First things first...

Hi. Here in just a second, we're going to begin our little journey together. Happy holidays! Because you're the script-loving reader and I can't stop you, please feel free to skip around from article to article, only reading what applies to you. Just don't skip the introduction articles. If you do, I'll encourage Marty machete to terrorize you. I don't want to write out that he'll stab your hip and pelvis because then you'd have it in writing. But that's what will happen. So don't skip these articles. Have wonderful season's greetings! Let's begin.

We're looking at WWI-ish time in St. Petersburg... i.e. Russia. The Tsar and Tsarista are running the show- controlling almost 20% of earth at the time. Tsars being the Romanov family, whose daughter, the Tsarina, was Anastasia. I hope you've at least heard of the name Anastasia before, they made a Disney movie about her. Better be ringing some bells.

The Bolsheviks didn't so much like the family, so they killed all of them. Every Romanov human being was gunned down, then exploded, then lit on fire, then doused in acid in attempt to eliminate any trace that these people even existed. It was just a huge disgusting atrocity that ended in the elimination of any trace of existence of every one of them, including Anastasia.

But nobody wanted to believe this because she liked puppies. Anastasia was a little girl who liked puppies. So people made up these stories, "she played dead until they weren't looking and she escaped." "She was wearing diamonds and the bullets rickashade off of them as she fled to her freedom." Really elaborate, borderline fantastical stories. Seriously though, she was shot. In the face a lot and stuff. And I realize this is horrible, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Still though, the faith in her survival lived on. Then in 1920, this lady in Berlin comes out of this river doing the whole go-to-the-hospital-naked-with-no-ID move and acts like she's Anastasia. Everyone believed it. She moves to the U.S., marries a rich guy, and starts going by the name Anna Anderson, adopting somewhat of a quasi-celebrity status, comparable to Paris Hilton or something. Never actually did anything, famous just because. One of those. But the whole time Anna keeps trying to sue everybody to get Anastasia's inheritance. That of course didn't phase all her loving fans.

But Anastasia's uncle came around. Ernst. And Ernst didn't buy it, pointing out that Anna matched perfectly on all levels with this Polish asylum escapee, Franziska Schanzkowska. Of course the believers in the Anastasia version of Anna considered these accusations to be completely outlandish. So the tradition carries on. Anna is Anastasia.

But 1984 rolls around and Anna dies. During her life, she wouldn't allow for these tests, but now that she was dead, this independent group comes along and does DNA testing to find out who Anna Anderson actually was. There's this big ceremony reading where it's all official and there's a sealed envelope with the results, and nobody knows what it says. The Anna-is-Anastasia crowd is obviously crazy-excited waiting to hear that all their beliefs, hopes, desires, and dreams were true. The speaker opens up the letter and begins reading. He unveils the fact that, not only does Anna have 0% DNA relation to the Romanov family, but she also has 100% relation to Franziska Schanzkowska, the depressed, Polish asylum runaway.

Although acceptance might have been a more appropriate response, the believers lashed out with "there must have been a mistake!" and continued to believe. Right in the face of absolute truth, they turn their head and continue to believe in presumptions that vibrantly counter all sense of reality. There's seriously no amount of evidence you can present to these people that would sway their mind. Nothing. All the proof in the world and they'd never even second-guess it.

Why is this of any relevance whatsoever you ask? Maybe you didn't ask. In that case, you should have because you came here to learn fitness, and I'm talking about post WWI Russian history. Here's the deal... Don't be the moron that's totally unwilling to learn any alternate idea. Don't be the Anna-believer on me. Be critical about the all information you're presented with. Don't be the person that's given blatantly obvious truth and refuses to believe it out of principal. If you're under the impression that anything not deeply congruent with what you already believe to be true is false, that's a severe character flaw. Please remedy that character flaw before you read anything else on this site. And by all means, be incredibly critical with every word you read here. I'm not excusing myself from appropriate criticism.






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