Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people in Xena:Warrior Princess, I'm just borrowing them for the length of this story. I will return them intact when I'm finished with them. This story is for the enjoyment of the menbers of the Ares and Xena Shippers Club. I'm making no money on the story.
Xena and Gabrielle had suffered through more than a week of rain. They had resupplied at a small town, learned of the fair in the next big town, and traveled for many miles on horseback. They had arrived in town to see the big fair. Both had done some shopping, and had finally settled down at the Inn's tavern for some supper. Two drunks had started a fight. The fight had soon escalated into a drunken brawl. Xena had broken it up, and gotten the crowd to clean up the mess they had made. Altogether an exhausting day. They had gone to bed early, falling asleep almost before they crawled into their beds.
The crowing of a very loud rooster awakened Xena the next morning. At first she couldn't figure out why the bird sounded so very loud. She got up and looked out the window. Below her sill was the roof of the kitchen. There, just outside her window, was the rooster in question. He had a perfect view of the sunrise from there, and was strutting importantly up and down the slope of the roof. He turned his head and looked her right in the eye. "COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOO!" He announced. She could have sworn he was doing it especially for her benefit.
She turned and looked at Gabrielle, who had pulled the pillow up over her head.
The rooster crowed again, eliciting a groan from the bard. "You might as well get up," Xena told her, "He's in rare form today, and he's just warming up." Her only reply was another groan. Morning was definitely not Gabrielle's favorite time of day. Xena left her there to the rooster's ministrations, and went looking for breakfast. The Inn owner was all smiles when she entered the tavern room. "And did you ladies get a good night's rest?" he queried. Xena laughed and replied "Lovely, until your friend outside decided we were sleeping in. He has quite a voice." she laughed. The Innkeeper laughed also, and agreed. "My wife has been threatening him with the stewpot for two years now, it doesn't even faze him. Will your friend be joining you for breakfast?" Xena shook her head and smiled, "She's not a morning person, but I think that rooster just might encourage her to make an exception today. Don't plan on anything for her until you see the whites of her eyes. She's been known to sleepwalk." They both chuckled, and the innkeeper asked what she would like for breadfast. "Do you have bacon and eggs?" "Of course, why do you think we keep that blasted rooster, he keeps the hens happy." They both chuckled again, and he walked back into the kitchen shaking his head and grinning.
Xena had finished her breakfast, and was drinking a mug of tea by the time Gabrielle came down the stairs. She was still yawning widely, and stretching and swinging her arms as she came to the table. "Are you awake?" Xena asked. She received a mumbled reply, that she couldn't quite make out. "What did you say?" she inquired again. "I said, that stupid loud mouthed rooster just won't shut up." was the response. Xena chuckled, and just to rub it in a little, informed Gabrielle that she was having eggs for breakfast. "Eggs? not on your life! Anything to do with chickens is definitely out for today." While she was speaking, the innkeeper had entered the room behind her. He grinned and winked at Xena. "Ah, there she is. You're just in time for lunch. We're having a vegetable omelet, chicken and gravy over biscuits, or a shredded chicken salad." "What? I won't be here for lunch, I'll find someplace that isn't serving Chicken." Xena laughed with the innkeeper. "He's just teasing you Gabrielle, what are we actually having?" "I have plenty of the roast pork from last night. We sometimes serve that on a roll, with a spicy tomato sauce." "Now that sounds delicious,Gabrielle said. Just leave the chicken for someone else. I'm not in the mood."
Lunch was even better than Gabby had hoped. They had plenty of fresh cheese, fruit, fresh loaves of bread, and a dish of steamed broccoli to go with the pork. They also had a fruit punch that was cool and delicious. Xena was amused to see that Gabrielle's appetite was unscathed. She ate her fill, then just kept on nibbling, a little of this, a little of that. Finally Xena began to worry about her. At long last Gabrielle gave a big sigh, rubbed her tummy, and burped loudly. Xena burst into laughter, it had been a tremendous belch. "If we were in the east, that would be considered a monumental compliment to your host." she informed her, still laughing. For a moment Gabrielle looked offended, but then she saw the humor in the situation. They laughed for several minutes, and then Xena got to her feet. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's time to hit the road. We've been here long enough."
They went to the stables, collected their well fed and contented horses, and saddled them up. Then they loaded their packs, saddlebags and provisions behind the saddles, and mounted up. At a slow walk they traveled down the main street and to the city gates. Traveling any faster would have raised a lot of dust. It seemed hard to believe that it had rained that hard, for that long, and the streets were already dusty. Maybe the rain had gone around? Sometimes it did that. A massive storm would pass to the south of them, and a few candlemarks later another would pass along the northern horizon. They would have bright sunlight all day. A good question for the gods,...why ? As they traveled they passed a large dark temple in a grove of trees beside the road. There were no obvious signs as to which god was represented here, but, something about it reminded Xena of Ares. It was dark, and rather massive, without any decorative touches. As they got closer, they saw a stone pillar beside the trail leading to the temple. On the pillar was clearly delineated the rune representing Ares. She had been right.
