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"The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" Music by Ennio Morricone Sequenced and arranged by Stef Klopper |
| Original English Title | Mandarin Title | Hanyu Pinyin | Direct Translation | Explanation? |
| Vampire in Brooklyn | 我吸，我吸，我吸吸吸 | wo3 xi1, wo3 xi1, wo3 xi1 xi1 xi1 | I Suck, I Suck, I Suck Suck Suck | Just a simple movie review will do? |
| Hannibal | 人魔 | ren2 mo2 | Human Devil | Personal names don't always translate well into Mandarin. |
| Demon II | 新人魔２ | xin1 ren2 mo2 er4 | New Human Devil 2 | When in doubt, confuse the viewer. By the way, the word "xin1" ("new") was written on the box with a very small Hanzi character. This is deception at its purist. Viewers beware! |
| Babe | 我不笨，所以我有話要說 | wo3 bu2 ben4, suo3 yi3 wo3 you3 hua4 yao4 shuo1 | I'm Not Stupid, So I Have Something to Say | Diarrhea of the mouth? |
| Babe, Pig in the City | 我很乖，因為我要出國 | wo3 hen3 guai1, yin1 wei4 wo3 yao4 chu1 guo2 | I'm Well Behaved, Because I Want to Go Abroad | Diarrhea, Part 2? |
| Gordy | 我不笨，所以我說 | wo3 bu2 ben4, suo3 yi3 wo3 shuo1 | I'm Not Stupid, So I Talk | Even the English version is a ripoff of Babe (or vice versa). Both movies were released the same year. Coincidence? I think not. |
| My Brother the Pig | 他不笨，牠是我心肝寶貝 | ta1 bu2 ben4, ta1 shi4 wo3 xin1 gan1 bao3 bei4 | He's Not Stupid, He's My Darling Baby | The first ta1 ("He") in the Mandarin title is used for male humans. The second ta1 means "It," often used for animals. Even more directly translated, xin1 gan1 means "heart and liver." Other than that, it ain't too heavy. |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| Dangerous Liaisons | 危險關係 | wei2 xian3 guan1 xi4 | Dangerous Relationships | None needed. It's an accurate translation. |
| The Mexican | 危險情人 | wei2 xian3 qing2 ren2 | Dangerous Lover(s) | A direct translation might be perceived as being a documentary. |
| What Lies Beneath | 危機四伏 | wei2 ji1 si4 fu2 | Danger On All Sides | I dunno. |
| Y2K | 千禧危機 | qian1 xi1 wei2 ji1 | Millennium Crisis | Sounds reasonable, if redundant. |
| Fear | 致命的危機 | zhi4 ming4 de0 wei2 ji1 | Fatal Crisis | 'Cuz Marky Mark's in it? |
| Almost an Angel | 鱷魚天使 | e4 yu2 tian1 shi3 | Crocodile Angel | This was Paul Hogan's first post-Crocodile Dundee role. It had nothing to do with reptiles! |
| (unknown) | 危險天使 | wei2 xian3 tian1 shi3 | Dangerous Angel | Got me! |
| The Avenging Angel | 復仇天使 | fu4 chou2 tian1 shi3 | Avenging Angel | Exact translation! |
| The Substitute | 復仇女神 | fu4 chou2 nu:3 shen2 | Avenging Goddess | A title which implied that this were a story about a substitute teacher (even if true) would be too boring, I guess. |
| The Faculty | 老師不是人 | lao3 shi1 bu2 shi4 ren2 | Teacher Is Not Human |
This Mandarin title is probably better than the original. (Thanks to visitor S.A. for this one.) |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| The Shawshank Redemption | 刺激1995 | ci4 ji1 yi1 jiu3 jiu3 wu3 | Exciting 1995 | While a title like "Shawshank Redemption" gets English speakers to search for meaning within a film, it turns Taiwanese viewers away from the box office. |
| Return to Paradise | 刺激1998 | ci4 ji1 yi1 jiu3 jiu3 ba1 | Exciting 1998 | I really don't know. |
| Pretty Woman | 麻雀變鳳凰 | ma2 que4 bian4 feng4 huang2 | Sparrow Becomes the Empress | A common rise-to-success theme. Pretty Woman is also the English title of a few Chinese-made films. |
| Mrs. Winterbourne | 1996麻雀變鳳凰 | yi1 jiu3 jiu3 liu4 ma2 que4 bian4 feng4 huang2 | 1996 Sparrow Becomes the Empress | See above. Besides, Pretty Woman came out in 1990. By 1996, it was already an "old" movie! Ha ha ha! |
| Evening Star | 親密關係 1997 | qin1 mi4 guan1 xi4 1997 | Loving Relations 1997 | This is the sequel to "Terms of Endearment" (which probably has the same Mandarin title with "1983" at the end). |
