12:05 AM 2/10/02 my mother asked me if i was alright today. i told her yes. of course im alright. why.
because you seem down. are you down. no. are you depressed. no. are you lying. no. how am i supposed to tell my mother that the whole reason i dint come home till 1130 when i left the house eighteen hours earlier was because i was angry at her and hurt by her?
how am i supposed to explain how let down i feel when im not supposed to know what i know?
why the fuck would she even mention divorce to my father. why in hell would she do that. im so angry right now. she has no right. im angry at both of them. for letting whatever is under their skin' cause this. im so pissed the only thing i can think of is what ill do if they do it. i will not speak to them ever again. my friends always ask how i have such a normal family. how i became the freak of the family. well.. im not. and i dont. i want out now. now. i need out. i cant be around this. i hate it. i hate thinking about it. i hate most things right now. unfortunate but true.

jordie is my friend.

all the world ive seen before me passing by
you dont care about how i feel

my empeg has 1 day 16 hours 18 minutes and 7 seconds of music on it
my empeg is still cooler than you

this update was made possible by jen and krystle. without them requesting such i wouldnt have done so. im not happy that i have divulged such information but its the only thing on my mind at this moment. if i hear any vicious rumors that are not part of what i said on this site then i will stop sharing such heartfelt thoughts. this i insist on. if you talk of what you read you are to refer the person you are conversing with to my site for this exact information. nothing i have said here has been confirmed by myself. when i say nothing i mean nothing having to do with the first paragraph written. i beg of you, dont make me sorry