This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked
>> > questions
>>about the Old and New Testaments. They have NOT been retouched or
>>corrected
>>(i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.) Too precious!!
>> >
>> > 1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
>> > creating
>>the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
>> >
>> > 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was
>> > called
>>Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
>> >
>> > 3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by
>> > night.
>> >
>> > 4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had
>> > trouble
>>with the unsympathetic Genitals.
>> >
>> > 5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
>>like
>>Delilah.
>> >
>> > 6. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
>>bread
>>which is bread without any ingredients.
>> >
>> > 7. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
>>went
>>up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
>> >
>> > 8. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
>> >
>> > 9. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the
>>Hebrews
>>in the battle of Geritol.
>> >
>> > 10. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua old his son to
>>stand
>>still and he oeyed him.
>> >
>> > 11. David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought
>> > with
>>the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
>> >
>> > 12. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
>> >
>> > 13. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the
>>Magna
>>Carta.
>> >
>> > 14. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
>>Jesus
>>in the manager.
>> >
>> > 15. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
>> >
>> > 16. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
>>before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by
>>sweat alone."
>> >
>> > 17. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
>>the
>>tombstone off the entrance.
>> >
>> > 18. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
>> >
>> > 19. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
>> >
>> > 20. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
>> >
>> > 21. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
>> > which
>>is
>>another name for marriage.
>> >
>> > 22. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Actual answers given to larry gogan on just a minute quiz
1 something a blind man might use?
a sword
2 a song with the word moon in the title?
blue suede moon
3 name the capital of France?
F
4 name an occupation where you might need a torch?
a burglar
5 where is the taj mahal?
opposite the dental hospital
6 what is hitler's first name?
heil
7 as happy as (larry gave a hint......think of my name)?
a pig in shit
8 some famous brothers?
bonnie and clyde
9 a dangerous race?
the arabs
10 something that floats in a bath?
water
11 an item of clothing worn by the three musketeers?
a horse
12 something you wear on a beach?
a deckchair
13 a famous royal?
mail
14 something that flies but doesn't have an engine?
a bicycle with wings
15 a famous bridge?
the bridge over troubled waters
16 something a cat does?
goes to the toilet
17 something you do in the bathroom?
decorate
18 a method of securing your home?
put the kettle on
19 something associated with pigs?
the police
20 a sign of the zodiac?
april
21 something people might be allergic to ?
skiing
22 something you might do before you go to bed?
sleep
23 something you put on walls?
a roof
24 something slippery?
a conman
25 a kind of ache?
a fillet of fish
26 a jacket potato filling?
jam
27 a food that can be brown or white?
a potato
28 a famous scotsman?
jock
29 a famous scotsman?
vinny jones
30 something you open other than a door?
your bowels