I Should've Known Better, ch. 4 Chapter Four

As I sat up and stirred on the couch, I noticed some papers lying on the table in front of John, with him still keeping the sour expression on his face.

"Having a bad morning John?" I said sarcastically.

"Well, I don't see that it's any of your business, but yes, I am. What are you doing here by the way?" he asked in a dry tone.

"Well, seems to me, that I passed out on your couch after having coffee with Paul." I replied.

"Oh, do you ever seem to make it home on your own? And you just had coffee, seems most unlikely to me." he said rudely.

"John, I'll tell you something, there's one thing that I'm not, and that's a floozy." I retorted while grabbing my things getting ready to leave.

"Well, you look like you could use some coffee, would you like some?" he asked taking a kinder tone.

"Why the sudden burst of generosity?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, I thought maybe we might be able to get along for at least five seconds, but I guess with you that's not possible." he replied, frustrated.

"Sorry, gee, it's just hard to tell when you're being genuine sometimes, yes I'd love some coffee." I said trying to be slightly nice.

"What makes you think the offer still stands?" he asked smirking.

"Kidding." he said holding his hands up when he noticed my icy glare.

"I take it black thanks." I called to him in the kitchen.

As John walked back into the room, I started wondering what could be bothering him so much.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, what's bothering you?" I asked cautiously.

"Well, I'm not sure if I wanna talk about it, and I'm not sure if I did, I'd choose you, not to be rude." he replied solemnly.

"Well, I have a bit of experience with bad days, so if you wanna get something off your chest, just say the word." I said in an effort to make peace.

"Sure, if the time comes." he said wiping dribbled coffee off his chin.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Around noon." he replied.

"Where did Paul run off to?"

"He had to do some shopping, he said to tell you sorry he had to run out, but thanks for the talking last night." he said bitterly.

"Well, I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to get home." I said kinda relieved to be getting outta here.

"Well, it was.....uh....an experience. Maybe I'll see you around." he concluded.

"Yeah, maybe, uh, thanks for everything." I said, happy to be leaving, but still having a feeling that this wasn't over, not by a longshot.

As I jumped in my car, I surprisingly felt pretty good today, so I turned on the radio. Well, what do you know, who else but the Beatles with the ever-fabulous song "It's Only Love". As I sat and listened, I really began to understand the song. Quite pretty it was, then I began to wonder, how could a masterpiece like this, come out of a bitter man like that. I guess it was partially my fault that we got off to a bad start. Oh well, just another day.

I promptly started my car, and headed for home.

When I finally arrived at my house, I found my sister on the couch listening to records, and writing in some notebook.

"What are you doing, Danielle?" I asked curiously.

"I'm writing a letter to my friend Alicia. Where were you all night?" she asked accusingly.

"I fell asleep at a friend's house." I replied trying to keep it short.

"Spill it." she countered.

"OK, well, I met Paul at the Tavern last......" I was suddenly cut off by Danielle.

"You mean Paul.....Paul McCartney?" she asked wide-eyed.

"Yes, I had to return John's wallet to him. Anyhow, we talked and I went to their place for coffee, fell asleep on the couch, and that's it, I woke up and came home." I said nonchalantly.

"You're soo lucky sissy." she said in an envious tone.

"You're so disillusioned." I replied, walking upstairs.

Bumping into my mom on the way, she gave me a disapproving, but tender look.

"So, did you have fun last night?" she asked surprisingly calm.

"Yeah, it was OK." I answered.

"So, tell me, did you see John?" she asked with prying curiosity.

"Well, yeah, but he was in a bit of a mood as usual, and Mom, why are you soo obsessed with John?" I asked, annoyed.

"Well, he just seems like a nice boy." she replied.

"Don't forget Mom, you never were one for a good judge of character." I said knowingly.

Leaving it at that, I retired to my room and decided to write some poetry, which I did often. Sitting there, the words just flowed easily, never a second thought.

My Love

I see the mystery in your eyes,
and hear your voice that tells no lies.
I'll never have you in my life,
and yet I see you in the night.
For a dream that's all you are,
My love forever my shining star.
A nowhere man you'll never be,
you were always somewhere someone to me.
I long to hear you calling my name,
and for your touch I wish the same.
Together forever is how it should be,
and eternity of just you and me.

I sat back and read what I had written, I didn't even understand it myself. I knew who it was about, but I had yet to figure out who that was. It was about my perfect love, my savior I hadn't come across yet.

