Day 2-AN ERRAND
Ares appeared in one of the vacant rooms of his temple in a flash of
blinding blue light, eyes searching his surroundings wearily for a
moment relaxing just slightly when he found no immediate threat of his
princess. A thankful sigh escaped his lips and he slumped his shoulders.
He just stood there for a few moments, casting distrusting looks at the
door every so often before he set the jar he held in his hands on a
small table holding a single candle, and stalked over to a chair which
he sulked down into tiredly, resting his head on his hands.
These were the most trying of times. Times that would push a man to his
wits end, strain his very bearings, and make him question his own
sanity. The last two days had literally been hell on Earth. Honestly. If
he made it through the next few days with his life...no, if he made it
without becoming a matching pair of bookends...hell..if he made it out
before being driven completely nuts, he would personally take flowers,
chocolates, even those disgusting little crochet needles that Atropos
liked - anything - to the Fates to show them his appreciation.
'No man should EVER have to go through this!' He thought sullenly as he
brought up his fist to nervously chew on his knuckle. He had thought she
was vicious in battle. Bloodthirsty, cruel, ruthless ... merciless ...
cold ... altogether evil on the battlefield. But nothing could have
prepared him for the complete bitchiness that was his princess when she
was on her period.
As much as he hated to admit it...he was scared of her when she was like
this. Him - the God of War - was frightened of a mortal woman on her
cycle. 'Although I have every right to be,' he thought, thoroughly
depressed .. she might decide to go find a hindsblood dagger if he so
much as looked at her the wrong way. Which was really a hard thing,
because he couldn't help but staring at her ... she was so beautiful.
But if it meant the difference between his life and his death, he would
bloody well keep his eyes anywhere but on her.
He sighed again, his face becoming more disgruntled with each passing
moment. If only it was that simple. He could manage to keep from looking
at her...but it wasn't just his gaze that seem to upset her. He had to
make certain not to move the wrong way. Not to say the wrong thing ...
Hades, he had to make sure not to breath when she didn't want him to.
Yesterday had proved completely disastrous as he had sent her into a
bout of depression that she was still suffering from. And a depressed
Warrior Princess wasn't exactly someone you could classify as ... well
.... as safe. Today he had left early, waking up almost three hours early
to be certain he left before she awoke. He was out of there.
He had succeeded in keeping himself out of her sight until she managed
to corner him on a trip to his altar room. She wanted him to get her
something ... he was sure that this wasn't the time to refuse and
hastened to do her bidding.
Ares shuddered as he contemplated the course of the next few days. How
was he ever going to get through this? The mood swings? The violent
tendencies, the depression ... it was too much for him to handle ...
give him a nice bloodbath in Persia .. that he could do. Obviously,
becoming an immortal hadn't stopped her monthly cycle.
"Damn it!" he swore. Immortals weren't supposed to bleed!
A sudden thought thought struck him that required a mental calculation.
Ares looked up,
his expression radiating pure horror. Her cycle lasted 4 days. That was
four days a month, twelve months a year...that was forty-eight days a
year for an eternity. Ares moaned softly, shaking his head, wanting to
cry. On the bright side, at least it was only 'four' days ... he'd heard
from Hephestaus that Dite's was seven. Silently he mouthed 'Thankyou' to
his lucky stars.
A soft, guttural groan broke through his musings. "Ares?"
His eyes snapped up, laced with fear as he looked around for a place to
hide-finding none he steadied his shaking shoulders and looked up
flashing Xena his best 'charming' smile as she walked into the room, one
of his long black robes wrapped around her body, her crossed arms
holding it up. She offered him a tiny, half-smile in reply - she was a
woman still (and that smile was irresistible) before frowning and asking
suddenly, "Did you get 'em?"
"Uhh, yeah, I did-both of them, they're ahh, right here." he said
motioning to the table with the jar and small bundle laying on top of
them. He reached over and picked it up, taking of the lid, pulling back
his hand quickly as her reached inside the jar, coming out with
something brown and red which she promptly stuck in her mouth, a look of
bliss covering her face as she did so.
"Hmmm...good boy." She muttered as she began eating the fruit top speed.
Chocolate covered ambrosia slices...her favorite. "Did you thank Dite
for me?" she asked between mouthfuls.
"Uhhh, yeah-I did, she said no problem." He answered, watching his
princess eat with a raised eyebrow as he pulled the jar back just
slightly. "Ahh, sweet...don't you think you'd ought to slow do-" his
mouth snapped shut with an audible 'click' as glaring blue eyes, all of
a sudden, locked on his brown. With no hesitation whatsoever, he
surrendered the jar to the angry woman, taking a small step backwards.
As she ate, Xena stared up at him and asked,
"And you got the others?" at his nod she smiled and nodded happily.
