Shoutouts!!~
Donna: Blood gashing outta ur knee~gettin stuff down @ AE with the metal things~that dress needs 2 be shorter lets cut it!~cinammon isnt up to my standards~buttface~dont park ur baby in the street~but the salmon can only say~if i dont get sum action soon i'm gonna pack up my balls n leave!~red shirt long sleeves~your little bathroom~can u c this? *points to butt*~good times good times~i'm brian fellow!~gapful~pantalones gordos~*does hand signals that i'm brushing my teeth*~hufferbelly~and ur back 2 vandalizing my books in american studies!!
Emily: emilah, em'lah, emily, em'ly, em, etc.~6 foot 4~upside down head~bumblebees~loose hair~twisted buns~oops i 4got my lunchbox~"i thought u said u could ski!" *mommys rite behind us*~"he's the only blonde guy on the ski vid with a babyface!" *tom walks by*~Mommy n Tommy~boys would u date this guy?~"wanna ride ur bike?" "no" "you suck!"~Thanx 4 yellin those sns when he was 6 ft behind u!~the little bathroom~jumbo bathroom~jiggly butt~mighty mouse~T-ass in K-ass~AS(s)~Texas Boy~Helicopter~Sumo Wrestling~lol remember the picture? with the face!? lolllll!~bananas are not sex toys~pu-bah-ty~stephanie poo~"tounge" colored prep shirt~wet eal~stealing his toilet seats~planting cameras~TREES!~give up on the beads~Mrs Tom~Greasy, track, easy!~i'm sure he'll think ur madly in love with him. o wait......thats me =|
Steph: Barry Ban Byke~Shane Van Dyke is hott!~Go to bed~Raw egg bisquit factory~I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL CHAIN YOU TO THE WATER HEATER!~powerful women in the media who also happen to be lesbians~dick armey~vagina coast guard~penis navy~Dick Van Dyke "I dont have a stalker!"~SNL AND MAD TV ROCK! heh~waking up and realizing u still have a few hours to eat sheep
Anna: Gleet~Weather mation~birth control
Kelli: J'nnnnno where idis?~Follow the hottie!~Sexy babe and perfect gorgeous~WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?......oh i guess that's ok...heh!
Jordan: *throws peaches in trash* i give up!~*poke*~Go pink! no blue, blue!~stickin skittles to our heads~Whats shakin? BACON!
Katherine: *tries to get out of mugger hold but cant* heh! ur good at that! lolol~*floats with beach ball* wheeeee!~I get to kill Katherine! lol
Holly: I'M A BUNNY!!!!~lol i kno i'm scary
Jana: *phhhhhhhhhft* TAFT!~*phf* George Washington!~lol STUART!~i'm brian fellow~I WANTED PINK TOO!~lol remember watchin the fishie?~those damn lunch ladies
Ngaire: chew marks~jupiter~OH GOD U MADE ME SHARE A STAND WITH HER!~be hyper!~ITS NOT A SWEATER!!!!!!!!
Melodee: lol "you STILL like him?!?!?" heh yep sure do!
Jessie: que banga!~weeman~pillow lava
Shannon: YAY, go Shannon!! lol~what was the duck thing about? jeez!~trumpets lips are soft~heh heh heh lol thanx 4 the ego boosters "i think he likes u" WOO!!!!!!! lol im such a tard
Ben: Doinky dork~panda perv~phruit~moof & bloohiss~MACS SUCK
Tim: Hey!~yea it was good while it lasted~lol Fishwasher~I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO CRAP!!~Jim Breuer is funny!!~ heh bye now
Pradeep: damnit i told you my notes are boring! they'd b more exciting if they had personal stuff in them but they dont so plah!~porno comics lol~that was great when u made kristian think he was gonna lose 25 pts for not doin the letter from the drugs packet!!!~lol american pie kinda lesbians THEY'RE LIKE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE!
