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Still Missing You, My friend

October 12, 2001

5 years?  Seems like yesterday sometimes and an enternity on others.  I miss you and your spirit.  So much has happended, so much I wonder if you know, I wonder if you can see.

Wendy committed suicide right after Thanksgiving 2 years ago.  It amazed me that even after she saw how your death affected us all, she chose to do the exact same thing, the exact same way.  I never thought I would hurt so bad again.  I don't understand and I guess I never will.  The only way I can deal with it all is to try and remember that neither of you are in pain anymore.

There are good things that have happened.  I wanted so much to share with you, I am never sure if you hear me when I talk to you in my head.

You always told me I was better than my job and that I was a smarter person than I gave myslef credit for.  I guess you were right.  I have finally found a job I love, in an industry that I am good at.  I am learning everyday, but I feel really good about it.  You would call it a sucess!

I think Chris is finally getting it together and becoming a thinking adult instead of the "heathen Teenager" .  He still has a long way to go and he thinks about you often and how you were a really good friend when he needed one.

There's more but I don't think I'll air all my business on the Internet! But So many people read these pages and ask if it' gotten easier, if I still miss you etc.  I will always miss you.  You are someone that I love as much as I do Greg.  And I owe you for that one too!  I will never forget you and your quirky, funny ways.  I can't say it's easier.  Time has made it easier to think about and talk about you without a total meltdown.  But reviewing these pages and making this one has brought tears to my eyes as I reminisce.  Some are happy tears as I remember you painting every wall in the house the same shade of green as the background on this page!  Just for a change you said...  Some are tears of loss as I realize your favorite Holiday, Halloween just isn't the same without Mr Bones and you leaving the candy outside and pretending you weren't home just so you could scare the trick or treaters by jumping out and hollering BOO!

It's been 5 years but it seems like yesterday...