Tranquility


By Kim

She closed off her mind, lowering her body to a kneeling position. Xena focused on her breathing, in and out, in a gentle and unhurried way. She brought on a level of tranquillity. Letting her mind go blank with just her breathing, in and out in a slow pattern. She knelt up on her knees, making her body tall, but relaxed, leaning backwards slightly so that her balance would not be disturbed.

When she gained the tranquillity that she required, she gently lowered herself, from her tall, erect position and then brought herself back up, this was to test her surroundings, making sure that she had the tranquillity of mind that she required. Satisfied, she moved both her arms from their position at her sides and slowly brought them up to shoulder height, still concentrating on her breathing and now the pressure of the air surrounding, following with her arms the current of the air. She was now oblivious to her surroundings but at the same time, highly aware of them. The slightest noise would have her on the alert but all she was focused on was her own body. She was gaining the ultimate level of control over it. Slowly moving her arms in what seemed to be a set pattern, though she herself did not know the pattern, she just felt the guidance on the air and made the elegancy of the moves.

She felt a warming in the air and a reaction from the body that she had forgotten, it did not disturb her movements, nor her state of mind, she only knew the presence to be Ares. Normally she might have felt a tingling sensation but her mind was detached from her body, though perfectly in tune. She appreciated the presence though, it seemed to heighten her awareness of the routes her arms needed to take. In the know tranquil chambers of her mind she could almost see his very presence, her eyes were closed and all she had was the feel of him in her mind, she knew that he held knelt behind her though and had taken to the same routine as she herself had done.

As they did the movements in time, their minds seem to merge, their presences mingle and entwine. The air around them gushed, seem to push them together almost, though in a very gentle, almost unperceivable way, their bodies seemed to hear it and sway with it. Their arm movements stopped as their arms are once against placed by their sides. Slowly, their eyes opened and they stood.

Both Ares and Xena were completely relaxed, no confrontation happening. They had a level of peace within them that was hard to find and even harder to accomplish. Xena herself had learned it in Chin but where had Ares learned it? Xena didn't think that God's needed to be calm, wasn't it natural to them?

"Where did you learn that?" Xena asked Ares, she said it in a normal tone, not wishing to start to fight with him, but just to relax some more and perhaps have a decent conversation.

"It's not something you learn, but I was shown it by my own mentor when I was a teenager. His name was Anamus."

"I wasn't aware that you were a teenager. It never really struck me that you weren't born like that, grown up." Xena looked quizzical, if she carried this on she might actually start to she him as human, she knew he wasn't but she'd always wanted to.

Ares chuckled, "Yes, I grew up, it was eons ago, I hardily remember but I always remember what I'm taught. I suppose that it how a God grows, not through body but in mind, in person."

"Aren't you shaped by what you stand for, what you are? I was under the impression that you are war, or something along those lines, I never really gave it that much thought." They were both pondering now, their differences not relevant, their tranquillity ruled and made it possible for them to just think and talk.

"Ah, (he sighed), war runs through my veins but I have to have a level of humanity in me, or else how could I ever stand for that which is human? I wouldn't have a chance of understanding them." His voice was almost soft, if not a little sombre.

"Why so sad?" A hint of concern was etched into Xena's voice, "I thought that you liked what you do, I thought you had all that you wanted."

"I'm not sad, and I will never have all that I wish for, some things you can't have. Xena, I do like what I do, I just don't see why it must be all that I do? Even you, the one that probably knows me the most, though hardily at all, sees me as only the God of War and it is tiring. It is why I came here, I saw you were practicing my old methods of gaining calm and thought I would join you. I know you dislike me, if that was ever a stronger word, but you still don't see me like everyone else, we were close once and to you, at least, I can be a little different, not just war."

"Ares, you have been alive for eons and yet you find my company desirable over everyone else's; if it's true, why will you not except me for who I am now, why make elaborate schemes to get me back, I still enjoy your company, though never ask me to admit when I have all of my senses about me."

"The truth of it; I know only war and have too much pride to except you whilst you aren't under my thumb, though that statement goes no further than here. The war in me still loves to see you fired up, fighting your way through a battle, with the bloodlust in your heart, the fire in your eyes. The god of war cannot have a companion, a friend, Xena, to talk to you without getting others on at me I have to create schemes for you to foil, then I can talk to you. You aren't my lover, so I have no rights there either. It just isn't appropriate, I might even get you caught in with some of my enemies if they think I care for you."

Xena's heart was warmed at this speech, next time they met it would all be different, so she had to make the most of it. What could they do though, she wasn't going back and it might damage Ares' power to have her as a friend. Being a lover wouldn't be bad but there would be no respect in it, and she said as much.

"We could do this though, couldn't we? If I'm alone and you feel like this, you can talk to me, or get me involved with one of your little plans, though try to make them less dangerous, I seem to get more bruises each time!" At this they both chuckle, Ares was going to apologise but thought better of it, Xena might be insulted and her comment didn't mean much. "Other than that there isn't much, unless we swallow our pride, but that'll never happen. You can talk to me at night, when gabby is asleep, I'll hear you, I feel you."

"I always wondered about that. I suppose it is all we can do. I wonder when this calm thing will turn itself off. It's quite nice but I can't really control my tongue, I'll be spoiling my next surprise before I know it." He grinned wickedly. Xena returned and watched as he made to get up.

"Get outta here then, before I start trying to tear you limb from limb!" She mocked menaced at him. Then they smiled at each other and in a flash he was gone. Though her calmness was still their her senses came back, she realised she had been talking quite normally to Ares and everything she had said was true as was what he had said.

"Damn," she thought, not wanting to admit it, "I'm still in love with him…."