My One True Love 2; The Pain; Part 2

I sit down on my hotel bed and watch my best friend, Nick Carter, sleep. His face has a troubled look and I know he is dreaming of Lisa, again. I sigh as he murmurs something in his sleep.

For the last year Nick has had problems sleeping. I know he sees her in his dreams, probably re-lives her tragic death. I close my eyes as I remember that night.

The seven of them walked out to the limo but before getting in, Lisa looks around. Her eyes widen at the sight of a pizza place right next door.

"Boy am I hungry!" she exclaims.

Nick smiles, "We'll have the driver stop. Come on, get in."

Lisa shakes her head, "No, I'll go over and order a quick pizza. Wait for me!"

Before Nick or the others can stop her, she is jogging over to Pizza Hut. I turn to Brian and start to say something when AJ's loud scream of, "LISA! WATCH OUT!!" stops him dead. He whirls around to see a car racing towards Lisa, his love.

"LISA!!" Nick screams.

Lisa, having heard the two, stops running and turns. She sees the car and lets out a heart shattering scream. The driver sees her but too late. Nick and Brian jet towards her, AJ racing ahead of them.

The car, still speeding, collides with Lisa and her scream stops as she falls under the car. The car flies by and hits a tree as the driver tries desperately to stop it. AJ reaches her first, tears running down his face. Tiffany collapses into Kevin's arms as Howie calls 911. Nick kneels beside his fallen lover and touches her cheek. Blood covers her beautiful brown hair and her eyes are closed. Blood covers her white dress.

"NO!!!!!" AJ screams. Brian drops beside her and checks for a pulse. Nick stars at him, disbelieving.

Lisa stirs and opens her beautiful brown eyes, "Nick…?"

Nick looks down at her, tears falling. "Yes?"

AJ kicks the wall, not caring that he probably broke his toe. A loud curse escapes his lips. Brian squeezes her hand.

Lisa's eyes flutter, "I'm…s-sorry…I…s-should…h-have…t-to-told….you…so- sooner…"

Nick shakes her gently, "Told me what?!"

Her eyes close and Nick's shake snaps them open, "A…ask…B…B-Rok…or…AJ…" her eyes close, "I…I…l…love…you…" her lips let out a small sigh and she goes limp in Nick's arms.

AJ turns and shows the tears streaming down his face. "Dammit!"

Nick lets out a loud scream, his whole body cold. "LISA!!!! NO!!!!" he lets his tears fall as he buried his face in her stomach. Howie came and gently pulls him away as the ambulance pulls up. Nick reached for his fallen lover but Howie's arms are strong.

I shake as I remember the horror I felt as I watched her die. When AJ screamed her name, my stomach tightened and I felt freezing cold. All I wanted to do was turn time back and force Lisa to stay. Now it is too late and still I feel guilty. Maybe if I had tried harder to stop her then maybe she'd still be alive today…

I feel tears form as I remember my first time ever seeing Lisa. I had thought that she was a gorgeous girl and had had hopes of dating her. Then I saw Nick's attraction to her and decided to keep my desires a secret. Her brown eyes had had a hint of hazel and as the year with her progressed, the hazel grew deeper, though it was obvious that Lisa thought they were brown and nothing else. Her hair grew longer and was down past her waist when she died. I know she would have made a wonderful mother.

Nick's sudden cry brings me from my thoughts. He is kicking in his bed and screaming. I make out the words, "LISA!! WAIT, COME BACK!!"

I rush to him and shake him hard. "Nick, Nick! Wake up!" a hard slap on the cheek finally wakes him and he sits with a start. Nick breathes fast and sweat covers his face.

"Brian?" he asks.

I nod, "Yes, I'm right here, Frack."

He sighs with relief and shivers, pulling his knees up to his chin. "God…"

"You have that dream again?"

He nods, "Yeah…"

I sigh and give him a brotherly hug, "Nick, you have to try to forget about her."

Nick stares at his toes and speaks softly, "I can't Frick. I love her too much. Sometimes I think that if I continue to pretend that she is still alive, she WILL be. You know? I keep telling myself that she is away on vacation and that soon we will be together." A tear falls down his pale face.

"Nick, you've got to stop! You're going to end up killing yourself!" I cry, shaking him.

Nick shakes his head, "B-Rok, this pain is too much…god! I need her so much! I miss the feel of her in my arms, the taste of her mouth, the softness of her skin! She's all I could ever ask of a woman and then much, much more! I love her so much it hurts inside!"

I sob as I watch him shake with sorrow. His sapphire eyes are sickeningly pale and his blond hair is limp. I shake, "Nick, you would never think of hurting yourself, would you?"

Nick shakes his head, "I don't know, Bri, I don't understand my thoughts anymore. Sure, I can still sing and dance but inside I feel empty, not like myself. I feel sick all the time, like a part of me is missing." He looked up at me, his eyes emotionless, "I honestly feel as though I am dying."

I shake him, "No! Nick, I'm here for you! don't you ever say that again, man! Pull yourself together! Dammit!"

Nick nods and hugs his knees tighter, "Why did He have to take her from me?"

"God does what he feels is for the best, Nick." I say softly.

Nick just smirks, "Sure."

A knock on the door makes us both jump. AJ walks in and sits beside us. "Wassup guys?"

Nick looks down and I sigh, "Nick feels as though he shouldn't be living because Lisa is dead."

AJ shakes Nick, "Dammit, Nick!"

Nick shoves AJ away and stands, "You guys have no idea how this feels! You've never loved someone dearly then lost her after only one short year with her! You've never been told that you were going to be a father after the mother and child are dead!" he breaks off into sobs and leans weakly against the wall.

