hand to Xander and stared his long-time rival in the eyes. "Love ‘em both."

"I will."

"I know, man. Otherwise, I’d have never walked away."