Rating- * * (2/5)
Believe it or not, I was actually quite disappointed with this film. I mean, I’m sure you’re not surprised that I didn’t like it but you may be surprised that I had higher expectations for a horror film called House of 1000 Corpses that was written and directed by Rob Zombie. To most people, that information alone would be enough to discourage anyone from seeing it, but not me. Oh no…I always have high expectations for upcoming movies, which could be a major reason that I am disappointed so often. Anyways, there were a few reasons I was excited about this movie. First, there was quite a controversy leading up to its eventual release. The film was originally produced by Universal and was set to be released 2 years ago but when Rob Zombie finally turned in his final cut to the studio, the executives were so appalled that the studio refused to release the film. The project bounced around in movie limbo for a while until finally it came upon the compulsive gambler of movie studios, Lions Gate Films. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the studio system, I promise to go into it with you in a later review but basically, Lions Gate is a studio that has built its reputation by releasing risky, hard to market films that appeal to the ever-growing art house crowd. After hearing about the film’s journey toward release I began to wonder how a film could possibly so offensive as to be shelved by one studio but proudly released by another, and with only an R-rating. What I found was quite an interesting little morsel of American cinema. Interesting, but not good. What Rob Zombie has essentially tried to do here is create a stunning homage to a genre of film that has clearly had a lot of influence on him, the slasher film, or as some call it the “gore-fest” film. The slasher film is a genre that is very specific to the late ‘70s and early ‘80s films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the original A Nightmare on Elm Street. This genre is distinct from the horror film genre (which would include Halloween and The Shining) in that a horror film is meant to tell a suspenseful, horrifying tale while a slasher film is meant to…well, it’s just meant to disturb you. The motivation behind slasher film is almost sadistic in that the filmmaker’s only objective is to leave a scarring, disturbing impression on the mind of the audience, rather than try to communicate with them. There are those who think that this kind of film is a way for the filmmaker to project his anger or rage onto an audience, like a child drawing a disturbing picture with their crayons, but I’m not here to write film theory. This is the genre that inspired Rob Zombie and other macabre artists and his new film is a brilliantly made homage to the slasher genre. The only problem is, slasher film is not good. It’s like someone doing an homage to a Puff Daddy video; why pay tribute to something that really has no value to society? The plot is almost identical to the film that it is clearly the most inspired by, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (which incidentally is being remade for release later this year). Four kids on a road trip stop at a strange museum run by a man named Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) that features recreations of famous murderers and psychos. While at the museum, the kids learn of the legend of Dr. Satan, a demented killer who performed sick experiments on human subjects until he was lynched by the local townspeople. However, his body was mysteriously found to be missing a few days later and no one has ever solved the case. So of course, without any inhibitions whatsoever, the four teens decide to go visit the site where Dr. Satan was killed. Now before I continue what do you think happens next? If you didn’t just say “they get a flat tire in the rain” then you must not watch many movies. So who should come along but a beautiful, scantily clad blonde who offers to let the kids come up to her house while her brother fixes their car. The other inhabitants of the house, in keeping with the slasher tradition are as follows: an old woman who wears too much makeup and shows too much cleavage, a father figure who has stringy blonde hair and a bony face, a big wrestler-size man who wears a lot of fur, and of course a mentally retarded, physically deformed giant. These characters appear in almost every horror film to date and are played with absolute creepiest and most uncomfortable demeanors possible. As the weird family goes about celebrating Halloween, we grow more and more uncomfortable with our surroundings, placing ourselves in the kids’ shoes as Zombie intends for us to inadvertently do. As all of this has been going on, we are made aware of several missing cheerleaders being tortured and killed in the house by the father, so that we know all along that this family is evil and is probably going to kill the kids. All the same, we can’t help rooting for the poor kids; after all, it wasn’t there fault they ended up here. But of course, things don’t go very well for the kids and about a quarter of the way into the movie, the torture begins. The kids are put through a horrifying, bloody, gory gauntlet as we are forced to watch and be disturbed. The film’s only high point is when one of the teens’ father shows up at the house with a police officer during the day to check out the house. We have no fear at this point and we even have some hope that the kids might be rescued but of course, there is too much movie left for that. The sequence does however provide the film’s most accomplished shot when one of the characters is running away from the madman in slow-motion as a campy country song is playing. We see him put his hands behind his head, kneel down and wait for the madman to pull the trigger…and wait…and wait. All told, the shot lasts about 2 whole minutes without cutting, a bold and gutsy idea for a shot as we are held in complete suspense as to whether or not the man will be shot, or if so when the trigger will be pulled. Things like this show that Zombie is clearly a talented filmmaker but why put your efforts into something so trivial and worthless except for pure shock value? Anyway, the characters all meet a bloody end one by one with only one left in the end as she walks away bloodied and tired but happy she made it, and if you’ve ever seen a slasher film you know what happens after that. I can’t say that this film is entirely worthless because of two reasons. Firstly, I will admit I really was scared at many points in the film; not scared like a Hitchcock movie but more like I would be in a good haunted house. Secondly, Zombie is extremely ambitious in his filmmaking here and he accomplishes what he set out to do. The reason I will not recommend this film however, is that what Zombie set out to do is not very admirable nor is it really particularly difficult to do. At the end of the film, I wanted to go ask Zombie “why did you do that to me?” Why would anyone go to all the trouble of writing and directing a movie that does nothing more than show me horrible, sadistic images of death and torture? There are two reasons one can have for justifying the making of a film. One is to convey something meaningful about the human condition. The other reason is to entertain. Never should any art be aimed at disturbing an audience for the sake of disturbance. It’s an empty cause and this is an utterly empty film experience. If you are one of those people who disagrees with me and really love slasher films, I can highly recommend this film to you. This is the Citizen Kane of slasher films. If, on the other hand, you are more like me, a normal average moviegoer or a hardcore film lover then do yourself a huge favor and don’t expose yourself to this garbage. This movie, above all else, proves the need for an end to the slasher film once and for all.