The Great Milenko

INTRO

"PUMPKIN PUT SOME MUSIC ON, I FEEL LIKE DANCIN'." "HOLD ON

SUGA',I'M FIXIN' TO RIGHT NOW.....3,6,4..AWRIGHT,NOW COME

OVER HERE WOMAN, LET'S GET THIS SHINDIG STARTED,WOO!C'MON

EVERYBODY!.......NOW WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS

JUKE MACHINE?""BE WARNED,MY CHILDREN...SIX WILL VISIT...

FOLLOWED BY THE CRUMBLING OF TIME ITSELF.BEFORE THE COMING

OF TIME ITSELF. BEFORE THE COMING OF SHANGRI-LA, A DARK

CARNIVAL WILL SWEEP ACROSS THE LAND,AS A SHADOW,PLAGUED WITH

DESTRUCTION. A PARADE OF FREAKS, JUGGLERS,AND DEATH. THIS

WRETCHED NIGHTMARE IS LED BY SIX FACES. THREE HAVE COME,

THREE HAVE GONE. THE FOURTH EMERGES NOW. HE WALKS AMONG US

AS A SHADOW,VOID OF LIGHT,POWERED BY YOUR OWN DARKNESS,

STRENGHTENED BY YOUR OWN WICKEDRY. A HORRID REFLECTION OF

YOUR VERY OWN DEEP DESIRES CAST AND REFLECTED BACK UPON

YOURSELF. BROTHERS AND SISTERS! THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE

NECROMASTER. THE UNLEASHING OF THE FOURTH JOKER'S CARD...THE

ARRIVAL OF...THE GREAT MILENKO,MILENKO,MILENKO..." "THIS

DAMN THING! MARIANNE WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS

MUSIC BOX?" "DON'T MIND THAT THING HONEY, IT DOES THAT ALL THE TIME!"

GREAT MILENKO

GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HAAA),

GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA),

GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HA),

GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)!

(REPEAT)

COME ONE,COME ALL,AND WITNESS MAGIC!

I INTRODUCE TO YOU AN OCCULT SORCERER OF THE ANCIENT CRAFT OF NECROMANCY.

A CASTER OF MIND BENDING ILLUSIONS,

FROM THE NETHER VOID OF THE SHADOW WALKERS,

EXCEL FROM SHANGRI-LA,THE GREAT MILENKO.

GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HA),

GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)

GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HA),

GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)!

(REPEAT TWICE)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WITNESS THE KEEPER OFARCANE,WICKED VOODOO MAGIC.

A BEGUILER OF SPELLS,HEXES,AND CURSES,

WITH THE HELP OF POTIONS,TALISMANS,

AND ANCIENT RELICS FROM THE FORBIDDEN REALMS OF THE DARK CARNIVAL.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,THE GREAT MILENKO!

GREAT MILENKO(HA HA HA HA HA),

GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)

GREAT MILENKO (HA HA HA HA HA)

GREAT MILENKO(HM HM HM HM HA HA HA HA)

(REPEAT TWICE)

HOKUS POKUS

SERIAL SLAUGHTERING STRANGLERS,

JUGGLIN JUGGLIN JUGGALERS,

FOLDED FAT FLOPPY-TITTIED FREAKS,

IC FXCKIN P'S IN THE HAUGH!

ABRACADABRA! BOOM SHACKA DAY,

I'M VIOLENT J AND I'M BACK LIKE A VERTABRATE.

AND I COME WITH A HAT FULL OF TRICKS,

TRUNK FULL OF FAYGO,

CAR FULL OF FAT CHICKS!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, FXCK YOU.

WICKED CLOWNS, WE'D LIKE TO SAY WHASSUP TO THE COBRA'S, X-MEN, AND COUNTS,

AND EVERYBODY WITH CLOWN LOVE, EVEN SECS I'VE NEVER HEARD OF.

ROLL INTO TOWN AND OUT WITH THE BIG TOP,

FOUR CARDS DOWN,AND TWO MORE STILL TO DROP.

AND WHEN IT DOES,

I PACK UP AND HIT THE ROAD,

CUZ I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE!

TOSS ME AN AXE AND I'LL TOSS YOU A DEAD CHICKEN,

ADD A BUCK, YOU GET A TWO-LITER WITH EM'!

AND WHEN THE GENIE SAYS ON WITH THE SHOW, ITS HOKUS POKUS JOKERS GREAT MILENKO!

HOKUS POKUS JOKERS RIDE,

COME TAKE A SPIN ON A CARNEY RIDE!

(REPEAT)

SHAZAM!BAM!SHAGALAGALOKUS,

SHAGGY THE CLOWN BACK LIKE SCOLIOSIS.

CALL ME A PSYCHO SKITZO FREAK,

AND I'LL CALL YOU BY YOUR NAME-DICKANUS!

CUZ I COULD GIVE TWO SHXTS AND A FXCK!

I BOUNCED UP VERNOR IN A POPCORN CLOWN TRUCK.

I'M A CIRCUS NINJA SOUTHWEST VOODOO WIZARD,

I'LL GRAB YOUR GIZZARD!

JUMP ON THE CARPET,

LET'S TAKE A SPIN,

EVERYBODY'S WAITIN FOR THE SHOW TO BEGIN.

UP TO THE TOP,BY THE NECK,AND LET YOU GO.

TRY TO LAND IN A GLASS OF FAYGO.

UH-YOU SUCK, YOU MISSED THE FXCKIN GLASS,

BROKE YOUR NECK,

AND BUSTED YOUR FxCKIN ASS.

BUT THE GENIE SAYS ON WITH THE SHOW,

HOKUS POKUS JOKERS, GREAT MILENKO!

HOKUS POKUS JOKERS RIDE,COME TAKE A SPIN ON A CARNEY RIDE!

(REPEAT)

RUDE BOY AND CHUCKY,DOWN WITH THE CLOWN.

THE FIRST TIME WE EVER WENT TO MEXICAN TOWN.

I REMEMBER WE COULDN'T PAY THE BILL,

THEY GOT HOT,

AND BEAT US DOWN IN THE FxCKING PARKING LOT.

TALL TESS,JUMPSTEADY,AND NATE THE MACK,

TAGGED ICP BY THE TRAIN TRACKS.

AND IT WAS ON,

THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY,

MAGICAL CARPET SCREAMING DOWN THE FREEWAY.

WALKED IN A GYPSY'S TENT WITH A FOOD STAMP,

WALKED OUT WITH A MAGICAL LAMP,YEAH.

I MET MILENKO,HE GAVE ME THREE WISHES.

THAT NIGHT,I FXCKED THREE FAT BITCHES.

THEN GET THE FXCK WITH IT, FORGET IT!

I'LL RIP YOUR FACE OFF AND WIPE MY ASS WITH IT!

WHEN THE GENIE SAYS ON WITH THE SHOW,

HOKUS POKUS JOKERS,GREAT MILENKO!

HOKUS POKUS JOKERS RIDE,

COME TAKE A SPIN ON A CARNEY RIDE!

(REPEAT QUITE A FEW TIMES)

PIGGY PIE

COME AND GET IT!!!

WOO!!

WE GOT SOME FRESH VITTLES FOR YOUR FAT CHICKEN ASS TO SNACK ON BITCH!

SO HERE,START WITH A SLICE OF THIS FRESH PIGGY PIE,MOTHER FXCKA!!

THE FIRST LITTLE PIGGY,

HIS HOUSE IS MADE OF WOOD.

HE LIVES IN THE CHICKEN TURKEY PIGGY NEIGHBORHOOD.

HE LIKES TO FXCK HIS SISTER,

AND DRINK HIS MOONSHINE.

A TYPICAL REDNECK FILTHY FXCKING SWINE.

I RODE INTO TOWN WITH MY AX IN MY HOLSTER,

EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT THE WICKED PIGGY ROASTER.

A FARMER AT THE BORDER,

HE TRIED TO TAKE ME OUT,

I DREW MY AX WITH THE QUICKNESS,

AND CUT HIS CHICKEN FEATHERS OUT!

WALKED IN THE VILLAGE,

INTO THE PIGGY'S PLACE,

HE OPENED UP THE DOOR,

AND POPPED ME IN THE FACE!

IT BLEW ME OFF THE PORCH,

AND CRACKED MY HEAD IN HALF,

BUT I'M A JUGGALO SO IT ONLY MADE ME LAUGH!(HEHE)

FORTY IN HAND,

I ROSE FROM THE DEAD,

AND THREW WITH ALL MY MIGHT,

MADE A PIG NOISE OFF HIS HEAD.

