"Are you really the messiah?"
Yes I am.


archives

10/29/99

I found my mom's Halloween candy stash. I wuz actually looking for the chocolate chips she bought a few days ago. They would have done the job. But I hit the chocolate jackpot.
"Fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of ...chocolate!" Needless to say I've almost exhausted the supply.

"the smell of sunshine. ...I remember"

I don't think I can handle the emotional commitment required to own that fragile album. I hate NIN fans. But I've got a few songs here. Hush up you hypocrite. "Everyone is a hypocrite. Everyone." A kid I know said that the other day. Also called his nine year old sister a whore.
He spelled it out. "H-O-R-E."
Can you believe that? Calling his little sister a whore?!
Don't worry, I set him straight.

"It's spelled W-H-O-R-E, actually." I said.
"Whatever."

If I'm not an impeccable role model at least I am a bearer of decent grammar and spelling.
I think that is what's important in this day and age, don't you?
Like I care what you think.

Just a sissy on a rampage.


"You intergalactic hussy!"

Blablablaaaaaaaa. Wishe wish wwiiiiiiiish. And these nappists... Urgh. Tell me a little about this napster thing. And why I appear to be blacklisted from it's world.

All these stupid people who watch me and make their little assessments from some pedestal of anonymity. Safe and righteous there. "You're no good, you're no good, You're no good."
Fuck you. Like I ever took out shares in your life. I don't think so pal.
So I quote this Elliott line here again:
"Tell Mr.Man with impossible plans to just leave me alone.
In the place where I make no mistakes, In the place where I have what it takes."


"Here Romeo, make my world as great"

-PJ Harvey

I am so in one-way lust with an actor on North of 60 and I can't even figure out what his character's name is. So I can't check the credits and see what the actor's name is. But Jesus is he ever beautiful. I will share with you that I am literally weeping right now just thinking about him. Wow.
I do have out-of-control tear ducts though.

Anyways, this guy's character is kinda bad-ass and dangerous. He's a wanna-be bootlegger, and he's on the violent side. His character is not what holds the appeal to me. Though I guess subconciously, guiltily, it is part of it.
But what I am drawn to is ...his beauty. Beautiful, beautiful.

So, if you know who I'm talking about, and you know his story, and it involves a wife or a hardcore girlfriend,
please don't share.


You ask me about God?

I remember some friend taking me to her fucking church.
I remember "stand up. praise the lord. sit down. praise the lord." I remember saying "Goddamn!" as much as I could. I remember some guy with a beautiful guitar who said he "used to want to be in a big rock band," until he "found God" and I remember thinking "Shit, I hope I never find God."
Holy God I have found the ultimate cache of sacreligious remixes of previously perfectly beautiful Tori Amos songs. Leave good enough alone! This is terrible. "Horses" is not meant to be danced to. Not in the way this version would require. Ugh. What the fuck wuz going through these people's minds?

Give me life, Give me pain, Give me myself again.

"Where is everybody?"

"Sometimes I have everything,
Yet I wish I felt something."
-NIN

(Yeah fuck you for catching me quoting Nine Inch Nails.)


Have I mentioned these cuts on my head that I wake up with?
And that sound? That Sound? I can't -