Our First Scavenger Hunt
This lil excerpt of our story, is brought to you by Smarty & Kickins.
Tara, Trav, Terry, Joey, Brad, Dave, and me (Lori) were all on the same team. I went to school in the morning and Tara went to work. At noon thirtyish we took Trav out for his Birthday Lunch (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRAV!!). After lunch Tara and I went to the big bad Wally World here to purchase a ‘fun’ lil camera. We got one so we could have some pics to tell our story. After purchasing various odds and ends we headed for the truck. This pic is just a test pic to see if we're smart enough to run it.That’s me!! Of course I’m not photogenic what so ever so hence the tongue. Keep in mind, this is our first pic. After the big Wally World stop we headed for Tara’s to pick up all the ‘girl’ stuff we needed to git all ‘dolled’ up. Well as much as we could with what we had. After we got to my house, we started in on the big project. I spent almost two hours putting lil curls in her hair. Man she got a lotta hair even after I cut it the day before. But alas we forgot that we had the new cam to take pics,,,so you don’t get to see. But trust me, she was cute. So I tried my best to look good too. Once we thought that we looked as good as we could, (boy we looked different, ok well sort of different) we loaded the jimmy (tara’s rig) with various items for the evenin’. This was gonna be fun. Now isn't this sad that we're so excited about doing somethin like this?? . We kept callin the boys and telling them to hurry up, Joey arrived on the scene. There we were, sittin on the deck drinkin a few beers. So we headed in to meet Trav and Terry. Armed with paintballs, beer, cameras, and cells, we were on our way. Although we still didn’t remember to take any pics, we were already laughin up a storm. After takin a few shots and different items in Town, we headed for the meetin place. We all piled outta Trav’s truck and Tara’s jimmy. We needed a list. The list we'll put at the end. . It was 8pm and we had been givin two hours to haul ass around and git ‘er dun. One of the easiest items on the list was, TAKE A WELCOME MAT FROM A HOUSE. Trav covered that right quick, he stole the one from the house!! I bout tripped over him goin out the door. I think he still has that mat too. Probly still in the back of his truck. Without even leavin yet, we had one item crossed off our list. Everyone piled into the perspective vehicles and off we were to big ol Wally World, we were gonna win. A few of the items we needed were as follows:
1. Put M&M’s on lay a way. So here is Tara, laughin so hard that she could barely speak. See the big bag of Peanut M&M’s?? That lady thought that we were nuts.
2. Someone needed to ride a bike in the store. That was Joey’s job. Sorry, the pic didn’t turn out, but he chose a sweet lil hot pink bike. Once again, laughter ensued.
3. Flash a goldfish. Off we were to the fishy’s. Trav took that job after some encouragement. Good job Trav!! And thanks for the nipple rubs too!!
4. Ask a stranger for change for a nickel. We tried to git Terry to do that one but I think he was too embarrassed to do that,,,so we sent Joey. There he was, in the middle of Wally World holdin out a nickel askin for change. He got it!! The lady was rollin. I tried to take a pic but I’m kinda an idiot when it comes to this new cam. It didn’t work. I’m sorry once again.
5. Put a WET FLOOR sign on carpeted area. That was easy, we found the sign and carpet within 4 feet of each other. But getting the stupid thing to open up was another deal, but Trav got it. I think we shoulda got extra points for doin that stunt right in front of a Wally World employee.!!
6. Ride a toy. We chose the Garfield one. Fitting since his voice is on my answerin machine telling people that the person they are calling is layin naked in a tub of jello. So I crawled in the lil car and was drivin with Garfield.Once again, the pic is a lil dark. But hey, that’s me!!
One of the items on the list was that a tampon needed to be tied on an antenea of a vehicle. Where in the world were we to find that??!! We tried the machines in the women’s bathroom and they wouldn’t work. Joey just wanted to take one outta a box. Like we needed to get busted for stealing a tampon, so that was a big NO. But alas, we found where the travel stuff was and low and behold there some were. Cost, 50 cents. So out we went and found that Terry and Trav were doin the cart races. Tara tried to get the pic again, didn’t work. Terry bout ate his cart. I really don’t think that I’ve ever seen those two move so fast in my whole life. On to the jimmy to tie the thing on the antenna. Guess who got volunteered!!.
