Eating for health...

Everyone's so absolutely horrific at this that I don't actually know where to begin. I guess I'll start off with an apology on behalf of the world. I'm sorry for the world that if you're trying to eat healthy there's billions of dollars spent every year to confuse you and take your money. I'm sorry all the diets you'll ever try are hugely absurd. Furthermore, I'm sorry all the little diet and appetite tricks you think you know are equally corny. I say this because they are. I understand that the last sentence didn't help any. And now you may be expecting some sort of explanation. So I'm sorry for the world, and we'll get crackin' on the explanation.

The information people know about diet beyond the food pyramid and RDAs is most often learned from advertising, advertising that disguises itself as a book, magazines, weird people who think they've come up with a weight-loss trick of their own, and word of mouth that originated from any one of those. Magazines are probably the most legitimate source out of those and there has to be 1000 different health magazines that come out with new dieting tips every 30 days.

Realize that not one of these will even approach legitimacy. Ever. Nowhere near it. Not even the ones that sound valid. Take this one for example- I've even heard "professional" personal trainers tell this to their clients: "if you eat your food slower, you'll end up eating less. This is because it takes a minute for your body to register that you're full. So if you're eating fast, you could have already crammed a lot more food into your system by the time you realize that you're full."

Please don't let me find out that you tell this to people too. That would be extremely upsetting to me. And honestly, I actually hate to completely dismantle this one because it is popular, and therefore there could be a few people who find it to be an effective way to curb their appetite purely off the placebo effect. But I'm sure these people could also find that legitimacy often works better than imagination.

To address legitimacy, we'll start with the stomach. Your stomach has stretch receptors. When your stomach expands, they stretch. When they stretch, they fire. And once they fire, you're not hungry anymore. This happens at the pace of nerve conduction. Milliseconds. If you can eat faster than that, you have my blessing. Then we'll work up from the stomach, as the theory also suggests that "if you eat faster, you can have more food en route to the stomach upon the realization that you're full." No you can't. Your esophagus is not huge. The difference between eating fast and slow in this respect is a medium sized bite. However, if you eat slower, your stomach has more time to offload its content to the small intestine, so technically it takes a greater total volume to cause the stretch receptors to fire. So in actuality, you would probably end up either eating more or not feeling as full due to your esteemed slow-eating skills, but the difference is so miniscule that it's not even worth your consideration.

The point of all of this is as follows: eat at whatever pace you find most comfortable while paying no attention at all to popular dieting tricks and regimens. None of them are valid, and none of them will help you. Are we good? Okay...

Now before we get into what you're going to actually do, I assume you realize that healthy is not synonymous with debilitated and heavyset. Fat and cripply feeling isn't healthy despite what fellow Americans may have you believe. Therefore the purpose of this article is to explain how to eat to make yourself not debilitated and heavyset. Rather, lean and youthful.

And the typical American diet is not healthy. Don't pretend like it is. Coupled with the inability to exercise the slightest bit of will power ever, we have a sad, sad fruitful unhealthiness blossoming. Please don't add to it. Here's how to do just not that:

first thing: when you eat is as important as what you eat. Pow! Famine used to exist. Your body knows this better than you do. And despite the fact that a famine isn't coming, your body is always prepared. It works like this: don't eat for 5 hours. Now your body thinks a famine just hit. What other reason is there for you to deprive your body of food for so long? If food was readily abundant, your body assumes it would be consumed. So when it isn't, your body thinks food is scarce. When this happens, you hang onto your stored energy for dear life. Your stored energy is your body fat. And if you're not eating as if the harvest is healthy, you're hanging onto your body fat. So if you want to lose your fat, you either need to start eating, or have surgery.

By "start eating" I mean you have to eat tons of meals during the course of the day. I would tell you tons of small meals, but controlling portions doesn't work. It's no different than telling an alcoholic "you may have 1 glass." That doesn't work. It's proven to not work. The lady who came up with "Moderation Management" for alcoholics ended up killing people while driving drunk, then quitting her own program because it obviously wasn't working. That said, there's no reason to believe it would work with food either. You also don't have to be ridiculous though. The volume of a 7-Eleven Extreme Gulp is 50% larger than the volume of your stomach. So when I tell you you don't need to exercise excessive control over your portion sizes, that takes into account that you're not obscenely crazy.

Every diet has progressed to the moderation-management-ish advice, however. And though it's technically good, it's not going to work for anybody. Nobody can control portions. This isn't a character flaw necessarily, I can't do it either. You just have to work around it. And we will- but first, we're talking about meal numbers. Tons of meals every day. Six minimum. If you're not eating at least six, you're not getting the results you're hoping for. Space them out evenly during the course of the day, and it helps if they're reasonably evenly sized. They don't have to be equal, but it helps to have them be close. What's more necessary than that however, is your timing. Realistically you should be on a fairly consistent meal time schedule. Wake up at the same time every day, eat breakfast at the same time, your next meal, and the next all in a consistent routine. It doesn't have to be exact- but at least noticeably patterned.

