In the not too distant future
Twenty-seventeen, a.t.b.
Lelouch and all his loser friends are caught in a nasty scene
They try to survive the wrath of Lloyd
Just an crazy guy with a high-pitched voice
From Schneizel's warship floating high above
He's torturing his captives in the Colony of Love
(Suzaku: ENDS ACHIEVED WITH THE WRONG METHODS ARE MEANINGLESS!)
[Lloyd and Cecile]
We've got more crappy fanfics
They're really such a bore (Lalala)
He'll have to sit and read them all
And then we'll send him more! (Lalala)
Now remember, he still can't control
When the fanfics begin or end (Lalala)
Unfortunately, his sanity's
In the hands of his loser friends
Loser roll call!
Kallen! ("For Zero!")
Nunnally! ("I'm cute!")
Suzaku! ("SPIN KICK!")
C-Twooooooooooo! ("More pizza...")
If you're still asking how they eat and breathe
And other science facts (Lalala)
Just take our advice from the last intro
"You should really just relax"
For Mystery Geass Theater Three Thousand!
[1...2...3...4...5...6]
[We come upon the Colony of Love in full-on boredom mode. Kallen and CC are sprawled on the floor amid a tornado of Harriet Carter mail-order catalogues, while Nunnally sits around looking bored and put out.]
CC: Ooh, look Kallen! An electric ear-hair trimmer!
Kallen: "Powered by solar energy cells, this ear-hair trimmer can cut through three inches of concrete in fifteen seconds! Guaranteed to strip all hair from your ears or your money back!"
CC: [squeals] As seen on TV!
Kallen: Why are we looking at this again?
CC: Because I know I saw in one of these catalogues a bra that can stop time or a lawn gnome that can attack IRS auditors with kung fu precision.
Kallen: Oh hey, an outdoor poolside shower— "model not included."
CC: Damn.
[Lelouch and Suzaku enter, both with Gameboys in hand.]
Suzaku: No Squirtle! Use Water Gun!
Lelouch: HAHAHA! Your attack is ineffective! Now, Pikachu, ANNIHILATE YOUR PATHETIC FOE WITH WAVES OF LETHAL ELECTRICITY!
[Lelouch's command echoes throughout the Colony, but nothing happens]
Lelouch: [dejectedly] Or just use Thundershock.
Suzaku: Noooo! Squirtle!
Nunnally: What are you two doing?
Lelouch: Oh, I'm just proving my inherent superiority to Suzaku via a rousing game of— [pauses, notices the catalogs] What is all this?
Kallen: Harriet Carter catalogues! Look at all the cool shit they sell! See? [points to one page] It's an adult incontinence diaper with a GPS tracking chip! Your elderly loved one will never be far from help with this bad boy!
Suzaku: Yes, because 70-year-old convalescents are always on the move.
[Flashing lights start blazing on the console.]
Lelouch: Oh crap, we have Mads sign. [pushes the button]
[Schneizel's floating battleship Avalon is decorated in a romantic Greco-Roman style, with the lights dimmed and candles flickering everywhere. Lloyd pops up in an elegant white tuxedo, with a bottle of champagne on the rocks nearby.]
Lloyd: Oh, hello test subjects! My, you're looking like you have loads of discretionary income to blow on useless, trivial items!
[Colony of Love]
CC: Oh my God! A talking fish head that sings all the greatest hits of Huey Lewis!
Lelouch: Yeah, well, you know how it is. What's with the Tom Jones music I hear in the background?
[Avalon]
Lloyd: Oh, that! [knowing, professorial chuckle] You see, because I am a hip young urbanite with my finger on the pulse of youth society, I was listening to the new pop single "Love Potion #9"—
Schneizel: [off-screen] Any song that references 1956 as though it was in the recent past is not new, Lloyd.
Lloyd: On a geological scale, that is quite recent! Anyway, I was struck with a great inspiration!
[Colony of Love]
Nunnally: You're going to let us all go and write us checks to financially compensate us for all the torture you've inflicted?
[Avalon]
Lloyd: Ho ho ho! Such an imagination. No, I was inspired to create my own Love Potion #9! Who knew that the combination of turpentine, Indian ink, and a Gefjun Disturber could create the most potent aphrodisiac known to man?
[Colony of Love]
Suzaku: ...and...it worked?
[Avalon]
Cecile: [off-screen] Warum scheuen Sie weg, meine Liebe?
Schneizel: No. No it didn't.
Lloyd: What do you mean? Cecile has never been more attracted to you!
Schneizel: But now she only speaks German.