| The Edge | 1997 勢不兩立 | yi1 jiu9 jiu9 qi1 shi4 bu2 liang3 li4 | 1997 Unable to Peacefully Live Together | I'd bet the "War of the Roses" already had the same title. |
| Quills | 鵝毛筆 | e2 mao2 bi3 | Goose Feather Pen | None needed. It's an accurate translation. |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| Gladiator | 神鬼戰士 | shen2 gui3 zhan4 shi4 | God(s), Ghost(s), (and) Warrior(s) |
Uh, I dunno. Write to me if you do. (Replace "$" with "@") A. Tseng wrote and said, "It should be translated as 'The Warrior of Gods and Ghosts' ... meaning that [Maximus] is invincible and indestructable ... if that makes any sense." Okay! W.Han who "knows he's god" (according to his e-mail address) says that because "in Chinese myth, gods are not always the loving kind," it means that "Maximus is like a crazy motherfucking warrior." All right! |
| The Mummy | 神鬼傳奇 | shen2 gui3 chuan2 qi2 | God Ghost Legend/Saga | Direct translation would be too boring. |
| Night Fall | 新神鬼傳奇 | xin1 shen2 gui3 chuan2 qi2 | New God Ghost Legend/Saga | Even the box for the video looked like the original "Mummy." Ugh! |
| Dungeons and Dragons | 神龍傳奇 | shen2 long2 chuan2 qi2 | God Dragon Legend/Saga | If you don't look carefully, you'll think you're buying/renting "The Mummy." There's even an "exotic-looking" bald guy on the box. Gimme a f***ing break! |
| Attila | 神鬼戰神 | shen2 gui3 zhan4 shen2 | Godlike, Ghostlike God of All Warriors | Another attempt to cash in on the popularity of "The Gladiator" and/or "The Mummy." |
| Sneakers | 神鬼尖兵 | shen2 gui3 jian1 bing1 | God Ghost Point Soldier | Beats the "hack" outa me. |
| The Blair Witch Project | 厄夜叢林 | e4 ye4 cong2 lin2 | Night in the Cramped Forest | No patience for learning what "Blair Witch" means? |
| The Bare Wench Project | 厄夜叢林2 | e4 ye4 cong2 lin2 er4 | Night in the Cramped Forest 2 | Although this is a parody of "The Blair Witch Project" (and there are many: "Blair Witch Rejects," "Tony Blair Witch Project," etc.), somebody wants Taiwanese to believe that it's the real sequel (see below). |
| In the Woods | 惡夜叢林2 | e4 ye4 cong2 lin2 er4 | Night in the Horrific Forest 2 | A soundalike for the above two films, but still not the sequel implied by the title. |
| Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 | 陰魂怒吼 | yin1 hun2 nu4 hou3 | Spirits of the Dead Roar | Didn't want viewers to know they were seeing the real sequel? (See above.) |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| The English Patient | 英倫情人 | ying1 lun2 qing2 ren2 | The English Lover | I think Taiwanese have an aversion for such horrible words as "patient" and an unnatural craving for movies with the word "lover" in the title. |
| The Companion | 情人不e | qing2 ren2 bu4 yi1 | Lover(s) Without Electricity | It's about a female writer who buys a male android. Plus, the "e" seems to be included on just about everything early in the third millennium. |
| Hideous Kinky | 北非情人 | bei3 fei1 qing2 ren2 | North African Lover(s) | A direct translation would probably come across about as eloquent and romantic as "Ugly Pervert." |
| The Story of Us | Kiss 情人 | Kiss qing2 ren2 | Kiss Lovers | Because it's such a sad movie? |
| The Other Sister | 愛情DIY | ai4 qing2 di1 ai1 wai1 | Do-It-Yourself Romance | "DIY" seems to be a Taiwanese allusion to masturbation, but I haven't seen this film myself. |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| Liar, Liar | 王牌大騙子 | wang2 pai2 da4 pian4 zi0 | Trump Card Big Liar | Just about any movie with Jim Carrey will have "Trump Card" ("Ace") in the title, even if it's not in the "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective" series. |
| The Cable Guy | 王牌特派員 | wang2 pai2 te4 pai4 yuan2 | Trump Card Specialist | See above. |
| Austin Powers (1) | 王牌大賤諜 | wang2 pai2 da4 jian4 die2 | Trump Card Big Spy | See above, replacing "Jim Carrey" with "Mike Myers." Additionally, while "jian4 die2" is the correct pronunciation for "spy," the character for "jian4" used in this title means "bitch"! (Mandarin pun.) |
