Kindred Spirits


By Shadow Warrior

This episode keeps to a fairly serious theme for awhile. As our show opens, we find many Amazons bathing in the river. They are very scantilly clothed (as you might EXPECT anyone who is bathing to be) but someone is watching them. Several women talk about men and having children, wondering what all this might involve....... one mentions that they don't need any men since they have Eve as the baby in the village. Another says that Xena, Gab, and Eve might be moving on soon. However, Gabrielle is considering staying on as queen.

Xena and Gabrielle are wearing different elk skin leathers, and Xena is making a baby swing for Eve. Gabrielle enters, carrying Eve. She asks Xena if she had considered the idea of settling down and staying there in that village. She says that Eve needs to be around other people and that it would be good for her. Xena says that Gab can't be serious, that she needs to be on the move. She has this serious look on her face, though, and says that it would be of merit to consider.

Meanwhile the Amazons capture the peeping tom and bring him to queen Gabrielle, explaining that he was caught watching naked Amazons bathing. They say that for doing so he must die. They uncover him to reveal that it is Joxer. He says that he wasn't watching, he just happened to be in those bushes for a long time! Xena whispers to Joxer and asks him if he did some little task she'd sent him on and he says no. Xena says that he must stay in stocks until they decide what to do with him, and that she'd never seen him before!

Joxer has been in stocks for a long time and needs to go to the bushes for "relief" but no one will allow this to happen.

Xena and Gabrielle are talking with other Amazons about men as they sit in a steam room full of hot rocks. The Amazons say that they have no need for a man unless they wanted to have a baby, but that Eve was the child of the village at that time. Gab mentions to the others that Xena had a lot more experience with men.... as inquiring eyes turn to Xena, Gab says that she and Xena are considering staying on there. Xena says that they might be considering staying, but maybe they're moving a bit too fast here for her.

Nightime here. Xena and Gabrielle sleeping in separate beds. A horn blows, and Gab says it's a summons for her to come to council. She says that she's encouraged them to follow tradition and custom. Xena tells Eve that someday all this will be hers. She's been thinking about Gab's offer of staying there, and she says that Eve is in a good, safe place. There are lots of ready-made babysitters, too. She says that this could work.

Suddenly Xena hears a noise, and reaches into bushes and collars an Amazon who's lurking there. She tells Xena that she's trying to prove to her that she's capable of becoming Xena's new sidekick since Gab will be staying on as Queen and Gab and Xena have broken up. She says that she can jump, fight, and do 30 pushups. She domonstrates this, and Xena has a bored look on her face. She says that she and Gab have not broken up but that she needs to go out alone for awhile, and asks the young Amazon if she can CLEAN..... to which she (the Amazon) gets a puzzled look on her face.

The Amazons bring Joxer to Gabrielle, and ask for his just punishment. Gab says that he must serve a day in stocks, but that he's already done that so he is now free. Cyanne protests and says that he deserves worse. She says that Amazon law demands that they pluck one of his EYES out as punishment! Gab leaves him in stocks for now while she researches the law.

Xena is sitting and talking to the Amazon sidekick wannabee, who has cleaned up the camp spotlessly. Eve is crawling into a hollow log which has the campfire at the other end of it. Xena nonchalantly uses her whip to turn the log around, never missing a word of the conversation. Eve crawls out, right back on her blanket where she started from.

Gab walks up to Xena, and comments that she's done such a great job of cleaning! She commends Xena for really trying to make this thing work out. Xena has a far-away look in eyes, and you can see that she isn't interested in settling down or staying here.

A beautiful young Amazon named Rheah studies Joxer, who's still in stocks. She asks him if he will "help" her to have a baby! He gets wide-eyed and says NO! He says that he's not just a machine, that he needs cheap hotel rooms, dirty pictures, and lingerie! As she leaves, he gets a desperate look on his face and says that he can get those things!

Cyanne confronts Xena that her presence is needed to make Gab's honoring the greatest day of her life. Xena still has that far-away look in eyes....

As the Amazons practice dancing, they have Xena with them. She is half-assed trying, and Gab sees that she is not trying. Xena tells the others that she's had enough of this already. One of the Amazons says that Xena is old and probably needs to rest. Xena raises an eyebrow to this. Xena and Gabrielle argue and Xena says that she and Eve will leave just as soon as the ceremony is finished. She asks Gab if she made her new outfit herself. Gab wearing a fine elkskin leather outfit and berserker-type hat.

Inside the cabin, Gab is reading law scrolls. She hears Xena outside with the Amazons, who question her about the sword and chakram that she uses. Gab knows she will miss being involved in Xena's adventures.

