Free as a Bird, ch. 5 Chapter Five

John, was sitting next to me. We had chosen a little restaurant just outside the center to get something to eat. I got dressed in the hotelroom that was book for Patty and me. It took me ages to persuade her to come along, although I knew very well why she first didn't feel like it.

I loked aorund from my place at the table. Patty had ended up next to George and kept glaring form him to me while he continued giving me grateful looks.

"It's alright," he said, stroking my arm.

"I...I er, he's my favourite," I said. I had to invent something and hoped it wouldn't annoy him. He smiled.

"I noticed that," Paul laughed.

"There you go mate, have a nice time," he added.

"You dirty little...." I started in the same accent. They all had to laugh. But I only tried my best not to think too hard, get past that deeper meaning I saw again while Paul said that. This time I didn't miss a knowing look from him to John. It was only one wink but it awoke something inside me.

Diner, it meant that we had a terriffic meal in the farest corner of the restaurant. Now I got to know Brian. I shook hands with him and introduced myself. Although it was already too late John suddenly caught my hand while a small glass fell over the table. It had probably been filled with some little drink to share before the meal but now it was all gone.

"That's thirty pounds from your wage," John said. I was shocked at first but then I saw the others grin and Paul burst out laughing when he saw my face.

"You dirty little..." I said staring at the empty plate in front of me.

"Sssh, we're in an expensive place," Paul whispered.

"It's awright," John said between two laughs and he tapped on my shoulder.

Right after dinner we were told that a whole club was hired to film a scene with dancing and all that.

"Right, I'm off to that posh bar," Ringo yawned.

"No, that was for me," an old man said right behind him. I really had to laugh.

"So you are that...." I started. These first phrases got stuck while George stapped on my toe.

"Er, we better go," he said a bit louder than normal. I could see Patty looked a bit disapointed.

"What is it, you'll see him tomorrow," John said looking at her.

"And the day after tomorrow, and the next and...." he went on.

"Shut up," she hissed and then hurried away.

"She is a fan," John chuckled.

"Well, he won't mind that," I said pointing at George who was sort of gazing in the direction she went.

"Oh, we'll fix that," John said. Then we had to leave for the bar.

There was quite a relaxed sphere. I sat at a table holding a glass and all the time I had to keep my eyes in the direction of where the Beatles were going. As soon as the fast song started, I saw Ringo dancing around and making funny looks. I almost rolled from my seat, now George was coming along and they kept goofing around. The filming just went on inspite of that, so it seemed part of the whole movie. Some girls next to me tried to start a conversation right when I felt a hand cover my hand which was lying on the table.

"Shall we...." The voice again. I looked up.

"Dance?" he added while he pulled me up.

"Yes, please," I said, it sounded more excited and...well, eager than I wanted. Of course my heart skipped a few beats but I didn't want to show anything of that to John. On the other hand I could see his face fall.

"Oh shit..I can't..." he said.

"Can't what? Just move," I said. Meanwhile some slow song had started from which I only could make out that Paul's voice was singing it.

"Oh this one's good, romantic," John grinned. It somehow made us get closer and all the time John kept looking straight in my eyes. The same way he had looked at me when I woke up.

"Would you mind if I..." he muttered and folded his arms around me. At the same time his lips touched mine. I couldn't describe what I felt. I was standing here with a good friend whom I'd known since I was a child. I wondered if he felt the same way. It could be that he hadn't recognized me the way I did. After all the touring around and these eyes staring at him from all the airports.

"And the many girls he could get," I sighed inside. All the time we both seemed to have something to say, but couldn't get it out. We just stood there, dancing to this lovely song and it felt so new and in the same time so familiar as well, that I suddenly wanted all of this to be out in the open. I was fed up with keeping things secret, hiding them away while I was almost certain my initial guess was right. I only hoped it wouldn't spoil everything.

"I've been there before, I knew that," I thought. The whole tense, I couldn't bear it any longer.

"John ....." I started.

"Hmmm," he muttered.

" you...." I searched around for the right words to tell him all this. But the only thing I came up with was tears.

For the nth time I felt them streaming over my face and I couldn't stop it. I felt a hand wiping them away and then one arm folded around me.

"Hey little bird... why are you sad at once?" that was enough proof. Always, everytime a situation like this happened back then, when I was small, he always said that.

"I....I guess my wings broke," I said in a choked voice, the same answer I always had when he asked that. Everything got mixed up at once. I felt tired, I longed for that place where we used to share things like this and at the same time I was so happy I found him here, now. John folded both his arms around me. Through my tears I looked up at his face. He was beaming all over.

"So... you are who I thought you were," John said. It was more a conclusion then a question.

"You're back," he added.

"You're back." I said. The meaning of my tears changed. It turned from the melancholic feeling I had right after these familiar words, into the happpiest feeling I had ever had.

"I'm sorry," I said. "It's just....all the time I knew it and I just wasn't sure," I rambled on and on.

"It's alright, hey, that's awright now, see I knew it too, when I saw you there....that's what I meant, and I did a few hints but I thought it didn't work."

"It did!" I said. I finally laughed.

"It worked, everything was so familiar, it couldn't be wrong....AND I gave hints too." John smiled. I threw my arms around him.

"I can't believe this," I said, suddenly beaming all over.

"Same for me," John sighed, and he cleared his throat.

"We need to sit down," he said. He held me tight for a moment and I still couldn't believe this. Finally I knew the answer and I could talk about it.

He led me to a couch and only then I realized something awful. We had to pass a camera which was standing near the emplifier the music came from. I froze at once.

"John, shit, we're filmed, all this is on tape," I said.

"No, that's ok, eveyrone's having fun, it was just a few minutes of filming and....well besides, what's the use of partying for just ten minutes."

I let out a sigh of relieve. Thank God none of this seemed to be registered anywhere. We reached a couch and fell down on it.

"And above all, I found you here so...." John said. I felt his hand going around in my hair and from the look in his eyes I could tell it wasn't just to try to fix it back in order.

"Hey there, does your mother know about this," I said, jokingly grabbing his hand.

"Oh please let us go," John said in the same voice he used that day in the park.

"Alright lads, here you're all together," I said. "Ah, welcome," John said folding his hands over mine. I felt we should laugh about this but there was something between us that held that back. I checked the clock.

"You want to leave already?" John said.

"Let's first have some drinks," he added looking over at the bar.

"And what do you want miss," he said. I was bound to say "Coke," when two lips suddenly touched mine. His arms fell around me again and I put mine around him too.

"This feels great," I sighed. John just got up and lifted me up. My heart skipped a few beats. What was going on here. All kinds of funny jokes and thoughts went torugh my mind but I said nothing, just to keep the sphere.

"Feeling better," he whispered. I wished this could last forever.

"I'm fine," I whispered. My hands played around with his hair a bit and leant my head against his shoulder. He danced a bit and then set back on the couch again. All the time he held me in his arms and rocked me. I almost fell asleep. All of a sudden I heard some voices behind the couch and someone peaked alongside. "Paul," I thought. I figured he could very well see what was going on here. I could at least imagine him saying something like, "I knew it." Someone put two drinks on the table, then winked at John and me and left.

"Thanks, Ring," John said.

It lasted all too short. Of course, it had been going on for the rest of the evening but to me things seemed to go much faster than they were. We had a few drinks and tried to start conversations. Somehow this didn't seem private enough to share our memories and catch up with lost time. Soon enough we had to go to the hall to grab our coats.


Chapter Six

Written by Yvonne. May not be reproduced without the permission of the author. Permission may be obtained by e-mail.

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