================= ================= [HORSE HOOVES POUNDING AND SIX-GUNS SHOOTING] [COWBOYS AND INDIANS HOOTING AND HOLLERING] [SPRING SQUEAKING] " WHOOPATEE-AY-YO " " GIT ALONG, LITTLE DOGIES " " IT'S YOUR MISFORTUNE AND NONE OF MY OWN " " WHOOPATEE-AY-YO " " GET ALONG, LITTLE DOGIES " " FOR YOU KNOW NEW YORK " " WILL BE YOUR NEW HOME " " WHOOPATEE-AY-YO " " GIT ALONG, LITTLE DOGIES " " IT'S YOUR MISFORTUNE AND NONE OF MY OWN... " WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK? WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK? WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK? " GIT ALONG, LITTLE DOGIES "" WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK? LOOK AT THIS CRAP. YEAH, WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK? WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK? WHERE'S THAT JOE BUCK? YOU'RE DUE HERE AT 4:00. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH THEM DISHES. AND IF YOU AIN'T MAN ENOUGH TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF, I'D BE HAPPY TO OBLIGE. I REALLY WOULD. " EVERYBODY'S TALKIN' AT ME " " I DON'T HEAR A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' " " ONLY THE ECHOES OF MY MIND " " PEOPLE STOPPIN', STARIN' " " I CAN'T SEE THEIR FACES " " ONLY THE SHADOWS OF THEIR EYES " " I'M GOIN' WHERE THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' " " THROUGH THE POURIN' RAIN " " GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER SUITS MY CLOTHES " " BANKIN' OFF OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS " " SAILIN' ON A SUMMER BREEZE " " AND SKIPPIN' OVER THE OCEAN " " LIKE A STONE " " WAAH WAAH WAAH-WAAH WAAH " " WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH " " WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH " " WAAH " " I'M GOIN' WHERE THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' " " THROUGH THE POURIN' RAIN " " GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER SUITS MY CLOTHES " [HONK] " BANKIN' OFF OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS " " SAILIN' ON A SUMMER BREEZE " " AND SKIPPIN' OVER THE OCEAN " " LIKE A STONE " " EVERYBODY'S TALKIN' AT ME... " HOW YA DOIN', RALPH? HEY. 4:00. 4:00 TO MIDNIGHT. THAT'S WHEN YOU'RE DUE HERE. MR. EPPERSON, I WONDER IF YOU COULD HAVE A WORD WITH ME. WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING IN THAT GETUP? GRAB AN APRON, CLEAN UP THAT CRAP. HELL, HE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL HE CAN DO WITH THAT CRAP. AIN'T YOU COMING TO WORK? I GUESS NOT, RALPH. I JUST COME FOR MY PAY. I'M HEADING UP EAST. HEADING UP EAST? I THOUGHT I'D SAY GOODBYE TO YOU. JUST COME TO LOOK AROUND. CUPS. HAH. WELL... GOODBYE. GOODBYE. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO BACK EAST? THERE'S A LOT OF RICH WOMEN THERE-- BEGGING FOR IT, PAYING FOR IT, TOO. YEAH? AND THE MEN ARE MOSTLY TUTTI-FRUITIES. I BETCHA IT'S A MESS BACK THERE. SO I'LL CASH IN ON THAT. I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT IT. WHAT I GOT TO STAY AROUND HERE FOR? I GOT PLACES TO GO. " WAAH WAAH WAAH-WAAH WAAH " " WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH " " WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH " " WAAH... " OHH. AHH. OH, THAT'S NICE. OH, LOWER. OH. AHH. OH, THAT'S REAL... NICE, HONEY. " WAAH " " BA-DEE-DA-LEE-BOP BOPPIN-DEE-BOP BO " " BA-DEE-DA-LEE-BOP BOPPIN-DEE-BOP BO " " EVERYBODY'S TALKIN' AT ME " " CAN'T HEAR A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN'... " PTA TOMORROW NIGHT IN THE HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM AT 7:00. PARENTS GOING-- " I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE MY LOVE BEHIND " SURE IS