"Great .. you know, being immortal has one advantage ... well besides
getting to be with you forever ... you get to have Dite as a friend. I
don't know what I'd do without her ... these new things she has ... what
did she call them? Tampons? They'd sell big time with mortals ... I'm
serious they're going to catch on ..." Taking a break she looked up and
shook a finger at him as she added in a helpful voice, "We should buy
stock. They're just great...they're comfortable, better than
leaves...and they don't leak - aren't very messy." She trailed off
contemplatingly as she furrowed her brow at Ares..."What?"
Through the course of her ranting, Ares face had gone paler and paler
until it was now a pale shade of white that just totally looked off with
his leathers. "Damn Xe ... that's gross, lets talk about something else,
huh?"
No sooner had he spoken then the jar went hurtling to the nearest wall,
shattering into a thousand pieces. "Something else! Damnit Ares! The
least you could do is listen! I'm the one who has to go through it, and
you can't even stand to hear about it! How do you think I feel! Its
always about you - well guess what?! If I want to talk about Tampons ...
WE. TALK. ABOUT. TAMPONS!" she growled in a threatening voice, eyes wide
and feral looking with anger.
Ares winced, hating to back down but nodded slightly, knowing this was
neither the time nor the place..."I'm sorry honey...I didn't mean
anything by it, okay?" He purred soothingly, taking a tentative step
forward, trying to ignore her dangerous eyes. "Please?"
Her face slowly softened and she leaned in towards him to plant a kiss
on his lips. "Okay." she replied abruptly and lay her head on his
shoulder. "Can we go to sleep?" she asked, in a sleepy voice.
Ares smiled and transported them to his bed where they fell asleep in
each others arms ... Ares last thought being, 'ONLY 2 MORE DAYS!'
Day 3-WRONG WORDS
Xena whimpered as she woke up, a series of cramps attacking her lower
back and abdoman They pounded percilessly against her body. They were
annonoying and painful...sort of like Gabrielle when she started to
talk. She felt Ares powerful arms wrapped around her as he slept
peacefully. Xena felt a sudden jolt of envy wash over
her...bastard...why should he be able to sleep?
She knew that she was still going strong today, and she hated it. She
walked into the her and Ares private bathroom, as a group of the hand
maidens Ares insisted on her having turned on the shower, giving her
sympathetic looks that only women can share. Another good thing about
being immortal. Showers.
She felt so dirty. 'I hate getting my period. It it...well, for lack of
a better word, sucks.' As she stepped into the shower, the warm water
started to calm her down again.
Ares had been awake when Xena had left the room, watching her with one
eye. As soon as he woke up he remembered that Xena was on her period,
that's why she spent a half-hour in the bathroom. Oh man, she's gonna be
touchy today. I better play it by ear. He got up and went into the
temple kitchen, dismissing the cooks with a wave of his hand. Knowing
that Xena liked chocolate during her time of month, he made her some hot
cocoa along with a chocolate chip muffin he had gotten from Apollo who
made them in his spare time.. He shrugged. It wasn't his place to
comment on what other people did. What the hell was he saying? Of course
it was! He always knew something was wrong with Apollo!
He waited anxiously for Xena to get out of the shower, and hoped that
she wouldn't bite his head off.
Xena slowly got out of the shower. She knew Ares was up, and she didn't
care if she made him wait. She just wanted to die. Ohh, but there was
another problem...the jerk had made her immortal. Damn. She decided on a
pair of baggy silk pants, a dark black overshirt and pulled her hair
into a ponytail. She didn't care what she looked like. If anyone had a
problem with it, they were going to meet the sharp end of her sword..
When she came into the kitchen she saw Ares sitting at the table. She
also noticed in her spot was a steaming mug of hot chocolate and a
chocolate chip muffin. She trudged over to her chair and plopped down.
She began to pick at the muffin and slowly drink the chocolate.
"Morning, baby." Ares said quietly.
"Mmph."
By that reaction, Ares could tell that Xena was probably hating him for
being a male. But he would never bring that to his defense, knowing that
he would probably not live past the last word. He was just glad that
Xena didn't last the full week. Ares looked at the huge digital
supported by 2 columns... 7:30. Hercules needed her in thirty minutes.
Ares hated to do this. "Xena, shouldn't you be going now? You don't want
to be late do you?" He waited for the hands to close around his throat.
But instead, "Fine." Was all she mumbled. He stood up and walked over to
her. He kissed her lightly on the lips, and transported her to the Road
outside Corinth.
LATER THAT NIGHT...
"I hate them! I hate them all! Why don't they just die?!" Xena screamed
as she walked into the temple.
"Xena? What's wrong?." He asked, concerned. Uh oh, who pissed her off?
I'll be surprised if they're still alive.
"Hercules! Ioulaus! Gabrielle! I hate them all! They all suck!!!"
"Tell me what happened." After a little convincing, she broke.
"Well, I got to them like two minutes late, and the Gabrielle bitched me
out! She said I was getting lazy! Excuse me that my body decided that it
wasn't good for me to run while I have cramps! And then, Hercules was
talking about some warlord in Thrace, and he said that It was Natrius!