Gab speaks with Joxer, and tells him that as a first-time offender she can pardon him BUT he has to pledge his undying love and allegiance to her, before other Amazons.

The full moon ceremony for Gab. She must get naked and be covered in mud, and howl at the full moon all night long. Nope, she's wearing a bikini.... she's surrounded by all the Amazons who dance in support for her.

Next morning, the sidekick wannabee demonstrates backflips for Xena, but crashes into cabin wall. Xena tells her that she did pretty good, but her war cry sounded like a dying Yak. The wannabee takes Eve from Xena while Xena goes inside to pack things up. Xena tells the wannabee that she doesn't want or need a sidekick. She just wants to take Eve and go alone for a few weeks. The wannabee has Gab's scrolls inside on a table for Xena to do something with. Xena sits at this table with Eve, and begins to read a scroll. She asks Eve if she'd like to hear a story, and reads to her.

As Gab and several Amazons walk past Joxer he pledges his allegiance to Gab, kind of half-heartedly. She says that she will "consider" his pledge.

Rheah, the young Amazon, cuts Joxer loose but leaves the board around his neck. She takes him into a cabin and tries to get him to explain to her how to have a child..... hmmmm, poor deprived girl!! LOL Anyhow, Joxer says that it would be nice to start with a kiss. She obviously has had a very secluded and sheltered life!

The Amazons ask Gab about Joxer's punishment again. They demand his eye to be plucked out but Gab says she pardons him, because he pledged his allegiance to her, and it was in keeping with Amazon custom. So they go to set him free. But Cyanne goes and sees that he's gone. She quickly tracks him to the cabin, where she finds Rheah and Joxer in the act of KISSING! She asks just exactly what is going on here and Rheah says "Kissing. You should try it!" (much enthusiasm displayed here). Well, Cyanne is not favorably impressed and drags Joxer out by his rope. Rheah is put in stocks, too, and now Joxer has to fight the queen (Gab) to the death.

Gab is again in the steam room, all alone. She is worrying about being a good queen and doing the things that are right. Xena enters, and tells her that she read all of Gab's scrolls. Gab is floored by this, and Xena says that she promised Gab that she would read them someday. She tells Gab that she will be a very good queen and she hoped that she would be happy there. Then she asks about Joxer's upcoming fight to the death with Gab.

Rheah apologizes to Joxer for getting him into such a mess. She asks him if he thinks she's pretty and he (in usual bumbling style) says NO. He's in serious need of a shrink....

Cyanne brings Joxer the accused to meet Gabrielle, who says that she will honor tradition, but will appoint someone to fight in her place. She appoints Xena.

NOW the drug-induced writings commence: (I swear, they really did this)

There is a wrestling ring, set up for the match between Joxer and Xena. Xena enters first and does her big, bad-ass talk of how she's going to annhilate Joxer. Then, Joxer enters and describes how he will destroy Xena. Lots of big talk, as wrestling matches in modern-day life get.... the fight is on. Xena beats Joxer down, then chokes him. She taunts him with a WET WILLIE and sticks her finger in her mouth and sticks finger in Joxer's ear! This almost kills him. But just before he expires he gets Xena down in the ropes and chokes her out in them. She escapes, hits on Joxer and he hits her back, and she does a flying head scissors which throws Joxer to the canvas. Now, she's stomped him half to death, and puts the PINCH on him. The crowd cheers, but someone says that he's still moving. So she pounds him in the chest and he stops moving. Someone else says that he's still breathing so she makes him stop breathing. Someone else says that his heart is still beating. Well, she makes his heart stop beating.

They announce that Joxer is dead. Now, our hero Xena UNDOES all of the pinches, punches, etc and Joxer is OK again. Cyanne calls a foul, but Xena says that it is legal, because he was PRONOUNCED dead. Just because he came back to life doesn't count!!

Cyanne wants Gab to do something differently, but Gab says there has been too much of this punishment going around lately. Cyanne says that she did this with only the best intentions of the tribe in mind. She then asks to be allowed to leave the tribe. Gab denies that request, and says that Cyanne loves the tribe and the others, and that they need her there as their new queen. Cyanne is overjoyed and crowd cheers.

As the show closes, we see Xena, Gabrielle, Eve, and Joxer on their blankets, with Xena and Gab playing with Eve. Xena asks Gab if she will miss being queen. Gab says that she must be kidding since the mud and howling at the moon go along with this....She asks Xena where they might be headed now. Xena says that she's thought of a cruise down the Nile in mind, with wrestling crocodiles.....

OK, I enjoyed this episode. It was kind of cute, and Joxer wasn't as obnoxious as usual. The sexual references were funny, too. I still contend that the writers use drugs.

The End

-shadow warrior