The Formal Collar
What is a formal collar?
A formal collar should never be given without deep thought,
consideration and time. A Dominant offers this collar and a submissive accepts
it as a firm show of their deep commitment to one another. This collar should
never be offered nor accepted without a firm sense of devotion and loyalty,
powered by trust and respect being present. This collar is greatly respected in
the real world of D/s and BDSM. It is a formalization and recognition of the
total commitment that has developed between Dominant and submissive. Those in
the lifestyle will honor this collar as the vanilla world honors the commitment
of a wedding ring. Often this collar is accompanied by a marriage proposal
though this may come much later for some. It is most often an expression of
desire to make this relationship a long-term/permanent/life time commitment. By
accepting this collar, a submissive is freely promising her total submission to
the Dominant, perhaps for life. The Dominant in turn is promising to take total
responsibility for the submissive in like fashion.
A Formal collar is traditionally black leather or metal adorned
with brass or silver decoration chosen by the Dominant. This collar is
extremely special to the Dominant and submissive and should be designed
specifically for the submissive. A collar worn by a previous submissive is
never appropriate as a Formal collar.
A Formal collar is a deep commitment and should be respected by
all in the lifestyle. A Dominant or submissive who disrespects a formal collar
by pursuing either shows disrespect not only for the Dominant and submissive
involved but, for the basic tenants of our lifestyle, and themselves. Such
participants are labeled by all who are aware of their behavior.
Though all collars may be given during a special ceremony, it is
most frequent to find a Formal collaring celebrated with close friends within
the community. This special event may even be shared with some vanilla friends
who are accepting of the couples lifestyle. Often the collar is given in a
private ceremony between Dominant and submissive and then a public collaring
follows later to celebrate with friends. This is a day filled with emotion for
both Dominant and submissive.