A POWERFUL MOTHER, AIN'T IT? YEAH, SURE IS A POWERFUL MOTHER. " BANKIN' OFF OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS " " SAILIN' ON A SUMMER BREEZE " " AND SKIPPIN' OVER THE OCEAN " " LIKE A STONE " [GUNSHOTS] THIS IS THE SHOOTING SEASON. NOW'S THE TIME TO GO TO LLOYD'S DISCOUNT STORE FOR ALL OF YOUR GUN SUPPLIES. LISTEN TO THESE VALUES. REMINGTON SHOTGUN FOR ONLY... [SALLY BUCK] YOU LOOK REAL NICE, LOVER BOY. REAL NICE. MAKE YOUR OLD GRANDMA PROUD. YOU'LL BE THE BEST-LOOKING COWBOY IN THE WHOLE PARADE. YOU'LL BE THE BEST-LOOKING ONE THERE. OHH. BYE, HONEY. I'LL LEAVE A TV DINNER IN THE FRIDGE. YOUR OLD GRANDMA GOT HERSELF A NEW BEAU. EXCUSE ME, MISTER, BUT DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER PIECE OF GUM FOR HER? OH, YES'M, MA'AM, I DO. HERE. TAKE ONE FOR YOURSELF. THANK YOU, NO. IT'S JUST TILL THE DRAMAMINE WORKS. SHE GETS CARSICK. I ONLY GET CARSICK ON BOATS. BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT'S MORE THE FISH SMELL THAN THE BOUNCING. HOW FAR YOU HEADED? TO DALLAS. UP DALLAS, ARE YOU? WHERE YOU GOIN'? I'M HEADIN' ON UP NEW YORK CITY. HMM. I'M GOIN' WHERE THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' " " THROUGH THE POURIN' RAIN " " GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER SUITS MY CLOTHES " " BANKIN' OFF OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS " " SAILIN' ON A SUMMER BREEZE " " AND SKIPPIN' OVER THE OCEAN " " LIKE A STONE "" [ANASTASIA] DO YOU LOVE ME, JOE? DO YOU LOVE ME? YOU LOVE ME? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, JOE. YOU-YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE. YOU'RE BETTER, JOE. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THE REST. YOU'RE BETTER THAN ANY OF THEM, JOE. YOU LOVE ME, JOE? YOU'RE BETTER THAN ALL OF THEM. LOVE ME, JOE. JOE. JOE. JOE. DO YOU LOVE ME, JOE? DO YOU LOVE ME? LOVE ME. AHH. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, JOE. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE. YOU'RE THE BEST, JOE. YOU'RE THE BEST. [SWITCHING STATIONS ON RADIO] [ANNOUNCER] CONSECUTIVE BROADCAST OF THE SUNSHINE HOUR. [EVANGELIST] OH, YES, SWEET JESUS, I TELL YOU, FAITH HEALETH. I GOT A LETTER FROM A SISTER ENCLOSING $10 AND TWO MALIGNANT TUMORS SHE COUGHED UP DURING LAST WEEK'S PRAYER MEETING ON THE AIR. PRAISE JESUS! BEFORE WE JOIN IN PRAYER FOR THIS POOR SISTER, JESUS WANTS TO KNOW HOW MANY SENT IN $5.00 FOR THEIR HOME-WORSHIP KIT? YOU WANT A CIGARETTE, SIR? NO, THANKS. CHEW TOBACCO. SING ALONG WITH SISTER ROSELLA. THROW IN SISTER ROSELLA, YOU GOT A DEAL. RIGHT, OLD-TIMER? " OH, GLORY... " SAY, YOU EVER RUN INTO A COWHAND BY THE NAME OF WOODSY NILES? WOODSY NILES, SIR? NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE. FRIEND OF MY GRANDMA SALLY BUCK. " BUT MY JESUS SAVED ME " " WASHED MY SINS AWAY... "" [WHISTLING] I WANT IT ON. " HUSH, LITTLE BABY " " DON'T SAY A WORD " " GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU A MOCKIN' BIRD " " AND IF THAT MOCKIN' BIRD DON'T SING " " GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU A GOLDEN RING " " AND IF THAT GOLDEN RING TURNS BRASS " " GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU A LOOKIN' GLASS " " AND IF THAT LOOKIN' GLASS GETS BROKE " " GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU A BILLY GOAT " " HUSH, LITTLE BABY " " DON'T SAY A WORD " " GRANDMA'S GONNA BUY YOU A MOCKIN' BIRD "" [MAN AND WOMAN LAUGHING] [CHILD LAUGHING] " AND IT'S HI, HI, HEY " " IT'S THE FIELD ARTILLERY " " SHOUT OUT YOUR COLORS LOUD AND STRONG... "" [RADIO STATIC] " 77 WABC " 77 RADIO IN NEW YORK. THIS IS RON LUNDY. THIS IS WABC. THAT'S NEW YORK TALKIN' THERE, MA'AM. HEAR THAT? LET'S