I stand and grab his arm, "Nick, I almost died once, too, remember? I know God only does what he feels best! He didn't take Lisa from you! Her time was up!"

Nick shoves me away and I gap at him in shock. In all our years of friendship he has never shoved me away! The look in his eyes is a mixed one of pain, anger, rage, and sorrow. My heart breaks to see my best friend this way. AJ leaves the room and returns with Howie and Kevin.

"Nick," Kevin says calmly, "Take a deep breath. She isn't worth it."

The look Nick gives Kevin is one of pure hatred. I mean it, if looks could kill, Kevin would have died instantly. "Fuck you, Kevin! You have no clue as to what I feel right now! Everywhere I look I see her!"

Kevin grabs Nick and slaps his face, "Get a grip, man!"

Nick punches Kevin square in the nose and I gasp as blood pours down his throat. Kevin staggers back and falls onto a bed. Nick stares in shock as Howie helps Kevin. I stare at my best friend in utter amazement. There really is something wrong with him!

Nick whips his shirt off and covers Kevin's nose. "Oh, God, man! I'm so sorry, Kevin!"

Kevin just nods as he wipes the blood away, "I don't think it's broken."

Nick stares at him, "God, what got into me? What the hell is going on?"

I stare at Nick as he touches his head, a dazed and confused look on his face. Aaron, Nick's younger brother, walks in.

"Guys, time to go for the sound check…Kevin, what happened?"

Kevin smiles, "Nothing, I fell into the wall. I'm fine."

Howie nods, "Yeah, let's go guys."

~~~~~~~~~~

An hour later we are getting ready for the concert. Nick is brushing his blond hair and I smile while watching him. He is so careful that his hair looks good for the audience.

"Ready, Frack?" I ask.

Nick glances at me and flashes a grin, "Hell yeah!"

We laugh and walk towards the stage. Nick trips on an empty beer can and curses softly. "Damn cans, who's is it?"

I think a minute, "I don't think it was one of ours. I haven't had a drink in a month, neither has anyone else, have you?"

Nick shakes his head, "Nope."

I smile and we meet up with the others. AJ is humming something quietly and Kevin is playing with the cuff of his shirt. Howie is glancing at the stage.

"Nervous?" I ask, stopping beside my tall cousin.

Kevin nods and the music for 'Larger Than Life' comes on. Nick winks and runs out. I follow him, followed by AJ, Howie, and then Kevin. We spring into the dance and Nick works the crowd. I notice that he avoids all winks from the girls and just gives out a polite smile. I feel awful for him but I also know that I can't stop to give him a friendly hug. Instead I 'accidentally' bump into him and give him a knowing smile. He winks and does his solo part of 'I Want It That Way'. As the night progresses, Nick lightens up a little more. During 'We've Got It Going On' he even grabbed my arm and we did a silly little dance. Then, the part I dreaded, Nick's solo came.

The rest of us walk backstage as Nick's music starts. He walks up to the mike and closes his eyes. Nick glances at me before starting.

"Open up your heart to me. And say what's on your mind, oh yes. I know that we have been through so much pain. But I still need you in my life this time, and,"

As he sang, I noticed that the song had more of a sorrow meaning in it, he sounded genuinely upset. "I need you tonight. I need you right now. I know deep within my heart. It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right. I really need you tonight.

"I figured out what to say to you. But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do. And I know in time that you will understand That what we have is so right this time, and,

"I need you tonight. I need you right now. I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right

"All those endless times we tried to make it last forever more. And baby I know I need you. I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right. I really need you, oh.

"I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby. I need you right now - It's gotta be this, it's gotta be this. I know deep within my heart. No, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or it's right. All I know is baby, I really need you tonight." The song ends and the applause is deafening. Nick smiles but I see tears fall down his face as he opens his eyes.

The music for 'The One' blasts on and instantly Nick is dancing around, swaying his hips and having fun. I run into him once and see a smile on his lips. I grin and think to myself, 'My little Frack'.

After 'The One' we do 'Don't Want You Back' and then end the concert. During our last show, Nick actually walks up and waves to a couple of fans. They are older women, not young, love struck, fans. I sigh and have to admit that it's a start.

Backstage, fans wait for us eagerly. Nick forces a smile when a fan tosses him a beanie baby. One girl, a girl with long blond hair and brown eyes, looks sad. She motions for Nick and Nick asks me to go over with him. We walk over.

"How can I help you?" Nick asks.

The girl's eyes are sad, "My name is Deena,"

"Hi, Deena." Nick says.

"That's a pretty name." I say, smiling.

"Thanks, B-Rok, but Nick, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about L…Lisa…" tears filled her brownish-green eyes. She turns and walks away.

"Wait!" Nick calls, running after her. Her grabs her arm and turns her around, "Who are you?"

Deena smiles softly, "I am an old friend of Lisa's. We grew up together until she moved away. We were best friends. I know what Shauntae said, that you two were dating, and I no longer speak to her."

Nick smiles softly, "I really miss her…"

Deena nods, "Yeah, she was a really sweet person. There were times when I hated her, wanted to strangle her, but when it came right down to it, Lisa was everything a friend could ask for. She listened, kept secrets…"

Nick forces down tears and glances at me. I walk over and touch Deena's shoulder. "Nick has taken Lisa's death pretty hard."

"So have I, I cried for a month when I heard." Deena says softly, "But look, I gotta go. My boyfriend is waiting for me." With that the shorter girl walks away.

I look at Nick, "You okay, Frack?"

Nick nods slowly, "I think maybe…gosh I miss her."

I nod and wrap an arm around my best friends shoulders. "Yes, Chaos, I know." I lead him back to the other three Backstreet Boys.


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