AND SINCE WE OUT WEST,I HAD A LITTLE FUN,

AND PULLED HIS FXCKIN' TONGUE OUT THE BACK OF HIS CRANIUM!

THREE LITTLE PIGGIES,

TO MAKE A PIGGY PIE,

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE SQUEAL WHEN YOU HEAR A PIGGY CRY!

I MIGHT USE A GUN(NO)!

I MIGHT USE AN AX(YES)!

THE CARNIVAL'S IN TOWN,

COME AND GET YOUR PIGGY SNACKS!

THE SECOND LITTLE PIGGY,

HIS HOUSE IS MADE OF BRICK.

AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY IS A MOTHER FXCKIN' DICK!

HE SITS ON HIS BENCH AND GETS ALL THE RESPECT,

BUT IF I GET A CHANCE,

I'M GOING STRAIGHT FOR THE NECK!

HE WALKED IN THE ROOM,

AND EVERYBODY ROSE,

LOPPED OFF BUCKET CHILLIN' UNDERNEATH MY CLOTHES.

FIRST THEY LET THE PIGGY,

NOW YOU CAN FINALLY SIT,

BUT WHAT THIS PIGGY DON'T KNOW IS HE'S ABOUT TO GET HIS NECK WET!

NOW I SEE THE BAILIFF,

I'M THINKING WHAT THE FXCK?

I CAN SMOKE THIS ROOM BEFORE HIS HEARING AID WILL PICK ITUP!

OLD ASS MAN,

I LET HIM GET AWAY,

THAT TIRED MOTHER FXCKER PROBABLY DIE TOMORROW ANYWAY.

HERE COME THE PIGGY,

IT'S TIME FOR MY CASE,

HIS EYES ARE BLOOD RED WITH A WICKED LOOKING FACE.

HE SAW MY JOKER'S SMILE,

AND SENTENCED ME A DIME,

SO I RACKED HIM WITH THE BUCKET MADE IT FXCKIN' RAIN PORK RINDS!

THREE LITTLE PIGGIES TO MAKE A PIGGY PIE,

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE SQUEAL WHEN YOU HEAR A PIGGY CRY.

I MIGHT USE A GUN(NO)!

I MIGHT USE AN AX(YES)!

THE CARNIVAL'S IN TOWN COME AND GET YOUR PIGGY SNACKS!

THE LAST LITTLE PIGGY,

HIS HOUSE IS MADE OF GOLD.

HE LIVES IN A MANSION ON HIS OWN PRIVATE ROAD.

I STARTED WALKING DOWN IT,

THE GUARD HE TOLD ME WAIT,

I BOUNCED OFF HIS HEAD AND DID A JACKIE CHAN OVER THE GATE.

CUZ THIS LITTLE PIGGY MUST DEFINATELY FRY,

I'M A LOP HIS NUGGET OFF AND TOSS IT IN THE SKY.

THEN I WATCHED THE MOON TAKE THE FORM OF THE DEVIL,

AND PULL IT OUT THE SKY,

AND BEAT IT WITH A SHOVEL!

PEOPLE IN MY CITY,

THEY FIGHT FOR THEIR MEALS,

HE SLEEPS ON A MATTRESS STUFFED WITH HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS.

A RICHIE IS THE DEVIL,

HE NEVER REALLY MADE IT,

SO I'M A TAKE HIS MONEY STACK AND STUFF HIS FACE WITH IT!

OPENED UP HIS DOOR,

HE'S SLEEPING IN HIS BED,

I GRABBED A BRICK OF GOLD AND LAID IT UPSIDE HIS HEAD.

HE BEGGED FOR HIS LIFE,

I TOLD HIM IT'S TOO LATE,

AND TOOK AWAY HIS DOUGH AND WATCHED THE DEVIL SUFFOCATE,

CUZ I NEED THREE LITTLE PIGGIES TO MAKE A PIGGY PIE,

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE SQUEAL WHEN YOU HEAR A PIGGY CRY.

I MIGHT USE A GUN(NO)!

I MIGHT USE AN AX(YES)!

THE CARNIVAL'S IN TOWN COME AND GET YOUR PIGGY SNACKS!

(REPEAT THREE TIMES)

.......... (RRRRRING!!) "HOTLINE." "H-HELLO?" "WHATS UP?" "WHATS UP?

I'M NOT SURE THAT I WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE,THATS WHATS UP!"

"HOLD ON!!!(FAST MUSIC)HELLOOO!" "I-I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK

TO." "CALL YOUR MOM." "MY MOTHER DIED LAST YEAR." "SERVES

HER RIGHT,BITCH!HAHAHAHA!I'M JUST PLAYIN' FXCK NUTS. LISTEN,

WHENEVER YOU'RE FEELIN' LOW,JUST PAGE ME AND I'LL CALL YOU."

"YOU WILL?" "SURE...I'LL CALL YOU A NERDY BITCH! FOR BOTHERIN'

ME! NOW,DON'T BLOW YOUR FXCKIN HEAD OFF!" "WHY NOT? WHO

CARES IF I DO?" "THE POOR GUY WHOS GOTTA CLEAN THAT SHXT UP!

IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT,DO IT OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING!" "YOU

THINK I WON'T REALLY DO IT,DON'T YOU?" "HONESTLY,I COULD

GIVE A RATS ASS!" "YOU THINK I WON'T HUH? YOU THINK I'M

KIDDING? YOU THINK I'M-" "DO IT! DO IT FXCKER! BRING ME THE

GUN AND I'LL FXCKIN DO IT FOR YOU!" BOOM! "HELLO? HELLO?

ARE YOU THERE?" "H-HELLO?" "I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T DO IT,YOU

SCARY BITCH!"

HOW MANY TIMES?

HOW MANY TIMES WILL I ASK MYSELF WHY,

HOW MANY TIMES?

HOW MANY TIMES WILL I ASK MYSELF WHY,

HOW MANY TIMES WILL I CRY?

HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU HONK YOUR HORN AND SAY FXCK YOU?

NOW WHAT THE FXCK DOES THAT DO?

YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?

I DIDN'T LET YOU PASS,

HOW BOUT I STOP MY CAR AND BEAT YOUR FXCKING ASS?

HOW MANY TIMES WILL MY NEIGHBOR BEAT HIS WIFE?

SOMEWHERE IN THAT HOUSE IS A BUTCHER'S KNIFE.

FXCKIN DRUNK,SWINGING HIS FISTS ABOUT,

WHY DON'T YOU WAIT TILL HE SLLEPS AND TAKE HIM OUT?!

HOW MANY TIMES WILL I SIT IN A HOT CAR?

TRAFFIC JAM, BEEN SITTING FOR A FXCKING HOUR!

MUST BE AN ACCIDENT,I HOPE NOBODY DIED!

FINALLY GET THERE AND THE CRASH IS ON THE OTHER SIDE!

THE GAWKERS ROLL BY AND CREEP SLOW,

HOPING THEY CAN SEE A MANGLED BODY SHOW.

SOME PARK,AND STAND THERE AND WATCH IT ALL,

WITH THEIR KIDS,THEY POINT AND FXCKIN STARE!(AND JUST LOOK!)

I REMEMBER ONE TIME I WAS PULLED OVER,

HANDCUFFED,THE COP WAS LIKE,SHOW'S OVER.

PEOPLE WATCHING,HOPING THAT HE SHOOTS ME,

I JUST WANTED TO CHOKE THEIR FXCKIN HEADS!

(CHORUS 2X)

HOW MANY TIMES WILL I WAIT IN A LINE?

ITS THREE THIRTY,I FXCKIN GOT HERE AT NINE!

I'M FINALLY UP TO THE FRONT,

CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE,

WHY AM I HERE?

TO PAY A FXCKING PARKING TICKET!

THE LADY AT THE COUNTER ACTS LIKE A FXCKING BITCH,

NO SMILES,NO HELP,YOU'RE JUST A PIECE OF SHXT!

I'M GETTIN PlSSED,CALM DOWN,FXCK IT,FORGET IT,

BACK TO MY CAR AND THERE IT IS ANOTHER TICKET!

HOW MANY TIMES WILL A CRACKHEAD SMOKE CRACK?

AND ASK ME FOR MONEY CUZ HE WANTS CRACK.

GIVE HIM MONEY,AGAIN,HE'S COMING BACK,

WALK AWAY AND HERE'S ANOTHER "GIMME CRACK."

HOW MANY TIMES WILL A KID GIVE A DIRTY LOOK,

A LITTLE PUNK ASS BITCH TRYING TO BE A CROOK.