ASK SOME OF THE LADIES HERE. MA'AM, WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL IN A MAN? MY IDEAL IS GARY COOPER, BUT...HE'S DEAD. THANK YOU. MA'AM, WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL IN A MAN? A MAN WHO TAKES PRIDE IN HIS APPEARANCE. KINDLY CONSIDERATION FIRST. TALL. DEFINITELY TALL. SOMEONE I CAN TALK TO IN BED. A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR. NOT AFRAID OF SEX. A TEXAS OIL MAN. AGGRESSIVENESS. OUTDOOR TYPE. A REBEL. YOUNG. YOU. YA-HOO! UH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 1, 2, 3, 4! " AND WHERE'ER WE GO, WE WILL ALWAYS KNOW " " THAT THE CAISSONS GO ROLLING... "" THANK YOU. SHIT. A GRAND TIME TALKING TO MRS. TREVIN WHO'S GOING TO GIVE US HER REMEDY FOR INSOMNIA. IT'S PRETTY UNUSUAL, BUT, ANYWAY, I MOVE FURNITURE AROUND, SO HELP ME. EVERYTHING BUT THE SOFA. AND THAT'S MY REMEDY FOR INSOMNIA. MY REMEDY IS, MA'AM, JUST DIAL THE HOTEL, ASK FOR JOE BUCK. I IRON MY HUSBAND'S SHIRTS. JOE BUCK. ON THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY MORGAN-VANDERCOOK. UP YOUR INCOME WITH SOUND... UP YOUR INCOME, LADY. AZIMIR OIL--20 7/8, UP 1 5/8. COMMONWEAL UNITED-- 22 1/2, UP 1 3/8. MOHAWK DATA SCIENCE IS 64 5/8, DOWN 1 1/8. MOLYBDENITE CORPORATION OF CANADA--6, UP 1/2. LOEWS THEATRE WARRANTS-- 34, UP 1 1/2. MERRILL ISLAND MINING-- 4 1/16, UP 1/8. ON THE BIG BOARD, THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE CLOSED UP 6.25. " EVERYBODY'S TALKIN' AT ME " " I DON'T HEAR A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' " " ONLY THE ECHOES OF MY MIND " " PEOPLE STOPPIN', STARIN' " " I CAN'T SEE THEIR FACES " " ONLY THE SHADOWS OF THEIR EYES " " I'M GOING WHERE THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' " " THROUGH THE POURIN' RAIN " " GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER SUITS MY CLOTHES " " BANKIN' OFF OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS " " SAILIN' ON A SUMMER BREEZE " " AND SKIPPIN' OVER THE OCEAN " " LIKE A STONE " " EVERYBODY'S TALKIN' AT ME " " CAN'T HEAR A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' " " ONLY THE ECHOES OF MY MIND " " I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE MY LOVE BEHIND " " NO, I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE "" BEG YOUR PARDON, MA'AM. I'M NEW HERE IN TOWN, JUST IN FROM TEXAS, AND I'M LOOKIN' FOR THE STATUE OF LIBERTY. MA'AM. WERE YOU SERIOUS, ABOUT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? OH, YES, MA'AM. I MEAN BUSINESS. I'M SORRY. I... WELL. WELL...OH, THE STATUE OF LIBERTY, NOW... WELL, I THINK YOU TAKE THE SEVENTH AVENUE SUBWAY. NO, WAIT. YOU SURE ARE A PRETTY LADY. YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR THE STATUE OF LIBERTY AT ALL. NO, MA'AM, I AIN'T. WHY, YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. COME ON, BABY, DO IT FOR MAMA. COME ON, BABY. MAMA'S TIRED. BABY, COME ON. [ARF ARF] DO IT FOR MAMA. HEY, YOU LITTLE OL' DOG. HOW YOU DOING THERE? THEY GOT YOU ALL GUSSIED UP FOR SOME DAMN THING, PARDON ME, MA'AM. I'M BRAND-NEW IN TOWN. I WAS HOPIN' TO GET A LOOK AT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY. A LOOK AT WHAT? UH, STATUE OF LIBERTY. IT'S UP IN CENTRAL PARK TAKING A LEAK. IF YOU HURRY UP, YOU'LL CATCH THE SUPPER SHOW. HE'S PICKING SOMETHING UP FOR ME. [ARF] I JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGE. HOW DO YOU FEEL? I HAVE SUCH A HEAD. I LOVED YOUR FRIEND MR. NEEDLEMAN, THE LAST OF THE GREAT KING MIDASES. GO, GO, GO. IT WAS EXHAUSTING. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, MAURY-- OH, GOD. STOP. I DIE FROM THAT. [MAURY] WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? I WAS JUST TALKING TO BABY. I WAS TALKING TO THE DOG. PLEASE, YOU'RE ANNOYING ME. DON'T START UP AGAIN. I'M ANNOYING YOU? WHY DON'T YOU SAY HELLO TO BABY? BABY WANTS TO SAY HELLO TO YOU. I DON'T WANT TO SAY HELLO TO THE DOG. GO AHEAD. DADDY WANTS TO SAY HELLO TO YOU. HELLO, BABY. HELLO, BABY. HELLO, YOU GODDAMN DOG. BOW WOW WOW, BABY. AM I GOING TO SEE YOU TONIGHT? WHERE DO YOU WANT TO EAT? WHEREVER YOU SAY. JUST YOU AND ME, CATCH AN EARLY SUPPER AT LINDY'S. WHAT TIME? LIKE 5:30. WE DON'T HAVE TO RUSH. MY WIFE'S AWAY. HER MOTHER'S SICK. BEAUTIFUL, BABY. I CAN STAY ALL NIGHT. HOW ABOUT A KISS? YOU GOT IT-- A BIG WET ONE TILL I SEE YOU. HEY. HEY, OH, BABY, SAVE SOME OF THAT FOR TONIGHT. HEY, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. [ARF ARF] [ARF] [LAUGHING] WELCOME TO DATELINE, THE NEW TELEPHONE FUN GAME. IN OUR ISOLATION BOOTHS-- IS IT BECAUSE I'M A STABLEHAND? 1...2. 1...2. AND REST. ON YOUR FEET. DO YOU THINK GOD IS DEAD? SUPPOSE WE DON'T JUST TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE. [WHISTLING] 1... WHAT IF I TOOK MY MOTHER ALONG? OH, MY GOD! IT EVEN MAKES BLACK WHITER. BRING YOUR KNEES UP. " HO HO HO " AAH! OHH! OHH! WHOO-HA! HEY, CASS, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GOT HERE? YOU GOT YOURSELF A DAMN PENTHOUSE. A REAL DAMN PENTHOUSE, CASS. DON'T LOOK, BABY. HMM. KNOCK OFF A COUPLE POUNDS HERE AND THERE, AND I'D REALLY BE A GORGEOUS CHICK. DON'T TOUCH. I'M LATE ALREADY. WHAT TIME IS IT? OH, MY GOD. STRAIGHTEN OUT THE BED FOR ME, WILL YOU, TEX? SAY, CASS, I SURE HAVE ENJOYED BEING HERE. THIS IS AS FINE A TIME AS I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. ME, TOO, LOVER. WELL, THAT'S GOOD. IT IS. THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO AT HOME, I ALMOST HATE TO BRING UP BUSINESS. IT'S MURDER, ISN'T IT? WHAT LINE ARE YOU IN? ZIP ME UP, WILL YOU, TEX? MAURY'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS ULCERS. WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT LINE MAURY'S IN, BUT, MYSELF, NOW, I'M A... KIND OF HUSTLER. PERSON'S GOT TO MAKE A LIVING. UH, PARDON ME, MA'AM? I SAID, A PERSON'S GOT TO MAKE A LIVING. SURE YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID? SORRY, TEX. MY MIND ISN'T ALL HERE. I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE. LISTEN, SWEETIE, RUN ALONG AND TAKE THE NUMBER. WE'LL GET IN TOUCH WITH EACH OTHER REAL SOON. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT? I FORGOT TO GET TO THE BANK. I HAVE TO TAKE A TAXI. I NEED A FEW BUCKS. I HATE TO ASK YOU, BUT YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL. YOU KNOW, CASS, THAT'S A FUNNY THING-- YOU MENTIONING MONEY, 'CAUSE I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK YOU FOR SOME. YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME FOR MONEY? HUH? WHY DO YOU THINK I COME UP HERE FROM TEXAS FOR? YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME FOR MONEY. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DEALING WITH, SOME OLD SLUT ON 42nd STREET? IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO NOTICE IT, YOU BIG TEXAS LONGHORN BULL, I'M ONE HELL OF A GORGEOUS CHICK. CASS, TAKE IT EASY. AT 28 YEARS OLD, YOU THINK YOU CAN COME UP HERE AND PULL THIS KIND OF CRAP UP HERE? I COULD KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS. WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE! AW, CASS, HONEY... [SOBBING] AW, CASS, COME ON NOW. [DOG WHIMPERS] DO YOU THINK I MEANT THAT? WOULD I BE ASKING YOU FOR MONEY WITH A WAD LIKE I GOT RIDING ON MY HIP? STOP YOUR CRYING. YOU'RE ONE GORGEOUS CHICK. GUY GETS HORNY JUST LOOKING AT YOU. HOW MUCH MONEY YOU WANT FOR THAT DAMN TAXI? 5.00? 10? YOU WANT 10? 