The Formal Collar
What is a formal collar?
A formal collar should never be given without deep thought, consideration and time. A Dominant offers this collar and a submissive accepts it as a firm show of their deep commitment to one another. This collar should never be offered nor accepted without a firm sense of devotion and loyalty, powered by trust and respect being present. This collar is greatly respected in the real world of D/s and BDSM. It is a formalization and recognition of the total commitment that has developed between Dominant and submissive. Those in the lifestyle will honor this collar as the vanilla world honors the commitment of a wedding ring. Often this collar is accompanied by a marriage proposal though this may come much later for some. It is most often an expression of desire to make this relationship a long-term/permanent/life time commitment. By accepting this collar, a submissive is freely promising her total submission to the Dominant, perhaps for life. The Dominant in turn is promising to take total responsibility for the submissive in like fashion.
A Formal collar is traditionally black leather or metal adorned with brass or silver decoration chosen by the Dominant. This collar is extremely special to the Dominant and submissive and should be designed specifically for the submissive. A collar worn by a previous submissive is never appropriate as a Formal collar.
A Formal collar is a deep commitment and should be respected by all in the lifestyle. A Dominant or submissive who disrespects a formal collar by pursuing either shows disrespect not only for the Dominant and submissive involved but, for the basic tenants of our lifestyle, and themselves. Such participants are labeled by all who are aware of their behavior.
Though all collars may be given during a special ceremony, it is most frequent to find a Formal collaring celebrated with close friends within the community. This special event may even be shared with some vanilla friends who are accepting of the couples lifestyle. Often the collar is given in a private ceremony between Dominant and submissive and then a public collaring follows later to celebrate with friends. This is a day filled with emotion for both Dominant and submissive.