I WROTE THE BOOK, I WAS OUT ROBBING LIQUOR STORES,

WHEN YOU WERE JUST A NUT STAIN IN YOUR MAMA'S DRAWERS!

(CHORUS 2X)

HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU STEAL MY CAR STEREO?

IT DON'T EVEN WORK, YOU FEEL LIKE A BITCH DONTCHA?

I VACUUM ALL THE FXCKING GLASS OFF FROM THE SEAT,

I SIT DOWN,I GOT A PIECE STUCK IN MY BUTTCHEEK.

HOW MANY TIMES DID I WALK IN AND JUST SIT,

AND HAVE TO LISTEN AND LEARN ALL THIS BULLSHXT?

LEARNING HISTORY AND SCIENCE,

FXCKIN' WAIT,KNOWING THAT,WILL THAT PUT FOOD ON MY PLATE?

CAN I WALK INTO MCDONALD'S UP TO THE COUNTER,

AND TELL THEM YOU CAN MAKE LIMESTONE FROM GUNPOWDER,

WILL THEY GIVE ME A CHEESEBURGER IF I KNOW THAT SHXT?

FXCK NO,FXCK YOU,AND SHUT YOUR FXCKIN LIP!

HOW MANY TIMES WILL A JUDGE DECIDE MY FATE?

WHO IS HE? A BITCH,NOTHING GREAT.

HE TAKES SHXTS,AND FXCKS HIS OLD FLOPPY WIFE,

PLAYS WITH HIS BALLS AND JUDGES MY LIFE!

(AND WHO THE FXCK IS HE? HE JUDGES MY LIFE!)

(CHORUS4X)

......"DOG,I PEELS CAPS ALL DAY LONG,MUTHA FXCKA. THEY CALL ME THE

BIG WHEELER CAP PEELER,YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'? I RUN THIS

WHOLE MUTHA FXCKA. THE WHOLE BLOCK,DOG. THEY CALL ME THE

KING,THE BIG KING. KING KILLER BIG WHEELER CAP PEELER,YEAH.

THATS WHAT THEY CALL ME AROUND THIS MUTHA FXCKA. I RUN THIS

BITCH. I GOT THIS BITCH LOCKED DOWN. I'M A BIG GANG BANGA,

MAN. I'M A GANG BANGA,MUTHA FXCKA. SEE,THEY AIN'T THINK WE

WAS GANG BANGIN' OUT IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,BUT THEY DON'T

KNOW ABOUT ME AND MY CLINK,DOG. AND IF YOU ALL WANNA BE DOWN,

xxxx,WE CAN SIT DOWN AND TALK,YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?"

"BOBBY!!!!GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW AND FINISH YOUR

HOMEWORK!!!!" "UH,HERE I COME! AW,DOG,I GOTTA GO MAN. BUT

LOOK,MEET ME HERE TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL. OH WAIT,I GOT YEARBOOK.

ALRIGHT,MEET ME HERE AROUND FIVE-THIRTY TOMORROW, DOG.

ALRIGHT GUYS,PEACE.

"I HOPE HE DOESN'T GET GROUNDED, DUDE." "YEAH, CUZ THEN WE   COULDN'T BE GANG BANGERS."

SOUTHWEST VOODOO

VOODOO RUNNIN' FROM MY MAGIC

RAY-KAY-SHAY,SHOOGA-BOOGA-BA,SOUTHWEST VOODOO'S IN THE HAUGH!

WICKED VOODOO DOPED UP KILLA!

MAGIC,DARK MAGIC,YO.

MET THIS KID NAMED LOUIE-LOU,

WHO THOUGH HE COULD FXCK WITH THIS VOODOO,

SO I TURNED HIS HEAD INTO A LIMA BEAN,

AND THEN FLICKED IT OFF HIS SHOULDERS.

FROM MOOKAN HOUSE TO SHANGRI-LA,

EGYPTIAN PHAROAH,KUMPA-TA.

FOLLOW ME,AND JOIN US AS WE PRAY TO THE SEVENTEEN MOONS OF KUNGA DELRAY.

WALKED IN THE LUNCHROOM CHANTING SPELLS,

WITH BAMBOO BITCHES AND VOODOO BELLS.

GOT MY OWN FOOD,WHO WANTS SOME?

I GOT POSSUM NIPPLES AND RACOON TONGUE.

A NON-BELIEVER ONCE STARTED TO LAUGH,

SO I LAUNCHED A FIREBALL UP HIS PUNK-ASS.

THEN EVERYBODY HEARD HIM SQUEAL,"

THIS VOODOO SHXT'S FOR REAL!"

IT JUST TAKES..

A HEAD FROM A NEWT,

A WING FROM A BAT,

A TONGUE FROM A SNAKE,

A TAIL FROM A RAT,

A NECK FROM A CHICKEN,

AN EYE FROM A CROW,

AND A LITTLE ITTY-BITTY ITTY DRIP OF FAYGO!!

(CHORUS 2X)

GRIPPED OUT VERNOR ON A WINDY NIGHT,

YOU SEE VOODOO SCRIBBLINS IN THE MOONLIGHT.

PAINTED ALL ON THE CITY STREETS,

ITS THE ANCIENT CRAFT OF GANG BANGIN'!

HEY J! WHATS IN THE BAG?

A SHRUNKEN HEAD AND SHRIVELED SCROTUM SAC!

WHY,YOU THINK VOODOO'S FAKE?

COME TO THE GRAVEYARD,I'LL MAKE THE DEAD WAKE!

RAISE,RAISE,SHOGGA-BOOM-BA,SLEEP NO LONGER,RAISE QUICK!

RAISE, RAISE,SHOOGA-BOOM-BA..."LEAVE US ALONE YOU FXCKING PUNK BITCH!"

WELL,FXCK IT,I AIN'T THAT GOOD YET,

BUT ONE DAY YOU CAN BET I'M A FREAK!

WE'LL MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD DANCE WITH THE DEAD,

AND JUST LIKE MY HOMEY SAID,

IT ONLY TAKES-

(PRE CHORUS)

(CHORUS2X)

VOODOO,RUNNIN FROM MY MAGIC

VOODOO,RUNNIN FROM MY MAGIC

VOODOO,RUNNIN FROM MY MAGIC

I'LL MAKE A VOODOO DOLL OF YA,AND FLICK YOUR NUTS!

(PRECHORUS2X)(CHORUS2X)

.......... "AND NOW,THE FLYING FRITZ BROTHERS..." "OOOOOOOoooooo....

Ahhhhhhhh.....Ohhhhh....UH!AH!AHHHHHHH!!!" splat.

HALLS OF ILLUSIONS

TICKET PLEASE,THANKS!

WALK THROUGH THE DOORS,

INTO THE HALLS OF ILLUSIONS,VISIT YOURS.

AND SEE WHAT COULDA AND SHOULDA AND WOULDA BEEN REAL,

BUT YOU HAD TO FXCK UP THE WHOLE DEAL!

LETS TAKE A WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY,

ITS A LONG WAY, TAKES ALL DAY.

AND WHEN WE GET TO THE END YOU'LL FIND A CHAIR WITH STRAPS AND CHAINS,

WE SLAP YOU IN THERE!

LOCK YOU DOWN TIGHT SO YOU CAN'T MOVE A THREAD,

AND PULL YOUR EYELIDS UP OVER YOUR HEAD,

CUZ YOU'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS AN ILLUSIONARY DREAM,

ITS JUST TOO BAD IT AIN'T WHAT IT SEEMS!

YOU WALK IN AND SEE TWO KIDS ON THE FLOOR,

THY'RE PLAYIN NINTENDO AND HE'S GOT THE HIGH SCORE.

AND SITTIN BEHIND THEM CHILLIN IN THE CHAIR IS YOUR WIFE WHEN YOU LOOK,OH YOU AIN'T THERE!

ITS SOME OTHER MAN AND THEY'RE HAND IN HAND HOW SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,

SEE THIS IS AN ILLUSION,

IT NEVER CAME TRUE...ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!

BACK TO REALITY AND WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT,

YOUR WIFE CAN'T SMILE CUZ YOU KNOCKED HER TEETH OUT!

AND SHE CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT FROM GETTIN HIT,

CUZ YOU'RE A FAT FXCKIN' DRUNK PIECE OF SHXT!

BUT ITS ALL GOOD,HERE,COME HAVE A BEER!

I'LL BREAK THE TOP OFF IT,AND SHOVE IT IN YOUR EAR!

AND YOUR DEATH COMES WICKED PAINFUL AND SLOW,

AT THE HANDS OF MILENKO!