They quickly passed it without stopping or even slowing down. Continued travel soon took them from the immediate area. Several hours later, they made camp beside a small clear stream. There was a waterfall, that only extended about six feet across, and maybe four feet tall. At the base was a pool, not too deep, and not very large. It looked like the perfect place for a bath. The air temperature had been increasing all day, and both had been sweating. It was rather early in the year for this much heat. Sometimes you just can't win for losing. Over a week of rain and cold had left them feeling rather bedraggled. Now they were slowly baking in the heat. The bath would be a welcome relief. They each had chores to do, Gabrielle went looking for firewood, Xena went hunting for dinner. There didn't seem to be many fish in the stream, at least not in this area of the stream. It didn't take Xena long to bring back a very large, very fat, rabbit. She skinned and cleaned it, then cut a stick to use for a spit. In the meantime Gabrielle had started a small fire. She got out a pan, and prepared some vegetables, she then placed two medium potatoes in the coals to bake. She said "We'll have a feast!" Xena just grinned and shook her head. As if Gabrielle hadn't eaten enough for both of them at lunch, now she was thinking about a feast. Where did she put it all, in a hollow leg? Maybe both legs were hollow. What an idea. Just thinking about it made her chuckle. Two hollow legs, that would explain the appetite. Gabrielle gave her a questioning look, but she just shook her head again, "Nothing, just a foolish thought." she replied.
After they had eaten, they cleaned up around the dampsite, cleaned the pans, and put things away. They both looked at each other, grinned, and took off running for the brook. "Last one in is a rotton egg!" Xena called. "Don't remind me about chickens!" Gabby complained. "Well, at least you won't have to listen to sir rooster tomorrow morning." Xena commiserated. "He was a bit too much at that hour of the morning." "You're telling me!" Gabby muttered. "Actually, I thought I just did tell you." Xena grinned again. "Are you sure you wouldn't like eggs for breakfast? I brought a few just in case. " "Xena!!!! you just stop it." They continued in this vein for quite a while, teasing each other unmercifully. After all, what are best friends for? They stripped themselves on the grassy verge of the stream, clothes flying in all directions. Xena beat her into the water, but just barely. There wasn't more than a hand's breadth between them. They scrubbed until they felt really clean, then they washed their hair. Finally they got out of the water, they had neglected to bring towels with them. They turned and looked at each other, then they began laughing. There they were, soaking wet, standing there naked and laughing. They were both feeling a little foolish at the moment.
They had finally just picked up their clothes in one wet hand, and raced naked back to camp, still laughing. They retrieved their towels, and dried off. Then they got dressed again. Every so often they would break out into laughter. First one would start, then when the laughter started to die down, the other would begin again. They finally crawled into their bedrolls, and tried to calm down. Occasional quiet giggles continued for a while, but then they both fell asleep. It was early dawn when Xena became aware of his presence. She tried to ignore him, but soon he bent and whispered "Xena...." in her ear. So much for sleep. At least this wasn't quite as bad as the rooster. Ares was much easier to listen to, and also much better looking. At least to a woman, she was sure the hens would disagree. Just the thought of a bunch of hens walking around checking out Ares was enough to set her off into giggles again. It's a good think Gabrielle slept as deeply as she did. "What's so funny?" he asked quietly. "Hens!" was her amused reply. "Hens?" "Yes, hens!" she started to giggle again. She was holding both hands over her mouth to muffle the laughter. With a quizzical expression on his face, Ares waited patiently for her to explain. It took a while. Every time she tried to talk, she would start to giggle again.
Eventually she got herself under control. When she explained the mental picture she had experienced, he too began to chuckle. "Well, I always thought I was good looking, but I can easily admit that hens might not think so." he replied. "Especially if you drew your sword and waved it around." she giggled. "They might get a bad case of not me!!!! Choose some other chicken. Are you sure you wouldn't prefer turkey?" He started to laugh again. They were trying to keep their voices down, but a sudden guffaw woke Gabrielle. "Ares, what are you doing here?" "Being royally entertained ." was the reply. "Royally?"she questioned. "Yes, royally, a king would have to go some to find anything funnier than that." "What?' she wanted to know. "Chickens!!!" he guffawed. "Chickens? Xena, you didn't!" "Actually, I didn't, this is something else entirely." she replied. Xena started giggling again, "I wasn't even thinking about that." She received a doubtful look from Gabrielle, and a questioning one from Ares. "What?" he questioned. "Don't you dare tell him!!! Gabrielle shouted.
Eventually both stories came out, it really was humorous. The three of them continued to laugh and come up with ever more hilarious ideas. Dawn broke, and Ares disgustedly shook his head. "Well girls, I hate to break it up, but I've got a war to supervise. I don't know when I've ever had so much fun, in fact I don't know if I've ever had so much fun. I can't remember ever laughing so hard in my life." The girls actually hated to see him go, but they realized that the situation was not likely to be repeated. He was still the god of war, and still technically their enemy. At the moment, a rather friendly enemy, but an enemy nonetheless.
After he left they made breakfast (No eggs!), packed up, and continued their journey.