-other people's stray thoughts

When you walk up 5 flights of stairs at four in the morning, there is definately a hooker involved. -Rodney Dangerfield

Lick a stranger, say you are from Bosnia, and that over there it is a sign of respect. -jerry

Time, tide, and hookers wait for no man. -Rodney Dangerfield

Play catch with a seeing-eye dog... while he's working. -jerry

A person that hates children and dogs can't be all bad... -W.C.Fields

People seldom live up to their baby pictures. -Rodney Dangerfield

I like little girls... cute ones, around 18, 19, and 20. -W.C.Fields

The only normal people are the ones you don't know too well. -Rodney Dangerfield

Men who refuse to wear condoms only deserve to be fucked by other men who refuse to wear condoms. -scotti

Never tell your wife that she's lousy in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion. -Rodney Dangerfield

Heaven is a place you can go and drink a lot of draft beer and it don't make you fat, you can cheat on your wife and she don't get mad, you get a beautiful female chauffer with nice, hard tits (real ones), there are motercycle jumps that you don't miss, and you don't need a tee time. -Evel Knieval

Cheaters never win, and winners never prosper. -joel

"If automobiles had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside." -- Robert Cringely

Critics are the little people who come onto the battlefield after the war and shoot all the wounded. -George Roy Hill