Joey informed me that since he bought them he wasn’t touchin it. We got extra points for him goin through the line and buyin it from a female cashier.
While in Wally World, I grabbed a fake leaf because we needed something green. Got that covered. As we’re drivin from the scene Tara and I yelled as loud as we could out the windows “BOOOOOOOOOOOOMB”. We had to do that too. We are whoopin ass now!! While drivin around various other things needed to be done. Joey took care of that right away. Trav and Terry headed out for the road sign. This is where Brad comes in. But still not sure when Dave joined. He (or they) jumped in with them. So we’re three and three, or three and four. Joey yellin out the windows of the jimmy (like he was askin people for a jar of grey poupon); ‘DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A CONDOM??’, ‘WILL YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME??’, ‘DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY VIAGRA??’ and tryin to get old ladies to flip him off or flash him. Joey wanted cold beer and Tara needed a pit stop. Low and behold there’s M&H, a gas station. COOL WE CAN KNOCK OFF TWO MORE THINGS ON THE LIST!! Stealin all the pennies from a gas station, and walkin into the opposite sex bathroom and askin for directions. Got both of those. On we were to the bars to collect matchbooks, if they didn’t have the logo of the bar the bartender had to sign them. We hit every bar. They did look at us a lil funny though. One gal even signed it BAR BITCH!! In the last bar we decided to get a body part signed and hit on a person of the same sex. I took one for the team, I hit on the bar tender and had her sign my arm. Ya shoulda seen the looks I got there. Hopefully, or I pray, that I’m not classified as a “lez” (or insert yer own word here). On to McDonalds to do the ‘repeat everything the guy says’ and to say ‘supersize my balls’. Joey covered that nicely. Poor McDonalds worker, we had him laughin so hard. Cost; I think two bucks. So there we were, lookin for a cow to autograph. We went by the college to see if the cows were still close to there. Nope, they been moved. On the way there, we found the evergreen that had to be flirted with. So Joey took the honor and flirted with the tree.
I goofed up the pic with not takin out the one before that, so if you look at that sideways you can see Tara comein outta the mens bathroom from earlier. With Tara munchin on her fries we were headed for the interstate to play tag and to think on how to ‘autograph a cow’. My mind kicked into overdrive. “HEY I GOT IT!!,,,we’re goin by the fairgrounds, let’s paintball the cow that they have there, isn’t an autograph just meaning to put yer mark on it??”. It’s a big cow that every year they paint a different breed. Joey armed with the paintball gun and eatin fries, he managed to hit his target. Whoohoo!! I think he blew off a few more rounds anyway. Paintballed a couple signs, then his eyes found the Range Rider Museum’s horse. THAWACK!! Joey had informed us that that guy on that horse was old and been there too long he needed a break. Got that too. We are thinking that we kick ass at this point in time. It’s bout that time to head to the meetin place. We drove by and no one was there yet. So we pulled down the alley and Joey jumped out and marked some territory. Phone calls were made, and we decided to see if we couldn’t get a couple things on the list. In the midst of everything, we had forgot the prank call. I grabbed my phone and called a person that both Tara and I pretty much know, who lives in Helena. “Shoot!! Got the answerin machine”. But low and behold, he called back not even a minute later. But I still pranked him. Did the ol standby of “is yer fridge running?”. He laughed bout it and beat me to the punch line. We needed “stand on a street corner and recite Shakespeare”, and “solicitate yerself on a street corner”. Joey and I pile outta the jimmy, me with cam in hand, and him runnin to the corner. Montana and Main right in front of a huge church. He hikes up his pant leg and props it on the big ol flower pot in front of the church and starts yelling out “OH ROMEO OH ROMEO WHERE ART THOU”,,,then yells “FIVE DOLLARS I’LL MAKE YOU HOLLER”. The people in the cars goin by were just rollin with laughter. So I snapped the pic and we were back to the jimmy. Sorry folks, that one didn’t turn out either. Just gave me the steet lights in the background. Phone rings, it’s Trav, “head over to Angie’s” (the gal that put this thing on, and is a cousin of Tara, Trav, and Joey). Ok, so we’re headed back to the meetin place. Our team kicks ass!! We walked in the house and found that the boys had gotten a cow autographed too. Now this took some thinking on their part. Yup, the thought came even though there was lots of beer involved. There in the middle of the livingroom, was a huge cow sign, which Dave had signed. I’m not sure, but I think he signed it, “hugs and kisses, Dave”. RIGHT ON!! The points were added up and we had won. This was a blast. We hope to do it again. Many other happenins were involved during the escapade, but the story is long enough and will keep yer minds a thinkin of what country folks do for fun. So stay tuned, there might be another story from all of us soon!! Thanks again Angie for settin this up!!
