This is what Bloved says...fuck life, love, liberty and all that American Way shitola. That just ain't happenin' here in this mind, babe. Frankly, life sucks, this country sucks and everyone thinks it's o-b k-b. Well, here's the gospel according to Bloved...

You're born. Normal, natural occurrence, right? Sure it is. Some believe you choose who you're born as, where, when, who your parents are, etc. I say bullshit 'cause seriously, what dumbnuts would pick this??? Huh??? What idiot ass would want to go through all the shit Bloved has been through??? Granted, if it wasn't for the shit, there probably wouldn't be a Bloved but that's beside the point. Anyway, again I ask you, what asshole would make the conscious choice to live in this shit? Not Bloved, baby. Not this bitch! But here she is, right smack dab in the middle of it.

Let's talk about childhood, 'kay? Yeah, I thought it was, 'cause you ain't movin' until you finish reading this 'cause that's the law according to Bloved. You like that don't you? Mmmhmmm, I knew you would. Childhood, what the hell is that? Bloved didn't have no childhood. Bloved came around full grown and freaky about 18 years ago, 'bout 1981 I think it was. That's not really important though. What is important is that she just was. Things got too tough for little miss weepy to handle and Bloved took over. No playin', no friends, no frilly dresses, just jeans, tee shirts and ratty sneakers. That was Bloved. And let me tell you, Bloved could change a diaper, feed a baby, get that baby to sleep, clean the house, cook dinner, wash clothes, feed pets and brush her hair in 2 hours flat. That bitch was movin' don't ya know. Bloved was a superwoman back then. Yeah, baby! But even a superwoman has to sleep every now and then.

Bloved tries not to sleep 'cause when Bloved sleeps that gives the other ones the opportunity to come out and fuck things up. And looky here, I think they done did that pretty well, what about you? But lemme back up a bit 'cause we'll get to the here and now soon enough. Anyway, Bloved sleeps sometimes and when she does, miss weepy or one of the others take charge. Do you know the others? If not, lemme tell you about the ones that Bloved knows. There could be others that hide from Bloved, but she's not sure.

First there's Melissa. She's the weepy bitch. Have you ever heard a weaker, prissier name? Melissa is the one that cries all the time. Sometimes when you look at Bloved you'll notice that her eyes are kinda glassy, bloodshot and puffy. Well, that's thank to that Melissa bitch. She cries. Bloved don't cry. Melissa is also the one that has the damned addictive personality. That bitch is addicted to everything! Before Bloved came around Melissa was already addicted to food. For some reason she got it into her head that food could make everything better. Well it don't, it just makes us all fat and Bloved hates being fat. There's nothing worse than a weepy fat girl, 'cept a weepy fat girl on coke. Yeah, the bitch was addicted to that for awhile too. That was while Bloved was asleep and didn't have a clue as to what was going on. Luckily Missy's (that's another one. I'll get to her in a minute) friend helped to wake Bloved up and put a stop to that one nasty little problem. Missy's friend is Melinda and she's taken to calling herself the nosey fat friend lately but, lemme tell you, if it wasn't for the nosey fat friend then I think Bloved and the girls would be in a lot more trouble than they are.

Okay, back to Melissa and her addictions. Also before Bloved came around, Melissa was already addicted to books. Now that's okay with Bloved 'cause Bloved likes to read too. Books are a great way to blow off steam. Melissa tried reading those trashy romance novels but they always made her more depressed and weepy therefore, she ate. Well, when Bloved came around we found some better things to read. Stephen King is Bloved's favorite. That ugly, neurotic man can write some deep shit if you look deep into the words and Bloved loves to look deep. Musta been '86 when Melissa started reading Daddy King. Then she found Anne Rice and the vampire boys a coupla years ago. Now those vampire boys are sexy, baby. Bloved loves those immortal fuckers, but then Bloved has a few vampiric tendencies of her own dontcha know. Melissa is also addicted to shopping and sex. The sex is Bloved's fault. Bloved tried to replace the food addiction with sex but it didn't work. The Melissa bitch just became addicted to both. At least she ain't doing them both together. That would be too much even for Bloved. Damn!

