Combating Illness

The anti-illness market is completely oversaturated with all sorts of little herbal pills, vaccines, and so on. Every cold and illness conceivable has its own line of counter-cold medicine. What we'll do is cover the main ones, and then that's it. I'm sure plenty of anti-illness remedies exist that I've never heard of. These ones don't work. We don't need to review them. If a single one of them even almost worked, we would have all heard about it on the news and in magazines and stuff. But we haven't. So that pretty much sums up that whole field of remedies. As a general rule, if something can't even be marketed, it's guaranteed to be so far below legitimacy that it's not worth words to describe. So we'll stick with the ones that at least have a chance, starting with the flu shot.

To me, the flu shot is up there with the most equivocally marketed substances still on the market, and it's not even really marketed. It's weird. They've managed to be exceedingly deceitful without much in the way of a marketing strategy.

I'll explain: it takes months to make the vaccine in the amount needed to make it available. Thus, the vaccine is in production way before the flu arrives. And the flu is always different. The people producing your flu vaccines don't know what the flu will be, and they can't make several different vaccines because it would cost too much. So they take a guess. And they do okay, but soothsayers, meteorologists, and palm readers have an advantage in that they at least have the ability to be vague. "There's a chance of this," "I see something exciting." Whatever it is. The flu-vaccine-maker-people don't have the ambiguity-luxury. They have to be right on, or it's not going to do anything. They're making a chemical product that either works or doesn't work. Does that make sense? If they release a vaccine for the wrong flu, it's not really a beneficial thing to anybody.

So months out, they go into production. By the time the flu does finally come around, if they realize they've predicted wrong, and therefore have a product that won't do anything, they don't just scrap it and say "Sorry folks! My bad! We'll getcha next year!" Everyone would freak out. "Bridget will die!" Whatever it is people say. So obviously they just go ahead with it and release the placebo. People flock by the millions... Maybe not millions, I have no idea, but a lot. People flock in large numbers to get these shots, and the most realistic and probable chance, is that they're being injected with a placebo. That's not to say that they never get it right, because plenty of times they have, but you have no way of knowing whether it's real or not. The whole thing is just amazing. "30,000 people died because of flu shot shortages." You hear horror stories like this when they come up short. Honestly, the placebo effect probably wouldn't have saved them anyway. Flu casualties on shortage years is effectively no different than those of surplus. Maybe a few off here and there in the longevity of things, but it's not a world crisis. It's a placebo. Give them Tums and say it's the new hypoglossal absorber. It's all the same.

So here: educated people don't get flu shots. They avoid people who have the flu. As far as preventative medicine goes, that way is both more effective, and more cost efficient.

And that leads us into our next combative-illness scam: homeopathic meds. This is essentially what the flu shot is. It's a small dosage of the flu so that you can build up immunity to it in a small dose so that your body can be prepped to defend against the real thing when it comes around. But the flu shots are a real product. They have the flu in them. Whether it's the right one or not is up for grabs, but it's at least produced appropriately. Homeopathic meds aren't. And that helps secure their spot as my absolute favorite product line ever marketed. You can get a cure for every virus in the world, and every cure is a tiny, tiny bit of water under the secret code name: diluted virus. Look on the bottles. They'll say something like 100c or 200c for their concentration. 200c means that 1 out of every 1 and then 200 zeros molecules is something other than water. 200 zeros is a lot. A billion has 10 zeros. Here, I'll actually type it out to put it into perspective: 1 in every 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 molecules is something other than water. That’s like 1 molecule, and then all the water in the universe. Your chances of getting a single molecule of the virus are roughly equivalent to you playing the lottery every day for the rest of your life, and winning every time, and being struck by lightening every time. When you consume homeopathic meds, you're paying a lot of money for distilled water. As such, you're better off taking a couple swallows from your hose. A) It's cheaper, and B) I'm positive you'll end up with tons more molecules with the potential to do something. I promise you a half of a swallow from your hose has more homeopathic potential than every homeopathic bottle ever sold combined.

This is why I say it's my favorite product line in the world. It's really the only purchasable substance that is so outlandish that all of mankind should be annihilated out of sheer embarrassment. The other ones aren't as bad.

The next popular one is oceanic. It's not. It's Echinacea. I typed Echinacea but forgot the h and Microsoft Works automatically converted it to oceanic. Oceanic means originating from the depths of the ocean, and Echinacea's not that. It's a plant. And it's not bad. It won't help you, but it won't damage you either, so by all pragmatic definitions, it's not "bad." It's just that if you read any of the research related to it, you won't find any studies showing positive effects while being funded by someone other than people who sell it. Furthermore, there has yet to be a study that both eliminates the placebo effect and shows effectiveness at the same time. A lot of research shows the opposite to be true though. And recently at (I think) the University of Virginia (pretty sure it was there), research was conducted that quantified the placebo effect. They did double-blind testing (only legit way to test- surprising none of the 'effective' studies have done this), and gave out a bunch of Echinacea and placebos over the course of however long it was. All the while, they were asking the people what they thought they were taking. Those who thought they were taking placebos, got no illness-healing/limiting effect. Those who thought they were taking Echinacea got some effect. Not much, but some.

What the study proved, is that, regardless of what people were actually taking, what they thought they were taking determined their results. The placebo effect proved to be a hundred billion times more effective than the Echinacea itself. Something like that. Quantifying zero Echinacea results relative to minor placebo effects doesn’t really work out in the mathematics end of things.

But if you still think it's effective, and are willing to spend your own money on something that is 100% placebo, 0% everything else, you have my full blessing.

Vitamin C is the next one. It might help a little. As a general rule, if you consistently take tons, colds usually doesn't feel as bad. There’s no physiological mechanism I know of that would actually suggest vitamin C could prevent a cold, but it does tend to have severity-limiting effects on some level. Not as much as just taking some sort of anti-congestion thing, but you might as well be taking vitamin C anyway because it's good for you. The cold-severity feeling stuff would just be bonus.

The only legitimate cure for the cold is so standard and obvious that I'm fairly embarrassed to write it being as you totally know it already. There's no amount of money you can invest that will buy you as good of a cure as tons of water and sleep, while generally avoiding sick people. Everything else is marketing to take your money on fairly unethical terms. And if you believe you can go to the chiropractor or acupuncturist to cure your cold, I seriously hope with super ferocious intensity that you get deported. This belief is vastly worse than pure and undying faith in homeopathic meds.