D-Change: Songs of Love and Loneliness

This collection of cover and original songs tell the story of my marriage and divorce and the struggles I had through it all. Each song represents a different time period in the story and illustrates the feelings I had when I was going through that particular stage. The cover songs I include each helped me through a difficult time in the story and including them is a tribute and a thank-you to the artists for helping me. I think it represents accurately through words and music the story of Love and Loneliness I want to tell. It is a story of true love and how mental illness led to the eventual breakup of a marriage I thought was meant to last forever. This CD literally took about 5-6 years to complete. I went through a depression during those years and that made it hard for me to work on it. About two years ago I actually started recording on it and finally finished it on June 1st and released it on June 3rd, the 3 year anniversary of our divorce hearing. Any money I receive from selling the CDs is going to NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, http://www.nami.org

Here is what each song means to me.

• Terrapin — About a year or two before I met Julie I became obsessed with Syd Barrett's solo albums. This song, which is off of his first solo album, The Madcap Laughs, is a beautiful love song that I actually put on the first mix tape I made for Julie. Syd's unique lyrics perfectly match how I felt about Julie,
• 6-1-91 — Julie and I first met on June 1st, 1991 while I was playing her best friend's birthday party in a speed/thrash-metal band called Lost Souls. It was love at first sight! We fell truly and deeply in love and were convinced we were meant to be soul mates and dated until February of 1992. In the 5 years we were broken up we would bump into each other occasionally, she got married and divorced and we got back together in 1997. I proposed to her with this song on Christmas Eve 1998 and we got married on May 27th, 2001
• Love — One of my favorite Robyn Hitchcock songs off his debut solo album Black Snake Dξamond Rφle. I used to play this song for Julie on my guitar and I even put it on a mix tape for her at one point. It's just a simple love song with great lyrics. Although Robyn has many beautiful songs about heartache I decided to use one of his happy songs on this CD. There is a melancholic sadness to the song too, when it mentions the
• Kooks — This song perfectly describes how I felt when I knew I was going to be a parent. It's off my favorite David Bowie album, Hunky Dory. David wrote it for his first child, Zoey, get it, Zoey Bowie?
• Light of Your Love — I wrote this song after our son Sebastian was born and as Julie was beginning to go through a Bipolar Disorder episode brought upon by the trauma of childbirth. She had attempted suicide by overdosing on her antidepressants and was living reckless, late nights, not coming home at all and I was very concerned for her safety, not to mention who she was spending her all-nighters with.
• Weary Blues From Waiting — I could have done a whole CD of Hank Williams covers to tell this story but this is one song that really comforted me through all this. I liked Hank before but going through this experience I understood and related to him even more.
• I Get ALong Fine — This song is from a solo album by Erik Sanko of NYC's art rock band Skeleton Key, called Past Imperfect, Present Tense. It's a break-up album and it really spoke to me during the rough times. I personally asked Erik for the chords to this song when I saw Skeleton Key at the Middle East one time. Check out Skeleton Key live next time they play in your area, you won't be disappointed. Thanks Erik!
• Waiting With the Moon — This song took a long time to finally come out of me and it is probably one of the hardest songs I had to write for this album. I spent many nights waiting for Julie to come home and the moon and music were the only things around to keep me company.
• Guess I'm Doing Fine — Sea Change by Beck came out at the same time I was going through this whole ordeal and it was a comfort for me. I used to listen to it nightly and the songs became imbued in my head. This song in particular hit me because it described exactly how I was feeling. The title D-Change is also a nod to Sea Change (C-Change, D-Change, get it?).
• The Golden Age — I could have easily just re-recorded Sea Change but I had too many other songs I wanted to include so I only included two of my favorites from the album. This one in particular is another comforting song because I felt very lonely and this song really captures how I felt at the time.
• My So-Called Wife — When you're married to someone going through a Bipolar episode they really aren't themselves. This song sums up how it felt being married to someone who used to act like my wife but ended up nothing like the person I married. It's a testament to how severe mental illness manifested in someone can change them to the point that they aren't who they used to be.
• I Can't Stop the Rain — I've always loved this song from the Peter Criss KISS solo album (my favorite KISS solo album). This song sums up a lot of feelings I have regarding this whole experience. It ends the story on a sad note, but it really is a sad ending I'm afraid.