Collar of Consideration
The 'Collar of Consideration' is
by tradition, a leather collar. The traditional collar is blue. This is the
tradition of the Old Guard. It has become acceptable for this collar to be represented
by a bracelet, necklace, anklet or even a belly chain. It is the choice of the
Dominant, who takes into consideration, His taste, as well as any possible
limitations the submissive may have. These limitations may include work,
family, school or even a possible medical condition that prohibits the wearing
of a traditional leather collar. It is however advantageous to remain with the
traditional color blue collar, in that it is recognized by the D/s community,
and is more visible, therefore more likely to be heeded by others who may have
interests in the same submissive.
This collar though not a permanent
bond, should not be offered without careful thought and intent by the Dominant.
The offering of a Collar of Consideration represents the Dominants desire to
pursue a deeper relationship with the submissive to whom it is offered. It is
by no means meant to be used, as a tool to convince a submissive to temporarily
submit to the Dominants wishes. It is a promise to seriously consider
moving to deeper levels of commitment. They will no longer be considered simply
casual acquaintances or even simply play partners. This collar represents
a beginning relationship to be respected.
The submissive before accepting this
collar should also treat it with the same careful thought as it is offered.
Remember you are making a commitment. It takes work to truly get to know one
another and you are committing to this effort. Upon acceptance of this collar,
it is understood that the two will move into a more meaningful relationship,
one that explores their compatibility, needs, and desires. It should be clear
to other Dominants and submissives that this is a relationship and boundaries
are to be respected. Honorable Dominants will not pursue this submissive
as long as she wears the collar. To pursue a collared submissive, would be
considered dishonorable and would cause the Dominant to lose respect among the
community. One who would do such a thing would be considered a player at best
and very likely would be avoided by all honorable members of the community.
Likewise, a submissive pursuing the Dominant would greatly dishonor herself and
show a lack of respect for either the Dominant or her sister submissive. This
is not a permanently binding collar, though should be treated with just as much
respect as the two continue on their journey of exploration.
The collar of consideration has been
likened to a pre-engagement ring in comparison to the vanilla world. Just as
with a pre-engagement, either party may decide after careful consideration,
that the relationship is not meeting their needs. Often a time frame is
pre-arranged between Dominant and submissive to ensure the relationship is
given a chance to grow. At this stage of collaring the submissive may make the
decision just as freely as the Dominant to end the relationship. Upon ending
this relationship the submissive should remove and hand deliver the collar to
the Dominant. The collar should be purchased or made by the Dominant; this is
His collar, His property and should be returned to Him, immediately upon the
submissives release. What if the Dominant should refuse to accept the collar?
It is the submissives responsibility to do all she can to personally deliver
it. If this proves to be impossible, she may then keep it. To keep a Dominants
collar after being un-collared for any reason other then stated is considered
very disrespectful.