20. THERE YOU GO, GIRL. [SNIFFLING] " WAAH WAAH WAAH-WAAH WAAH " " WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH " " WAAH-WAAH WAAH-WAAH " " WAAH " " WAAH " " AAH "" TERRIFIC SHIRT. ARE YOU SPEAKING TO ME? I WAS JUST ADMIRING THAT COLOSSAL SHIRT. THAT IS ONE HELL OF A SHIRT. I'LL BET YOU PAID A PRETTY PRICE FOR IT. OH, IT AIN'T CHEAP. BIRDS. IT'S AN ALL RIGHT SHIRT. I LIKE BIRDS. I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE A LOT OF CHEAP STUFF ON MY BACK. HI, COWBOY. GOT A CIGARETTE? HEY, SWEETHEART. MORE GODDAMN FAGGOTS IN THIS TOWN. OH, KISS IT, RATSO. UP YOURS. GOT TO WATCH OUT FOR THAT. HEY, YOU REALLY KNOW THE ROPES. I WISH I'D BUMPED INTO YOU BEFORE. I'M JOE BUCK FROM TEXAS. ENRICO RIZZO FROM THE BRONX. I'M GOING TO BUY YOU A DRINK. DON'T MIND IF I DO. BARTENDER, DRINKS ALL AROUND. ONE FOR MY FRIEND HERE, TOO. I KNOW WHEN I GIVE SATISFACTION, I GIVE HER SATISFACTION. SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? SHE GOT A PENTHOUSE UP THERE WITH A COLOR TV AND MORE DIAMONDS THAN A ARCHBISHOP, AND SHE BUSTS OUT BAWLING WHEN I ASK HER FOR MONEY. FOR WHAT? FOR MONEY. WAIT A MINUTE. FOR MONEY FOR WHAT? WELL, HELL, I'M A HUSTLER. YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? YOU GOT TO TELL A PERSON THESE THINGS. I'M A HUSTLER. SHH! SHH! SHH! ALL RIGHT, UH, YOU'RE A HUSTLER, BUT, I MEAN, YOUR PICKING UP TRADE ON THE STREET LIKE THAT-- THAT'S NOWHERE. YOU GOT TO GET YOURSELF SOME KIND OF MANAGEMENT. I THINK YOU'VE PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? YOU NEED MY FRIEND O'DANIEL. HE OPERATES THE BIGGEST STABLE IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN METROPOLITAN AREA. IT'S STUPID, A STUD LIKE YOU PAYING. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE STUPID. I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND. A DAME STARTS CRYING, I'D CUT MY HEART OUT FOR HER. THAT'S A VERY MINOR OPERATION. IN FACT, YOU JUST SIT COMFY. I'LL CUT IT OUT WITH MY FINGERNAIL FILE, RATSO. THE NAME'S RIZZO. THAT'S WHAT I SAID. RATSO. HEY, NOW YOU HEARD HIM. THAT'S ALL RIGHT, JOE, I'M USED TO THESE TYPES THAT GET THEIR KICKS PICKIN' ON CRIPPLES. THE SEWER'S FULL OF THEM. IF YOU'RE SITTING OVER HERE AND HE'S SITTING ALL THE WAY OVER THERE, THEN HOW'S HE GOING TO GET HIS HAND INTO YOUR POCKET? SUPPOSE YOU LET ME-- I GUESS HE'S GOT THAT ALL FIGURED OUT. GOOD NIGHT, SWEETS. FAGGOT. PROVOLONE. FAGGOT. THESE GALS THAT WANT TO BUY IT, MOST OF THEM ARE OLD AND DIGNIFIED, SOCIAL REGISTER TYPES, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THEY DON'T TROT DOWN TO TIMES SQUARE TO PICK OUT THE MERCHANDISE. THEY NEED A MIDDLEMAN. THAT'S WHERE O'DANIEL COMES IN. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? [BRAKES SQUEAL] [HONK HONK] HEY! I'M WALKING HERE! [HONK HONK] I'M WALKING HERE! UP YOURS, YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU DON'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY. [HONK] GET OUT OF HERE! DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. ACTUALLY, THAT AIN'T A BAD WAY TO PICK UP INSURANCE, YOU KNOW. IT'S CRAZY, A STUD LIKE YOU PAYING THAT DAME THAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT DOUBLE SAWBUCKS. WITH PROPER MANAGEMENT, YOU COULD BE TAKING HOME 50, MAYBE $100 A DAY, EASY. HEY, BRUCIE. HANG IN THERE, BABY. WHAT'S THAT? HIM I PLACED WITH O'DANIEL TWO WEEKS AGO. HE AIN'T MUCH OF A STUD FROM WHAT I HEAR. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. HEY, HORSY. [COUGHING] HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE ME TO MEET THIS MR. O'DIDDLE BIRD RIGHT NOW? WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU'RE A NICE GUY. I'D BE DOING BOTH OF YOUSE A FAVOR, BUT FOR WHAT? WHAT AM I DRAGGING MY BUM LEG AROUND TOWN FOR? TOMORROW SOME PIECE LIKE THAT MIGHT BE SCRATCHING YOUR BACK OVER AT THE PLAZA. BUT WHERE WILL I BE? YOU THINK I'M THAT KIND OF SON OF A BITCH? JUST NAME YOUR CUT. WHATEVER YOU WANT, YOU GOT IT RIGHT NOW. ALL RIGHT. WHAT YOU WANT, 5? 10? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU KNOW WHAT I'D ASK SOMEBODY ELSE? ALL RIGHT. THERE'S 10 RIGHT THERE. I'LL TELL YOU. FORGET IT. I'LL DO--I'LL TAKE THE 10, BUT WHEN I TAKE YOU OVER TO SEE MR. O'DANIEL, I'LL HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER 10 JUST TO COVER EXPENSES. COME ON. I'LL BUY YOUSE COFFEE ON ME. GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON. FUCKING CREEPS. GO TO WORK. HE NEEDS YOU RIGHT NOW, TONIGHT. I GOT HIS TONGUE HANGING OUT. HIS NAME IS JOE BUCK. HE'S A COWBOY. HE JUST CAME IN FROM TEXAS. HE'S NEW TO THE CITY. HE DON'T QUITE KNOW THE ROPES YET, BUT HE'S VERY PROMISING MATERIAL, SIR. FABULOUS. RIGHT AWAY. WHAT'S YOUR ROOM NUMBER THERE AGAIN, SIR? RIGHT. O.K. 901, GOT IT? HEY, HOLD IT A SECOND, WILL YOU? UH, LET'S SEE HOW YOU LOOK. FINE. FINE. FINE. UH, THINK I COULD HAVE THAT OTHER 10 NOW? WHERE CAN I REACH YOU? I'LL MAKE THIS RIGHT WITH YOU SOON AS I GET ME SET UP. FORGET IT. I MEAN, DAMN IT, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? SHERRY NETHERLANDS HOTEL. SHERRY NETHERLANDS HOTEL. HURRY. GET YOUR ASS IN THERE. HE'S WAITING. WHAT ARE YOU, ON VACATION? CLOSE THE DOORS ON ME? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? YOU MUST BE JOE BUCK. YES, I AM. COME ON IN. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOU. TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND. GOOD STRONG BACK. YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT. SO YOU WANT HELP, EH? SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN. RELAX. COWBOY, EH? UH, WELL, SIR, I-- I AIN'T A FOR-REAL COWBOY, BUT I AM ONE HELL OF A STUD. TAKE IT EASY, BOY. IT SEEMS TO ME YOU'RE DIFFERENT FROM MOST OF THE BOYS THAT COME TO ME. MOST OF THOSE BOYS ARE TROUBLED AND CONFUSED. I'D SAY YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. OH, YOU BET I DO, SIR. YEAH. BUT I BET YOU GOT ONE THING IN COMMON WITH THOSE OTHER BOYS. I'LL BET YOU'RE LONESOME. WELL, NOT TOO. I MEAN, A LITTLE. YEAH. LONESOME. I'M LONESOME. SO I'M A DRUNK. [WOMAN] SHUT UP! I'M LONESOME, SO I'M A DOPE FIEND. I'M LONESOME, SO I'M A THIEF! I'M LONESOME, SO I'M A FORNICATOR, SHUT UP! A WHOREMONGER! POOP, I SAY. POOP! I'VE HEARD IT ALL! I'VE HEARD IT ALL, AND I'M SICK TO DEATH OF IT! I CAN SEE THAT. LONESOMENESS IS SOMETHING YOU TAKE, YOU HEAR? DAMN IT! YOU TAKE IT, AND YOU GO RIGHT ON WITH YOUR WORK! I'M RARIN' TO GO, SIR! YES, I BELIEVE YOU ARE. COWBOY, EH? YES, SIR. YEAH. READY FOR SOME HARD WORK, SON? I'M READY FOR ANYTHING. I RECKON IT'S GOING TO BE A LOT EASIER FOR YOU THAN FOR MOST OTHERS. IT WILL BE LIKE MONEY FROM HOME. THERE'S YOUR STRENGTH, SON. YOU'VE GOT THE WAY OF PUTTING THINGS EARTHY SO THAT ANYBODY CAN UNDERSTAND THEM. I WARN YOU, JOE BUCK. I'M GOING TO USE YOU. I'M GOING TO RUN YOU RAGGED! WHOO-HA! AH! YOU'RE WONDERFUL, BOY. YOU AND ME, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN TOGETHER. IT DON'T HAVE TO BE JOYLESS. HELL, NO. IT DON'T. SAY, WHY DON'T YOU AND ME GET RIGHT DOWN ON OUR KNEES RIGHT NOW? HOW'S THAT STRIKE YOU? WHERE? RIGHT HERE! HERE. HERE. RIGHT NOW. WHY NOT? WHY NOT? I'VE PRAYED ON THE STREETS. I'VE PRAYED IN THE SALOONS. I'VE PRAYED IN THE TOILETS. IT DON'T MATTER WHERE SO LONG AS HE GETS THAT PRAYER! SHIT! THAT'S THE TICKET, BOY! JUST OPEN YOUR HEART AND LET IT FLOW, LIKE THE RIVER. AS LONG AS YOU GET THAT LOVE FEELING! DON'T BE FRIGHTENED, SON! I BAPTIZE THEE, MY BROTHER, IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER... PRAY, AND YOU SHALL BE HEARD! AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. DON'T BE FRIGHTENED, SON. DON'T--DON'T RUN FROM JESUS. AAH! " BAH BUH " " BUH DUH " " BAH BUH " " BUH DUH " " BAH BUH "" HEY, YOU KNOW THAT RUNTY LITTLE BASTARD I WAS WITH? NO. I DON'T KNOW NOTHING, MAN. HA HA HA! HA HA HA! