| You fly a lot if... | You fly too much if... | You've really overdone it if... |
|---|---|---|
| When asked for an opinion, you can name an airline you like. | When asked for an opinion, you can list the pros and cons of some airlines you like. | When asked for an opinion, you produce detailed statistical charts and analyses, based on your own experiences with the airlines you like. |
| You can identify an airline from the cabin crew's costumes. | You can identify an airline from the cabin crew's faces. | The airline's cabin crew can identify you from your face. |
| You get yourself a new passport when your old one expires. | You get yourself a new passport when your old one runs out of pages. | Your government begins to send you passports without you having to ask. |
| You consider ordering a larger passport next time. | You already order the largest passports but find it's not large enough. | Your government has named a passport size after you. |
| You've joined a frequent flyer program. | You've earned enough points to get a free flight. | You've earned enough points to get free aeroplane. |
| You have your passport ready before you come to filling out immigration documents. | You no longer have your passport ready, because you have memorized all the details, including the passport number and expiry date. | You no longer memorize all the details, because the immigration officials produce specially printed documents just for you. |
| You apply for a visa to a country whose name you can't pronounce. | You find a visa in your passport for a country whose name you can't pronounce, but you can't remember going there. | A country whose name you can't pronounce, and to where you can't remember going, offers you Permanent Residence on the basis of the total combined length of your visits. |
| You keep a collection of boarding cards. | Your spouse complains about your collection of boarding cards. | Your collection of boarding cards is listed in local tourist guides. |
| You wonder why aeroplane toilets are so small. | You've stopped wondering. | You wonder why normal toilets are so large. |
| You know why people don't like airline food. | You've learned to appreciate airline food. | You've written to an airline to ask for recipes. |