By Professor King of Des Moines University
The Dorks, inhabitants of the semi-mythical land of Dorkshire (approximating to the areas of modern day Derbyshire and Yorkshire), according to the populist propaganda of the present dictators of this officially unrecognised state, first appear on the pages of history at some point in the distant past. The so-called "experts" of Dorkshire history - i.e. Alex and Graham - are extremely cagey about the Dork past. We have yet to learn from these erstwhile scholars precisely when the Dorks lived, what happened to them for so long, and what their culture and society was like. The only clue is the near-universal emphasis on "t'pit" (a Dorkshire linguistic aberration, meaning "the pit", or coal mine), which tends to dominate all discussions on the Dorkshire past or, indeed, present.
This reluctance to state any real facts has led many to scoff at the racial theories of Alex and Graham, or at least question the validity of their policies. But there were Dorks in the British Isles, and there remain traces of them. Why have we not heard more of this from the Dorkshire Leadership? The answer is simple.
If the truth were to come out, it would destroy them.
