DIRECTOR
Jeremiah Chechik
SCREENWRITER
Don MacPherson
based
on the TV series created by
Sydney Newman
PRODUCER
Jerry Weintraub
CINEMATOGRAPHER
Roger Pratt
MUSIC
Joel McNeely
EDITOR
Mick Audsley
CAST
Ralph Fiennes (John Steed)
Uma Thurman (Emma Peel)
Sean Connery (Sir August de Wynter)
Patrick Macnee (Invisible Jones, voice)
Jim Broadbent (Mother)
Fiona Shaw (Father)
Eddie Izzard (Bailey)
Eileen Atkins (Alice)
John Wood (Trubshaw)
MPAA rating: PG-13
Running
time: 89m
U.S. release: August 14, 1998
Video availability: VHS - DVD
Official
website
Other Jeremiah
Chechik films
reviewed on this site:
- Diabolique
|
The
Avengers is so thoroughly
and consistently awful that I've actually wasted some time wondering
whether its makers intended it that way. If so, the movie is
brilliant -- a successful blend of terrible acting, a flat-out
incomprehensible plot, groan-inducing dialogue, ridiculous action
sequences, and artistic failures on every level. It may well
have a second life on video as an Ed Wood movie for the '90s,
a Cheez Whiz fiasco to rent and guffaw at with a bunch of wise-ass
friends. In fact, let's look at it from another angle: Why is
this movie so bad? Some theories:
· Ralph Fiennes, who plays secret agent John Steed
(the role filled by Patrick Macnee in the BBC-TV series), must
have grown tired of giving good performances. So he decided to
phone in his performance as Steed, reciting his lines in a dull
upper-class monotone occasionally punctuated by a smug little
smirk. The result is stunning -- the worst acting by a great
actor since Al Pacino in Revolution, though unlike Al,
Ralph doesn't get to deliver a line as fabulously shitheaded
as "My mouth belongs anywhere I put it."
· Uma Thurman obviously wanted to undercut her
sex-symbol image by making herself look really stupid. She does
this in The Avengers by pouring herself into her Emma
Peel suit (and I gotta say, Elizabeth Hurley in Austin
Powers wore it better), affecting a now-you-hear-it-now-you-don't
English accent, and playing a delirious scene in a straitjacket
that will certainly get the movie a spot in Movieline's
"Bad Movies We Love" column.
· After years of watching other actors ham it up
as Bond villains, Sean Connery must have wanted to try it himself.
As Sir August de Wynter, who wants to control the weather all
over the planet, he's a real glazed ham, all right. I mean, you
stare at him in this movie and you think "My God, he doesn't
even seem like Sean Connery." Dr. Evil had more dignity
than this, for Christ's sake. Sean's lowlight comes early, when
he's addressing a roomful of henchmen dressed in ... you ready?
... teddy-bear costumes. Connery also wears one, though
he takes the head off so we can see who he is. He should've left
it on.
· Director Jeremiah Chechik apparently was curious
to see if he could make a movie worse than his remake of Diabolique.
After a wide search (so goes my theory), he settled on the Avengers
script by Don MacPherson, who fills entire scenes with rapid-fire
repartee that's meant to be witty but so painfully isn't.
MacPherson also knows a knee-slapping pun when he sees one. Walking
through a shrubbery maze like the one in The Shining,
Emma Peel says "It's amazing." Ha ha ha! Get it? A-maze-ing?
And there are just so many more like it!
· Having read this masterpiece of stupidity, Chechik
(still according to my theory) rushed headlong into production,
making sure to pace every scene like a snail crawling up a mountain
of flypaper backwards; also taking extra care to make each big
set-piece as stupefyingly implausible as possible, from the robot
wasps to the magnificently brain-damaged climax, in which Steed
and De Wynter duke it out on a metal bridge during a thunderstorm.
Guys, there's this thing called "indoors." It's a safer
place to be when you're fighting each other with metal objects
during a storm.
· Finally, Warner Bros. must have monitored
this production at every step of incompetence along the way --
from the script to the dailies to the final cut -- and decided
to release it anyway. Since Warner is coming off a devastating
year full of megabudget flops like The Postman and Sphere,
their commitment to a movie that makes The Postman look
like Battleship Potemkin brings tears of admiration to
my eyes. Yes, everyone involved with the making of The Avengers
has pooled their talents to make something very special. We have
to recognize perfection in all its forms, wherever we find it,
and what we have here is a perfect piece of shit. |
