TABLE OF CONTENTS
NEW STUFF AT PICO! Fry mah hide!
THERE IS A NEW GAME featurin' Pico har
Pico has gone SPANISH! Fry mah hide! t'use this hyar feature of pico, yo' simply click on th' circle wif th' wo'd Spanish beside it in th' pico main menu -- its right below th' German when yo' inter pico's wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Pico has gone GERMAN! Fry mah hide! thets right, thar is a German translashun thet kin befoun' at at th' Pico website when yo' click "enter pico's wo'ld", then choosin' Pico hisse'f! Fry mah hide! yo' haf th' opshun of English o' German! Fry mah hide!
*INTRODUCTION*
Welcome t'Pico fo' Dumbasses
yer probably hyar t'find out how t'"play" Pico. Whuffo' else is yo' hyar? this hyar website is also th' fust PICO walk through t'be menshuned by Tom Fu'p on PICO! Fry mah hide! Whuffo' did yo' does this? Wal, PICO FOR DUMBASSES is basically fo' ennyone who IS stoopid inough not t'knows how t'figger out how t'finish it, believe it o' not, thar is varmints who doesn't clue in so quickly as th' ress of us. Like it o' not, thets whuffo' PICO FOR DUMBASSES was created, cuss it all t' tarnation.
HOW TO PLAY
har is a step by step of whut yo' sh'd do:
Class Room 1. Af'er Casan'ra has begun her mahrth in madness, yo' simply exit th' room t'enter th' main co'rado'.
Th' Co'rido'. Hyar yo' begin yer voyage by gwine EAST.
In th' second pannel, it is a fine idea t'pick up th' fire extin'uisher, yo' WILL need it later. DO NOT ENTER THE ROOM THAT HAS GUNPLAY REFLECTED IN ITS DOOR WINDOW jest yet.
continue eastward, hyar yo' kin, an' muss inter th' Janito's Closet, hyar yo' MUST pick up one of the dawgoned-est impo'tant thin's in th' game, th' Machine Gun! Fry mah hide! To git th' gun, click on th' gun, as enny fool kin plainly see. Keep in mind thet yo' kinnot pick up th' pice of shit.
Once yo' haf retched th' machine gun wealdin' punk, yo' kin choose a number of opshuns
-Please Spare Me!
af'er which th' kid shoots pore li'l Pico.
-Ett Dick! Fry mah hide!
if yo' choose eifer, th' kid will shootcha eff'n yo' wait. BUT, YOU CAN SHOOT THE PUNK. try it, yo'll like it.
if yo' shoot th' Kid, YOU haf th' opshun t'eifer let him "Helter-skelter Home t'Mammy" o' t'"Say Yer Prayers". "Say Yer Prayers" is mo'e fun, as enny fool kin plainly see.
af'er yo've killed yer fust varmint, yo' will come t'a gate, hyar yo' kin hoof it into a locker an' git a medicinal herb! Fry mah hide!
if yo' doesn't haf th' key, fine, dumbass, hoof it back an' git it. To git th' key fo' th' gate, return t'th' second class room thet yo' passed, cuss it all t' tarnation. BUT befo'e yo' go, git th' medicinal herb which yo' kin find in one of th' lockers.
Here, yo' will hafta face off aginst th' tellykinetic Alucard, cuss it all t' tarnation. To defeat Alucard, yo' muss distroy th' flyin' remains of th' daid. an' shoot at Alucard hisse'f whenevah a ? appears on over his haid. Keep in mind, Alucard, bein' Tellykinetic, sheilds hisse'f.
Once yer battle wif Alucard is on over in yer favo', Alucard will give yo' his skoo key, take th' key, yo' will need it open th' gate further on, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Fo' a li'l mo'e amoosement, fire at th' desks pilled on over an' aroun' Alucard, an' kill th' bastard when he is revealed, cuss it all t' tarnation.
go back an' open th' gate.