Tom: Okay so i'm not good @ coming up with service projects...lol
Adam: Present Progressive is for like...when you're...doing it~dingleberry!~bong in ur butt~wow u talked in spanish!~*phft*~"did u get a 40 on the test?" "yes" "i hate you!" "hate u 2, Adam!"
Evan: lol "Devon.....hmm his last name started with a D......" "Dickel?" "hmm....no it was Devon.........." "DICKEL?" "no........hmm.....oh i remember it was Dickel!"
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
°When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
°When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
°Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
°To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" - you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
°It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Martha cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at the Marine land says, "You can't throw chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them. Man, wise up.
°I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary!
°For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness.
°I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo! I'd have all my money back.
°If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
°As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
°If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
°Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, "Hey, has anybody seen my raisins?" (Because leeches kind of look like big raisins.)
°If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
°If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
°I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."
°I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.
°If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.
°Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?
°Whenever I hear the sparrow chirping, watch the woodpecker chirp, catch a chirping trout, or listen to the sad howl of the chirp rat, I think: Oh boy! I'm going insane again.
°Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
°Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland
on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help!" she could do it.
°If you want to be the most popular peron in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.
°The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?
°The land that had nourished him and had borne him fruit now turned against him
and called him a fruit. Man, I hate land like that.
°It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
°I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.
°I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you
stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.
°If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
°A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
° If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
°Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?
°As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!
°When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.
° If Alien was my friend, I'd like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he'd probably go nuts and start eating everybody. That Alien!
°As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.
°If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.
° If you go to a party, and you want to be the popular one at the party, do this: Wait until no one is looking, then kick a burning log out of the fireplace onto the carpet. Then jump on top of it with your body and yell, "Log o' fire! Log o' fire!" I've never done this, but I think it'd work.
° Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: Straddle a big crack in the earth, and if it opens wider, go, "Whoa! Whoa!" and flail your arms around, as if you're going to fall in.
°If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
°When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, "No speaka English"
°If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
°I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!
°I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun at me, let alone fire it. And you know what I'm doing while they're aiming it at me? I just sort of slip off to the side, and then suddenly run up and kick the gun out of their hands.
°I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?
°It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible world we can't even see. I'm speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.
°Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
° The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
°Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
°Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
°I can still recall old Mr. Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to that old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do.
°Most of the time in the Middle Ages it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."
*~*My Favorite Quotes*~*
You laugh because im diffrent i laugh because you're all the same
milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?
I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, and put on my prayers. Turned off the bed, and hopped into the light, all because you kissed me good night
Roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?
GUYS ARE LIKE ROSES WATCH OUT FOR THE PRICKS
If ur naughty go 2 ur room..
If u wanna be naughty, go 2 mine
God created men first, cause you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
IT's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it
The more I get to know guys, the more I like dogs
guys are like slinkies its always fun to watch them fall down the stairs
A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey!
***everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge***
I'M ThReW W/ GuYz,ThEy AlL tElL LieS,ThEy BrAkE uR <3 n MaKe U CrY,LuViN gUyZ iS sUcH a SiN,hEy ChEcK tHaT gUy WhO jUs WaLkEd In
Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where the heck is my ceiling!
Some times ur mind doesnt want u 2 be in love..but deep down u know you are....
Did u fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down!
what's the difference between boy's soccer and girl's soccer? oh ya girl's make it look better!!
There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep
I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
I'm not a blonde!! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
Wit a X n' a O im out lyke whoa
I smile b-cuz I have no idea what is going on
guys are like a peice of gum, when they loose there flavor, you pop in a new one*~*
the closest thing u will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle
Boyz Are Great, Every Girl Should Own One
You're only bad if you're caught... So that makes me a good girl, RIGHT!?
he broke my heart, so i broke his jaw
~what a shame...looks like the ugly fairy kissed you on both cheeks!~
Mystify people with your intelligence, and if u cant do that, mystify them with your B.S.