Once you have this down, the concept of calories burned in relation to calories consumed is working in your favor. When your meals are coming in consistently, your body has little purpose for storing excess body fat. If it has such a frequent and abundant supply of food, hauling around the previous meals isn't helping any. The problem is simply getting to the point where it knows there's more coming. If your consistency isn't there, it won't work. Consistency and timing. It's not that hard. Especially since most people enjoy food, and therefore get the privelage of eating every two hours. Not two hours exactly, but that should be the general time frame between your meals.

Now you have the when part done. What to eat is equally important though. And what you eat is not groups of meal replacement powders, as advertising would have you believe. Food beats supplements every time. Powders can be good, but food will always be better. It's what your mouth and digestive system are constructed for.

As far as the food goes, everything is pretty orderly and simple but carbs. Those are tricky. Not bad, just tricky. Your body requires them to release insulin, which is key to maintaining the function of your tissues. So they're just as necessary as they are tricky. Here's what I mean: if you or someone you know is diabetic, watch diabetic person age alongside the non-diabetic person. I realize this is a harsh thing to say, but it's important. And chances are diabetic people are all around you considering virtually every child in America is borderline diabetic now. What you'll notice is that diabetic people seem to age faster. This is attributed to insulin variance. Being as insulin is what your body uses to control blood sugar, and blood sugar is determined by the glycemic index of the food you're eating, you can control your insulin through diet. Therefore, your eating has an impact on your aging.

This glycemic index of food is basically how fast your body processes it. The theory of complex carbohydrates taking longer for your body to process than simple sugars isn't true in all cases. Because of this, they came up with glycemic indexes. Certain foods take a lot longer to peak the blood sugar levels. These foods are considered low glycemic. With high glycemic foods, you get that sugar spike right away. Avoid these foods. This is exactly what gives you insulin problems- and insulin problems give you much larger life problems.

It works like this: eating high glycemic foods causes your blood sugar to quickly increase. Quick increases cause your pancreas to load the bloodstream with insulin which re-lowers your blood sugar. But you end up with too much insulin and so you dump glucagon into the blood, the counter-hormone to insulin, and within a few hours the issue is acutely resolved. But too much of this over time causes your health to experience quite a little tumble.

So to work around this, you have to eat frequent meals with the right foods- which are all listed below. Use the list. It may sound tough to do, but just be a trooper the first couple weeks, because after that, it's not so bad. The complexity subsides to habit. And after a consistant month when you're looking and feeling so much better, you'll do it because you want to, not because I'm badgering you about it. And as far as volume of food goes, I don't care. Eat as much as you want, but mostly use the low glycemic list for hunger. Eat somewhat reasonable amounts of the other foods, then finish off the appetite with the low glycemics. Below is your list of food choices. Use it.


Eggs (egg white has 4g protein, yolk has 2g of protein, but all the fat) 88ish percent utilization...

Fish- (salmon, tuna, shrimp etc.-all seafood) 78ish percent utilization...

Dairy products very low in fat and sugar (ricotta cheese, cottage cheese, string or sliced cheeses, low sugar yogurts) 76ish percent...

Extra lean meats (turkey, ham, chicken, pork, beef, elk, etc.) 68ish percent...

Soy products (vege burgers, tofu, soy milk, meatless "meats") 48ish percent.

Mid glycemic carbs- best in moderation and after workouts.

Red potatos
Brown Rice
Fruit (not canned) except for bananas and raisins
Beans other than baked beans If you're from the UK and thus need baked beans, use sparingly
Whole grain breads
Unflavored non-instant oatmeal
Fiber based cereals

Low glycemic carbs - as much as you can possibly stomach is great.

Alfalfa sprouts
Bamboo shoots
Bean sprouts
Bok choy
Brussels sprouts
Chilli pepper
Dill pickles
Green beans
Green pepper
Mustard greens
Red radish
Snow peas
Swiss chard
Turnip greens

Good fats.

Flax oil
Fish oil
Olive oil

Mediocre fats: soy oil, safflower oil, canola oil, and the fat in nuts.

All other fats are horrid for you. Especially hydrogenated oils, so check the ingredients on non-natural foods to make sure there's no partially hydrogenated anything. Unless your goal is to be fat with cancer- if that's the case, feel free to gobble it up like crazy. Otherwise don't eat any fats other than what's listed above.