Cecile: [slinks on-screen and drapes herself across Schneizel's shoulders] Lassen Sie uns diesen lauten Wissenschaftler verlassen und seien Sie zusammen, mein Prinz!
[Colony of Love]
Lelouch: Well, um, I can see you're busy making giant leaps for mankind in the name of science, so I guess we'd better just leave you—
[Avalon]
Lloyd: Oh ho! Tried to pull a fast one there, didn't you? But I can't let you go without today's experiment, can I?
[Colony of Love]
Lelouch: Actually, yeah, you can.
Kallen: Lelouch, look! A plastic raccoon table decoration that dispenses three different kinds of tropical smoothies from its anus!
Nunnally: We've got enough mad science going on up here.
[Avalon]
Lloyd: Impossible! Today's experiment is the second installment of our last session's gripping romance, "A New World" by Venture 101. I'm sure you all remember it?
[Colony of Love]
Lelouch: Yeah, no matter how hard we try otherwise.
Suzaku: [eyes flash in rage] EUPHIE DOESN'T LIKE BDSM, YOU HEAR ME YOU PIGS!? SHE DOESN'T!
[Avalon]
Lloyd: Yes, well, today's experiment is forthcoming—
Schneizel: [panicky] Lloyd? [Cecile is smothering him in kisses]
Cecile: Ach, sorgt sich, meine Liebe nicht! Ich werde sanft sein!
Lloyd: Oh dear, it looks like the crowbar will be necessary. Anyways, enjoy the experiment, guinea pigs. Toodles!
[Colony of Love]
CC: Lelouch! Look at this dog poop scooper thingy that dispenses lattes!
[The Colony begins shaking madly.]
Lelouch: Oh no, WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN!
[6...5...4...3...2...1]
*our heroes take their seats*
Kallen: Lelouch! Will you buy me that microwave-safe ant farm?
Lelouch: No.
Chapter 2
Kallen: *singing* Second verse, same as the first!
Nunnally: Is it a good sign when the author forgot to turn off the underlining?
Lelouch: Not really, no.
Do you always have to a mess of my room?
CC: The construction of the interstate highway from Lelouch's bed to his dresser was falling behind schedule.
Suzaku: Clearly putting Jimmy Hoffa in charge of the asphalt mixer's union was a bad idea.
said Lelouch with an angry look.
Lelouch: This is my ANGRY FACE!
The room was filled with empty and half eaten pizza boxes.
Kallen: CC has gotten so desperate that now she's resorting to eating the pizza boxes.
Lelouch: Well this is what happens when you max out my credit card on Pizza Hut.
CC: But the P'zone! I have to try the P'zone!
What is with all the pizza boxes?
CC: They're what the pizza comes in.
Suzaku: She's trying to build her own Great Wall of Japan made solely out of greasy cardboard.
The green haired witch had a look that she did not care about what ever he said.
Kallen: That's because she doesn't.
I can be clean I just dont feel like it
Lelouch: Is this CC speaking here or the author?
and you know I have an addiction to pizza.
Nunnally: *singing* Miiiiight as well face it, you're addicted to cheese!
said C.C hugging cheese kun.
Kallen: What the hell is Cheese-kun, anyway? It looks like a yeast infection with a hat.
CC: *offended gasp* Don't you dare talk that way about my Cheese-kun!
Lelouch: It's Pizza Hut's Japanese mascot.
Kallen: ...a yeast infection with a hat?
Suzaku: No, a big glob of cheese.
Nunnally: Let's just end this riff, guys.
How many pizzas do you order in a day? asked Lelouch.
Nunnally: OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAND!
*all stare*
Nunnally: ...sorry.
Four to five boxes a day. said C.C.
Suzaku: So it is nice having a magical metabolism that can digest criminally huge amounts of cheese?
CC: Yes, actually.
What, normal people only have one. said Lelouch
Kallen: Good call, Lelouch, playing the normalcy card against the girl who survived being crushed to pieces by deep sea water pressure.
Lelouch: Not all of my brilliant stratagems turn out so brilliant in the application phase.
Well I you know that I am not normal for god sake you all always call me a witch. said C.C.
Lelouch: It's just a term of endearment, really.
Suzaku: *singing, a cappella* Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you...
Ok then what is up with all the half eaten pizzas? said Lelouch.
Kallen: Like certain species of praying mantises, CC devours her partners as she mates with them.
Lelouch: That's going to make this impending lemon kind of creepy.
There cold, I dont like cold pizza said C.C.
Nunnally: *singing* Eat iiiiiiit! Eat iiiiiiit! If it's gettin' cold, reheat it!
Then just heat them you witch. said Lelouch.
Nunnally: ...that's what I just said.