- Go to Wally World and have M&M’s put on layaway-20 pts
- Get an old lady to flip you off-10 pts
- Autograph a cow-30 pts
- French kiss a stranger-30 pts (we all were lookin for a hottie)
- Get kicked in the balls-30 pts (do ya think they'd do it?? HELL NO not one of the guys would)
- Steal all of the pennies from a gas station-20 pts (got every last one)
- Shopping cart races-15 pts
- Ask a cop to hand cuff you-30 pts (do ya think we coulda found a cop??)
- Go to Walmart and ask a random person if you can help them.-10 pts
- Flash a bartender-20 pts
- Get Rita’s autograph-20 pts (the RA for the dorms at the college,,,and boy is she a *bad word*)
- Moon passing cars-10 pts
- Ask a stranger for a condom-15 pts
- Get a girls bra-20 pts
- Ask a stranger for sex-20 pts
- Get the sex-50 pts
- 1Solicitate yourself on the street corner-20 pts
- Ask a stranger for a condom-15 pts (yeah, it’s a repeat
- Ask a stranger to pimp you out-30 pts
- Steal a pair of Shannon’s underwear-50 pts (who she is I haven’t a clue, but i'm not really sure I'd want to do that,,,come on,,that's gross)
- Get an old woman to flash you-20 pts
- Get a stranger to autograph a part of your body-30 pts
- Kiss your partner-5 pts (yer kiddin right?? NO WAY I'm kissin family!!)
- Kiss your partner’s ass-15 pts
Of course there's more,,,did you really think that was all??
- Rent a gay porno-10 pts (HELLO!!?? look where we live!! Small Town Montana)
- Watch it for ten minutes-20 pts (Still,,,HELL NO)
- Ask McDonalds to supersize your balls-25 pts
- Get kicked out of a store-15 pts
- Get served with out shoes or a shirt-20 pts
- Get a cashier to ask, “what are you using that for”-10 pts
- Go through a fast food drive through and repeat everything the worker says-10 pts
- Put a we floor sign in a carpeted area-10 pts
- Tie a tampon to an antenna-10 pts
- Run down a street naked-30 pts (one of the other teams actually did that!! We just couldn't do it)
- Take a bite out of a stranger’s meal at a resteraunt-20 pts
- Suck up a team member’s sick fart-40 pts (let's just say, someone took it for the team)
- Eat six raw eggs-30 pts
- Recite Shakespeare on the street corner-10 pts
- Collect matches from all bars, if the matches have no logo, get the bartender to sign it for you-30 pts
- Put a golf ball through a car window-10 pts
- Find something green-15 pts
- Wedgie someone for ten seconds-10 pts
- Scream bomb near a large building-15 pts
- Ask a stranger to sell you their soul-15 pts
- Walk into the opposite sex bathroom and ask for directions-30 pts
- Hit on a member of the same sex-30 pts
- Ask a stranger if they have change for a nickel-10 pts
- Flirt with an evergreen-20 pts
Nope not done yet, but this should be close
- Go to a strangers house and ask if they ordered a pizza-30 pts
- Flash a goldfish-10 pts
- Find an earth worm and eat it-20 pts (this is not FEAR FACTOR!!)
- Play tag on the nearest interstate-30 pts
- Ride a toy at Walmart-20 pts
- Ride a bike around Walmart-30 pts
- Ass pump a stranger-25 pts (is that like a dog dry humpin yer leg??)
- Ask a stranger for Viagra-10 pts
- Get a stranger to go snipe hunting-50 pts (for those of ya that don't know,,,sorry, we're not tellin)
- Steal a road sign-45 pts
- Steal the “Welcome” rug from a random house-35 pts
- 60. Ask chicken if he’s original or extra crispy-5 pts (that one we weren’t too sure on what the heck it meant, but hey, I bark at dogs,,,not talk to chickens)
- Prank call someone-15 pts