Author: Pete Milan
It never stayed quiet at the Sunnydale Hospital for long.
Michele Strud, the late night duty nurse, thought about this as she dropped a black queen onto a red king on the computer desktop. The clock in the corner of the screen said 3:12 am, and she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Usually, there were at least three victims a night by this time.
Tonight, there would be just one.
The emergency doors were kicked open by a young man with reddish, spiky hair. He carried in his arms a frail-looking young woman, her orange hair contrasting with the blood pouring from her left shoulder. A tourniquet just above the wound had cut down on most of the bleeding, and it looked like a clean wound...probably from a very sharp blade.
"Doctor!" the kid roared. "Now!" Behind him, another young man, this one taller and black-haired, backed into the ER, aiming a crossbow at the outside world.
"Get a gurney over here!" Strud yelled to two orderlies who were already on their way. "What happened?"
"Sword attack," the spiky-haired kid said. "She caught it right here."
"Sword attack?" Strud checked the girl's pulse; it was weak, but steady. Gently, they loaded her onto the stretcher. "Any neck wounds?"
"No," the kid replied. "Her name's Willow. No allergies."
"All right," Strud said. "Get her to trauma room three." The orderlies wheeled away the gurney. "How did this happen?"
"Somebody stuck her with a sword," the black-haired kid said. "That's kinda what's involved in a sword attack."
"I know, but how--"
"Where's Buffy?" the spiky-haired kid replied.
"The last I saw, she was chasing most of our pals back to the cemetery." No sooner had he said it than another figure came barrelling through the doors to the ER. The kid yelped in fear and fired the crossbow. It slammed into the figure, pinning his shoulder to the wall, and for the first time, Michele Strud could see it.
Its face looked like a distortion of humanity, crushed together, almost apelike. It snarled and growled and reached out for the arrow. With shaking hands, the black-haired kid tried to load another quarrel into the crossbow; before he could, the spiky-haired kid had rushed the thing, and stabbed it in the heart with a wooden stake.
Before her horrified eyes, the thing blackened all over and exploded into ash.
For a moment, none of them moved. Then the two kids went for the benches. There were several chairs and benches for patients to wait on, but only the benches were not bolted to the floor. They piled them in front of the doors as best they could.
"Okay," the black-haired kid said, gasping. "Who says a little mind-paralyzing terror doesn't do a body good?"
"How many we got?" the spiky-haired kid asked.
"Looks like three or four..." The black-haired kid was peering out the window. Suddenly, he lurched backwards, just in time to duck a rock. "...and they're a frisky group."
"I'll call Giles," the spiky-haired kid asked. "See what's what."
"Right." As the other kid went in search of a phone, the black-haired kid came up to Strud. "Hi there..." He peered at her name tag. "Michele. How you doin'?"
"I....I..."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"That was...I mean, that thing..."
"It was a vampire."
"But there's no such thing as--"
"Yeah, yeah, myths, fairy tales, yadda yadda yadda. Look, lemme introduce myself. My name's Xander. My buddy there is Oz. And that pile of ash on the floor was a vampire." He watched her trying not to believe it. "I know it's hard to remember, but you must know there's something weird about this town, don't you? You asked Oz about neck wounds."
"Vampires," Michele Strud said, as if trying on the word for size. "Vampires." She nodded. "Okay."
"All right. Now we've got a problem. There's...I'd say four of them out there, just itching to get in here and do the whole slaughter thing. How many people are here tonight?"
"Me...two other nurses on break...those two orderlies, a couple of doctors, Father Budenz. And the patients."
"Father Budenz?"
"He gives last rites."
"Okay. Good. What we need--hey!" Xander saw Oz running back down the hall. "Any word from--"
"Company!" Oz yelled. Behind him, another vampire was charging towards them. Xander raised the crossbow. Oz dropped to the floor and slid forward; Xander fired.
The crossbow bolt caught the fiend in mid-jump. As it exploded, Oz was showered in ash.
"And that's why I say hey man, nice shot!" Xander said, allowing himself a grin.
"So that's three," he said. "One of the patients had a window open. Least he didn't get bit."
"Giles?" Xander asked.
"Nope," Oz replied. "We're on our own for now."