Suzaku: The author is predicting our riffs!
CC: Unpossible! Defcon One, Defcon One!
You told me to stay in here. said C.C.
Kallen: *singing* Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round!
Since when do you listen to me? said Lelouch.
CC: Since never.
I thought I could listen to you just once you can thank me later. said C.C with a cocky look.
Lelouch: Fanfic You didn't get that memo.
CC: I like to mix it up every now and then.
I will never thank you for anything,
Kallen: *singing* And she'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden...
Nunnally: *singing* And she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding!
Suzaku: *singing* But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be...
Lelouch: *singing* Blame it all on myself, 'cuz she's always a woman to meeeeee...
CC: You're all dicks.
look at the time I got class I deal with you later. said Lelouch.
Lelouch: And this is my menacing face!
Why does that pretty witch have to be a pest.
CC: Did we already include a riff about fools falling in love and stuff?
Kallen: Yeah.
CC: Damn.
Wait, did I think she was pretty the smell from the old pizza is effecting my head.
Suzaku: Pizza doesn't have fumes, Lelouch.
Lelouch: I'll take any excuse I can get.
Just dont think about Lulu I will deal with it later. said Lelouch.
Nunnally: You call yourself Lulu?
Suzaku: I thought that was Shirley's pet-name for you.
CC: Primarily reserved for when she's all alone and that table edge looks mighty inviting.
Kallen: *as Shirley* "Oh yes Lulu oh God yes oh take me Lulu oh yes Lulu Lulu Lulu Lulu Lulu Lulu LULU!"
Suzaku: Yeah, uh, she's still our friend, you can knock that off Kallen.
Kallen: Sorry.
Hours later
Suzaku: Ah, the professionalism.
C.C had actually clean up her mess
CC: See? I can be housetrained.
and celebrate with a new pizza.
Nunnally: The only solution to pizza is more pizza!
Suzaku: It's like chocolate.
CC: Or sex.
Lelouch: I have a feeling all three are going to be intertwined by the end of this.
I hope now he will not nag me now that his room. said C.C.
Nunnally: Because of course, CC cares about what my brother thinks.
Kallen: Well that's good, 'cuz I don't.
Maybe I should stop being a witch. said C.C.
Lelouch: It'd be nice.
Kallen: *singing* Sorry seems to be the hardest word...
But, I love the look on his when I annoy him. said C.C.
CC: And the way he gets all flustered and throws me to the ground and has angry sex with me.
Lelouch: You're reading too many doujin.
I getting bored what should I do cheese kun? said C.C.
Suzaku: Consult the toy!
Nunnally: *singing* I drink alone! Yeeeeeah, with nobody else!
Your right I think I will go see Lelouch. said C.C.
Kallen: Whether he wants to be seen or not.
She hugged the stuff thing good bye,
CC: *offended* Cheese-kun is not merely a "stuff thing."
grab some off Lelouch clothes changed,
Suzaku: *singing* And I can't explain, but it's something about the way you look tonight!
check on nually and left.
Nunnally: Is anyone gonna tell him that my name's not "nually"?
CC: Why ruin a good gag before it's run out of steam?
Back to Lelouch
Kallen: See him play games on his cell phone all through math class! Thrill as he skips his physics class! Feel the excitement as he sleeps through history!
He Lelouch since class is over you want to go out
CC: Oh, so it's that kind of lemon.
to gamble. said Rivals.
CC: ...or not.
Suzaku: *singing* Vivaaaaaa Las Vegas!
No sorry I got other plans said Lelouch.
Lelouch: Oh, no, I'm not really gonna fuck Rivalz, am I?
Suzaku: I hope not. That's not something I've mentally prepared myself to see.
Kallen: "And he keeps calling me Milly..."
What come we have not hang out lately
Lelouch: It has nothing to do with how every character except you has a personality and relevance to the plot, honest.
Nunnally: Even the cat has more mileage.
come on please come. said Rivals.
Kallen: Nooo! Not the Rivalz porn!
No and begging will get you no where why dont you ask Suzaku to go with you if you can get him up.
Lelouch: My deflection skills remain top-notch.
Suzaku: ACK NO NOT AFTER THE ONE WITH ME AND EUPHIE.
CC: Well this took an interesting turn.
said Lelouch pointing to a sleeping Suzaku.
Nunnally: Oh. *sigh of relief*
Lelouch: We're not safe yet.
The two walked over him to try to wake him.
Kallen: And left when they noticed the *snicker* nine-inch bulge in his pants and the word "Euphie" on his lips.
Lelouch: Eh, there could be worse things on his lips.
Suzaku: How come I'M the one who suffers during YOUR freaking lemon?!
