The darkness was warm, comforting. He wanted to stay there. It was safe there. Instinctively, he knew it would hurt, both physically and mentally, to leave this warm womb in which he existed.

But the light was relentless, pulling at him, dragging him back. He fought, screaming in anguish as the light tore at the fragile peace he'd acquired.

"John?"

Her voice. Sweet pain. They were the only words to describe the feeling the distant voice evoked within him. The sound of Aeryn's voice was ambrosia to him, heaven and life. He wanted to surround himself with her, but she was gone into the dark nothingness. That was the pain - that he would never hear that voice or touch her skin, her hair.

It was getting brighter, sound began to penetrate the cocoon that had enveloped him. In the distance he heard his own faint moan.

"John?"

Zhaan. It's not her, not his Aeryn. Gradually, he became aware of his surroundings. He could hear D'Argo pacing, the repulsor lift of Rygel's chair and the skittering of a DRD or two. He could feel Zhaan hovering over him, and the softness of the bed beneath him. Slowly, his brain registered the pain in his body, the dull ache in his chest and right leg.

Involuntarily, he began breathe faster, fighting the urge to scream. Tears pooled, burning his eyes as they squeezed beneath his still tightly shut lids.

"John, are you in pain?"

He couldn't answer her. His mind flashed to his last image of Aeryn - the moment before he killed her. He rolled to his side, curling into a fetal position, sobbing.

Through his tears, he was vaguely aware of the bed shifting behind him. He felt the warmth of another body pressing behind his -

"Is he alright?" He heard Rygel say as he felt the soft touch of a hand against his face, gently wiping his tears away.

"I think they'll be fine." Zhaan answered softly.

John could hear the swish of Zhaan's gown as she ushered the others from the room - all but the one resting beside him. He felt the touch again, a gentle but strong grip on his shoulder rolling him onto his back. He felt someone stretch out alongside him - he felt her stretch out alongside him. He so wanted it to be her, knew his mind was just playing tricks on him.

She touched his check again, wiping away the stray tears. Her scent lingered and he inhaled deeply.

Slowly he opened his eyes, terrified of what he would and wouldn't see. Either way he was lost - Aeryn was dead.

He looked up into her eyes - filled with love and compassion. He knew it was an illusion played upon him by his grieving, tormented mind, but still he couldn't look away.

"Aeryn? "

She smiled softly, "Yes, John."

The sound of her voice was like a warm, comforting current running through him easing the pain in his heart. He would give anything for her to be real, to truly be there with him.

"Oh God, Aeryn" he moaned, throwing himself into the hallucination as he pulled her down to him, burying his face along her neck. He clung to her desperately, savoring the feel of her. The scent of her washed through him and he didn't care that he was losing his mind. He just wanted to keep Aeryn with him, knowing that once he let go, she would be gone forever -- he would have to accept her death.

He could feel the tender ache in his ribs as he crushed her to him, but he didn't care. It only made the delusion seem that much more real. She lay there quietly for a while, her hand running soothingly along his arm. Then, she pushed herself off his chest, settling again at his side. Refusing to lose his contact with her, John rolled to his side to follow her. The sudden movement sent dagger pains through his injured leg.

"AHHHHH! Damn!" he moaned, slowly shifting back, his eyes tightly closed. He didn't want to see the empty space the reality-jarring pain would surely leave by his side.

"John?"

He could hear the fear riddling her voice as the pain-induced white haze faded from his mind. Was it possible? Aeryn? Real? Tentatively, he reached a blind hand upward and made contact with warm flesh.

Opening his eyes, he once again stared into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. With both hands, he reached up to cup her face, "Aeryn? How?" was all he could manage.

"Zhaan and D'Argo found us. Pilot alerted them when he detected unusual seismic activity creating increasingly high ground temperatures and was unable to contact us directly. Zhaan had Chiana bring down the endothermiccooling blanket. When they found us, she was able to bring my temperature down enough to get me out of immediate danger. Unfortunately, in his rush to stop you, D'Argo caused one of your broken ribs to puncture your lung. You went into shock. We almost . . . lost you."

He heard the catch in her voice. Gently, he drew her down, settling her carefully beside him, and placed a kiss atop her head.

Aeryn shifted in his arms, snuggling against him, her head resting on his shoulder and one of her legs carefully nestled between his. Arms wrapped securely around each other, they rested quietly, and he relished the comfort that was freely given between them.

"I thought I'd lost you Aeryn. Nothing has ever hurt me like that - not even getting stranded out here, not that pseudo-Earth. But I wouldn't trade it - not for anything."

Reaching down, he turned her head up so he could look her in the eyes. "I love you, Aeryn."

She smiled up at him, and he saw the twinkle in her eyes that he loved so much. "I love you, too. More than anything. I have no regrets, John - not anymore. I like being irreversible contaminated', " she said, smirking.

She grew quiet. Casting her eyes down, she took a deep breath, then drew herself up so that she could face him directly. "I want to thank you, John. For what you were prepared to do. I know what that would've cost you what it did cost you. Until now I have never had anyone who loved me enough to do that. A fellow peacekeeper would do it out of duty - you're the first person who . . ." Her words trailed off as the tears poured from her eyes.

Tenderly, John wiped away the tears before drawing her down to him, their lips brushing softly together.

Returning her head to his chest, he stroked her back, soothing her with the gentle caress.

The lyrics of an old song swam through his head and he wondered if the songwriter realized just how right he had been. For John right here, right now being with Aeryn was what life was all about, and it was paradise. Not some green and blue world full of mountains and trees, but moments like these. Craning his neck, he looked down on a sleeping Aeryn, her face relaxed and smiling. Smiling himself, he closed his eyes and drifted back into a quiet and newfound peace.

Excerpt from So Quiet in Here,' by Van Morrison

The warm look of radiance on your face
And your heart beating so close to mine
And the evening fading in the candle glow
This must be what it's all about
Oh this must be what it's all about
This must be what paradise is like
So quiet in here, so peaceful here
So quiet in here, so peaceful here

All my struggling in the world
And so many dreams that don't come true
Step back, put it all away
It don't matter, it don't matter anymore
Oh this must be what paradise is like
This must be what paradise is like
So quiet in here, so peaceful in here
So quiet in here, so peaceful here.

The song above is owned by whomever owns that Van Morrison song, aka - not me. Farscape is owned by various folk like Sci-fi channel, Henson Productions, etc. Not me. I am just playing here.