**friends dont let friends drink and take home ugly men**
**I ran into my ex the other day.... put in reverse, AND HIT HIM AGAIN!!!**
CLICK YOUR HEELS AND SAY "I NEED A LIFE, I NEED A LIFE"
*....NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS.....*
ThEy SaY kIsSiNg Is Da LaNgUaGe Of LuV.. CaRe 2 InDuLgE iN a LiL cOnVo?-=
Ociffer, I swear to drunk Im not God!!!!!!
There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell- O to a tree, for instance.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way,, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
(Name) is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
NOT THE BRIGHTEST CRAYON IN THE BOX NOW ARE WE ??
DONT LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE
sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think of them
this day was a total waste of make-up
Honk if you love Britney Spears, then drive your car into the nearest tree!
if your happy and you know it .............get out of my house
~IN THE COOKIES OF LIFE, YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE CHOCLATE CHIPS~
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
~*never fight with an ugly person~*~they have nothing to loose!!*~
*A DaY WiThOuT LiGhT iS.. LiKe... WeLL... UmMM.. NiGhT!*
~* BiG GuRLS DoN'T CrY ThEY GeT EvEN*~
couriosity killed the cat but the monkey gets away with murder!
NO OFFICER THERE'S NO BLOOD IN MY ALCOHOL SYSTEM!
Whoever said that money can't buy happyness, anit been shoppin at the right malls~!
Two Words Guys Hate... Don't & Stop Unless you Put Em Together!
ur as deep as a kiddie pool
in some cultures what i do iz considered normal
IF CHEERLEADING WERE ANY EASIER,.,.,.IT WOULD BE CALLED FOOTBALL!!!
I'm cooler than a polar bear's toenails
I WILL NOT CHASE THE BOYS!
I WILL NOT CHASE THE BOYS!
I WILL NOT CHASE THE BOYS!
UNLESS THEY PROVOKE ME!
I look for a man wit a V.C.R... Very Cute Rear
Roses are red violets are blue
sugar is sweet and so are you,
but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head
My door is Always open, so feel free to leave!!
if u dont like the way i drive, get off the sidewalk!
how do I stop crying, when the only person that can make me stop, is the one that made me start?
SMILE! it scares people...
on the other hand, you have different fingers
This is an inside joke and ur on the outside!
Love ; A very strong word. Use with EXTREME caution.
i still miss my ex....but my aims improving
Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
WhY dO tHeY CaLl It A FrEnCh KiSs If ItAlIaNs Do It ThE best
My Boyfriend Kisses muCh BeTTeR then YourS
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Life isn't a garden...so stop being a hoe!!!
*Never give up if u still wanna try*
*Never wipe your tears if u still wanna cry*
*Never settle for the answer if u still wanna know*
*Never say u don't like him if u can't let him go*
i'M nOt SmiLiN At u ! i'M TrYiN nOt 2 LauGh!
normal people worry me
Some people get lost in thought because it's such unfamiliar territory
*~* I OnLy get P-m-S On tHe dAyS ThAt eNd wItH Y*~*!!
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once!
If you Sprinkle when you Tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!
i'M in love with the one man i cant have and i have the one man i cant love.......
Far enough? That's the problem. It hasn't gone far enough.
TGIF~ Thank God Im Female
- lower the lid, ladies present.....a wet behind is most unpleasent!
Monkeys are cute and fuzzy, Boys are cute and lazy!
*SuRgEoN GeNeRaL WaRniNg*
*fLiRtiN WiT Me MaY LeAd 2ExTrEmE iNFaTuAtiOn *
*& iN SoMe CaSeS UnBeLiEvEaBLe pLeAsUrE*
Roll over this junk with ur mouse to check out the AwEsOmE popup messages. lol
Heh i dun have much of a top 5 anymore but here goes!!~
Numero Uno!!
Numero Dos!
Dude i only have 2...this is weird!! i usually have a top 5 but at the moment i'm jonesin over 2 guys, and 2 guys alone. hmph.
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Well, thats pretty much all 4 now!~ I'll try 2 add more later...pry wont have much time tho....yea. Anyway, ...bye!~
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