Letters written and stuck beneath the windshield wiper of parked Hondas, Acuras, Mitsubishis, and BMWs since 2001...



  1. I ran into you but it looked fine to me.

  2. Someone bumped into your car. Their name was like Mitchell or Michelle.

  3. A little door-ding never hurt anyone, but if you want I'll try and fix it.

  4. I made a sorta big mark on your car. It makes it look like you drive off-road a lot.

  5. One Carrie Jackson struck your fender. They don't live around here and they move a lot.

  6. Your alarm didn't seem to work when I broke into your car. You could probably be more cautious. Thanks for the $.

  7. The only thing stopping me from completely destroying your car was the damage your rear quarter panel was causing to my knuckles. Call toll free 1-777-755-5577.

  8. Some jerk just scratched his name into your car… It was ME!

  9. That huge scratch wasn't from me… But someone sure left a biggie!

  10. I saw your car. I passed gas as I rubbed it.

  11. I'm marvelous. I rarely make mistakes. Bumping your car was one however.

  12. I backed into your car. My name is Gus. It's German. I'm not German though.

  13. We crashed a minute ago, but nobody was in your car. I guess I'll just drive off.

  14. That body damage is from my car colliding with yours. But I have an uncle in the autobody field- He'll fix ya' up.

  15. This guy in tight wranglers was eating Honey Comb and he spilled some on your hood and sat on it. Might want to check it out.

  16. Between the divorce and the bankruptcy, I had a lot of built up emotion. Thanks red Honda Civic. Thanks for sacrificing your body in my fit of rage.

  17. I had a difficult week. Then I dented your car. Great. Just great.

  18. Point taken. Your car was sliced razor and cut twice.

  19. I was raking leaves and the wind blew and I tried to stop the leaves with the rake and every prong made contact with your vehicle for a matter of minutes.

  20. A blue vehicle just nailed your car. It might have been red.

  21. A car hit your car.

  22. You know the game "quarters"? There were a couple of pre-pubescent kids playing on your hood.

  23. I don't like your car. I hit your car.

  24. Thanks to your civic and a couple minutes of free time, I've found that a shot put can do a hell of a lot of damage to a car.

  25. Polly wants a cracker. But it wasn't Polly who hit your car, I did.

  26. (Illegible word crossed out) Your ("it" crossed out) hood was in and on but ("in" crossed out) in the lot but they drove off. AHE 414 ß license.

  27. A girl named Tiffany used her fingernail to scratch your front quarter panel, so it seems.

  28. I went poop and I thought it was going to be one of those ones that I didn't have to wipe because it came shooting out of my butt hole so fast.

  29. (Using a blue piece of paper) This paper is blue. Your car is scratched.

  30. With any luck at all the dent will work itself out.

  31. I threw a rock at a squirrel but it ricashead and hit your car. Sorry.

  32. I put a huge huge cosmetic scratch all over your car. Whoops! :-)

  33. Once, a time botanical foliages scripped scratched your car's sides and outsides. That time happened a moment ago again and again.

  34. I got the guy's license plate # who hit your car. But I forgot it.

  35. I did my laundry earlier today, and instead of doing my belt buckle, I side-armed it into your grill.

  36. You now have a weird fuel injector and pump. Thanks to me!

  37. I'll bet you could wax the scratch out or something. But no guarantees.

  38. I unbuckled my belt a little wildly and it struck your car pretty violently. Sorry about that. I'll take my foreplay elsewhere.

  39. I crashed into you parked car. My neck hurts. I'm going to sue.

  40. A guy spat on your tire. If you need comforting or just someone to talk to I'm free a lot of the time… John 503-999-2201

  41. I was rollerblading and I ran into your car and cut myself pretty bad. I wanted to make sure you knew that because I'm HIV positive.

  42. My cousin crashed into your car. But I really like him. So I'm not going to give you his name.

  43. You're parked in my space. I kicked your car several times.

  44. Raised, raised, raising the roof… I dented your roof.

  45. The asshole who hit your car had Washington plates.

  46. I was kicking a dead animal through the parkade and it hit your car a couple times.

  47. I hit your car. But I'm too embarrassed to tell you who I am.

  48. My wife and I were fighting. Sorry about any damage that may or may not have been caused to your sport-ute.

  49. I was upset with what you said. So I damaged your car.

  50. Don't worry. It left a little ding on mine too.

  51. I suffer from glycostialysis. It's a mild multi-personality disorder. I hope it wasn't me that damaged your car. But I kind of remember doing it.

  52. They left before the sun came up. Where were they going? They hit your car.

  53. A car squeaked and drove by. It didn't squeeze. I understand that too.

  54. I pushed it in some but it's not that easy to notice. So you shouldn't have to worry much. Thanks. Smiles!

  55. I witnessed somebody strike your car. They lived next to my old house.

  56. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I put a huge awful colossal scratch all over your car.

  57. The guy who hit your car was Hispanic. Hope that helps.

  58. There was a different guy parked here before you. I guess he just drove around the block real quick and when he got back you were parked there. Hence the body damage.

  59. He was a member assistant if you're looking for the guy who did that to your car.

  60. The mark on your car that I made is the same color as this à (big scribble) Oh whoops. That was supposed to look like the color of massive body damage like the giant scratch I put on your car does. Oh well, see it for yourself.

  61. I ran out of gas- Borrowed some of yours- Hope you don't mind.

  62. Just send me a bill for the damage-I'm in a huge hurry-sorry -(illegible name)

  63. I dented your car. But I'm going to blame it on a Mexican kid. Here's his number. 503-513-9141

  64. Luckily I wasn't injured. Sorry about the dent though.

  65. I accidentally backed into your car. That's what the scratch is from. I'm just glad nothing happened to my parents van because they would have killed me.

  66. I wouldn't fret. I'm sure you can cover it up with a bumper sticker or something of that sort. A big one though. It has to be big.

  67. I popped your hood twice and pulled on some wires.