Nunnally: Hey, I've been suffering pretty quietly through all them.
Hey want to come with me to fun. said rivals shaking him.
Kallen: *in Ron Burgundy form* Oh, we're goin' to Pleasure Town, baby!
Stop that tickles. said Suzaku in his sleep.
Suzaku: Oh God, Rivalz is about to molest me.
Lelouch: This isn't how the usual CC-and-I lemon starts.
Lelouch and Rivals shoked off that comment.
Kallen: *as Taggert* "We'll shoke 'em off at the pass!"
Lelouch: *as Hedley Lamarr* "'Shoke 'em off at the pass?' I hate that cliché!" *stomps on Kallen's foot*
Kallen: OWWW YOU MOTHERFUCKER WHAT THE HELL—
Lelouch: It's part of the riff.
Kallen: OH GO GET FUCKED BY SUZAKU'S GIANT JAPANESE COCK.
*CC and Nunnally snicker*
He come on wake up damn you. said Rivals. Thats so good . Wait whats wrong.
Suzaku: Holy mother of Christ he really is molesting me.
What is wrong is you talk weird in your sleep. said Lelouch.
Lelouch: Something about "Gino" and "Lelouch" and "Arthur"...
Suzaku: Oh now that was cruel.
Oh sorry what do you want guys. asked Suzaku.
Nunnally: Rivalz wants you, apparently.
CC: "You remind me of Milly...only your breasts aren't the size of watermelons."
I wanted to ask if you come with me to gamble. said Rivals.
Kallen: *singing* And I'm standin' at the crossroads, believe I'm sinkin' down...
Sorry Rivals I am got something else to do. said Suzaku.
Suzaku: Like, um, sleeping.
Lelouch: Or introducing your girlfriend to the wide, wide world of butt-plugs.
Suzaku: HEY!
Damnit will anyone come with me. said Rivals.
Nunnally: The problem when nobody likes you is that they don't want to go gambling with you.
Kallen: Or have anything to do with you, really.
Lelouch, Lelouch where are you? yelled someone.
CC: *singing* Oh where oh where has my Lulu gone, oh where of where could he be...?
Lelouch and quickly turnaround to see a green haired asking for Lelouch.
Suzaku: A green-haired what?
Kallen: CC turned into Ranka from Macross Frontier?
Lelouch: At last! We can use that annoying "Nyan Nyan" song to DESTROY BRITANNIA!
Hell you got to be kidding me. said Lelouch.
Kallen: *singing* You make me wanna slam my head against the wall!
Nunnally: *singing* You make me do the limbo!
Suzaku: *singing* You make me wanna buy a Slurpee at the mall!
Lelouch: *singing* You make me watch The Gong Show!
Who that Lelouch? said Rivals.
Nunnally: Who da man?
Kallen: He not da man.
No one I be right back. said Lelouch walking away.
CC: I like this idea of Lelouch talking in Ebonics.
Lelouch: I be Zero, fool! These Gs be my Order of da Black Knights, fool!
Hey Lelouch . said C.C before Lelouch covered her mouth.
Kallen: Oh, so the lemon's starting here.
Suzaku: In front of everyone! How uncouth.
Why are you here you witch? said Lelouch.
CC: Well, when a man loved a woman hundreds of years ago...
I was bored and wanted to see you. said C.C.
CC: *singing* I hate myself for lovin' you!
Nunnally: *pause* ...do I really have to sing this line?
CC: Yes.
Nunnally: *sigh* *singing* Can't break free from the things that you do!
Kallen: *singing* I wanna walk, but I run back to you!
Suzaku: I'm not singing that line.
CC: Wuss.
You cant just walk around here C.C the army could still being looking for you. said Lelouch.
Lelouch: *singing* In the Army!
CC: *singing* Come be experimented on!
Hey Lelouch you ok? said Rivals.
Lelouch: He's like your little kid brother who always wants to butt into your games.
CC: Well, part of that is your fault since all your games are played with girls and involve them taking off their tops.
DAMMIT said Lelouch seeing Suzaku and Rivals walking towards them.
Kallen: "Social interaction! Code Red! Code Red! We drill for this, people!"
Hello nice to meet you and you are. said Rivals.
CC: *singing* Oh no, not you again!
Lelouch: *singing* Fuckin' up my life!
My name is C.C nice to meet me. said C.C.
CC: Nice to meet me. I like that.
Weird name so how do you know Lelouch? said Rivals
Kallen: *singing* I met her in a club down in old Soho, where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola...C-O-L-A, cola...
CC: Oh now that's just mean.
