Rating- * * * (3/5)
Before I say anything about this movie, it should be made clear to the reader that this film is a mess. A huge mess. A mess so bizarre and inconsistent that I honestly have no idea how it came to be. The question then is this: is it a fun mess? The answer will be different depending on who you are asking. Confused? Not nearly as much as I am. Let’s start with the plot. The story is based on Stephen King’s novel, which I have not read but might just for peace of mind after seeing this film. King has written the stories for a number of movies ranging from the horrifying (like The Shining and Carrie) to the downright touching (The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile). What seems to have happened here is an attempt to combine those two forces in one story. The film opens with four men named Beaver, Jonesy, Pete and Devlin (played by Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant and Thomas Jane, respectively) all going about a normal day in their lives, or as normal a day as they can have since each of them is blessed (or cursed) with psychic abilities. While the abilities have their advantages, they end up becoming rather cumbersome on the men and after finding themselves scrawling “SSDD” simultaneously (which apparently stands for “same sh*t, different day”) the men all decide to go and visit the source of their psychic abilities, Douglas “Duddits” Cavell, an autistic man who endowed the heroes with their gifts after they rescued him as boys. Before they can visit Duddits, one of the men is hit by a car and while in the hospital, receives a message from Duddits that he does not understand. Flash forward to a few months later and we join the men on a hunting trip in a cabin in Northern Maine. The men reminisce about old times and join in a discussion that brings us perhaps the most interesting cinematic device of the film. Jonesy describes to the guys his memory warehouse, a figurative representation of his mind in which all his memories are stored in boxes on endless rows of shelves. Jonesy explains that, like any warehouse, he has to throw away things as he gets older to make room for new stuff, but he keeps a special room for those things that are most important to him. This memory warehouse is one of the most interesting concepts in a film I’ve ever seen, and they probably could have made an entire movie based around that concept alone. Alas, it is but one of a hundred strange ideas piled into this movie, but is by far the most interesting. Anyway, the movie now takes a turn from interesting into bizarre, and really almost silly. The men discover a hitchhiker that is feeling ill and, as it turns out, is being inhabited by a disgusting alien creature that will eventually make its way out of the man’s body through the worst possible passageway. Well, second-worst, but it’s still incredibly disgusting. And of course, the alien is creepy, violent and gross which leads to the question that my mentor Roger Ebert so accurately posed: how can a creature made mostly of teeth and slime and with appetite as its major motivation be so advanced as to build a spaceship and fly to Earth? These are things that don’t so much matter in a movie that is as twisted as this one but good science fiction should have answers to any question. As if the plot isn’t already ridiculously outlandish, we now join a storyline involving an elite military unit commanded by, who else, Morgan Freeman. That’s right, Morgan Freeman. How did he get involved with this movie? Rest assured, I will be among the first to buy his biography hoping for some explanation when it’s released, but until then we will never know. The military, as in all alien movies, is out to kill these “sons of bitches”, “bastards” or whatever other names they can come up with for them, even thought they know nothing about the creatures nor have they attempted to communicate with them; they just know they’re evil and need to be killed. I won’t go into much more detail because 1) I don’t want to give away the ending, which actually will surprise you, and 2) I don’t want to confuse you anymore than you already are. As I said before, this movie is an inconsistent mess but oddly that doesn’t keep me from enjoying it. There is so much I like about this movie that I was kept interested by the elements that I liked, even though they didn’t exactly mesh right in with the rest of the film. The acting is all fantastic, especially from Damian Lewis as Jonesy, who for much of the film is possessed by another character, and from former-New-Kids-on-the-Block-member Donnie Wahlberg as Duddits. All kidding aside, Wahlberg has shown himself to be quite a tremendous character actor in the past few years, particularly with his role in The Sixth Sense as a disturbed, suicidal psychic, and he is very believable here in a role that if mishandled could induce uncomfortable laughter, the worst thing to hear in a movie theater. I also liked a lot of the story ideas, although there was so much squeezed in that the story could probably have seen more success as a television mini-series, as is the case with many of King’s other novels. So what’s the final verdict on this film? Now, that’s a tough question. I can’t recommend this film to just anyone because the truth is, it doesn’t work as a film. However, there are quite a few elements that make this film worth watching anyway and perhaps for a guy who’s into sci-fi, likes Stephen King stories, and likes high-concept film this film could be pretty entertaining. If you simply must see it, tread carefully and don’t expect much, that way you will be able to fully enjoy the good stuff without trying to justify it within an otherwise messy movie. In the end, I really did care whether or not the worm made it into the sewer system and I suppose that’s enough to tip my thumb slightly upwards.