Af'er th' gate is opened, th' fust thin' we recomend doin' is hoof it into th' li'l fellas room, open th' stall in thar, an' kill th' guy thet is in a shitty disposishun. thar is nothin' else yo' kin does in th' male warshroom other than flood th' flore wif th' water fum th' sink an' fum th' urinals.
Next, hoof it into te female o' th' opposite sex warshrooms (trimenjus male fantasy huh! Fry mah hide!?! Fry mah hide!) an' face off aginst th' ninja.
We lie, thar is one thin' yo' kin does in th' bathrooms: Yo' kin also flush th' urinals an' turn on th' faoocets in th' bathrooms an' a li'l mo'e fun will insue!
To kill th' ninja, simply foller his red marker witcher mouse while rapidly lef'-clickin', an' kill him befo'e he kills yo'. Yo' muss then take th' goggles so thet yo' kin see in th' dark. Shet mah mouth!
Git east. Yo' now meet Pico's friend Nene. She be hankerin' t'die. Yo' kin leave her be, o' kill hyar. make yer choice, then haid east agin.
Yo' haf now retched th' end of th' co'rido', it'd be a fine idea t'have a drag of th' medicinal herb right now.
Enter th' skoo marm's Lounge. Yo' will see thet its on fire. Use th' extin'uisher t'put it out.
Click on th' East dore, yo' will discovah thet its locked, so hoof it back t'th' class room whar th' game begain, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Once back hyar, use th' goggles t'see in th' dark, click on th' keys on th' groun' t'git them, dawgone it.
return t'th' last room, an' unlock th' dore.
Now yo' face th' challenge of facin' off agianst Cassan'ra. Af'er she has turned into a monster, yo' muss fire at her at th' li'l purple dot between her legs. Fire rapidly,
Beware of when she throws kinisters atcha, eff'n they hit yo', mighty bad thin's will happen, mighty bad thin's will happen eff'n her eyeshots hit yo', not t'menshun th' devistashun yo' experence eff'n yer crushed unner th' parts of th' celin' thet Casan'ra cuzs t'fall, ah reckon.
But befo'e yo' kill Cassan'ra, yo' s'd fire at th' "EXPLOSIVE" kinnister, it will, eff'n yo' fire at it early inough, splode allerin' yo' t'fire at th' pollice on th' outside of th' buildin'.
yo' kin eifer fire at th' front tire of th' car, o' th' engine t'destroy th' cruizzu an' th' po-lice officer, o' yo' kin shot th' indivijool pigs!
extry info:Yo' kin shoot th' punk an' thet chick wif herpes af'er thier daid Yo' kin open ALL th' lockers, but their all emppy. yo' kin still yo' yer gun an' smoke hemp even durin' cinama, jest look whar th' item bar is an' click on its no'mal spot. (thanks t'Metal Head)
Wal folks, thets it! Fry mah hide! eff'n yo' kin't be vicko'ious af'er readin' this, yer truly a dumbass.
LINKS AND GUESTBOOK
Come an' Play wif Pico! Fry mah hide! by returnin' hyar Or yo' kin viset th' SECOND Pico walk-through by clickin' har.
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1001 hits whar achieved on OCTOBER 11TH 1999.
2001 hits whar achieved on Ockober 26th 1999.
3008 hits whar achieved on November 13th 1999.
4000 hits whar achieved on November 30th 1999.
6001 hits whar achived on January 10th 2000.
Is yo' a fan of pico, an' be hankerin' t'share yer page wif th' wo'ld, please jest sign th' Guestbook includin' a link t'YOUR page, an' specify thet yer hankerin' t'be on th' "Links of Pico Fans Aroun' th' Wo'ld" list! Fry mah hide! (we added Carp fust on account o' th' ban' fum Hollan' has a right fine website)
Links t'Pico Fans Aroun' th' Wo'ld
Carp
Dirty Shit
The Dialectizer [the page that inspired the creation of this verson of PFD]