GREAT MILENKO WAVE YOUR WAND

DON'T LOOK NOW YOUR LIFE IS GONE

THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO

LOOK WHOS NEXT,ITS MR.CLARK,

THE DIRTY OLD MAN FROM THE TRAILER PARK.

YOU GOT YOUR TICKET? THANKS!

TAKE YOUR COAT OFF,AND LATER ON,WHY NOT?

I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OFF!

LETS TAKE A WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY,

ITS A LONG WAY,

TAKES ALL DAY!

AND WHEN YOU GET TO THE END,

YOU'LL FIND A CHAIR,YOU SEE ALL THE BLOOD,

YEAH,YOUR BOY WAS JUST HERE!

WE GET ALL DIFFERENT KINDA PEOPLE COMING THROUGH,

RICHIES,CHICKENS,AND BITCHES JUST LIKE YOU!

IN THE HALLS,EVERYBODY GETS A TURN,

TO SIT AND WITNESS YOUR ILLUSION BEFORE YOU BURN!

WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE,OH DEAR,NO WAY,

IT LOOKS LIKE THE KIDS AND THEY OK!

YOUR DAUGHTERS CHILLEN UP IN COLLEGE,TOP GRADE,

AND YOUR SONS A FXCKIN DOCTOR,FAT PAID!

THEY GOT FAMILIES AND KIDS AND ITS ALL GOOD,

THEY EVEN COACH LITTLE LEAGUE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

IS THIS TRUE,HAVE YOU REALLY SEEN THE HOLY GHOST?

NAW,BITCH,NOT EVEN CLOSE!

BACK TO REALITY,YOUR SONS ON CRACK,

AND YOUR DAUGHTERS GOT NUT STAINS ON HER BACK!

AND THEY BOTH FXCKIN SMELL LIKE SHXT,

AND LIVE IN THE GUTTER,

AND SELL CRACK TO EACH OTHER!

WHEN THEY WERE KIDS YOU'D BEAT EM' AND LEAVE EM' HOME,

AND EVEN WHIP EM' WITH THE CORD OF THE TELEPHONE!

AND THAT REMINDS ME MAN,

HEY YOU GOT A CALL..

WATCH YOUR STEP TO HELL,ITS A LONG FALL!!!

GREAT MILENKO WAVE YOUR WAND

DON'T LOOK NOW YOUR LIFE IS GONE

THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO

(REPEAT)

AW..ITS TIME TO PACK UP AND MOVE TO THE NEXT TOWN,

BUT WE FORGOT MR.BIGOT,OK DIG IT,

WE CAN'T SHOW YOU AN ILLUSION CUZ WE'RE ALL PACKED,

BUT,I'LL STILL CUT YOUR NECK OUT,

HOWS THAT?

GREAT MILENKO WAVE YOUR WAND

DON'T LOOK NOW YOUR LIFE IS GONE

THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO

(REPEAT 3X)

UNDER THE MOON

I'M STILL HERE..UNDER THE MOON..

I WAS JUST A CHILD BUT YOU SEEMED LIKE SO MUCH MORE,

THE WAY YOU WOULD APPROACH ME AND DRIFT ACROSS THE FLOOR.

I'D SEE YOU IN THE HALL AND YOU'D KISS ME WITH A SMILE,

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT,

WAS I EVEN WORTH YOUR WHILE?

THE OTHER KIDS IN SCHOOL,

THEY WOULD HATE ME AND THEY'D SPIT,

CUZ I WAS JUST A NO ONE,

TO THEM I WASN'T SHXT.

BUT YOU WOULD ALWAYS HOLD ME AND STAND THERE BY MY SIDE,

WE WERE ONLY 17 WE'D BE TOGETHER TILL WE DIED.

BUT THEN IT ALL HAPPENED,

THE EVER DREADFUL DAY,

SOMEBODY TRIED TO RAPE YOU AND I WILL MAKE HIM PAY!

YOU POINTED HIM OUT TO ME,

MY THOUGHTS BEGAN TO RACE,

I TOOK MY DADDY'S 45 AND SHOT HIM IN THE FXCKING FACE!

I DID IT ALL FOR YOU,

AND NOW I'M FACING YEARS,

I WOULD DO THE TIME JUST TO EQUAL ALL YOUR TEARS.

THE LAST THING THAT YOU TOLD ME WHEN I LEFT THE COURTROOM IS

THAT WE'D ALWAYS BE TOGETHER CUZ WE'RE BOTH UNDER THE MOON.

"I'LL FOREVER LOVE YOU,

EVEN IN YOUR DOOM,

WE'LL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER CUZ WE'RE BOTH UNDER THE MOON."

I SIT HERE IN MY CELL AND THE WALLS ARE MADE OF STONE,

I JUSTIFIED YOUR PAIN NOW I SIT ALONE.

I WRITE ANOTHER LETTER,

I WRITE ONE EVERYDAY,

I NEVER GOT A LETTER BACK,

I WRITE THEM ANYWAY.

I TRY TO CALL COLLECT,

YOUR NUMBER HAS BEEN CHANGED,

I'M STARING AT THE LIGHT BULB AND I START TO FEEL DERANGED.

YOU NEVER CAME TO VISIT ME,

I SIT FACING THE GLASS,

NO ONE'S ON THE OTHER SIDE AND NOW ITS IN THE PAST.

MY HEAD IS ALWAYS SPINNING,

I'M POUNDING ON THE WALL,

I FEEL LIKE I'M FORGOTTEN,

NO SIGN OF YOU AT ALL.

YOU'RE PROBLY GETTING MARRIED,

YOU'RE PROBLY GETTING FXCKED,

I'LL BREAK OUT OF THIS CAGE AND TRY TO CUT THAT MUTHAFXCKER UP!

CURL UP IN THE CORNER,

MY BODY WILL CORRODE,

MY TEETH ARE TURNING INTO DUST,

MY SKIN IS GROWING MOLD.

I'M STARIN' OUT THE WINDOW OF MY ETERNAL DOOM.

I KNOW THAT YOU ARE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE UNDERNEATH THE MOON.

"I'LL FOREVER LOVE YOU,

EVEN IN YOUR DOOM,

WE'LL ALWAYS BE

TOGETHER CUZ WE'RE BOTH UNDER THE MOON."

MANY MANY YEARS MANY MORE TO GO,

DOES SHE STILL REMEMBER?

GOD HE ONLY KNOWS,

I NOW BECOME A SAVAGE,

THEY CHAIN ME TO A WALL,

I STILL CAN SEE YOUR BODY,

I CAN STILL HEAR YA CALL,

I'M NOTHIN BUT A MAGGOT,

I'M LOCKED AWAY AND LOST,

THE WORLD THAT DOESN'T WANT ME,

MY DIGNITY IS TOSSED.

AND TO THE GIRL FOR WHO I FEEL THIS DOOM,

LOOK HERE...FXCK YOU AND THE MOON!!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

LET ME THINK FOR A SECOND.

OH,HE GETS BUTT-NAKED.

AND THEN HE WALKS THROUGH THE STREETS WINKING AT FREAKS,

WITH A TWO-LITER STUCK IN HIS BUTTCHEEKS.

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

HE JUST DON'T CARE.

HE MIGHT TRY TO PUT A WEAVE IN HIS NUT HAIR.

CUZ HE COULD CARE LESS WHAT A BITCH THINKS,

HE TELL HER THAT HER BUTT STINKS, AND ALL THAT.

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

HE DRINKS LIKE A FISH,

AND THEN HE STARTS HUGGING PEOPLE LIKE A DRUNK BITCH.

NEXT THING HE'S PICKING FIGHTS WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS,

THEN HE STARTS WITH THE HUGGING AGAIN-SHXT!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

A FXCKING LUNATIC,

SOMEBODY WITH A ROPE TIED TO HIS DICK.

THEN HE JUMPS OUT A TEN STORY WINDOW.....OH!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

A JUGGALO. ASK WHAT IT IS WELL FXCK IF I KNOW!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

I DON'T KNOW,BUT I'M DOWN WITH THE CLOWN AND I'M DOWN FOR LIFE, YO!

SOUTHWEST? WE JUGGALOS.

DOWN RIVER? WE JUGGALOS.

JEFFERSON? WE JUGGALOS.

FXCKN EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS.

I'M THE JUGGALUGGALUGGERONI.

GET THE FXCK UP,GET THE FXCK OUT OF HERE!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

A DEAD BODY.

WELL HE AIN'T REALLY DEAD BUT HE AIN'T LIKE ANYTHING THAT YOU'VE EVER MET BEFORE.

HE'LL EAT MONOPOLY AND SHXT OUT CONNECT FOUR!

