Okay. This one is never-ending. And with no better way of putting it, excuses are the bastard offspring of weak convictions. If you rely on them to counter the work ethic it takes for achievement, you'll never have anything. And I realize I can't sway anyone to not use them, but at least think about what it is that you're saying. I swear to you, "big boned" is something people say. The first time I heard this I thought it was a joke. It wasn't even that funny, I just laughed to be polite. Turns out I wasn't being very polite. Honestly though, what reason is there to believe in the validity of you having a massive squishy bone in your stomach, draping over your upper thighs, that looks like a wet pillow? Who buys this? I worked at the Boy's and Girl's Club for 3 years. I worked with 5 year olds. They thought it was hysterical. What logical adult can you pull this on?

Then a girl named Crystal told me this one. "I just need to reward myself because life's short and I want to enjoy it." And that's fine. You enjoy it. But understand that your excuse is about life being short, and you going out and getting hammered as your "reward" isn't doing anything to help. You're just countering your progress with "rewards" and shortening up that life span a little more. That said, you should really go out and enjoy it because it's growing shorter by the reward. Seriously, you can just tell me "I'm not really cut out for this whole health thing" and I won't think much less of you. Don't feel you need to make excuses to make people like you. That's a really big character flaw that should have been addressed when you were in the first through fourth grade. "You don't need to lie to make friends." Remember that line? Try not to disregard it so blatantly.

There's a bunch of other good ones I could quote for the sake of comedy, but the main one everyone seems to use now is the genetic excuse. So I assume I should address this one in particular. You don't have terrible genetics. I'm not making any assumptions or speculating either. I'm telling you that. Your genetics are fine. But for the sake of argument, let's have at it.

Can I first make a general assumption and say that you're implying that your basal metabolism is your genetic excuse? Keep in mind that your basal metabolic rate is the largest calorie burner in the body. It's responsible for 60-70% of every calorie you've ever burned, regardless of what you do. The rest of it is the extra caloric needs for whatever it is that you are doing during the course of the day. So it's your basal metabolic rate that you're concerned with genetically, correct?

Well then, let's get into basal metabolism... Oxygen. That's what matters. The reason you breathe is to transport oxygen to your cells. Cellular metabolism is effectively everything as far as physiology is concerned. Cells run on ATP, the only energy source of the body. And ATP is made from the food you eat by two different energy cycles.

One of ATP production cycles lasts about 2 minutes tops, and can take place without oxygen, producing a byproduct that creates a progressively more acetic environment in the working cells to ensure that this energy cycle is only used for short periods of time. Once it becomes too acetic, the energy cycle ceases to do anything productive. So... that, plus the fact that you only actually call on this energy cycle in strenuous activity, maintains the fact that it's completely irrelevant to your basal metabolism.

The other energy cycle, requires oxygen, and accounts for the entirety of your basal metabolism. And lucky for us, this one is measurable in all people. It operates on the fact that there is a direct ratio of calories burned to oxygen consumed. A single liter of oxygen utilized is equal to burning 5 calories. So it can effectively be said that a person's basal metabolism is determined by how many liters of oxygen they consume at rest. A person who's cellular metabolic needs cause them to consume less total oxygen at rest would have a lower basal metabolism, and that would in fact be the genetic problem. Do you follow?

Well, it turns out that you, and everybody else, at your resting rate, use 3.5 milliliters of oxygen for every kilogram you weigh. Body composition plays in somewhat, but not really enough to even mention. Fundamentally every person on the planet is right at about 3.5 milliliters of oxygen for every 2.2 pounds of them. I can't really see any relevance here to genetics here aside from the fact that we're all human beings and we all have the same rate.

This is not an attempt to completely downplay the importance of genetics in your health. Just to shatter the way everyone thinks it impacts them. But the fact exists that some people eat nonstop and don't put on an ounce, where some people eat 92 calories and become massive. So the question remains of what in fact is accounting for "metabolism" differences during the course of the day.

Aside from the colossal diet mistakes people don't realize they're making, some people are nervous. Honestly that's a lot of it. They'll tap their foot and twirl pencils nonstop. I'm not kidding, that's probably it. And you can feel free to become nervous too. You'd go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, but I'd bet you wouldn't be dissatisfied with your results. Either that or be busy. Because that's pretty much all it boils down to. During the course of the day, "high metabolism" people have different lifestyles and habits. And I don't really think it's physiologically sound to blame your habits on genetics. I'd argue in favor of classical conditioning as the primary causal factor there, but I hate psychology and the excuse section is now over. Don't make them. Please. I swear to you I don't want to hear one.