"Well, that's less good that we would like..."
"How's Willow?" Oz asked.
"Uh...let me check," the nurse replied. She headed for trauma room three, her head buzzing.
"I should have been there," Oz muttered.
"It's not your fault," Xander replied. "We just got overwhelmed...you know, like now...okay. We've got about eight people that are mobile, who knows how many patients waiting around to get sucked, and three pissed-off vampires looking to kill us all. What would Buffy do?"
"Kick their asses, say something witty and go home," Oz replied.
"Oh." He thought for a moment. "Think we can pull that off?"
"I'm pretty witty."
"She's getting stitched up," said Nurse Strud, emerging from the trauma room. "The doctor says she should be all right."
"Okay." Xander thought for a moment. "Here's what we're gonna do. Michele... Nurse Michele...I want you to get everyone who's mobile and get them into one room, trauma room three if you can. Especially the priest."
"What do I tell them?"
"Uh..." He turned to Oz. "What does she tell them?"
"The truth. Gang activity. We're waiting on reinforcements."
"But I can't--"
"Michele," Xander interrupted. "If we don't stop these things, everyone in this hospital is gonna be vampire chow. Now we're experienced in this sort of thing--"
"Sort of," Oz added.
"And we've been in situations like this before."
"Sort of."
"We know what we're doing."
There was a pause. Xander looked back at Oz.
"Sort of," he finally added.
******
Beneath the long black coat that seemed to be de rigeur for vampires, he wore a white T-shirt, speckled with blood here and there, which bore the imprint of a playing card; the Ace of Spades. He called himself Ace, a name he'd picked up during the Gulf War, before he'd been vamped. He'd shot down seven planes. Since coming home to Sunnydale and being bitten, he'd killed five times that many. He'd been wandering up and down the coast for a few years, sampling the population. Now, he'd returned to his hometown, only to find that a Slayer had set up shop.
"They're still in there," he said. Behind him, his two cronies, Bloom and Olly, fidgeted nervously.
"Ace, man, I dunno about this," Bloom said. "Those two already took out Bink and Limekiller."
"Bink and Limekiller didn't wait for orders," Ace replied, taking out his sword. It was actually a scimitar, long and curved. He'd taken it from a house in Kuwait after the ground war had ended. He had intended to lop off the Slayer's head with it, but the redhead had gotten in the way. Then everything had gone to hell. The Slayer went berserk, and the two boys had rushed the redhead away.
"We should be going after the Slayer," Olly said.
"Olly, I've got damn near every vampire in this town going after the Slayer," Ace said. "They'll grab her, bring her to me, and I'll have her head. Right now, I want to take care of this...what did you call it?"
"The Scooby Gang."
"Right. Well, Velma in there messed with my program tonight. I owe her. Besides, from what you've told me, these two shouldn't be any problem..."
******
Oz was using a scalpel to sharpen the ends of tongue depressors when Xander emerged from trauma room three.
"Okay. Everybody's..." He looked at what Oz was doing. "Uh...do you think that'll work?"
"Is she awake?" Oz asekd, ignoring Xander's question.
"Not yet. She's stitched, sewn and doped up."
"Let's get this done, then."
Xander looked at him for a moment.
"She's gonna be all right, Oz."
"He sliced her open," Oz growled, turning and glaring at him with blazing eyes. "And I couldn't do anything about it--"
"And neither could I. Listen to me. We're gonna stake these sons of bitches, we're gonna scatter their dust, and we're gonna go home. It's gonna be real cool."
Oz looked and saw the same fury in Xander's eyes that he had in his own.
"I know you're itching to kill these guys, but we've got to be cool. You know? The thing you do all the time anyway."
"...Right." Oz pocketed the mini-stakes.
"All right, Father," said Nurse Strud, leading a perplexed-looking priest towards trauma room three, "we want to thank you for all your help."
"Well...er...you're welcome, I suppose. I've never been asked to bless that before!"
"And we appreciate it. Right in there, please..." She ushered the priest into the trauma room and approached the young men. "That's it, then. Everybody's in place."
"And we're all loaded up with...well, lots of killing stuff."
"Thanks," Oz said. "You'd better get--"
"WILLOW ROSENBERG!"
