Support for friends and relatives

Hello you wrote to me regarding your daughter (/son) with trich. I am by no means an expert on trich or its causes but i try to help people as much as I can.

From my own personal experience and research into trich, hair pulling seems to arrise in in all sorts of families, rich , poor, functional, dysfunctional. Some people have loving parents who try as best as they can to understand whilst other sufferers just experience their parents as unsupportive.

I think it is best for parents to try their best to understand how it is for their child, not to criticise or say to them: "why can´t you just stop?" That tends to make the situation worse.
If you find it hard to understand why your child can't just stop doing it, try to imagine the feeling of a fly crawling over your face. Trying to resist brushing it away is difficult. As soon as you stop concentrating trying to resist the urge to brush it away, you will have done it.

Suggest that your daughter/son take a look at my site. S/he may find some of my tips useful.

My trich started through exam stress and I do it mostly now whilst bored. Your daughter's trich may have another dynamic to mine. I would suggest she tries to identify when she does it most then try and develop an alternative behaviour in this situation.(symptom substitution). This is one of the emphases behind cognitive behaviour therapy. Psychologists suggest to keep a diary of the pulling episodes to help you to identify problem times of pulling then identify a solution for each case.

You could encourage your daughter(/son) to develop an alternative stress relieving behaviour , eg crafts, bracelet making or something that would appeal to her.I do cross stich, glass painting, candle making, bracelet making and painting by numbers. they are all things that relax me a lot.

I also suggest for your daughter(/son) or you to look at some of the support websites . For example www.trichotillomania.co.uk has a very active message board with a very well visited chat room. I often go in there and there is almost always someone friendly in there to chat to. Friends and relatives of people with trich often go in there to receive support and advice.

I would also advise you to write to other parents who have children with trich. They will most likely be able to support you as they are going through the same thing. I have set up a list of parents who would like to write to others going through the same things with their child.

A book you may find useful is:

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'The Hair Pulling Habit and You: How to Solve the Trichotillomania Puzzle' by Ruth Goldfinger Golomb, et al (1999)
This book has been specifically written for children and teenagers with trich (useful for adults though too!). It contains a lot of helpful advice for quitting pulling. Can be used with the help of a parent. The book takes a behavioural approach which can be applied with easy to follow steps .
More info...

I wish you lots of success, please remember to be patient with your child and not to get angry when she seems to ignore your requests for them to stop. It is not an easy task to stop pulling, but with your support your child can get there.

Further information on childhood trichotillomania:

An article written by a Clinical Psychologist( Fred Penzel) regarding Childhood trich

A parent's account of the development of trich in her child and how they helped her

Some advice for significant others (also from Fred Penzels site)

Fact sheet

NMHA ORG Fact sheet

-Their whole index of fact sheets