WHAT IS A JUGG..?

WHAT THE FXCK?

MAN THAT SHXT IS WHACK.

DON'T WORRY BOUT MY SHXT,

JUST RAP MUTHAFXCKER!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

HE AIN'T A BITCH BOY,

HE'LL WALK THROUGH THE HILLS AND BEAT DOWN A RICH BOY.

WALKS RIGHT UP IN THE HOUSE WHILE YOU'RE HAVING SUPPER,

AND DIPS HIS NUTS IN YOUR SOUP...OOP!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

WELL HE AIN'T A PHONEY,

HE'LL WALK UP AND BUST A NUT IN YOUR MACARONI,

AND WATCH YOU SIT THERE AND FINISH UP THE LAST BIT,

CUZ YOU'RE A STUPID ASS DUMB FXCKIN IDIOT!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

HE'S A GRADUATE.

HE GRADUATED FROM...WELL,

AT LEAST HE'S GOT A JOB,

HES NOT A DUMB PUTZ,

HE WORKS FOR HIMSELF SCRATCHIN HIS NUTS,HA!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO?

A HULKAMANIAC.

HE POWER BOMBS MUTHAFXCKERS INTO THUMBTACKS.

PEOPLE LIKE HIM TILL THEY FIND OUT HE'S UNSTABLE.

HE SABU'D YOUR MAMA THROUGH A COFFEE TABLE.

(CHORUS 3X)

DETROIT? WE JUGGALOS!

CLEVELAND? WE JUGGALOS!

ST.LOUIE? WE JUGGALOS!

EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!

EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!

EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!

FXCKIN' EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!

EVERYBODY? WE JUGGALOS!

WHAT IS A JUGGALO???

HOUSE OF HORRORS

"HEY THERE! DO YOU LIKE EXCITEMENT?""YEAH.""DO YOU LIKE SUSPENSE?"

"YEAH.""DO YOU LIKE NELL CARTER?""TST-NO!""GOOD,CUZ YOU WON'T

FIND HER HERE. THIS IS THE HOUSE OF HORRORS. AND FOR YOU ITS

ABSOLUTELY FREE,STEP RIGHT IN.""THANKS.""SAY NO MORE STUPID

ASS,YOUR BREATH SAYS ENOUGH."

ITS SO DARK.

DON'T LOSE ME.

C'MON,I FOUND A DOOR.

WABUGA-WOO WA!!

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS!

YOU BORN IN A BARN?

SHUT THE FXCKING DOORS!

AND SIT DOWN,

CUZ I'M ABOUT TO SCARE YOU...Bbbbbblblblblb,

OK NOW I DARE YOU,

CLOSE YOUR EYES OPEN UP YOUR MOUTH AND COUNT TO TEN.

DON'T WANNA,HUH,

CUZ YOU KNOW MY NUTS ARE GOING IN!

I'M TWISTED,

I'LL CUT YOUR FINGER OFF AND STICK IT IN YOUR BUTT

OOOUUUUHHHH,

AND GLUE IT SHUT!

THIS IS WHEN I GET CRAZY,

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING,Bbbbbb!

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

IT DON'T MEAN NOTHING,HE HE!

BUT IT SCARED YOU CUZ PEOPLE DON'T BE DOING THAT SHXT,

BUT ME,Bbbbb,

BITCH,Bbbbb,

I'M ALL ABOUT IT!

GUESS WHAT?

I'M A SERIAL KILLER ITS A BAD HABIT!

I KILLED TONY,LUCKY CHARMS,AND THE SILLY RABBIT,UH!

CUT THE LIGHTS OFF,

SEE THAT SHXT,

I'M GLOWIN',

ALRIGHT I'M DONE,

CUT EM' BACK ON,

WAIT WHERE YOU GOING?

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS!

COMES FROM WITHIN ME,ME,ME

COMES FROM WITHIN ME,HORRORS,HEY

COMES FROM WITHIN ME,ME,ME

COME TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS,HEY

(REPEAT CHORUS)

HONEY,I'M NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME. I KNOW,C'MON,THIS MUST BE

THE WAY OUT.

HEY WHAT THE FXCK,

COME HERE GUYS,

GRAB A CHAIR.

DON'T MIND ME DRINKING MY BEER IN MY UNDERWEAR.

C'MON,LETS PLAY SOME CARDBACK,

I JUST GOTTA STORY!

"HEY KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE SHAGS,

WHAT THE HELL?"

SORRY!

LOOK AT THAT SHXT!(WHAT?)

YOU ALMOST GOT ME GROUNDED!

I'M A HAFTA TAKE YOUR FOREHEAD AND POUND IT!

I'LL BEND YOU OVER,

AND TIE YOU UP TO A POLE,

AND STRETCH YOUR NUTS BACK AND FLING EM UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!

I'M A PHANTOM,

LISTEN TO ME,AhHhH,

THAT DIDN'T DO IT?

HOW BOUT THIS? AHHHHHHH!

I'M SO SCARY THEY CALL ME JOEY TERRIFYING!

DID YOU KNOW THAT?(YEAH)

NO YOU DIDN'T I WAS LYING!

I REPRESENT IGORS,

I'M YELLING IN TOWN,

I'M COMING OUT OF SOUTHWEST,

WICKED CLOWNS!!

BATHROOM? SURE!

ITS RIGHT THERE DOWN THE HALL!

DON'T FLUSH IT THOUGH,

I'LL MAKE DINNER FOR YOU ALL,AMUCK,NAYA,BAAA,

BUT THATS TWO,

WAIT A MINUTE,

HEY DON'T LEAVE ME YET,HEY!

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS!

(CHORUS2X)

HONEY? WHAT? I'M S-SCARED. I KNOW SWEETIE,COME ON!

JUMP STEADY,NATE THE MACK,LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

WITH BILLY BILL AND RUDE BOY,(WHAT ABOUT EM?)

NOTHIN!

THEY'RE MY BOYS,

I JUST HAD TO GIVE EM PROPS!

AND TOGETHER WE FORM THE CYCLOPS!

HEHEHEHEHE LOOK AT YOU,

HEHE,YOU'RE A BITCH!

SHOULD I LET YOUR ASS GO?

HAHAHAHA-NO!

I'LL LET YOUR BITCH OUT,

BUT YOU GET THE BONE!

RUN ALONG SUGAR TITS HE AIN'T COMING HOME!

"DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YOU, BITCH!!"

BOOGIE WOOGIE WOO

THE BEAST LIVES,OUT OF THE RAGING STORM,IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. THE

RAVENOUS BLOOD SICK CREATURE SEARCHES FOR ITS SACRIFICE. THROUGH

THE HIDEOUS DARKNESS IT LURCHES,DRIVEN BY DEATH ITSELF. ONLY

THE SATISFACTION OF SLAUGHTER WILL CAUSE IT TO RETURN TO THE

DARKNESS FROM WHICH IT CAME.

BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO...(2X)

BOYS AND GIRLS,ITS NIGHTY NIGHT TIME!

HAPPY J THE CLOWN HAS A NURSERY RHYME,

ITS ABOUT THE BOOGIE WOOGIE MAN,

KEEP YOUR LIGHT ON AS LONG AS YOU CAN!

CUZ WHEN IT CUTS OFF,

SO DOES YOUR HEAD,

BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WAITS UNDER YOUR BED WITH A SHANK,

SPLAHH, UP THROUGH THE BOTTOM!

LITTLE JIMMY JIMMY,

UUUHHHH,GOT HIM!

ITS THE ONE AND ONLY BOOGIE MAN!

HE CREEPS,HE HIDES,HE SNEAKS,HE SLIDES

IF YOUR LITTLE FEETSIES ARE HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED,

YOU'RE RUNNING ON STUBS,MOTHER FXCKER!!

WELL,MOONLIGHT FILLS THE ROOM THAT YOU SLEEP IN,

THINGS GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT,ME CREEPIN.

OUCH! FXCK,I STUBBED MY TOE!

IF YOU'D JUST QUIT LEAVING YOUR SHXT ALL OVER THE FXCKING FLOOR!

WELL FXCK IT,

YOU'RE DEAD ANYWAY,

AND I'MA LEAVE YOUR HEAD SMACK DEAD IN THE HALLWAY.

IN THE MORNING WHEN YOUR DADDY WALKS OUT,AHHHHH!

HIS FOOTS IN YOUR MOUTH THANKS TO THE BOOGIE MAN!

BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO!(4X)

DOES THE BOOGIE MAN REALLY EXIST?

WELL IS YOUR MOTHER A BALD HEADED FREAK BITCH-YES!