Then there's Missy. She's the miss know it all perfectionist. The family has been calling the girl Missy for a long time but Missy didn't really feel the need to be her own person until probably around the 3rd grade. Guess that would have been around '82. Bloved was already around by then but she was too busy with other things to worry much about what was going on around the ole schoolhouse so, Missy had to take over in that area. And let me tell ya, take over she did. That lil bitch is smart! She sailed through school. Bloved is kinda proud of her. Bloved can't really find any faults with Missy other than her need to please. Missy took care of the school work while Bloved had fun and Melissa cried. Yeah, Bloved is proud of that one.

Oh yeah, there's one more that you might want to know about. Melinda (Missy's friend) calls her "fun girl." What she doesn't know is that "fun girl" is just Bloved in a good mood. Now ya'll don't get to thinkin' that you're going to hear a lot about this one 'cause Bloved doesn't get in a good mood too often but when she does, oh baby, is it fun.

Okay, hang on a minute and let Bloved think about what she's gonna say next...how about parents? Wanna talk about that? Thinking about the school shootings that happened just the other day in Columbine, Bloved can certainly understand why those boys did what they did. Someone said those kids were "latch-key" kids. That's been the phrase here in the past few years for kinds who are at home by themselves for quite a while each day. Well, Bloved and the gals were latch-key kids and we didn't go shoot nobody. There were lots of fuckin' times when we did want too but we were too scared of jail. Those kids in Columbine killed themselves. Uh uh, Bloved ain't goin' there. Yeah, life sucks and ain't nowhere near fair but there are those times when life can be shall we say soooo fulfilling. Think about it baby, you know what Bloved is talking about.

Anyway, Bloved's home life pretty much sucked. When the parents were there they were either drunk or fighting so they might as well of not been there at all BUT, the parents knew where Bloved and the girls were most of the time and most of the time they knew what we were doing. Bloved said most of the time, ya'll. Hell, Travis was enough to scare the shit outta Bloved and keep her mostly on the straight and narrow. Bloved and Travis had their rounds and spent most of their time wanting to kill each other during the "teen years" but, it all turned out all right. Bloved thought about that whole funky situation about a year back. She thought long and hard about it. Travis did a lot of wrong things. He shouldn't hit Carol but Carol shouldn't push Travis' buttons either so who's to blame? Bloved learned a lot of different things from this situation. She learned to be strong and not take anyone's shit. Now granted a lot of menfolk can't deal with strong women but, baby, if they want Bloved, they better learn to deal with it 'cause Bloved is worth every bit of understanding and a lot more. All things considered, Travis did the best he could and Bloved thinks he did A-okay. At least Bloved knows who to call if she absolutely can not fix things for herself.

Since the parents were always drunk or fighting, we pretty much kept to ourselves. What would've been the point in trying to make friends anyway? Anytime anyone wanted us to do anything either the parents weren't there or they were too tired or they didn't have enough money. Go figure, they could smoke, drink, go to bars, join hunting clubs, etc., but they couldn't do for their daughter. That pissed Bloved off! The whole time this was going on, Bloved took care of the house and the brother so by the time secondary school rolled around and Missy met Michelle and Melinda, Bloved was pretty tired so, she went to sleep for awhile and let Missy and Melissa have the wheel.

Things went pretty well as far as Bloved can tell. They went well right up until Melissa fell in love. Now Bloved told the dumb bitch not to ever, ever, ever do that. Give Melissa a little free time and she finds a new addiction l-o-v-e. How sickening. As distasteful as the subject is, Bloved has some things to say about it. First, like Bloved told Melissa, don't ever do it. If you do, you leave yourself wide open to all sorts of ungroovy shit. Melissa got fucked over that one, babies. She had the glassy look of obsession creeping in. Gave her whole self, her whole heart and what did she end up with? Bad credit and jaded. Ain't that some shit? That's what love will do to ya so, just say NO!

