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About Me

My name is Mariah.
I am Head Teller at a local bank(which, for the personal safety of my customers, co-workers, and myself, will go un-named) in Marion, Ohio
I graduated from Ohio Wesleyan Univ. in Delaware, Ohio.
If you are here, you've probably already seen my main page:

"Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b*tch-slap the motherf*cker upside the head.."

This picture was taken at my Godmother's house around New Years 2001. Thanks Linda!

The main picture on the page is from the 1999 P.R.I.D.E. Glitter Ball at OWU.

(r-l Johanna Teresi-- aka Joseph, and Mariah Turner-- aka The $2 French Whore)

Hello. I'm Mariah. I'm 26 years old. I've lived my entire life in Marion, Ohio. I completed a German Major, Medieval Studies Minor at Ohio Wesleyan University. Like I said before, I work at a bank. If you know me and/or recognize my picture, you'll know which bank I work at. Otherwise, you don't need to know. Security, you know.

MUSIC: I like all music. My favorite group is Fleetwood Mac but I'm also into classical, rock, punk, anything and everything. I play piano, violin and pipe organ. Well, I took lessons on all 3 anyway. (10 years piano, 13 years violin, 1 year organ) I suck at all of them, like I never even took lessons at all. And according to some people, I also sing.

ACTIVITIES: I enjoy working out at the Downtown Athletic Club in Marion. They're changing the classes around right now and that kind of sucks. Oh well, as long as they don't drop pilates I guess I'm OK. I workout 5 days a week. Unfortunately, I eat like a swine so I'm not loosing much weight (my main purpose for working out). Oh, well. I'm having fun and it beats sitting on my fat ass all day.

I like to sew. I have an antique sewing machine that used to belong to my great-Grandmother. I make pillows and curtains. Exciting, I know. My grandma bought me a PINK sewing basket when I was a kid. It was a last ditch effort to turn me into a girl. Currently, sewing is the only really girly thing I do.

I like to drink. I don't like to get DRUNK, but I like to have a nice buzz. I've only been drunk to the point of puking once. It was Memorial Day 2004. I had a cook-out with some friends and I ended up spending the night on Kim's bathroom floor. When I went into work the next day, everyone was looking for tile marks on my face and asking me about driving the porcelain bus. I don't plan on doing that again anytime soon.

Speaking of drinking, I've got an awesome drink mix. One of my college profs(no, really! I'm not kidding!) passed this down to me. It's called:


1)First, take grape Kool-Aid and mix with 1qt of water. Make the solution as strong or weak as you desire.

2)Next, add some booze. Gin, vodka, rum, amaretto, and grape-flavor Pucker are some favorites. I wouldn't use all at the same time, though. Just pick one or two that have flavors that jibe. Always use the grape Pucker-- it adds to the flavor of the Kool-Aid.

3)Chill and serve.

It's called "Screaming Purple Jesus" because it's purple (duh!) and, depending on how much booze you put in, one sip will leave you screaming "JESUS!"

GOLF: I've recently taken up golf. It started out as another excuse to hang with friends (since nearly all of them golf!) and drink beer (who needs an excuse!). But I've found that I actually enjoy the sport. As of April 20, I've only been golfing once but I go to the Miracle Driving Range a lot. They've got cheap balls (that sounds bad) and a guy that works there (owns the place, maybe?) gives me pointers on my swing. I suck but it's all good.

FRIENDS: I love hanging out with my friends. Sometimes I take bike rides with my friends, although I haven't done that for a while. My bike-riding buddies don't live close anymore. I like to go out with my friends. Tuesday nights, a group of us go out for buffalo wings and beer. **Eating and drinking: two of my favorite things to do with friends!** I also just like talking to my friends. They're all cool.

MY GREATEST WEAKNESS: My greatest weakness is that I care too much. This might also be my greatest virtue. But it sure does cause me a lot of grief. I don't like for my friends to be hurt. I try to do anything and everything to cheer people up. I know I can't fix people's problems for them, but I try anyway. I just like to make people happy.

Guess that's all for now. I'll add more later.

By the way, I'm GAY!

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