YOU FALL ASLEEP AND WAKE UP DEAD WITH A BROKEN BROOM STICKING OUT YOUR FOREHEAD!

I SING LULLABIES,

TILL YOU DOZE OFF,

TIE YOU DOWN AND CHEW YOUR FXCKIN TOES OFF,

AND THEN SPIT EM OUT BACK IN YOUR FACE...SPPPEWWAAA.

FXCK,WASH YOUR FEET BITCH!

THE WORLD'S FAMOUS BOOGIE WOOGIE WOO WILL COME TO YOU

...SLUMBER PARTIES,SLEEPOVERS,INTIMATE NIGHTS,

WHATEVER THE OCCASION FOR THE MIDNIGHT HOUR,

HE WILL GLADLY COME AND FXCK THAT SHXT UP!

I DON'T BEAT WOMEN,FXCK THAT,

I'M ABOVE IT.

BUT I'LL CUT HER FXCKIN NECK AND THINK NOTHING OF IT!

YOU DIDN'T KNOW THE BOOGIE MAN WAS A CLOWN,

BUT WHEN YOU SEE THE JUGGLA YOU HOLDING YOUR JUGULAR.

WITH A SWING,CHOP,STAB,SWING,CHOP,

YOU HOLDING YOUR NECK TOGETHER,

BUT YOUR NUTS DROP.

AND THE COPS DO THE BEST THEY CAN,

THEY PULL THE AXE OUT YOUR FACE AND SAY"WAS IT THE BOOGIE MAN?

"WHAT WAS HE WEARING?"

BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO....

PLEASE DON'T LET ME FALL ASLEEP,

CUZ THE BOOGIE MAN WILL CREEP,

THROUGH MY WINDOW IN MY ROOM,

STAB ME WITH A BROKEN BROOM.

PLEASE DON'T LET ME FALL ASLEEP,

CUZ THE BOOGIE MAN WILL CREEP,

THROUGH MY WINDOW IN MY ROOM,

STAAAHHH...BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!!

IT'S THE INCREDIBLE,

UNDEADABLE BOOGIE MAN!

GO AHEAD,PULL THE COVERS OVER YOUR HEAD,

HIDE UNDER EM,HE DON'T GIVE A FXCK!

IT'LL JUST MAKE IT THAT MUCH EASIER FOR HIM TO SUFFOCATE YOUR FACE!

THERE'S THREE WAYS TO STOP ME FROM DOING WHAT I DO...

WHAT? YOU THINK I'M GONNA TELL YOU?

"MOM,CAN YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN A BIT?"

THANKS! AN EASY WAY IN YOU FXCKING IDIOT!

NOW I STRETCH YOUR NECK OUT AND PLAY IT LIKE A BANJO,

BOOM, DARM,BOOM,DARM,

LIKE THAT SHXT YO?

THEN I STRETCH IT OUT AND FLING YOUR HEAD THROUGH THE WALL,

IT'S THE BOOGIE MAN Y'ALL!

BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE WOO!

THE NEDEN GAME

LETS MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE. HE'S A SKITSOFRANIC,SERIAL

KILLER CLOWN WHO SAYS WOMEN LOVE HIS SEXY SMILE. LETS FIND OUT

IF HIS CHARM WILL WORK ON SHARON. SHARON,WHATS YOUR QUESTION?

"CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE,I BELIEVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS LAST FOREVER,

SO LETS SAY YOU WERE TO COME OVER TO MY PARENTS' HOUSE TO HAVE

DINNER WITH ME AND MY FAMILY. TELL ME.WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO MAKE

THAT FIRST IMPRESSION REALLY STICK?"

LETS SEE.

HMM,WELL I'D HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

I MIGHT SHOW UP IN A TUX-HA!

BUT I DOUBT IT!

I'D PROBLY JUST SHOW UP NAKED LIKE I ALWAYS DO,

AND LOOK YOUR MAMA IN THE EYE AND TELL HER FXCK YOU!!!

HURRY UP BITCH,I'M HUNGRY,I SMELL SPAGHETTI.

I'D PINCH HER LOOPY ASS AND TELL HER GET THE FOOD READY!

YOUR DAD WOULD PROBLY START TRIPPING AND GET ME PlSSED,

I'D HAVE TO WALK UP AND BUST HIM IN HIS FXCKING LIPS!

IT'S DINNER TIME,

WE'RE HEARING GRACE FROM YOUR MOTHER,

I'D PULL A FORTY OUT AND POUR SOME FOR YOUR LITTLE BROTHER.

I'M STEADY STARING AT YOUR SISTER,

I'LL TELL YOU THIS,

YOU KNOW FOR ONLY 13 SHE GOT SOME BIG TITS!

AFTER THAT, YOUR DAD WOULD TRY TO JUMP AGAIN,

AND ONLY THIS TIME I'LL PUT THE FORTY TO HIS CHIN.

AFTER YOUR MOM DOES THE DISHES AND THE SILVERWARE,

I'D TRY TO FXCK HER TILL I NUT IN MY UNDERWEAR.

NOW LETS MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO. HE'S A PSYCHOPATHIC,

DERANGED CRACKHEAD FREAK WHO WORKS FOR THE DARK CARNIVAL. HE

SAYS WOMEN CALL HIM STRETCH NUTS. SHARON,LETS HEAR YOUR QUESTION.

"I LIKE A MAN WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO SHOW HIS TRUE EMOTIONS,A MAN WHO

EXPRESSES HIMSELF IN HIS OWN SPECIAL WAY. NUMBER TWO,IF YOU WERE

TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME,EXACTLY HOW WOULD YOU LET ME KNOW?"

FIRST THING,I COULD NEVER LOVE YOU!

YOU SOUND LIKE A RICHY BITCH,

YO FXCK YOU!

BUT IF I DID,I'D PROBLY SHOW YOU THAT I CARE,

BY TAKING ALL THESE MOTHER FXCKERS OUTTA HER!

I'D GO THROUGH YOUR PHONE BOOK AND WHACK EM ALL,

I'D FIND CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE AND BREAK HIS FXCKIN JAW!(WHAT?!)

ANYONE WHO LOOKED AT YOU WOULD HAVE TO PAY.

I'D BE BLOWING FXCKING NUGGETS OFF ALL DAY!

I'D GRAB YOUR TITTIES AND STRETCH EM DOWN PAST YOUR WASTE.

LET EM GO AND WATCH EM BOTH SPRING UP IN YOUR FACE!

I'D SING LOVE SONGS TO YOU THE BEST I CAN,

GET YOU NAKED AND HIT IT LIKE A CAVEMAN!

WHEN WE GO TO THE BEACH AND WALK THROUGH THE SAND,

I'D THROW A LITTLE IN YOUR FACE AND SAY "I'M JUST PLAYIN" AS YOU SPIT IT ALL OUT,

I RUB YOUR BACK,

AND GRAB YOUR UNDERWEAR AND WEDGE IT UP YOUR ASSCRACK!

WELL,IT SOUNDS LIKE CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO IS JUST OVERFLOWING WITH

SENSITIVITY SHARON! ITS A TOUGH CHOICE SO FAR! SHARON,LETS HEAR

YOUR LAST QUESTION AND SEE WHICH ONE IS GOING TO WIN THE RIGHTS TO

YOUR NEDEN.

"OKAY.IF WE WERE AT A DANCE CLUB,AND YOU BOTH NOTICED ME AT THE SAME

TIME,TELL ME,HOW WOULD YOU EACH GET MY ATTENTION AND WHAT WOULD

YOUR PICKUP LINE BE? WHOEVERS THE SMOOTHEST WINS!"

OKAY,

FIRST,I'D SLIDE UP TO THE BAR,

AND TELL YOU THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FXCKIN PHAT YOU ARE!

I'D TELL YOU THAT I LIKE THE WAY YOU MAKE YOUR TITTIES SHAKE,

AND IF YOU LOST A LITTLE WEIGHT YOU'D LOOK LIKE RICKI LAKE!

FXCK THAT!

YOU'D BE JOCKING ME QUICK!

I'D ORDER YOU A DRINK,

AND STIR IT WITH MY DICK!

AND TO GET YOUR ATTENTION IN A CROWDED PLACE,

I'D SIMPLY WALK UP AND STICK MY NUTS IN YOUR FACE!

YEAH,FREAK HER WITH YOUR NUTS YO THAT'LL GET HER!

TELL HER THATS SHES FAT,YEAH,THAT'LL WORK EVEN BETTER!

LOOK,FXCK YOU,

I GOT A STRONG RAP,SHXT,

YOU DON'T WANT CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO,

HE'S MAD WHACK!

