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Let's face it, Disneyphiles are a strange breed, the cast-offs from society, mismatched parcels of oddity wrapped up in mouse ears. You might find rather than getting party invitations, you're receiving strange looks and mutters of "Freak!" Never fear, Comrades of the Mickey Clan,
I'm here to teach you how to stand alone, to be apart from society, to even encourage their desertion of you -- we're no lowly average people, after all, we're Disneyphiles! So how does one go about losing any possible friends, you may ask? Using this handy guide, it's surprisingly simple.
Firstly, take mouse ears, confetti and food shaped like three round circles to wherever you're going on the 17th of July, 18th of November or 5th of December, and announce proudly that you're simply honouring the birthdays of, respectively, Disneyland, Mickey and Minnie or Walt, the man himself of course.
Whenever you see someone about to bite into a delicious red apple, run over and announce it's poisoned and designed to send them into a death sleep broken only be love's first kiss, then confiscate it, for their own good of course.
When trying to get someone to look away from you cry out in a fake English accent (unless of course you happen to be English, whereupon the accent is real) "Oh look, Bananas!" and point. If this doesn't work, continue on with "And daddy, they took my boot! Can't we WAAAAALK? Clayton! Yes! Clayton! Tarzan ... Oh I see." By this time, they'll be walking away in disgust.
Any time someone mentions a random number(maths class is a good time for this) declare loudly "but ther's always room for one more! - no wait, that's 999, isn't it?" Should you hear something about red hair, always follow up with "me wants the redhead!"
When someone first gets introduced to you reply "oh no, we've met before. Once upon a dream."
When walking down a crowded street start singing loudly, "strolling along down the - what's that word again? Street."
At random intervals, recite whole movie dialogues. Ocassionally inform people they look like Disney characters, particularly Goofy.
Carry Disney toys in your pocket with just their arms hanging out, and should people pick them up declare "you're hurting him!"
If you have a Disney website, write the address of it on your forehead and those of all your friends and family members, and walk around busy places, including the Disney parks.
Convince everyone that three shapes together are Mickey Mouse.
Around really depressed/angry people hum cheerfully "zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay! My oh my, what a wonderful day!"
When carefully following all of these aforementioned steps, it will only be a matter of time until you've achieved your goal of total isolation.
