-Pirate's Response-

    A woman does, indeed, have a conspiracy. Maybe not as evil as the one that's been described in your... diatribe (look it up) but still, it is a conspiracy. We have to, for various reasons, but perhaps not what you think.

    Women are bitches, yes, we're aware of this. Some of us pride ourselves in this(*), some of us don't. And some of us AREN'T bitches. We just get caught in the backlash. Just like not all men are pompous arrogant egotistical pricks. (Not ALL....) You want to talk about a conspiracy? I'll give you a conspiracy... if women have a lot of sex, they're sluts. (This ISN'T a good term....) But if men do, they're "awesome." (Not to mention that we can't pee standing up. Obviously, God is a man.) Men don't carry the children, they lose weight quickly, and they take pride in a big gut. (Come on, just watch football.)

    The reason we use all of our "traps" to get men, though, is because otherwise we would be alone. Because we can't (generally) count on women for companionship. Every now and then you'll find a friend, but usually women are catty (gossipy) bitches. Men may brag to their friends and stretch the truth. That's not so bad. It's expected. But women blatantly make up lies about each other.(*) And women (some) lie to men to boost their egos. Ya'll are some SENSITIVE fuckers when you can't... complete your task!!! So since it's not easy being a chick, we have to do whatever we can to stay ahead.

    PMS is one week out of the month when women have the excuse to act like men do every single day.

* See Scotti's letter.

    All men that have a lot of sex are not called sluts. Most men that have a lot of sex are called "infected" at some point.

    The pissing standing up thing can also be argued the other way (men piss standing up so that we seem more animalistic instead of sophisticated, obviously god is a women who doesn't like men)

    I personally don't get "SENSITIVE", and I haven't had a chick yet that had a reason to complain that they didn't "complete their task". (truth, not bragging)

    Finally, PMS may be annoying but I don't lash out at anybody in hearing distance, usually the one that cares the most, everytime I'm in minor or major pain. (this coming from a person that only got slightly irritated when my wife ran me over with her car.)


Scotti's Response

-A Male Conspiracy-

*note: anything with an "*" preceding it is further clarified at the bottom by me.
    There is nothing quite like working at an amusement park for five years, getting robbed blind, kicked in the mouth, and a thousand other things, to open your eyes to the way of life.

    I tends to make you highly cynical (notice how a women spells that word right) and helps to work up an addiction to everything but men.

    I work with the boat-dock-slut, and I can attest to the fact that he (*if not all the women he sees) is a slut.

    Men tend to believe that you are not supposed to have any feelings or beliefs. When these "suddenly" pop up, you are automatically a Bitch. The only way to keep a man happy is to keep a man happy is to keep a man happy is to keep your legs open and your mouth shut.

    **Joe's (spydur's) problem is that he picks Bitches that can't keep either one shut.

    Men lie on a daily basis and don't have the ability to look at a female without seeing her as a prospective lay. That is the male conspiracy. "Fuck everyone as fast as you can, nomatter what you have to say or do to get it"

-Men Exist Only to Fuck Women-

    In fact, everything in our society points them in this direction. From beer comercials to the Playboy channel, and women help them along. With exactly the things Joe named in his rant; make-up, clothes, hair-spray, breast- implants, etc. Is this what you really want? Do you like being looked at as "The lay of the week"? Being treated this way is what leads women to wanting more that your attention and love. They want your money, your car, they want you to pay for their implants too. At this point, you can't be pissed off for this type of behavior, you put yourself in this situation. Anyway, most women deserve these things just for putting up with you.

-Men Have Always Corrupted The Law-

    Not just corrupted, men usually ARE the law. Let's face it, we live in a patriarchal society. Men control everything. We deserve what we get in divorce settlements, it is our right. Especially when we get the kids. All you did was stick your dick in. We did the rest. Also take into account that the usual reason for the divorce is because He's sticking his dick somewhere he shouldn't.

-Women's Rights-

    Women's Rights will never work because of girls like Brittney Spears. Girls like me should just give up.

    I need not comment on the female conspiracy part of his rant. We all know who built this "Great Nation", need I say more. Men don't need a conspiracy they already have a whole world to play with. (while fucking whoever they please) If a woman wants a piece of it, she has to marry someone in power. Not very many women wish to stoop so low to gain so little. Female conspiracy in deed.

-Here it Will End-

    It is now genetically possible to procreate without men, and to make only females. We should begin to do so as soon as possible only saving one male per houshold for yard work and mechanical abilities. Of course this means all inept males will be promptly put to death.


-A Footnote-

Some males refuse to use condoms. Here is what I have to say about that:

    Any man who refuses to use a condom only deserves to be fucked by other men who refuse to wear condoms.

*this was a blind reference to holly, danielle, jackie, and stacy
**another stray reference to holly, danielle, jackie, and stacy. as if you couldn't tell by now, scotti doesn't like any of them.