*********
Ace bellowed his intended victim's name. He stood just outside the hospital doors. "Can you hear me in there, you little darling, you? You shouldn't have gotten in my way, sweetie."
"Did you hear somethin'?" Bloom asked.
"Yeah," Olly replied. "Sounded like a dog growlin'."
"I'm coming for you, honey! You, and--" He looked behind him.
"Xander Harris," Olly prompted.
"Xander Harris! And the werewolf! Oh, yeah, I know all about him! I read up on you clowns! I asked around! Right now, my boys are on the other side of town, taking out the Slayer! But you...I want you for myself. I want the Slayer to know that I killed her friends before she buys it!"
The reponse came in the form of a bottle with a fiery rag stuffed into the top. It landed at Ace's feet, and he found himself covered with burning liquid. Bellowing his hate and pain, he dropped to the ground as Bloom and Olly rushed to put him out.
"RRRRAAARRGGH! INSIDE!" Ace roared. "NOW!" Still smoking, Ace got to his feet and ran to the window. He leapt forward, crashing through it. His two hench- vamps stepped gingerly over the windowframe behind him.
The lobby was empty. Ace sniffed the air, trying to get a scent.
"I can't smell anything," Olly said.
"All I get is..." Bloom trailed off.
"Burning me," Ace snarled. "Right. You two take the left, I'll take the right. Don't screw around with the patients; we'll have plenty of time for them later."
*******
"You see anything?"
"Damn," Oz muttered as he peeked through the swinging doors' wire-frame window. They were in an operating room, waiting for the three creatures to find them. "Only two."
"I don't suppose the guy we lit on fire is out there."
"Just the stooges."
"Not part of the plan," Xander muttered. "We gotta take 'em out quick."
*******
"Bloom?"
"Yah?"
"You ever suck werewolf blood?"
"Yeah, once. Tastes like chicken blood." They both snickered for a moment, then stopped. A sound came from one of the operating rooms.
"C'mon," Olly whispered. They got to the swinging doors. Olly motioned for Bloom to duck. With a sudden, violent movement, he pushed one of the doors open.
A crossbow bolt shot out and buried itself in the far wall. Snarling their triumph, Bloom and Olly rushed into the room. They charged Xander, who stood behind one of the operating tables.
At least, Bloom charged Xander. Olly was jumped from behind by Oz. As the young werewolf held on, Xander tried to hold Bloom at bay.
"Whoa boy! Uh...say there, undead guy, didja--watch it!--didja hear the one about the guy who walks into a bar, and...uh...man, what a time to run out of jokes..."
He reached behind him and hurled an EEG monitor at Olly. It bounced off the thing's head, staggering him. Xander had just enough time to lunge forward and sink a stake into the vampire's chest.
"AAAHHHHHH!" Bloom snagged Oz's shirt collar and pulled him forward. This was the last mistake he would ever make; Oz took his chance and stabbed the vampire in the chest with the stake. He landed on his head, hard.
"OZ!" Xander rushed to his friend's side. "Oz, wake up, man, wake up..."
Oz grunted in pain and opened his eyes.
"Giles?" he asked.
"Uh...no."
"Angel?"
"Uh-uh."
"...Faith?"
"Hey!"
"Willow..."
"Aw, come on, I don't even look like Willow!"
"Go...Willow...one more vampire..." Oz closed his eyes again. Xander took off his sweater and laid Oz's head on top of it. He gave the young man one last look before running out of the OR and heading for Willow.
"Man, if he dies, Willow's gonna kill me," he said as he ran.
******
Ace sniffed the air and found the scent through the muddle of odor surrounding him. Freshly spilled blood, just congealing. Iodine, too. The smell of someone who'd just had stitches.
He smiled and touched the door of trauma room three.
As he did, a crossbow bolt sank into his hand, pinning it to the door. He howled in pain and ripped his hand free, and turned to face Xander.
"You'd shoot a man while his back was turned?" Ace said, pulling the scimitar from the scabbard on his back.
"I don't see any men here," Xander replied.
"Neither do I, kid." They were about ten feet away from one another, Xander hurriedly loading another bolt into the crossbow, Ace toying with the sword.