Lelouch: Once again you impress me with your talent, Q1.
I am his girlfriend. said C.C.
Nunnally: But he told me you were the tooth fairy!
Suzaku: Duuuude! You're dating the tooth fairy?
The word girlfriend shocked everyone especially Lelouch.
Kallen: "He had never promoted her to that from 'languid and lifeless sex toy.'"
CC: I'm about to become one of those anyway, so who cares.
Girlfriend ,when were you going to tell us
Kallen: "...that you're straight!?"
you dating someone Lelouch. said Suzaku.
Lelouch: NEVER!
Suzaku: More importantly, do any of us want to know when you're dating someone?
I did not think it was important to tell you guys. said Lelouch.
Lelouch: Maintaining the illusion of my homosexual persuasion is an important step in preventing the tragic events of Turn 12 from ever repeating themselves.
Well when were you going to tell us when she six months pregnant. said Rivals.
Kallen: Hahaha! Silly Rivalz, you know you can't get pregnant in Hentai Land.
Lelouch: Well, no, he wouldn't know.
Suzaku: Yeah, Rivalz can't even get any in Hentai Land.
Kallen: ...oh yeah, that's true.
Are you mad? said Lelouch.
Suzaku: *singing* You drive me craaaaaaazy, I just can't sleep! I'm so excited, I'm— *stops as he realizes that everyone is staring at him*
Lelouch: ...gay, or something, apparently.
Suzaku: Shut up.
Kallen: *sobbing a la that guy on YouTube* LEAVE LELOUCH ALONE!
Mad, I should beat you up right now. said Suzaku.
CC: "For not being gay!"
So you guys want to go do something. said Rivals.
Nunnally: Rivalz, never one to be deterred, tries to make lemonade from the lemons he was given.
Lelouch: Unfortunately, it has yet to dawn on him that he was given a slab of granite, not lemons.
Sorry we got a date. said Lelouch.
Suzaku: Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
Ok see you later. said Suzaku.
Kallen: I guess Rivalz is going to get lucky.
Back at Lelouch room.
CC: The Lelouch room!
Suzaku: Is it like the holodeck or something?
Nunnally: Let's just say it's a place of fantasy.
Why did you say you are my girl friend? said Lelouch.
Lelouch: 'cuz you're still firmly in the "lifeless sex toy" category.
I thought it would be funny it was. said C.C with a smile.
Nunnally: *singing* The phone rings in the middle of the night, my father yells, "What you gonna do with your life?!"
Kallen: *singing* Oh, daddy dear, you know you're still number one!
CC: *singing* But girls, they wanna have fun! Oh, girls just wanna have fun!
Suzaku: I promised Euphie I'd stab the next person who sang that song. So, I'm sorry to do this to you all...
Lelouch: No, Suzaku, then we'll have to clean the blood out and that takes forever.
Do all you do is cause problems for me? said Lelouch.
CC: Pretty much.
Lelouch then turned to see a sadden C.C.
Kallen: "Crap! He's on to me!"
Whats wrong? said Lelouch.
Nunnally: "The M&Ms melted in my hand, not my mouth! My hand, do you hear me?! THEY PROMISED ME THEY WOULD MELT IN MY MOUTH!"
Suzaku: Uh, I can think of something else that'll be probably melting in CC's mouth pretty soon.
CC: I'd prefer the M&Ms, really.
You are right I am nothing but a problem to everyone. said C.C.
Kallen: "And it's awesome."
Lelouch walk up and sat next to the green haired witch.
Suzaku: *singing* Beware of the man with the candy in his hand...
Nunnally: *singing* His bright-colored pills are poisonous...
You are not always a trouble C.C. said Lelouch.
Lelouch: Sometimes you're a pain in the ass.
Yes I am bad luck to everyone. said C.C.
Suzaku: *singing* When you believe in things that you don't understand—
Nunnally: *singing* Then you suffer!
Lelouch: *singing, mimics Stevie Wonder piano moves* Superstition ain't the way!
Lelouch could not help but stare at her.
Kallen: *singing* Sweet things from Boston, so young and willing...
She look so cute with her worried face.
Kallen: Worried about what?
CC: Worried about what weird sexual fetishes the author is going to impose on me.
Nunnally: Well that is pretty worrisome.
Lelouch move his face closer to her hoping to touch her rose lip with his.
Suzaku: Her what?
CC: Lelouch! How impudent of you.
But soon stop thinking this is wrong.
Kallen: Those pesky readers, with their morals and standards.
Are you stopping already? said C.C.
Lelouch: The author just said I stopped thinking this was wrong.
CC: So your willpower lasted, what, like three seconds?