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! HA HA HA! WHAT'S THAT MONSTROSITY DOWN THERE? THAT'S A TOUPEE FOR DOGS. FOR DOGS? THIS IS FIFI'S WIG. THAT--THAT'S FOR THAT--FOR THAT DOG? HA HA HA! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS CROWD. THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON HERE. THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON HERE. NOW, REALLY, SERIOUSLY, ISN'T THIS REALLY A CASE OF CONNING A LOT OF LONELY PEOPLE? WELL, YES. WHO ELSE WOULD DO IT? WOMEN WITH LOTS OF CHILDREN WOULDN'T HAVE TIME. THERE'S A TV DINNER IN THE FRIDGE, LOVER BOY. EXPECT ME WHEN YOU SEE ME. I'LL LEAVE YOU MOVIE MONEY. [KISSING] I THINK THAT'S SICK, DRESSING UP A DOG TO LOOK LIKE A CHILD. THIS IS IN CASE SHE MEETS ANOTHER DOG. OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE. IT'S JUST TERRIBLE. [LAUGHTER] HA HA HA! I KNOW. IT'S... [LAUGHTER] [COIN DROPS] [HONK] GOLD AND... SILVER... AND CANDLELIGHT... AND WINE... AND SKYROCKETS... AND BUTTERFLY THOUGHTS THAT GLITTER IN YOUR MIND. [CLICK] YOU'RE SPECIAL. GIVE YOURSELF SPECIAL TREATMENT. NEED MONEY? WE'D LOVE TO LEND IT TO YOU. WHY WORRY ABOUT YOUR FUTURE? WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD? TAKE IT EASY... BUT TAKE IT. KEY TO ROOM 514, PLEASE, SIR? LOOKS LIKE, UH, YOU'VE BEEN LOCKED OUT OF YOUR ROOM, BUDDY, TILL YOU PICK UP THE TAB. WHAT ABOUT MY THINGS? OH, WE KEEP THEM NICE AND SAFE TILL YOU GET THIS THING SETTLED. YOU CAN KEEP ALL THE REST OF THE JUNK IF YOU JUST LET ME HAVE THE SUITCASE. THE SUITCASE MEANS A LOT TO ME. WE KEEP EVERYTHING. HOUSE RULES. " 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE QUEEN " " OF DIAMONDS " " I DREW FIRST " " MM-HMM " " INSTEAD I'LL FIND " " THE ACE OF SPADES " " THE ACE OF SPADES REVERSED " " HMM " " HE QUIT ME... " Y'ALL GOING TO EAT THEM CRACKERS? " HE UP " " AND QUIT ME " " MAN, YEAH " " HE QUIT ME " " YEAH " " HE UP " " AND QUIT ME " " MAN " " YEAH " " IT WASN'T BECAUSE " " I DIDN'T " " TREAT HIM " " RIGHT " " WHOA-OH " " AND, YOU KNOW " " I WONDER WHO COULD " " LEAVE HIM " " WHO COULD LEAVE HIM ON HIS SIDE " " 'CAUSE IT WASN'T ME " " NO, NO, NO, NO " " 'CAUSE HE QUIT ME " " HE'S GONE, GONE, GONE " " HE UP " " AND QUIT ME " " WHOA " " YEAH " " OH, HE QUIT ME, YEAH " " WHOA " " YEAH " " HE UP " " AND QUIT ME " " MAN, WHOA "" I SPILLED SOME ON ME. CAN YOU TELL ME HOW I GET TO GRAND CENTRAL? SHUTTLE. YOU FOLLOW THE GREEN LIGHTS. UH... OFFICER... HOW DO I GET TO GRAND CENTRAL? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GOT TO DO, COWBOY. [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] SPACECRAFT TO EARTH CONTROL. CHECK TRAJECTORY. WE HAVE A MALFUNCTION OF OUR INSTRUMENTS. CAPTAIN GRACE IS INVESTIGATING. ORBITAL MODULE HAS FAILED TO SEPARATE FROM UPPER STAGE BOOSTER AS PLANNED. EARTH CONTROL TO SPACECRAFT. YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS BEFORE YOU ARE INJECTED INTO LUNAR TRAJECTORY. ONLY 30 SECONDS. YOU READ ME? SPACECRAFT TO EARTH CONTROL. I READ YOU. CUT. CUT! I'VE LOST YOU. SPACECRAFT TO EARTH CONTROL. WE'VE LOST CONTACT WITH CAPTAIN GRACE. CAN YOU TRACK HIM? [ANASTASIA] KISS ME, JOE. KISS ME. EARTH CONTROL TO SPACECRAFT. HE'S IN FREE FALL. KEEP TRYING TO MAKE CONTACT. AHH! OH! OH, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, JOE. