11:19 PM 12/9/01 the following story was started on 111301. the last time i had tried to write an update. its pretty ghey and not finished. but this is where it will end.

heres a story of a young boy
sam
sam doesnt like to be told what to do
so he does what he wants and he does it when he wants
understandably sam gets in trouble quite often
one day while sam was rubbing his eyes in physics class he rubbed too hard and his eye popped out
a normally bad occurrence
normally
sam enjoyed it
for he could still see out of his eye
he kicked it under sallys chair and giggled at what he saw
flowers
hed always wondered what kind hers were
now he was in trouble
how is he supposed to explain a missing eye to his mother
and how is he supposed to get his eye back from its very advantageous position

i wish i were coo. then i wouldnt have to pretend all the time. i wish this keyboard were dvorak. then i wouldnt have to type so slow. i wish i dint exist. then i wouldnt have to put up with day to day. i wish i owned an unlimited supply of hot and spicy chex mix. then i wouldnt have to worry about getting some. i wish i were set for life. then i wouldnt have to worry. i wish betrayal werent so easily achieved. then i would not be where i am today. i wish i dint have to censor what i say on here. then i would know that when i say i dont care that it is true. i wish. then i feel let down.

i tried to call amy today. she wasnt home. i miss her. she is a coo girl. was. im sure she still is i just dont know her very well right now. i saw her at the christmas stroll. she was with a girl and a boy. the boy appeared to be the only one who was not deaf. so i walked up to him, stuck out my hand and said im caleb. he said caleb. i said caleb. he said caleb. then he turned around. that made my day. jerk. saw jenn there also. for some reason that felt akward. isometric.

i know i know, ive been slacking as of late. too bad. ive been searching. for what i can not say. i can say. let me rephrase. for what i will not say. again its that censorship thing.

i got an article on slashdot the other day. i was so thoroughly excited.

rachel and tiffany are both supposed to come visit me. they better. i dont want to have to resort to violence. i wrote alicia and email today. i saw someone that reminded me of teresa yesterday. i saw amber at the christmas stroll. dori as well. and james and kylie. and brenda and sergio. and rob. and jessie and christina. and trevor and jenn and alesha (sp.) and a bunch of hot girls. and a bunch of pregnant girls. and a bunch of girls with kid(s) and jordan and kelsi and liz. and tawnya (sp.) and bob. some of these people i see on a regular basis. others i dont. it was kind of nice. amy has got to give some of the most wonderful hugs. i need to become way more fluent in sign language. i know the alphabet. and coming and going. i always feel bad when i grab a pen and paper to speak with her. i shouldnt but i feel like its degrading to her. if i want to speak with her i should have the common decency to learn her language.

halo officially rules. as does amped. and dead or alive 3. and nfl fever 2002. basically the xbox and all involved rules. i love it so much. get this. the xbox is so revolutionary it has allowed me to music i would never have listened to before. hows that for impressive.

all good things must eventually come to an end. i suppose that my update for tonight must also end. good or not. my mind just doesnt work how i wish it would. it works fine i mean to say. just not where i want it to excel does it. blah. outti like any given peace treaty.