Having nothing to do that day, I figured I might as well do a little shopping, I could use a new outfit.

I quickly showered and dressed in jeans and a green peasant shirt, and headed downstairs.

"Mom, I'm going to do a little shopping, can I get you anything?" I asked hurriedly.

"No dear, but my, you seem to be in better moods today." she said shocked.

"Well, you know, I feel a bit better today." I replied just as shocked.

I soon went downtown and visited all the clothing boutiques that I favored. The only thing I found that tickled my fancy was a very daring dress. It was blue silk, ankle length, form fitting, and laced up the back. It was pretty revealing, but hey, you only live once.

I hopped in my car while throwing my purchases in the back-seat, and set off for home.

I arrived home finding a dark empty house, and found a note on the table.

Dear Harmony:

Your sister and I have gone out for dinner, I assumed you'd already have plans. We'll be back around 8:30. See you then.


Oh well, I thought. I proceeded to go upstairs and ready myself for my usual night at the Tavern.

Choosing to wear my new dress and some sling back black heels, I wore a beautiful silver bracelet my grandma had given me, and a blue topaz and silver ring from my mom.

I checked myself in the mirror just one more time, and set out to my usual hideout.

When I arrived at the bar, I didn't feel much like drinking tonight, which was strange, so I ordered a beer to start.

I made my way over to my usual table, and had the strange feeling I was being watched. I scanned the bar, and my suspicions were confirmed. There was a very tall, very mean-looking man leering at me. I tried not to look at him so as not to give him the wrong idea, when I saw him approaching me from the corner of my eye.

"Hey sweet thing, how you doin'?" he asked his deep voice creeping from his lungs.

"Um, all right thanks." I said, trying to keep it light.

"You need a date?" he asked while eyeing my chest.

"Um, no thanks, I'm fine, I'd prefer to be alone." I said, fakely smiling.

"You know, I don't think you would. I think what you need is a big strong man like me." he said while trying to flex his muscles.

"Like I said, I would prefer to be alone, if you don't mind."

"Fine, I don't need a bitch like you anyway." he roared with and icy stare and walked away.

"Whew." I sighed aloud.

He sure was scary, I thought.

Not feeling much like the bar scene tonight, I decided to just head home and call it a night.

I walked over to the bar and paid my bill, that man staring at me hadn't gone unnoticed either.

While exiting the bar, I decided to take the side exit to prevent seeing anyone I knew.

The last thing I remember is feeling a hard punch in the back of my head and being shoved to the pavement. I tried to scream, but before I could they stuffed a rag in my mouth. I started to cry and panic. I could feel their heavy weight on me, realizing they were ripping my dress open, I could feel them tearing at my panties rubbing their dirty hands on my legs and back, I got so scared and sick, that I passed out cold.

I woke up face down in a puddle. Not remembering where I was, I looked around to see a number of trashcans, and then realized I was in the alley, and everything came back to memory. I sat up and leaned on the wall and just sobbed. I had nowhere to go, I couldn't go home and let my mom see me like this. Feeling alone and dirty, I just sat and cried. Looking down at my ragged dress, I didn't know what to do. I tried to think of somewhere, anywhere to go, and only one place popped in my mind.

I scurried to my car in the hopes that no one would see me, and quickly drove across town. I parked in the parking lot and just waited. I flipped down the visor and looked in the mirror. My left eye was blacker than tar, and my lip was split wide open. I looked down and saw bruises in the shape of large fingers up and down my arm and just began to cry. I felt so ashamed.

I sat and waited, until finally I saw what I was looking for. John creeping across the parking lot. I quietly managed to get out of my car.

"John." I whispered lightly.

He turned when he heard me, but I guess he couldn't see, he started squinting in my direction. I limped out of the shadows, so he could see, but still tried to hide my face.

"Oh, wonderful, what are you doing here?" he asked, not noticing my wounds.

"John, I'm sorry, I'm....I'm.....so sorry." I broke down into sobs.

He quickly came over to me and saw my bruises.

"Oh, what happened luv? WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!" he asked, angered.

"I....I was, I didn't do anything, they just, I was going home, and I got knocked down....." Starting to sob uncontrollably.

"Come 'ead luv, let's get you upstairs." he said trying to comfort me.

He held me in one arm helping me walk, and we continued to sneak up to their room.

Chapter Five

Written by Jeanna. May not be reproduced without the permission of the author. Permission may be obtained by e-mail.

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