the call center blues boredum tempers excitment still not paid enough head set cord tangles strangles csrs to death workmans comp don't pay world wide web safety electronic funds transfer money vanishes identity theft mortgage, bank account; faked we are SO secure! more calls! shorter calls! get info - then off the phone empty que mocks stress hangovers abound too much drinking recently tuesday afternoon customer on hold mocking voices raised-unheard customer contempt follow the call script penalty; write up - pay loss marketing wisdom notepad standards suck abreviation babble Ms cld re: BWf chg
Updated as of August 26, 2001 New Goth Club Just found First time I went I got some... I like this city... Made a screen saver my ex-lovers nude abound I must hate myself I’m so BORED at work No help found in `Net access I Wish for some work! Morning interview Higher pay on horizon I hope I get it What lousy hours Can’t even go Goth clubbing Gonna jump from roof Single, broke, no clubs. I hurt for companionship Should I buy some love? Cruising net access NinjaBurger.com rules Minutes of fun there CNN Slashdot MSNBC and more Bookmarks overwhelm Call center morning ON-STAR system makes me cry I'm not paid enough =Ode, to San Francisco!= Never see the sun fog banks permanency hides I kinda like it
The Great Old Ones start hereI used to work @ MIT, these date back to there...
Dodge left, dodge right, duck accidental deletions playing voice mail tag "Join us" they whisper removal of souls done cheap "Become Salaried" Hung over worker desires sleep, caffeine, drugs should have called in sick Happy Ninety Nine emails carry virus far I'm a carrier. infected I'm not sys. admin. does his job well I like working here Lunch break is well spent downloading pornography She must LIKE horses... Rant rave scream bitch moan sit here, yawn stretch ignore cries: I'm on coffee break Iced coffee mountain dew cold coca cola classic caffeine is my friend The call was not placed and so the company folds can someone explain? Wish will be fulfilled vendor seeks timely payment and pigs have wings too brain shuts down; sleep lack my computer starts singing time for a fifteen! inspiration lost my haiku babble mindless or so it seems now... understanding lost I drank "Decaf" by mistake StarBucks; my Savior. This job fucking sucks that's it I'm going back to bed to much bullshit here Mysterious smell wafts through the building; brings Death: EVACUATION! Early October Haiku page needs updating my life's to frantic "Options a-plenty, work in a cube ... will I go public or postal?" Grief for bad grammar I was an English major Poetic license my spelling is poor SpellChek" causes atrophy mentis non-compus Deadline - Monolith We chitter in its shadow: vermin to be squashed. My cube surrounds me. Sarcophagus of boredom with fewer air holes. Screen saver's glow dazzles on my eyeglasses No contacts for me! Seven cubes over He's arguing with his wife. Private phone calls? Ha! LUMP BEHIND MY EAR NEW SECURITY MESSURES SUB-DERMAL TRACKING Gas filled cylinders orange warning labels bright fill the hall outside MIT police inspire such confidence pray for no mugging Assassin's Guild games tactics, weapons and training Real applications? MIT haiku most involve tasty pink meat "Spam" haiku bore me Boorish Haiku pride false superiority hubris my downfall M.I.T. headaches heartburn, sleep dep, stress abounds I'm not paid enough Guitars, drums and screams drown out mindless chattering my headphones save lives Dog eat Dog, they say Enter the Rat Race they say "need more cash" I say Smoothly work gets done minimal hassles arise and then I wake up Caffeine blessed morning cigarette blessed afternoon heart attack at night Thanksgiving just past Family's great affection... make that - Affliction... Direct deposit. Presidents get laid at work, Why the hell can't I? Time lost it's meaning We sit transfixed to our chairs I hate long meetings body language speaks a glance, a nod, failure seen hallway battleground marketing babble useful communication lost buzzwords can't solve jack... Arisia con! Group, bi, poly, BDSM! What science fiction? New software rollout! Presentation demo flash; impressive to sheep. taking st. john's wort no longer disgruntled drone: what is in these pills? The Day begins like a fresh new piece of paper Ends: crumpled on the floor! Blood vessels pulse hard. Accusations fly; fast-hard Empty coffee pot! Christmas tree in place my office aglow with light problem; I'm Jewish helping alumni answer questions, fix records so smart and so dumb Bash my knee wet cold drift of snow ice salt and sand how I love winter moving somewhere warm new England winters suck hard my 'sentence' is done
red adhesive heart stuck to my computer screen "You need cheer" she squeaks* Fury looms hidden behind smiling lips-tight in silence teeth grind...*
*This is semi biographical. You see, there was a red sparkly heart static adhesive sticker thingy on my computer screen one morning when I came in.
The EVIL old lady/receptionist was nearby and when I walked over to it
and said "What the hell?" as I touched the screen.
(I was confused, I hadn’t booted up or had my `Dew yet.) I heard her rather annoying high pitched nasal grandmotherly condescending/concerned voice say:
“I thought you could use some cheering up"
So I took a DEEEEEEEEP breath...
paused...
said "Thank you...",
murdered her and dismembered her body in using the office paper cutter.**
I then removed the sticker, tossed it, and went about my day.
**ok, I didn't KILL her.. I wanted too, though...