So You Want to be My Girlfriend....

So You Want to Be My Girlfriend....

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I'm sure that's what all the girls out there are thinking.... Yeah right. The chances of that goin on are about the same as Dude, Where's My Car or Lake Placid winning "Best Picture" at the Oscars. Anyhow, maybe there are one or two of you out there who might have that in your head. Hey, a guy can dream right?

In the hypothetical situation that this is the case, maybe you're wondering if you could cut it. Ya know, I'm wondering the same thing. I came up with this list to deal with that very possibility. Check it out and see if you stack up.

The List (In no particular order):

- You are female
It seems obvious to most, but its always good to make certain of stuff.
- You are into music
A girl must be into all types of music and have some knowledge of the subject. You must be willing to tolerate classical and jazz music, as well as all modern pop/rock. In other words, you should be comfortable and not bored going to see the Chicago Symphony Orchestra or Rob Parton's Jazztech Big Band or a Rock Concert (DMB or Fuel or For All the Drifters or MB20 or anyone else). Playing an instrument would be beneficial, though not a necessity.
- You must be intelligent
So some guys are into the kind of girl who doesn't question anything or just follows him blindly. Not for me. I need a girl with opinions on things. Someone who can carry on a conversation about numerous topics. Someone who really knows what they want out of things. However, I don't want the girl who is totally showy with her knowledge. Like if I say "the Spanish Armada took place in 1587," just politely correct me. I don't want to hear, "You idiot. Everyone knows the Spanish Armada took place in 1588. Didn't you read about it in High School. Why am I going out with you??!!?!?" That really just makes me not like you very much. Also, I will never forget the Spanish Armada was 1588 because of the scene in Billy Madison where Adam Sandler is studying for his competition and Bridgette Wilson (now Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) is questioning him with the bonus of removing articles of clothing. When he finally gets the date of the Spanish Armada correct, Chris Farley removes his shirt.
- You can't be fault-finding
Sure, I have faults just like everyone else. Constructive criticism is always good, but I don't need another parent on my back bugging me about all the stuff I do wrong. If I'm getting on your nerves or hurting your feelings, that's one thing, but constantly ripping on my sleeping habits or that I drive too fast or something is not a quality I'm currently looking for.
- You understand you are wrong sometimes
I'm all about supporting a girls opinions and stuff, but sometimes you need to be able to admit that you are wrong. Like when you are telling me directions to somewhere and I tell you those are wrong and you look it over, you can't be like "Oh the map must be wrong" or "The car's compass must be misaligned" or "Lake Michigan seriously used to be west of the city." Come on. Admit you were wrong and lets just get where we need to go.
- We have to get along as friends
In importance, this should probably be right under "You are female." If we can't get along as friends, how can you expect a relationship with me? Also, if we break up, I want to still be friends. I'm not the kind of person who just stops talking to someone when we stop going out. Unless you cheat on me. Then I won't like you very much. Otherwise, friends first, then if there's a romance creeping in, we'll take it from there. I don't really believe in love at first sight. With the girls I've really liked or dated, I had known them for a while before I "like-liked" them (to quote middle school vocab).
- You can't be much more shy than me
If you are, we probably won't meet. Once I get comfortable with someone I totally open up and stuff and am way more outgoing, but it helps if the girl isn't really shy.
- No "slutty" clothing on a regular basis
I really don't care what you look like too much, but I care about the image you are trying to project to others. I can't stand when girls think they need to show tons of skin to get a guy or to be noticed. Not to say I didn't enjoy the backless shirt Katie Holmes wore on the season premiere of Dawson's Creek, but that is totally a once in a while thing. Like maybe at a party or something, I don't really know, but you can't be wearing that stuff nonstop with me. None of that tube top, ultra short skirt, 5 inch heel stuff with me.
- No Smokers.
Notice the period after that. It's pretty emphatic. I don't want to be kissing an ashtray or have my clothes and car smell like Denny's. An occasional cigar may be okay, but dependency on tobacco is definitely a red flag in my mind.
- You should be flirty
I think this just makes relationships fun. Being able to flirt with someone on a regular basis rules. This also relates to the next point...
- Understand I will have other female friends
Feel free to get mad if I'm going crazy flirting with them and you feel really threatened, but it can't be a problem for me to be hanging out with a female friend of mine. You really have no reason to be threatened. If we are going out then I'm totally committed to that relationship, but will still continue to hang out with female friends of mine. Some of my very best friends are girls, and when we have relationship problems, those are the people I'll probably be going to, so you may want to befriend them yourself....
- You can't be a better poker player than me
Oh wait... That won't happen.
- There has to be a lot of trust between us
Once that is broken, it'll be hard to make it back. I'll be open with you and you should be the same way to me. Respect should be the same way in every aspect. Respecting each other's likes and dislikes, opinions, space, choices, friends, families etc...
- You should be able to have fun doing active outdoor stuff
I'm into skiing and volleyball and other outdoor stuff, so I'd rather not have someone who is totally bothered by spending time outdoors. You don't have to like what I like doing, but it would be neat if you participated with me sometimes. I'm not gonna be the guy who's all into football hardcore or anything, but I do like to watch the occasional sporting event just to pass the time and stuff. If I do turn into "the guy who's all into football hardcore," -- just hit me. I'll come around.
- You should be comfortable in all kinds of clothes
I like to do a lot of stuff I think, so it would be neat if you were all into dressing up for a night at the symphony or wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt for curling up and watching a DVD.
- You should be into movies
I love movies. Every kind of movie pretty much besides westerns. I'm sick of sitting in my room watching romantic comedies by myself. So if we start going out, and im still watching romantic comedies by myself, what's the point.
- ULTIMATE!! yeah.
- You must LOVE to travel
I need to see the world. So do you. I can't be held back by someone who thinks a 3 week trip to Europe is an inconvience in their life (unless there are extenuating circumstances, of course). I plan on traveling as much as I can, as soon as I can. All types too, from adventure stuff like skiing in the Alps and treking to ruins in South America, to chillin on the beaches in the Carribean and Hawaii, to learning about culture in Asia and Africa.
- You should need to have kids
I'm not saying like tomorrow, but I would like a big family. I'm totally into kids. Just ask anyone who chilled with me the first day of our Europe trip. I used my whole first roll of film taking pics of cute kids at the airport, and one little dog poking his head out of a carry on bag. I'm shooting for anywhere from 3-6 kids. Big families are fun.

So you've read all that and you're probably thinking one of the following:

- "Wow! You just described me perfectly!"
- "Who is this fool, and why does he keep quoting movies?"
- "I am a better poker player than you."
- "Lake Michigan is west of the city, isn't it?"
- "I'm a guy, why am I reading this page?"

At any rate, you probably want to know more about me, so you can check out some stuff about me HERE or you can email me at: rounder5253@yahoo.com

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