Chris Cairns
From Cricnet

From going all round the park, and being all over the place, to the mantle of best all-rounder in the world.

Chris Cairns is a fast car that has taken the B-roads to world greatness.

Chris Cairns is the best cricketer in the world. He is also the best looking cricketer in the world with the best hair and best sponsor - he 'just does it'. Chris Cairns has always been the best allrounder in the world - just sometimes the numbers he produced didn't fully reflect that he was. Looking from the outside, but not too far away, things changed for the big man on the posing of a simple question, "How do you want to be remembered?" this hit the spot. He was at that time, on the road to being remembered as the boy who had all the talent in the world - and wasted it. There is a phrase 'to know and not to use, is not to know'. This was Chris Cairns and it was doing him in.

Despite much publicised mistakes, errors of judgement, and the pressure of growing up in public within New Zealand's passionate sport orientated country, he had still performed as well as any other latter-day Kiwi. He'd scored brilliant hundreds, taken five wicket bags, but he still wasn't accepted as being any good. He was always regarded as a distant second to his dad, former legendary New Zealand seam bowler Lance Cairns who was part of 'Hadlee's New Zealand'.

Cairns did ok in last years World Cup, belted Warne out of South Wales a few times, but bowled second and third change at brisk medium pace. Deciding to try to bowl and 'do a bit with it'. The first Test at Edgbaston came and went with him not even getting a bowl in the second innings. THINGS HAD TO CHANGE.

He went to play for the 'blackcaps' in a first class game against Kent at Canterbury and things changed. Chris Cairns ran in and bowled fast, and was reborn. He bowled England out at Lord's with long spells at 85mph plus. It took an awful lot out of him - but he'd bowled England out at the home of cricket, at the end of the day - BOWLING IS ALL ABOUT SWEATING EFFORT.

He has not looked back since. The series hinged on the last match at the Foster's H'oval. Cairns was injured, to the point of being in pieces, but was glued together sufficiently well to play. He bowled England out, and the innings he played to clinch the series was staggering. Huge hitting, accompanied by the 'on line' commentary supplied by Alec Stewart behind the stumps, evaluating every huge hit off Phil Tufnell in comparison to the last huge hit. He damn near knocked the Oval down that day. Man-of-the-match, Man-of the series - Man from boy.

He has since destroyed the West Indies and has gained the respect of the Australians, hitting Warne out of the attack in the last three innings of the series. At the start of the series, the Aussies leaked it out that they thought Cairns was weak - and he isn't! New Zealand lost the series, but Cairns won over the Australians. Chris Cairns is the current International Cricketer of the Year.

Now what for Cairns? He's 30 now and has his eye on 300 Test wickets - Cairns is a bowler at heart. There are any number of counties after him for next season. He is not in any hurry to commit pen to paper. When over in England playing for the Rest-of-the-world V Asia the phone was white-hot with offers of county cricket. He loves being in England, as he becomes relatively anonymous compared to when in New Zealand's goldfish bowl atmosphere. Over here he gets a chance to relax, hard!!

He has started out on a 4-month tour of Singapore, Zimbabwe, Kenya and Southern Africa, before returning home to New Zealand for the Boxing Day Test at Wellington's Basin Reserve. He will then play two more three Test series before the International calendar ends in April, leaving enough time to play an English season, maybe/maybe not? He is currently slaying Zimbabwe single-handedly.

Having written this load of old tosh, it doesn't really do his story justice - there's loads of stuff I could have put in, but you wouldn't believe it. I think he'll reserve that for his book.

On a cricket field, there is no-one with more talents. Off the field, Cairns is a most generous and loyal friend. Chris Cairns even owns a fudge factory for Christ sake! He's a massive bloke, he's a bloke's bloke, lovely to other people's wives, great hair, enormously talented, generous to a fault, very funny, colossal hitter of a cricket ball or golf ball, friend of royalty, kind to animals and children and a fast bowler. Thankfully for the rest of us, and the only thing that keeps me going is that he only has an average sized penis.

Chris Cairns is currently the best cricketer in the world, and appearing on a stage near you soon.