But it's Nathrese! And of course I couldn't stop him from making a fool
out of himself because the all high and mighty Hercules NEVER makes
mistakes!!!" Ares couldn't help but grin when she mentioned his idiot
half brother, and recieved a harsh galre from her before she
continued. "And he took away my Chakram! Damn him!!! At least Iolaus was
nice to me. Then, when we were going after 'ANOTHER' warlord, they made
me run and run! It hurts so bad, Ares! I feel like I'm going to die!!!
Oh and then, The warlord guy decided that he couldn't just give up like
a smart person and he put up a fight. That was fun! So there I was
kicking his ass..and do you know how uncomfortable it is to fight when
you're bleeding and you can't control it?! No, of course you don't!
You're a male, and you'll never understand! I hate you!" Xena stomped
into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Ares sighed. He hated this.
Two more days, that's all, only two more. He lay on the bed and shut his
eyes.
Ares woke later and found Xena curled up to him sound asleep. She
shifted uncomfortably in her sleep and whimpered. Ares kissed the top of
her head and drifted back to sleep.
STILL LATER THAT NIGHT
'Thank the fates its not the morning yet', Xena thought. She stretched
her muscles and went to go take a shower. She still felt icky, but at
least she wasn't crying. She got out of the shower and dressed in her
favorite of Ares' robes. No way was she going to go out tonight, not
even if the building burnt down. Nope, she was going to stay on the
couch all day, snuggled in her lover's arms and watch all the happy
people through the god-vision-thingy..
The day was spent with Xena on the coach and Ares holding her. He only
got up when she told him to. He got up when she had to go to the
bathroom, he got up to get her chocolate, and he got up to get her
Advilus or Midolese.
Ares once again counted the days in his head. Damnit. Still 2.
WAY WAY LATER THAT NIGHT.
It was almost early morning and Ares and Xena were still laying on the
couch watching the 'TV.' Xena had a container of chocolate pudding and
the rest were on the floor within her reach. Suddenly, Xena dropped the
pudding on the floor and doubled over in pain. "Oh Gods," was all she
could say. It hurt so bad. It felt like someone was twisting a knife
around in her gut.
"Xena, honey, what's wrong?"
"Cramps=85aspirin=85 now=85 go=85" He got up as fast as he could and ran
into the kitchen before turning around. "Adivilus or Motrinese?" he
asked. "I DONT CARE!" she shouted. Ares ran and grabbed three Advilus
and a goblet of water. He returned and she took the pills. He pulled her
into her lap as she cried, and whispered, "Shh shh. It's going to be
alright."
Big mistake.
"What the hell do you know?! You're never going to have to go through
this! You don't know what it's like to bleed five days out of a month!!!
You don't know what it feels like to want to cry one minute and the next
to curl up and die! Unless you go through it, you'll never know! I'll
have to go through this until I hit my forties or maybe even fifties!!!
And then menopause! And the only time I'll get a break is when YOU
decide to get me pregnant! And then every part of me is going to swell,
I'll look like a cow, and I'll be craving everything down to dirt!!!
There's no break!!!"
Xena had picked up a dagger that was nearby and was proceeding to push
Ares towards the wall, aiming at his throat..intent on killing him even
though she knew it was impossible. "And you have the nerve to tell me
that it's going to be alright! I hate you! I hate guys! They think they
know what they are talking about! They're asses!! I'm becoming a
Hestian!!! You're sleeping on the couch tonight!" Xena threw the dagger
at the wall and it stuck there. Xena stomped into the bedroom and
returned with a pillow and blanket and threw them at Ares. She then went
back into the bedroom and slammed the door shut.
Ares heard the lock click from the other side of the door. He stared at
the door, eyes full of indignant rage. "But its my bed!" he whined and
winced when a loud "SCREW YOU!" vibrated through the air. He plopped
down onto the couch. 'How am I ever going to survive?'
DAY FOUR: THE MIRACLE
Xena was happy. After going into the bathroom, she found out that she
had stopped. No more cramps for a month. Xeba sighed a sigh of relief.
Oh no! Ares! What did I do to him last night? She remembered threatening
him with a dagger.
She unlocked the door to their bedroom and saw Ares sleeping on the
couch. She looked over to where she had thrown the small knife. It had
in fact missed Ares..and the wall..to firmly implant itself in a statue
of Ares. Centimeters away from missing his manhood. Xena went
over and pulled it out of the wall. She sighed and went over to Ares'
sleeping form.
Hmm. How am I going to wake him up? I know! Xena bent over and began to
kiss Ares on the lips.
Even in his sleep, he responded to her and he pulled her on top of him.
He groggily opened his eyes. He looked at her with questioning eyes. "Am
I okay to kiss you again, or are you going to take that dagger and try
to gut me with it?"
"You can kiss me. I stopped. I'm sorry about last night, Ares. It's just
that it hurts so bad, and I lose all train of reasonable thought."
"It's okay. Though I don't understand it, I want to try. At least I'm
learning what to say and do and not say and do."
"True. I know one thing that you better do right now," she told him with
a smile.
"Oh? And what would that be?"
"Kiss me?"
"Always."
THE END