You know, when you're little, everyone tells you the fairy tales about love. Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, all those fucked up lying bitches. Girlfriends, don't believe that line of bull. I'm warning you now. It just don't exist and those that think they've found it are deluding themselves or trying to keep up with the Jones'. Men, women, sheep, whoever or whatever you choose for a partner, it's only good for a couple of things in Bloved's book, and this is Bloved's book. The only thing that partners are good for is for halving the bills and maybe a little under the cover gratification if you're lucky enough to find one that's good at that. Of course there's always masturbation but Bloved craves that physical contact. One of those vampiric thingies Bloved mentioned earlier but that's a story for another day. Bloved's motto is "Use them before they use you and get rid of them before they hook you." It's worked for Bloved and Bloved knows these things.

Anyway, after Melissa fell in love and got screwed, Bloved decided to take over for a little while and have some fun. Enter the cowboy. Now baby, Bloved loves her cowboy's almost as much as she loves her vampboys. Almost, not quite. Bloved thinks it's because they both move in such interesting ways. Most of the time they leave Bloved well satisfied. Ummmhmmm, they do..........sorry, Bloved was fantasizing. Back to the cowboy. Bloved like that cowboy, lemme tell you. He did things for Bloved that Bloved never knew could be done. And that's saying a lot. But, that cowboy started to get his hooks into Bloved so she dropped him. The cowboy thing shook Bloved up and she had to have a break to think it all over so she let Melissa out again. Big fuckin' mistake, ya'll. Bloved should've known better but she wasn't thinking right and just wasn't herself. Enter the freak.

Now don't get me wrong, he wasn't a freak at first. Even Bloved was fooled and that's a hard thing to do, fool Bloved. We all get fooled at some time but that's no consolation when it actually happens to us. Bloved was fooled and Bloved feels like an ass and Bloved is back with a vengeance. Melissa met the freak right after Bloved dumped the cowboy and was on her little spirit quest. The freak, yes of course it's Chris as you know, seemed to be a nice guy. He was polite, sweet and seemed to give a shit but somewhere down the line after Melissa moved us in with him he went nuts. Bloved woke up one day to find herself being slammed against a wall with the freak shouting shit in her face. Now one thing you don't ever fucking do is call Bloved a whore. NEVER, EVER do you call Bloved that. Especially not a fuckin' whore. Uh uh baby, that's where Bloved draws the line. Bloved proceeded to ram her knee right into the freak's crotch. Dropped like a fuckin' ton of bricks he did. Bloved took us right out to the car, slammed the door and put the key into the ignition but, Bloved was still weak. She was still reeling from the come close to love thing with the cowboy. So, Melissa snuck in and took over.

The freak came outta the house while Melissa was sitting in the car bawling her head off and began apologizing. Sorry, sorry, sorry, yadda, yadda, yadda, puke, gag, fuckin' retch. Melissa, the dumb bitch she is believed the freak. Hell, she even married him. Things were okay for a while after than so Bloved thought hey, maybe it was a one time thing and went back to sleep.

Act two when Bloved woke up and was on the floor. The freak hadn't hit Melissa, just knocked her down. Bloved saw red. Bloved remembered seeing Travis hit Carol. Bloved took over. Bloved got up off the floor and claws flew. Bloved was proud of those claw marks on the freak's face. But do you know the stupid bastard grabbed Bloved and threw her on the couch. Can you believe the fucker was that stupid??? Now ya'll, Bloved isn't proud of this next part but extreme situations call for extreme measures. On the coffee table beside the couch was that big huntin' knife that Carol had bought the freak for Christmas. Bloved had that fucker open and sunk into the freaks arm about ½ an inch before she knew what happened. Again, Bloved is not proud of this, if anything she is ashamed. Bloved does not condone violence unless absolutely necessary. In this case, Bloved just acted. Bloved is ashamed of what she did so, give her a fuckin' break but at the time, oh the satisfaction she felt.

Melissa of course just cried. Missy wanted to faint and puke at the same time but Bloved calmed all of them down. Bloved cooled off first. Bloved grabbed a towel and handed it to the freak before he could bleed all over the ugly ass carpet. Bloved told the freak to get in the car. Bloved drove the freak to his big fat assed mama's. Bloved went home.