| Austin Powers (2): The Spy Who Shagged Me | 時空賤諜007 | shi2 kong1 jian4 die2 ling2 ling2 qi1 | Space Spy 007 | Anything with "007" will be about a spy, but not necessarily James Bond. More like James Band wearing "Abibas" sneakers, I guess. |
| Austin Powers (3): Goldmember | 夠Man吧 | gou4 Man ba0 | Man Enough, I guess | A wonderful "transliteration" of the English this time with a good translation of the film's meaning to boot. |
| Dudley Do-Right | 王牌騎警 | wang2 pai2 qi2 jing3 | Trump Card Mounted Police | See other "trump cards" above. |
| Ordinary Decent Criminal | 王牌罪犯 | wang2 pai2 zui4 fan4 | Trump Card Criminal | Kevin Spacey doesn't usually seem like a "trump card," but this time might be different. |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| Dr. No | 第七號情報員(1) | di4 qi1 hao4 qing2 bao4 yuan2 (yi1) | Secret Agent Number 7 (Part 1) | This was the first in the Bond series. I imagine that they came up with the Mandarin title much later. (Notice no "double-oh" -- explained in the film as his "licence to kill." [British spelling]) |
| From Russia With Love | 第七號情報員(2) | di4 qi1 hao4 qing2 bao4 yuan2 (er4) | Secret Agent Number 7 (Part 2) | This was the second in the Bond series. Later films (Goldfinger, Man With the Golden Gun, etc.) included literal translations. |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| My Favorite Martian | 外星人報到 | wai4 xing1 ren2 bao4 dao4 | Alien Report | Glinkflarb wishiwog! |
| Third Rock from the Sun (TV series) | 外星人報到 | wai4 xing1 ren2 bao4 dao4 | Alien Report | Whichever came first (see above), the second was a copy. |
| Terminator | 魔鬼終結者 | mo2 gui3 zhong1 jie2 zhe3 | Devil Terminator | In film titles, Devil + terminator = Taiwanese box office success(?) |
| Independence Day (ID4) | 星際終結者 | xing1 ji4 zhong1 jie2 zhe3 | Interstellar Terminator | See above. |
| Predator | 終極戰士 | zhong1 ji2 zhan4 shi4 | Terminator Soldier | See above. |
| Mercury Rising | 終極密碼戰 | zhong1 ji2 mi4 ma3 zhan4 | Terminator Code War | Got me. |
| Merlin | 終極魔法師 | zhong1 ji2 mo2 fa3 shi1 | Terminator Magician | The reincarnated daughter of Merlin is being chased through time. |
| The Professional | 終極追殺令 | zhong1 ji2 zhui1 sha1 ling4 | Terminal Chase Kill Order (?) | First I have to figure out a better direct translation! |
| From Dusk 'Til Dawn | 惡夜追殺令 | e4 ye4 zhui1 sha1 ling4 | Evil Night Chase Kill Order (?) | First I have to figure out a better direct translation! |
| Technofear | 魔鬼追殺令 | mo2 gui3 zhui1 sha1 ling4 | Devil Chase Kill Order (?) | See other titles above. |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| Basic Instinct | 第六感追殺令 | di4 liu4 gan3 zhui1 sha1 ling4 | Sixth Sense Chase Kill Order (?) | Uhhhhh... Heh heh! |
| The Muse | 第六感女神 | di4 liu4 gan3 nu:3 shen2 | Sixth Sense Goddess | 7 years after Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone is back as "the muse." How much do they pay people to make up these titles? |
| Meet Joe Black | 第六感生死緣 | di4 liu4 gan3 sheng1 si3 yuan2 | Sixth Sense Life and Death Fate | Yeah, boy! |
| Quick navigation: | Top | Deconstructionist Meta-analysis | Why'd ya have to go and do that? | The List | Dangerous Crises | Years of Excitement | Gods and Ghosts | Patient Lovers | Trump Cards | Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up? | Interstellar Devil Terminators | Sixth Sense Devil Bunnies | All Your Base Are Belong to Us | Let's Get to the Bottom of This Mess | ||||
| All Your Base Are Belong to Us | 你們的基地都是我們的 | ni3 men0 de0 ji1 di4 dou1 shi4 wo3 men0 de0 | All Your Bases Are Ours | Verbs aren't conjugated in Mandarin, and nouns aren't always delineated as singular or plural. In case you're wondering, this is not a real example, but I'm glad you visited! (Here's a real link for you.) |
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