My struggle for her.
An eternal struggle of hope
I have entered
With my heart's ever shortening rope
My soul fears being sheltered
With every hope
I have spent
I battle just to cope
And wondered where it went
I simply need some love
To be held when fallen and down
And grounded when above
And a kiss to replace my frown
I have nothing but toil
With every good deed
All of my dreams continue to spoil
And heart will shamelessly bleed
I revel in but a moment
Of pure bliss
Where all is well and well spent
Living from kiss to kiss
Yet there is always some pain
When my efforts turn sour
An intention is not a sufficient gain
For a sky with its own tower
Am I simply not visible or real?
Do I exist when it comes to her love?
And if I do, is it for me
Or for what I have done, in spite of.
Why cannot I succeed?
And attain that which I seek
Damned to soulfully bleed
And live in exile amongst the meek
For I would give it all
To have what I want
Climb to the very peak just to fall
And again for what I want
The need is more then I can grasp
Like a vampire to its victim
I want a fix but it passes much too fast
And all around is a blur in the desire of sin
Please take me home
Where all is mine
Inside of my head and alone
Is where I can shine
For I can hide from the pain
That she pours upon me
In malicious tones like rain
I drown in pools within me
For the rules I have set
Is when I have attained paradise
And I have gotten as high as I can get
Then there is sure to be painful sacrifice
Within a fairytale
Is where I would like to live
With no wind beneath my sail
I could stay unchanged from things corrosive
But still I have hope
Naïve I may seem
But it's all I have in scope
Of happiness to my mean
Just take me to your heart
And let me breathe
Air is our love to tear apart
For I will surely die if you leave.
Written on Saturday, May 8, 1999
