Twisted Nursery Rhymes
NB - I didn't write these!!
Hickory dickory dock,
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
But it wasn't badly hurt.
OR
Hickory dickory dock,
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
But the other one got away.
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
Eating her Irish stew.
Down came a spider and sat down beside her,
And so she ate him up, too!
OR
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
Drinking up gasoline.
Down came a spider and lit up a lighter,
And blew her to smithereens!
Mary had a little lamb.
You've heard this tale before;
But did you know she passed her plate,
And had a little more?
OR
People think that fleas are black,
But this just is not so!
For Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleas were white as snow
OR
Mary had a little lamb.
The obstetrician was amazed!
But when old MacDonald had a farm...
OR
Mary had a William goat,
Its stomach was lined with zinc,
It followed her to school one day,
And drank a pint of ink.
Once it ate an oyster can,
Also a line of shirts,
The shirts can do no harm inside,
But oh, the oyster hurts!
The can was filled with dynamite,
Which Billy thought was cheese,
He rubbed against poor Mary's shin,
His deep distress to ease.
The was a flash of girl and goat,
And they no more were seen
Oh Mary's soul to heaven went,
And Billy's went there too.
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat,
How I wonder what you're at;
Up above the world so high,
Like a tea-tray in the sky,
Twinkle, twinkle little bat,
How I wonder what you're at.
OR
Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
Fain would I fathom your nature specific;
Loftily poised in ether capacious,
Somewhat resembling a gem carbonaceous,
Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
Fain would I fathom your nature specific
OR
Twinkle, twinkle, little starfish,
How I wonder what you arefish;
On the coral rocks you creep,
Underneath the sea so deep,
Twinkle, twinkle, little starfish,
How I wonder what you arefish.
Kookaburra sits on the 'lectric wire,
Jumping up and down with his pants on fire;
Jump, kookaburra, jump, kookaburra,
Higher and higher and higher!
I want more!! Then click on the book below. What are you waiting for? It's a collection of very funny sequels to our favourite nursery rhymes. Makes a great gift too!