It was a bright and sunny day. Birds chirped. Bees buzzed. Skunks romped.
Dani suggested a picnic outside.
They all agreed. Lately, their mother had been extremely cranky due to her pregnancy. They all looked for an excuse to get out of the house (which smelled of onions).
Ari and Dani went into the kitchen to pack food. Maggie and Sarah started to follow, but were held back. "We read the dinner time story," Dani said smartly. "You can watch the little twins."
Maggie and Sarah pouted but left Ari and Dani to the food.
Twenty minutes later, Dani and Ari stood by the back door with Stinky on a leash and Miss Havisham by their feet. Maggie and Sarah came out, looking outrageous. Maggie had her hair up in high pigtails, tied with purple yarn. Her feet had big duck slippers on them. She wore a pair of overalls over a white shirt covered in dried paint. She had glitter all over her face.
Sarah had her hair in six braids, with long red ribbons woven into each. She wore a ballet tutu, work boots and green socks. "We're going for a picnic," Ari reminded them.
"So?" Sarah challenged.
Dani sighed. "Come on, let's go."
They went out way far back, set up a blanket and began to ate when out of the woods came a dirty, smelly fifteen year old with missing teeth and a saliva-coated chin. He chortled like a hick and asked, "Spare a crumb for a poor boy?"
"Sickening," Maggie said, aghast.
"Ew," Sarah groaned.
"Wow," Ari said, covering the twins eyes.
"We don't share food with strangers," Dani said. "Especially dirty, smelly ones."
"I don't need a whole lot, just a little to spice up my rat," he explained, holding up a dead rat by its tail.
The girls all screamed. "You're gonna eat a rat?" wailed Sarah, burying her face in Maggie's shoulder and bursting into tears.
Miss Havisham neatly took a flying leap into the air, caught the rat in her mouth and ran off to eat it. "Hell," the boy said, stomping his foot and pulling out a banjo, throwing it at the cat.
"Run Miss Havisham!" Ari screamed. Luckily, no animals were harmed during the production of this movie, so Miss Havisham was saved.
The boy came closer and snatched up Samantha. She and Missy howled. "Can I sacrifice the baby to the Mayan Gods?"
"NO!" they all yelled.
"Hell," he said, handing Maggie the howling child.
They all stared at him in his muddy glory. "Can I borrow a pair of pants?"
"Go away!" Missy shouted in her babyish voice, pouting.
The boy pulled a Snickers bar out of his pocket. "Why are you eating that if you were gonna eat the rat?" asked Ari cautiosly.
"I'm hungry and it says 'Why Wait?'," the boy explained.
"You are so weird," Dani said, shaking her head. "Get off our property. Our parents are government."
"And our mother is cranky!" yelled Sarah.
"Damn the man," the boy said.
"SAVE THE EMPIRE!" the twins screamed, getting up to hug the boy. "You saint!" they cried. The boy frowned. "Huh?"
They pushed him over so he fell in a stream. "Dummy," Maggie said. "Go home. You obviously don't know Empire Records."
A black helicopter began to land from overhead. The Mulder girls stared in awe as it landed and some men in white suits chased down the boy and put him in the copter, flying away.
After five minutes of staring, Ari said, "Now what was the moral of this story?"
"No moral," Maggie said, popping a sunflower seed into her mouth.
"What was the underlying theme?" asked Sarah.
"No theme," Dani replied.
"What a pointless story," Sarah said, throwing hard objects at the author. Maggie covered her head and screamed. "Sarah, stop! Bad Sarah!" she cried, rewriting the part so Sarah sat up straight and smiled angelically.
The END