"Damn, I knew that didn't sound right."
"You're dead, kid. All of you." He swiped at Xander with the sword, knocking the crossbow out of his hand. It skittered across the floor, coming to rest in front of trauma room three. "You got any more fun toys?"
"Uh...yeah. At home. You wanna come see them?" Xander began backing away nervously. "I've got one of those wind-up monkeys with the clapping cymbals. It's fun in an intensely terrifying sort of way. Like this."
"You're babbling," Ace said.
"It beats bleeding." Xander was now backed up against the wall, right next to the fire alarm.
"I'm not gonna kill your little friend," Ace said, and lashed out with the sword. It hacked into the wall not six inches from Xander's head. "Not at first. Not clean."
Xander smiled.
"I'm gonna rip into her and...why are you smiling?"
"Because I've always wanted to do this."
Quickly, he reached out and smashed his fist against the fire alarm. Sirens began to wail, lights began to flash, and the sprinklers began to douse the hallways in water.
And Ace began to scream. He looked at his skin and saw horrific red welts rise as the water fell on him.
"Ever seen a priest bless an entire plumbing system?" Xander asked, and slammed his fist into Ace's jaw, sending the vampire sprawling. "That's pure holy water pouring on you, dumbass. You shoulda just let Buffy stake you." Xander straightened up and brushed himself off. "And so, having disposed of the monster, exit our hero through the front door, stage left--"
"RRRRAAAARRRRGH!" The slimy mess that Ace was becoming wasn't quite dead. It grabbed Xander around the ankles and brought him to the ground. "YYYooou!" it spat. "You little..."
Xander kicked at the thing's midsection, but Ace refused to move. He pulled himself up Xander's body, his white teeth standing out against the red of his skin. "Take you...with me..."
SHUNK! The thing exploded in a cloud of dust and slime. A crossbow bolt dropped on the floor next to Xander. He looked up, trying to understand what had happened.
Standing there at the door of trauma room three, her left arm hanging at her side, her right supporting the crossbow, was Willow, wearing a hospital gown.
"Had to go for the Bugs Bunny line, didn't you," she said.
*********
Much later, a slightly dazed Willow and Oz were sitting side by side in the lobby of the hospital. Willow was dressed again, her arm in a sling, while Oz's head was heavily bandaged.
"I really don't recommend going home tonight," Nurse Strud said, frowning at them.
"It's okay," Oz said. "Werewolves heal quickly."
"Which really has no bearing here," Willow said quickly. "Because Oz certainly isn't a werewolf and is only saying that because he was hit on the head, and I think I need another one of those cookies, please, for my blood sugar, because the sugar all left with the blood, so could I have another one, please?"
"Uh...sure," the nurse said, backing away.
"Did I say something?" Oz said.
"No, sweetie, don't worry about it."
"Okay!" Xander came walking back up the hallway. "Just heard from Giles. Everything's cool. Most of the vamps are either back in the crypt for the night or dust in the wind. Buffy's fine, Faith's fine, and Cordy is...probably at home, fast asleep. Anyway, the G-man's sent a taxi to pick us up."
"I'll wait outside with Oz...whoa!" Willow reeled as she stood up. "Oh, jeepers. ...Did I just say jeepers? I'm really woozy..."
"How woozy?" Xander asked.
"I just feel really unfocused."
"Okay. Try this. I could totally see your butt in that hospital gown."
"...You could?"
"Not bad, by the way."
"Yeah, it is," Oz said.
"Ohhhh...that's so sweet of you to say. I think." She shook her head as she stepped outside. "I think I need another cookie..."
"Well!" Xander said, turning to Nurse Strud. "Thanks for all your help."
"What happens now?" she asked.
"Well...uh, it's probably be best to forget about it."
"I don't think I could ever forget about this."
"You'd be surprised," Xander said, a little sadly. "I gotta go. Have a good night."
He walked out the door, leaving Nurse Michele Strud to sit back behind the duty desk and think. Think about...
She shook her head and moved the mouse. She'd blanked so long that the screensaver had kicked in. At least it had been relatively quiet tonight; some gang activity, but no deaths. Still in a slight daze, she clicked on the deck of cards and dragged the ace of spades into one of the blank spots.