That was it Lelouch mounted her on the bed
Suzaku: *singing* I'm baaaaaaaaaack! I'm baaaaaaaack in the saddle again!
and push his lips against hers.
Kallen: *singing* Sexual heeeealing...
Suzaku: We used that one last time.
Kallen: Oh, right.
He felt so go for take the chance to kiss the green haired beauty.
Nunnally: I feel sorry for Sayoko.
Lelouch: Why Sayoko?
Nunnally: She has to wash the sheets when you're done.
CC: Yeah, you have any idea how hard it is to get crotch juice stands out of blankets.
Lelouch: Well it's your crotch juice.
Their tongues were in a wild dance of passion
Kallen: *singing* Dancing queeeeeeen! Young and sweeeeeeet, only seventeeeeeeeen!
but soon had to stop to take a breath.
Nunnally: *singing* Is here anyone out there 'cuz it's gettin' harder and harder to breathe...
Suzaku: Is this gonna be another string of song riffs that I don't know?
Nunnally: Probably.
I bet you never had a kiss like that. said C.C.
Lelouch: You didn't see how all those dates in Turn 12 ended, did you?
Suzaku: Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
I not one like from my mom. said Lelouch.
*all do a spit-take*
Suzaku: What?!
Lelouch: Gonna go ask dad to rewrite my memories again...hurgh...
So is as far as we are going Lelouch? said C.C.
Lelouch: Don't I fuckin' wish.
What do you think? said Lelouch. C.C knew this would not stop she could see the hunger in his eyes for more.
Suzaku: *singing* This gun's for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark...
C.C lay on the and said. Take me now Lelouch.
Lelouch: Take you where?
CC: To Pleasure Town!
Ok you beautiful witch. said Lelouch.
Nunnally: "As long as you put on this hat..."
Kallen: I know we already used this one, but *singing* you can leeeeeeeeave your hat on!
Lelouch and C.C kissed each other like crazy.
Suzaku: Now can I sing the chorus to "Crazy"?
Lelouch: No.
C.C quickly got off his shirt to revel his muscles.
CC: *disappointed* ...oh.
Nunnally: Brother's lack of physical stamina comes up at the most embarrassing of times.
Lelouch quickly got her out of his old clothes.
Lelouch: I mean, what the hell, they're mine anyway.
She was wear her usual white leotard
Suzaku: Suddenly I'm thinking of that aerobics instructor from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Kallen: Is that a good thing?
Suzaku: My mind's eye just went colorblind.
which was soon on the floor with the rest of there clothes.
Kallen: *singing* She works haaaaaaaard for the money!...
CC: Whoa hey what?
Lelouch guided her nipple into his mouth and played with her other.
Kallen: The intimacy was ruined when Lelouch refused to give it back.
C.C was blushing and moan in pleasure like crazy.
Suzaku: Come on, "Crazy" is by Britney Spears of all people. All her tracks have a softcore porn background. It's perfect.
Lelouch: My answer is still no.
This is the first time I seen you blush. said Lelouch.
Lelouch: I thought in lemon parlance, blushing meant you're innocent and sweet and that makes your act of woo a sacred and holy event.
Nunnally: This is anything but sacred and holy.
Shut up you basturd. said C.C.
*all laugh*
Nunnally: You tell him, CC.
Suzaku: Bas-turd...so, like, what, a bass took a dump?
Lelouch: I suppose that counts as an insult.
Lelouch continued to lick it until it was stiff then switch breasts.
Nunnally: Switch! Left! Left! Left, right, left!
C.C back was arching.
Kallen: I'm trying to think of a Golden Arches joke here...
Lelouch: Don't, there are other Golden things here that could be much, much worse.
Can you take care of this for me? said Lelouch pointing to his bulge in his pants.
*all snicker*
CC: You have a way with words, Lelouch.
Kallen: *singing* That's not her styyyyyyyyyyle, I can tell you, that ain't my woman!
Sure it is at least that I can do. said C.C.
Suzaku: Well, um, maybe it is her style.
Kallen: Hrm. I don't know any good songs about oral sex.
She tore off is pants and boxers to release his bulge.
Suzaku: But he described mine as nine inches.
Lelouch: Yeah, a "giant Japanese cock."
*all snicker*
Suzaku: Dammit.
Now both were totally naked.
Kallen: *singing* Everybody loves you now...
Nunnally: Are you a Billy Joel fan or what? Jeez.
C.C lick the base of the shaft all the way to his head.
Suzaku: *singing* Who's the black private dick—
Kallen: *singing* Who's a sex machine to all the chicks?
Suzaku, Kallen, and CC: Shaft!