I WALKED INTO A BARN AND THERE HE WAS,

STANDING UP ON A BUCKET,

EEWWA,TRYING TO FXCK IT!

IT WAS A BIG FXCKING SMELLY ASS FARM LLAMA!

DAMN DOG! HOW YOU GONNA DIS YOUR MAMA???

HALLALUJAH

"GIVE GOD THE FIRST PORTION OF YOUR INCOME,SAY THAT WITH ME."

"GIVE GOD THE FIRST PORTION OF YOUR INCOME."

"GIVE IT FIRST! NOT AFTER THE DEDUCTS,NOT AFTER THE SOCIAL

SECURITY,HOSPITALIZATION,AND THE MALNUTRITION. NOT AFTER ALL

THESE THINGS ON YA CHECK,YA SAY "I'M GONNA GIVE GOA A LITTLE

OF WHAT'S LEFT." YOU DO,AND THATS WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET FROM GOD."

WHO AM I?

I'M NOT THE DEVIL,

I CAN TAKE YOU TO MY LEVEL,

ABOVE THE ROCKS,

ABOVE THE EARTH,

TELL ME WHAT YOUR SOUL IS WORTH.

HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?

HOW MUCH WILL YOU LET ME TAKE?

I WILL GIVE YOU TRANQUILITY,

JUST SEND YOUR WEALTH AND CHECKS TO ME.

LIFE IS GOING TO EXPIRE,

AND YOUR SOUL WILL BURN IN FIRE.

YOU WILL PERISH IN THE THUNDER UNLESS YOU CALL MY HOTLINE NUMBER.

GOD HAS ASKED YOU TO MAKE ME RICH,

ME AND MY FAT WHACK GAUDY BITCH.

ON YOUR TV'S LATE AT NIGHT,

SEND THOSE CHECKS AND I'LL GUIDE YOU TO THE LIGHT.

"DON'T PUT AWAY YOUR WALLETS JUST YET BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

THERE'S SOMEBODY HERE I'D LIKE ALL OF YOU TO MEET,THIS IS LITTLE

JONATHAN. JONATHAN,SAY HELLO TO THE LOVELY PEOPLE."

"HELLO."

"JONATHAN HAS PROBLEMS-TWISTED NECK,TANGLED LEGS,CROOKED SPINE-

BUT WE CAN HEAL THIS BOY! FOR JUST SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS WE CAN

HEAL THIS BOY!"

GOD CALLED ME AND STOPPED BY,

AND HE TOLD ME YOU'RE GONNA DIE,

UNLESS YOU BUY MY HOLY WATER,

CHECK,CASH,OR A MONEY ORDER.

THIS IS TRUE DON'T QUESTION ME,

I'LL EVEN SEND YOU SHXT FOR FREE.

IT'S ONLY TEN BUCKS FOR THE CALL,

AND I'LL SEND A PRAYER,

NO CHARGE AT ALL!

PUT YOUR LIPS UP TO THE SCREEN,

CLOSE YOUR EYELIDS AND INTERVENE,

YOUR LIPS TO MINE,

NOW SEND THE CASH,

AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!

TAKE YOUR PAYCHECK AND SEND ME HALF,

AND I'LL SEND YOU GOD'S AUTOGRAPH.

I'LL GET YOU ALLAH'S AND BUDDAH'S TOO,

EVEN ZEUS,I DON'T GIVE A FXCK WHO,

JUST SEND ME THAT MONEY!

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE HEALED LITTLE JONATHAN?"

"YESH,REVERAND."

"YOU SEE,BROTHERS AND SISTERS,THIS-" BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!

"EXCUSE ME,I TOLD YOU NEVER TO PAGE ME ON A SERMON DAY. YES?

UH-HUH. HALLELUJAH. HOWDY. PEOPLE,THAT WAS THE LORD,TODAY ONLY

HE WILL HEAL THIS BOY FOR JUST FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!"

PASS THE COLLECTION PLATE(4X)

(SHOW ME HOW YOU GIVE,I'LL TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE)

YOUR TOTALS TWENTY-TWO ELEVEN,

THROW YOUR SET OF KEYS TO HEAVEN.

MAKE THE CHECKS OUT IN MY NAME,

ME OR GOD,ITS ALL THE SAME.

BRING YOUR CRIPPLED ASS TO ME,

PAY MY USHER THE HOLY FEE.

I'LL BLESS YOUR LEGS,

AND BLESS YOUR CHAIR,

THEN WHEEL YOUR BITCH ASS OUTTA HERE!

NOW A SPECIAL CEREMONY,

THIS PART DON'T COST ANY MONEY,

DRINK A DROP OF BLESSED WATER,

NOW I FERTILIZE YOUR DAUGHTER!

EVEN THOUGH I FXCKED A HOOKER,

TOOK A BABY GIRL AND SHOOK HER,

YOU'LL STILL BUY ANYTHING I SELL,

AND I'LL BE LIVING WELL,SEE YOU IN HELL!

"FOUR THOUDANS EIGHT HUNDRED,NINE HUNDRED,FIVE THOUSAN-

HALLELUJAH! YOU DID IT BROTHERS AND SISTERS! ARE YOU READY

JONATHAN? LORD ALMIGHTY,WE'VE MET YOUR PRICE,GIVE ME THE HEALING

POWER I CAN FEEL IT LORD! RUMILUMIMAMANAMANOOMI! THIS BOY IS

HEALED!"

"REAWY??"

"NOW,TO THE NAKED EYE IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THIS BOY HAS NOT BEEN

HEALED! BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU,THIS BOY'S SPIRIT HAS BEEN HEALED!

INSIDE THIS TANGLED,MANGLED FRAME IS A HEALED LITTLE BOY. HIS

SPIRIT IS HEALED! HALLELUJAH!"

.......... COUNTRY COOKIN CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER? YOU WANT THE RED EYE GRAVY

WITH THAT? WITH CHITLINS OR BLACK EYED PEAS? LEMME CYPHER UP

YOUR BILL HERE....THAT COMES TO FOURTEEN NINETY-FIVE. OKAY,

THAT'LL BE READY QUICKER THAN TWO JIGGLES OF A JACKRABBIT'S   ASS!

DOWN WITH THE CLOWN

THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE NINJAS THATS BEEN DOWN SINCE CARNIVAL

OF CARNAGE...NAW FXCK THAT,SINCE DOGBEATS,NAW FXCK THAT,SINCE

BASEMENT CUTS,MOTHAFXCKA!!!

HOW LONG WILL THE JUGGALOS BE DOWN WITH ME?

HOW LONG TILL THEY FORGET ME, CHECK IT OUT.

WHAT IF I GREW ANOTHER FXCKING HEAD,

AND HIS NAME WAS VIOLENT ED?

AND HE HEADBUTT ME EVERYTIME I CUSSED,

I WOULD NEED TWO MICROPHONES WHEN I BUST.

WOULD YOU SHOW ME LOVE EVEN WITH ANOTHER HEAD?

OR WOULD YOU BE LIKE "FXCK YOU AND ED!"

OR WHAT IF I SOLD OUT LIKE A BITCH,

AND TOOK THE MAKEUP OFF AND WENT SOFT?

CALLED MYSELF DETROIT'S SOUTHWEST LOVER,

AND PUT MY UGLY ASS FACE ON THE ALBUM COVER.

WITH R&B'S TOP TEN HIT,

AND WE HAD JODECI SINGIN ALL OVER OUR SHXT(AHHHHHH!)

FXCK THAT THOUGH,YO,

I'M A JUGGALO!

SO DON'T FORGET ME LIKE YOU DID WITH MENUDO!

WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE WORLD'S LIKE FXCK US KILL US??

WHAT WILL YOU BE? DOWN!

WHAT ABOUT WHEN I'M A HUNDRED AND THREE?

WHAT WILL YOU BE? DOWN! DOWN!

WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE WORLD'S LIKE FXCK US KILL US?

WHAT WILL YOU BE?? DOWN!

WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE CARNIVAL COMES TO YOUR TOWN???

I'MA BE DOWN WITH THE CLOWN!!

HOW LONG WILL YOU BE DOWN WITH A GHETTO PUPPET?

I SAY I'M SICK IN THE NUGGET AND YOU LOVE IT!

I ATE A DEAD BODY,

I AIN'T PROUD OF IT.

I TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT AND YOU ALL APPLAUDED!

I GOT PROBLEMS I'M HAUNTED BY A CARNIVAL,

I COULD FIND AND TELL A DOCTOR BUT WHAT FOR?

