playing "Never Forget You"

One Year Ago Today

October 12, 1997.....Has it really been one year? Joe, You always talked about the grieving process and how as you moved thru it things got easier. You forgot to say when it would. I still miss you. I still blame myself, for what exactly I don't know. I do know this year has been hell. I have had some healing process by making these pages. Many, Many people have written how touched they were. I can't help but think if they had only known you. The you we knew was so much more than these words on pages with cutesy graphics and music. The Joe we remember had an infectious laugh, an evil grin, a heart of gold.

There's so much I have wanted to say & ask in the past year. I talk out loud to you more than I care to admit. Do you hear me?
The last week has been very hard. I am dealing with so much sadness, pain & anger. I know I am not the only one who misses you but sometimes I feel like there is noone else I can talk to that understands how lost I am without you somedays.

I miss our Sundays playing pool. Being able to call you and talk when something bothered me. Calling you to laugh over something funny I heard.

Who would have ever thought that I would depend on you so much. Maybe too much, maybe that's why you didn't have enough strength to go on. That's one of my biggest fears, that you were there so much for everyone else that there wasn't any left for Joe.

As hard as it is I pick up and go on. Always remembering your smile, your laugh, your wacky sense of humor. Never forgeting you because you meant so much to so many. Never forgeting you beacuse you were my friend.

Love Always, Linda