Lelouch: You're damn right.
Nunnally: We already did a Shaft riff, guys.
Lelouch just moan which fueled C.C to take more actions.
Kallen: *trying to imitate Walter Cronkite* CC continued to take actions on Lelouch's penis today, fueling speculation that this will cause rising tensions in the region...
She took his cock into her mouth.
Suzaku: *singing* The devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a cock to suck...
Lelouch let out a large moan with that she knew he was going to like this.
CC: Well it happens in every lemon, anyway.
She began to lick and suck on the head of cock.
Kallen: An AC/DC song would be too easy, wouldn't it?
Suzaku: This, drugs, and rock and roll are all they ever sing about.
After a while Lelouch reach his limit and send his hot seed in the witch mouth.
Lelouch: Cheese-kun takes on a terrible new form.
CC: Oh shut up! *hits Lelouch in the arm* Don't ruin Cheese-kun for me!
C.C had swallowed his seed fast and look like she wanted more.
Kallen: *singing* And it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind...
Nunnally: Kallen, can you stop singing about my brother's penis?
Kallen: Um, sure, sorry.
Nunnally: Thanks.
Lelouch please take me I need it. said C.C.
CC: *singing* R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me!
Suzaku: *singing* R-E-S-P-E-C-T, can't get any when I'm swallowing your seed!
*Lelouch snickers*
Ok my witch. said Lelouch.
Kallen: Oh Lelouch, you really know what a woman wants to hear.
Lelouch it in fast and harder.
Suzaku: This would be far more satisfying if you were freaking out in horror and embarrassment, Lelouch.
Lelouch: After that lemon where I was fucking Nunnally, this is nothing.
CC: Good to see I'm not quite as good a lay as your sister.
Lelouch: Oh hey what the hell—
Suzaku: Ooh, nice one.
Uh not so rough you bastard. said C.C crying in pain.
Kallen: "I play by my rules now!"
After that he start to thrust for gentle till she got use to it.
Nunnally: Not another uncomfortable description about length...
Soon after he start to thrust harder and fast.
Kallen: *starts whistling the Fox Sports Monday Night Football theme*
Lelouch: Just you wait until we get a lemon with you in it.
Lelouch harder dont stop.
Suzaku: Animatronic sex is really weird.
that is all C.C said during the next couple of minutes till both had reach there orgasm screaming each others name.
Lelouch: LOUISE!
CC: HARRY!
Suzaku: Argh! Why those names?!
Lelouch: It's a riff, man, get used to it.
So how was that? asked Lelouch.
Kallen: *singing* Wipe that golden tear from your mother dear, and raise what's left of the flag for me!
Good but not good enough you need to get better. said C.C.
Lelouch: Ah, CC, the master of pillow talk.
You are such a witch. said Lelouch.
Suzaku: For a boy genius, you sure have a limited repertoire of insults, Lelouch.
Lelouch: Oh, go fuck yourself with your giant Japanese cock.
*the girls snicker*
Of course I am C.C after all. said C.C.
Nunnally: "And I have no sense of tact whatsoever."
I love you Lelouch. said C.C.
Lelouch: That's nice.
I love you to said Lelouch.
Suzaku: Dot dot dot...?
Lelouch: You couldn't even have the water drop sound effect that obscures her name?
Hours later
Kallen: Another Pulitzer-worthy transition!
C.C face seem to be glued to the computer.
Lelouch: But I thought you swallowed.
Suzaku: Wait, what do you... *turns green*
CC: Yeah, that image won't haunt me for years to come. Thanks.
What are you looking at? said Lelouch.
Kallen: You know there's only one song we can sing here.
Lelouch: Yeah, yeah, let's get it over with.
Kallen: *singing* The Internet is for porn!
Lelouch: *singing* The Internet is for porn!
CC: *singing* Grab your dick and double-click—
Suzaku: *singing* For porn, porn, PORN!
There something happening to your sister I am reading it. said C.C.
Nunnally: Uh oh.
Lelouch: This better not be that sister.
What let me see. said Lelouch.
Suzaku: This is where the incest doujin starts, isn't it?
Euphiemia knight scandal. said Lelouch.
Suzaku: ...ooooooh shit.
CC: Oh no! Converging plotlines! You know what that means!
Lelouch: ...a gangbang?
CC: I was thinking melodrama, but that sounds even worse, actually.
Please comment next chapter might take awhile
Kallen: "I keep having to stop and clean the keyboard."
and reason there was a series of periods were lelouch said he loves cc that would be her real name.
Lelouch: Your real name is a serious of periods?
CC: Very funny, jackass.
Nunnally: So it's over now?
