director
Len Wiseman
screenwriter
Danny McBride
story by
Kevin Grevioux
Len Wiseman
Danny McBride
producers
Gary Lucchesi
Tom Rosenberg
Richard S. Wright
cinematographer
Tony Pierce-Roberts
music
Paul Haslinger
editor
Martin Hunter
cast
Kate Beckinsale (Selene)
Scott Speedman (Michael Corvin)
Shane Brolly (Kraven)
Michael Sheen (Lucian)
Bill Nighy (Viktor)
Erwin Leder (Singe)
Sophia Myles (Erika)
Kevin Grevioux (Raze)
mpaa rating: R
running
time: 121m
u.s.
release: 9/19/03
video
availability: VHS -
DVD
official
website
see also:
- underworld:
evolution
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It's an underworld, all right.
This goddamn movie is shot at night, in dank tunnels, or during
incessant thunderstorms; it seems to unfold in a post-sunlight
universe, where vampires and werewolves can walk among us unnoticed
because it's so dark Ronald McDonald could walk among
us unnoticed. Chief among many problems with Underworld
is that the fashionable gothic-industrial-grunge look never lets
up. Even scenes set in the human world (aboveworld?) are moody
and oppressive. The great horror directors understand that we're
at our most dread-ridden when night is falling -- when
there's contrast between the relatively safe daytime and the
gathering of shadows. In Underworld, night has fallen,
and it stays fallen.
But then this isn't really
a horror movie, despite the encouraging presence of vampires
and werewolves (the latter are called "lycans" here,
short for "lycanthropes," I assume). No, Underworld
reads more as an action flick with feeble romantic elements.
War has raged between the vampires and the lycans for centuries.
Vampire "death dealers," one of whom is Kate Beckinsale
in full Carrie Anne Moss drag as Selene, hunt down the lycans
with silver bullets. The lycans, for their part, have developed
bullets containing ultraviolet light. The mythos of both vampires
and werewolves is thrown to the winds here, by the way. Sometimes
werewolves can metamorphose at will, sometimes the full moon
presses the issue. I also enjoyed the many instances in which
vampires are seen in reflections (mirrors, glass) and on surveillance
cameras.
Selene reads the screenplay
and realizes that she's supposed to fall in love with Michael
(Scott Speedman), a human targeted for initiation by the lycans.
Selene's vamp posse, including the scowling Kraven (Shane Brolly,
distinguishing himself with the worst performance I've seen this
year), wonder why she wants to protect Michael; they haven't
read the screenplay, but then I wonder if director Len Wiseman
did, either. I wouldn't blame him if he hadn't. Underworld
offers a handful of shootouts wrapped around very many scenes
wherein elders purse their lips and speak gravely of significant
matters, which is great news for those of you who didn't get
enough of that in The
Matrix Reloaded. Indeed, Underworld, from its
tight black costuming of Kate Beckinsale to its slow-mo battle
scenes to its black-on-blue look, plays like an appetizer for
Matrix fans awaiting the five-course meal of Matrix
Revolutions.
Beckinsale looks adorable with
fangs (what woman doesn't, really?), but she's as humorless here
as the rest of the cast. I don't ask for pratfalls or Scream-like
dialogue dissecting the genre, but couldn't there have been just
one laugh? Just one scene where someone seems happy or passionate
about something? (I would've said "just one smile,"
but various characters do engage in portentous evil sneers.)
Sniffing around for levity, we may chortle inappropriately when
we see the lycan headquarters, where lycan men gnash at each
other for fun (aren't there any female lycans, by the way?),
and the vampire mansion, where these terrifying creatures stand
around, crease their eyebrows, and then continue to stand around.
Poor human Michael gets batted
around between the vampires and the lycans, and the script unfurls
a lot of backstory we don't care about illuminating plot mysteries
we also don't care about. I can say, however, that the creation
of a half-vampire-half-werewolf results in a guy who resembles
a really pissed-off Smurf. Also that there's room underground
for an entire vampire train -- an archaic locomotive where the
film's most incomprehensible massacre happens. Underworld
takes a terrific drive-in premise and wastes it on techno-flavored
action and deadly dull characters. It feels like issue #23 of
a comic book that ran out of gas around issue #9.
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