I JUST PUT IT ON TAPE WITH A FAT BEAT,

AND MAKE A QUICK BUCK,I'M LIKE FXCK!!

I COULDA CAME OUT SPORTIN SOME HAMMER PANTS,

KICK STEPPIN WITH SHAGGS AND TRYIN TO DANCE.

MAKE YOUR MOM HAPPY KEEPIN IT SOFT,

I'D RATHER GRAB MY DICK AND TELL YOUR MOM TO FXCK OFF!

I KNOW THEN YOU'D PROBABLY START TO TRIP,

AND SWING AT ME BUT HIT VIOLENT ED IN THE LIP.

LOOK,I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TRYIN TO SAY,

JUST DON'T FORGET ME LIKE YOU DID WITH ROB BASE!

(CHORUS)

I'MA BE DOWN,

I'MA BE DOWN,

DOWN WITH THE CLOWN TILL I'M DEAD IN THE GROUND

(REPEAT)

JUST LIKE THAT

JUMP OUTTA BED AND I HEAD FOR THE GRAPE NUTS,

EAT EM QUICK OR THEY

THEY SOGGY AND THAT SUCKS!

TRY TO FIND A CLEAN PAIR OF SOCKS AND A SHIRT,

STILL SPORT THE SAME DRAWERS EVEN THOUGH THEY HURT!

IN THE FRIDGE THERES A FAYGO,

IT TASTES ILL,CUZ ITS FLATTER THAN A BITCH ON A BIG WHEEL.

I GOT A FEW MONEYBACKS AND A LITTLE CHANGE,

SO I'M HEADING TO THE STORE WHEN THE PHONE RINGS.

"WHAT UP MAN CHECK IT OUT,

I KNOW THIS BITCH,

SHE GOTS ANOTHER FRIEND WITH HER AND HER DAD'S RICH,

IF WE FIND US A RIDE UP TO WYANDOT,

GUARUNTEED WE CAN FXCK EM' BOTH ON THE SPOT."

OH SHXT,LET ME CALL BILL-BILL,

I WANNA GO AND LET MY NUTS DO THE WINDMILL.

HE AIN'T HOME,

FXCK, I'LL CALL MIKE CLARK,

CUZ I KNOW HE CAN GET THE FXCKING SKYLARK.

HE SAID HE CAN BUT HE'S BROKE AND HE NEEDS GAS,

BUT I WANNA BUY THIS FAYGO, THINK FAST!

I KNOW MY BROTHER JUMPSTEADY'S GOT A FEW BONES,

BUT THATS GOING THROUGH HIS SHXT WHEN HE AIN'T HOME.

"NEVERMIND,J,LEGS LONED ME A TEN.

NO NEED TO GET PUNCHED IN YOUR HEAD AGAIN.

TELL MIKE TO SCOOP ME UP ON THE WAY,

AND THERES FAYGO AND NEDENHOLES ALL DAY!"

FXCK YEAH THROW MY PROWINGS ON MY FEET,

LOCK THE HOUSE AND WAIT FOR THEM IN THE STREET.

I WISH I HAD A PIECE OF GUM OR SOMETHING,

FXCK,MY MOUTH STILL KINDA TASTES LIKE GRAPE NUTS.

HERE THEY COME,

NOPE,IT WASN'T THEM,

SEEM LIKE THE SAME CARS KEEP DRIVING BY AGAIN.

IT PULLS UP....

"HEY MAN YOU'RE OUTTA LUCK..."

W-WHADDYA SAY MAN?

BOOM!!

FXCK!

PASS ME BY

"DOES THIS EXCITE YOU? THINK ABOUT IT! DOES IT NOT STAGGER THE

IMAGINATION? NO BUILDER ON EARTH CAN CONCEIVE ANY STRUCTURE TO

COMPARE TO THE MANSIONS ABOVE! WON'T THAT BE SOMETHING WHEN YOU

GO TO LIVE IN YOUR OWN MANSION? THERE'LL BE NO WORRY ABOUT PAYING

FOR IT,ITS ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF. THERE'LL BE NO WORRY OF BEING

MOVED OUT OF IT,IT WILL BE YOURS FOREVER!!"

I GOT SHOT-AHH!

THE MURDER WAS HEINOUS,

THE BULLET WENT IN MY EYEBALL AND OUT MY ANUS.

AND I WAS HIT,

THAT WAS IT,

ON THE SPOT.

FLASH,I WOKE UP IN A PARKING LOT.

AND I'M SITTING IN A '64 RINEKEYS,

WITH SHAGGY DOPE WRITTEN ON THE CAR KEYS.

I LOOK AROUND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ITS POSSIBLE,

I'M DEAD AND I MADE IT TO THE CARNIVAL.

I WALKRD IN, ITS EVERYTHING I DREAMED OF,

EVERYBODY AND THEY MAMA GOT CLOWN LOVE!

JAPANESE,LEBANESE,AND CHINESE,PORTUGESE, AND SOUTHWEST GHEETO G'S.

HANGIN OUT WITH REDNECK TRUCK DRIVERS,

INSTEAD OF ALWAYS CALLING EACH OTHER PILEDRIVERS.

I SEEN MY OLD HOMEY,

HE DIED IN A DRAG,

CHILLIN' WITH TWO BITCHES, "WHAT UP SHAGGS?"

AND HE PASSED ME A BLUNT LIKE A TREE TRUNK,

I TRIED TO HIT IT,

BUT COULDN'T EVEN FXCK WITH IT.

AND TO THINK I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID TO DIE,

AND I AIN'T NEVER GOING BACK TO WONDER WHY.

WE ALL GONNA DIE,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA FRY,

EVEN THOUGH MOST NEVER TRY,

I'M NOT GONNA LET THIS PASS ME BY,NO.

(REPEAT)

I WAS BORN.

FIRST THEY THREW ME IN A SHXT PILE.

I DEALT WITH IT,

AND LIVED THERE FOR A WHILE.

I GOT DISSED ON,PlSSED ON AND BEAT DOWN.

MUTILATED,AND TOSSED OUT A DEAD CLOWN.

NEXT THING YA KNOW I'M CHILLIN AT THE BIG TOP,

FREE MONEY AND MAD BITCHES NON-STOP.

NO WATER,ITS FAYGO ON TAP,

I WASH MY HAIR AND MY FACE AND MY BUTTCRACK WITH IT.

CUZ I CAN,

CUZ I'M FAT PAID,

I GOTTA FIVE STORY FUNHOUSE WITH A MAID,

AND SHE WALKS AROUND WITH HER TITTIES HANGING OUT,

AND WHEN I COUGH SHE COMES AND DUSTS MY BALLS OFF.

I'M HEADED UP TO SHOW,

I'M GONNA SEE JIMMY HENDRIX,SELENA,AND EAZY E.

ELVIS TRIED TO OPEN UP AND GOT DISSED OFF,

WE GOT PlSSED OFF,

BECAUSE HE SOUNDED LIKE BUTT.

THERE'S NO FIGHTS,

ITS A PERFECT MATCH,

HILLBILLIES IN THE CROWD TRYIN TO CABBAGE PATCH.

AND TO THINK,

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID TO DIE,

BUT I AIN'T NEVER GOING BACK

TO WONDER WHY..

(CHORUS 2X)

DID YA EVER BURN YOU FINGER ON SOMETHING,HEY,

WELL PICTURE THIS,

YOUR NUTS BURNING THAT WAY.

AND A ROMAN CANDLE STICKIN IN YOUR BUTTHOLE,

THATS WHERE THE GREEDY STANK MOTHER FXCKERS GO.

THIS IS ALL HELL NOW,

WE LIVING IN IT.

BUT THIS BULLSHXT WILL BE OVER IN A MINUTE.

AND THEN ITS OFF TO THE FAYGOS AND NEDENHOES,

NEW CLOTHES AND PATENT LEATHER FOR YOUR TOES.

AND WHILE YOU SIT AROUND CRYING FOR YOUR DEAD FRIEND,

HES CHILLIN UP THERE,HEY,

GETTIN MAD ENDS.

HE'S PROBABLY THERE TRYIN TO FIGURE OUT WHY YOU'RE SAD,

HES ON A BEACH GETTIN FAT,

YOU GOT IT BAD.

AND FOR THOSE WHO AIN'T DOWN FOR THE NEXT MAN,

WHO ROB FROM THE POOR AND SNATCH ALL YOU CAN,

AND ANY CHICKEN TALKIN' SHXT,

LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

HOLD A LIGHTER TO YOUR BALLS AND YOU'LL SEE WHATS COMIN'.

(KEEP REPEATING CHORUS)