"Some people only dream of angels...I held one in my arms."
April 21, 1992
HAPPY BIRTHDAY-MATTHEW! YOU ARE LOVED AND MISSED!
How softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently.
Only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint your tiny footsteps have left upon our hearts.
SEARCH ANENCEPHALY ANGELS on FACEBOOK to join our support group!
Matthew Bradley was still born on April 21, 1992 at 7:52am.
He was 8lbs and 19 1/2 inches long.
He is the precious son of Missy and Steven.
At 36 weeks of pregnancy, after undergoing a routine ultrasound, it was discovered that Matthew had a birth defect called anencephaly. The term means without a brain. This birth defect is incompatible with life. We were told Matthew could die before, during, or soon after birth. The weeks that followed the news that my baby would die are a blur. I do remember that I savored every second of my baby's life that was to be lived only in me. I cherished EVERY movement, every kick, every hiccup! I loved singing to him
and rocking him in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. He would respond with kicks and punches which I interpreted as, "I love you mommy!". I waited until the last possible moment to leave when I was in labor. I was rushed to the hospital just in time. As Matthew was delivered, I remember longing to hear a cry or whimper. There was silence.
Matthew was gone. My husband and I held him, rocked him, took pictures of him, kissed his sweet face, and loved him with all our hearts.
Our families held him also if they wanted. It was a special time for me to see my son with all his family. We kept Matthew with us for hours. It was very difficult to let him go.
We had a beautiful graveside service for him. His tiny casket was covered with baby blue carnations.
We said our final goodbyes to our precious baby.
His life, lived only in my womb, has changed me forever.
After Matthew's death, I remember feeling such intense sadness and despair.
I missed him terribly. I wanted answers, and there were none.
After the sadness, there was anger. Then finally, there was peace and healing. Two years after Matthew died, we were blessed with a beautiful daughter. Eighteen months later, we were again blessed...this time with a healthy baby boy.
I thank God for all my babies.
It is truly a miracle to bring a new life into this world.
If you are visiting this page and have lost a baby...we share in this pain. If you have just found out that your baby has a fatal birth defect, please feel free to contact me. Search ANENCEPHALY ANGELS on Facebook for my support group page!
It has been many years since I held my precious baby.
Time has eased my pain. It's not gone, but life is happy again. My days are filled with the laughter, silliness, and joy that my children bring me. I remember Matthew now more with love and happiness than the initial sadness and grief.
I remember thinking I would never feel that way again.
God has given me the comfort to bear my grief.
There is hope.
TO MATTHEW, FROM MOMMY
When I lost you, I lost a lifetime of dreams.
A lifetime of teddy bears and choo choo trains.
Of toy trucks and sand castles and walks in the rain.
I lost the chance to kiss scraped knees, to make it all better.
To rock you in my arms,
And to whisper a quiet lullaby in the early morning hours.
I lost hearing your first words and seeing your first step.
I lost seeing daddy smile with joy when he hears "I love you".
I lost wiping away your tears and hearing your robust cries.
I now wipe away my own tears,
and hear the endless sobs of my own painful cries.
But what I did not lose are the few precious memories...
Of first seeing your heart beat on the ultrasound
Or seeing you wave at me from the screen
Or your first kick I felt.
Or the one that your daddy first felt that made him jump with surprise.
Or the hiccups and the heartburn you gave me!
Or hearing your heart beat so strong and loud.
And of your last kick "goodbye" before you left us to play in heaven.
When I lost you, Matthew. I lost the most precious gift -
April 21, 1992
You are loved and missed MATTHEW!
This page was lovingly made by Matthew's mom.
Thank you for stopping by! Please sign my guest book so I know you were here. Thank you!