The freak called later that afternoon while Bloved was napping. Like I said, she has to sleep too. A lot of shit all the time wears Bloved out. Anyway, the freak called and Melissa went and got him. Told you the bitch was addicted to love. Of course it didn't hurt that Melissa's self esteem was negligible at the time either. Thank the freak for that one too. So, when Bloved woke up the freak was home again and Melissa was crying again. Bloved decided that Melissa had to learn this lesson on her own but, Bloved vowed that she'd be the one fighting back. Took Melissa a long mother fuckin' time to learn that lesson.

Bloved has to take a break now. She's been writing since 8:23 am and it's now 1:03 pm. Bloved has a crick in her neck, needs to shit and needs to smoke. Bloved may be back to finish her dissertation or she may have to finish it tomorrow, if you're still interested that is.

Well, Bloved shit, smoked and decided that she doesn't give a damn whether you're still interested or not, she's gonna finish this today 'cause she's on a roll. She's got diet Coke and Cousin Willie's popcorn and she's rarin' to go. In the words of Sonny & Cher, the beat goes on. May God bless Sonny's soul and may Goddess give Cher the strength to go on.

After a long time of standing by the freak with Melissa hiding the pain and Missy pleasing everyone because she was finally married, they got the message. Dave helped. Dave somehow got it through Melissa's hard friggin' head that she deserved better. Dave got it through Missy's head that she was the one that needed to be pleased. Bloved watched. Bloved smiled and Bloved enjoyed the nights with Dave. All the gals started likin' Dave too much. Bloved remembered that feeling from the cowboy and decided it was time to step out. All this happened while the freak was in Army basic training.

Since we were feeling so much better about our self, Bloved decided it was time to get rid of the freak. Bloved filed for divorce. Before the papers could even get to the freak who was training two states over, the freak went AWOL. Can ya'll believe that shit??? Melissa felt sorry for the freak and let him come home. She was strong on one count though. The next morning after the freak had come back she loaded him into her car and took him to the lawyer's office to sign the divorce papers. So, the divorce was final before Halloween. Melissa told the freak that he could stay until he got on his feet. He acted much better and told her that being out there in the Army had changed his whole outlook on life. Guess what? She believe it. Bloved didn't but she stood back and waited.

Sure enough New Year's night the crazy mother started up again. This time he did it in front of Melinda. Melissa was disappointed and embarrassed. Missy was horrified. Bloved was pissed. See, Bloved told you she wasn't "fun girl" that much. All the girls decided enough was enough. They waited while Bloved began to plot and plan. So, Bloved has been thinking this whole time and she finally thinks she has it figured out.

Bloved needs to mention one other purty big thing and then that's the end of this story. Melinda went to work for Jim. Bud and Tim also work for Jim. Confused yet? Bloved decided Melissa and Missy needed to be around a strong personality so she took us to Jim's shop to visit the nosey fat friend, Goddess bless her soul. Bloved saw Tim. Bloved wanted Tim. Bloved got Tim and a wee bit more than she bargained for.

See, Tim is the reason that Bloved and the girls are sitting in this chair behind this keyboard writing. Melinda says stuff like this is therapeutic. Kinda like that letter she wrote for us and gave to Tim today. Yes, we are utterly fuckin' horrified and embarrassed but, Bloved can play it off. Anyway, Bloved thinks Tim is more fucked up than she and the girls are but she also thinks she cares. Yes, Bloved fuckin' cares. Bloved broke her own rule. She did it, she fell in love BUT, but, but she's backing off. About 50 nervous breakdowns later here she is giving herself a little therapy. Melinda said the letter she gave Tim today was therapy to. Bloved doesn't fuckin' know but she does know that she's learning a lot about herself and the other girls are learning about themselves and things are surfacing that have been stuffed down for a long time.

So, you see, it's not just Tim that's causing us to have a breakdown, it's everything. Tim was just the catalyst. We love him. Yeah Melinda, there it is, Bloved fuckin' admitted it on paper. ALL the girls love him. We don't know how this is gonna turn out but Bloved knows that we're gonna make it. Hell, we might even be one mind again after all of this is over and baby, it's been a long time since we were one.

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