Suzaku: Yeah, let's go.
*all get up and leave*
[Colony of Love - Our heroes, minus Lelouch, are all gathered around an ATM. CC eagerly presses the buttons and shakes with anticipation.]
CC: Is it...is it... [a number flashes on the screen] YES! It's overdrawn!
Suzaku: Oh, seriously?! That's no fair!
Kallen: That account had, like, four dollars in it to begin with.
[Lelouch walks in and blinks at everyone else.]
Lelouch: Dare I ask?
Nunnally: We're entering random account numbers into this thing and withdrawing random amounts of money from whatever account we come up with, and then we bet on whether or not the account will be overdrawn.
Suzaku: It's gambling with other people's money!
Kallen: Sort of like the stock market.
CC: Besides, we kind of felt a little bad that Rivalz never did get to go gambling, so we're doing it vicariously.
Nunnally: He's with us in spirit.
Lelouch: Uh, but...what if we don't want him here in spirit?
[all pause]
CC: Shit, we didn't think of that.
[The Mads light flashes, and Lelouch resignedly presses it.]
[The Avalon's sensual romantic draperies are gone, replaced with beer bottles and empty cartons of Easy Mac all over the floor. Schneizel is slumped in the captain's chair, face looking like it has the consistency of sandpaper, looking mighty depressed. Lloyd pops up, cheerful as ever.]
Lloyd: Greetings, colonists! I trust today's experiment was a smash hit?
[Colony of Love]
CC: Yeah, the lack of weird fetishes was greatly appreciated.
Lelouch: Why does Schneizel look like shit?
[Avalon]
Schneizel: Stay single, kid. I'm warning you.
Lloyd: Oh, well, I'm afraid my Gefjun Perfume has taken a rather tragic turn—
Cecile: [off-screen] Sie faul schnorrt! Ich habe erzählt, dass Sie den Toilettensitz hinstellen!
Lloyd: Sadly, the aphrodisiac simulates all aspects of a relationship, including the part where you have grown tired of your mate and yell at them all the time.
Cecile: [off-screen] Die Milch geht in den Kühlschrank! Warum haben Sie die Milch verlassen, die aus sitzt!?
Schneizel: Lloyd is working on an antidote, and if he doesn't get it done within the next fifteen minutes, I'm feeding him to Cecile.
Lloyd: Eep! Yes, Your Highness! [Lloyd scuttles off-screen]
[Colony of Love]
Lelouch: So I guess I should take this as a no on the holy matrimonial bliss, huh.
[Avalon]
Schneizel: If I wasn't dignified and perfect, I'd tell you to do something anatomically impossible to yourself with a certain oversized appendage of a particular ethnicity belonging to one Private Kururugi.
[Colony of Love]
[CC, Kallen, and Nunnally start snickering]
Suzaku: Cut that out!
[Avalon]
[Schneizel's tireless aide Kanon Maldini approaches the captain's chair and whispers in his ear.]
Schneizel: What? Overdrawn? By $15,000? How? That's impossible! Nobody has access to my checking account...
[Colony of Love]
[Nunnally nervously wheels herself out of camera range]
Kallen: Wow, what a coinky-dink.
[Avalon]
Schneizel: [eye twitches] One goddamn thing after another...well, you guys will get a new experiment after—
Cecile: [off-screen] Ich habe erzählt, dass Sie aufhören, Ihre Schuhe im Gang Sie fauler Schnorrer zu verlassen!
Schneizel: [sigh] ...after he finishes the antidote for Ms Crumey's Angry Hell-Beast serum. [He stalks off-screen with Kanon, grumbling about "those damn PayPal scams," and the screen goes dark.]
[Colony of Love]
Lelouch: So, uh, you guys managed to overdraw Schneizel's account by $15,000?
Kallen: Yeah, the password "2prinz4eva" is not as inconspicuous as you'd think.
Lelouch: [evil look of genius on his face] So...what other accounts could you sap...?
"A New World" was originally written by Venture 101, found on Fanfiction.net. I still don't want it.
Code Geass - Lelouch of the Rebellion is the property of Sunrise, Inc and Bandai Entertainment. And neither would probably be too thrilled at this, um, reimagining of one of their most famous properties.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and related characters and situations are trademark of and (c) Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Also, Crow is different.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for non-commercial parody, review, and commentary purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by others is intended or should be inferred.
No personal insults to author(s), character(s), or situation(s) are or should be implied. All characters in this work are fictional , and any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Besides, it would be pretty scary.
Incident mentions of various situations and song lyrics should not be taken as challenges to any legal copyrights and trademarks.
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come on please come. said Rivals.