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE. YOU'RE KISSING CRAZY ANNIE, MAN? YOU BETTER DRINK A WHOLE DAMN DRUGSTORE. HEH HEH HEH! KISS ME, JOE. KISS ME. OH! OH! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, JOE. [ROCKET BLASTING OFF] I'M AWFUL DAMN SORRY THAT YOU'RE SICK... BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE ME THAT MONEY LIKE YOU SAID. I WAS LYING. I DON'T HAVE IT. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME? YOU AIN'T GOT $25? NO. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME? WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? YOU WANT ME TO BEAT ON YOU? HOW MUCH YOU GOT? NOTHING. EMPTY YOUR POCKETS OUT RIGHT OVER HERE. TAKE MY BOOKS. I DON'T WANT YOUR BOOKS. HOW MUCH IS THAT THING WORTH? NO. NO. DON'T. DON'T TAKE MY WATCH. PLEASE. DON'T TAKE IT. IT'S ONLY A CHEAP WATCH. IT'S NOT WORTH ANYTHING. I CAN'T GO HOME WITHOUT IT, EITHER. PLEASE, MY MOTHER WOULD DIE. DON'T TAKE IT. I CAN'T GO HOME. SHE'D DIE. SHE WOULD DIE. PLEASE. OH. I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN WATCH. PREPARING FOR THIS BRIEF MOMENT OF GLORY AT HALF-TIME, A BASIC TRAINING AS RIGOROUS AS THE STAR FOOTBALL PLAYERS' THEMSELVES-- LONG HOURS OF PRECISION CHOREOGRAPHY THAT WOULD PUT THE ROCKETTES TO SHAME, MUSICAL ARRANGEMENTS... REHEARSALS... COSTUME FITTINGS... A PRODUCTION IN HOLLYWOOD'S FINEST TRADITION. [HONK] THERE'S AN INVASION OF AMERICANS. YOU CAN SPOT THE INVADERS EASILY IF THEY'RE BY THEMSELVES. THEY'RE DARK, HEAVY, AND HAVE NOTICEABLE ACCENTS. EVERY DAY THEY'RE WORKING THEMSELVES INTO MORE HOMES. WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT THESE INVADERS? ENJOY THEM. NOVEMBER BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS EXPLAINS THE INVASION OF SWEDISH FURNITURE. DON'T HIT ME. COME ON, NOW. I'M A CRIPPLE. I AIN'T GOING TO HIT YOU! I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH. FIRST I'M GOING TO SHAKE YOU OUT. WHERE'S MY MONEY? HERE. PUT IT RIGHT THERE. ALL RIGHT. HERE. THAT'S ALL I GOT RIGHT THERE. THAT'S ALL YOU GOT? WHAT YOU GOT IN YOUR SOCKS? NOTHING. I SWEAR TO GOD. I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S EYES. NOTHING. HERE. 64 CENTS. GO AHEAD. COME ON. I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. AW, STICKY. WHAT DID YOU DO, SLOBBER ON IT? HAVE A CIGARETTE. COME ON. COME ON. [LIGHTS MATCH] COME ON. SIT DOWN. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT O'DANIEL, FLIPPING OUT LIKE THAT? HEH HEH HEH! I TRIED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU WHEN I HEARD, BUT I WAS LAID UP WITH THIS COLD. [COUGHING] HEY, YOU WANT SOME FREE MEDICAL ADVICE? YOU JUST KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT ABOUT THAT NIGHT. RIGHT. FINE. O.K. FINE. O.K. ANOTHER SUBJECT. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING AT? YOU STILL AT THE HOTEL? WHAT AM I DOING TALKING TO YOU? DAMN IT! SHIT. HEY, COME ON. [COINS CLATTER] WAIT UP, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! YOU KEEP AWAY FROM ME. COME NEAR ME, I'LL SNATCH YOU BALD-HEADED. I'M INVITING YOU. IF YOU'RE NOT LOCATED, I GOT A PLACE. I'M INVITING YOU, GOD DAMN IT! YOU'RE INVITING? SHIT! THE "X" ON THE WINDOW MEANS THE LANDLORD CAN'T COLLECT RENT, WHICH IS A CONVENIENCE 'CAUSE IT'S CONDEMNED. FRONT DOOR. I MEAN, I DON'T CARE. ACTUALLY I PREFER IT THAT WAY. IT KEEPS THE PUNKS AND THE CREEPS OUT. GOT MY OWN PRIVATE ENTRANCE HERE. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT IT. WATCH THE PLANK. WATCH THE PLANK. BREAK YOUR GODDAMN SKULL. NO WAY TO COLLECT INSURANCE. GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. OH, THERE'S GLASS THERE. OH, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TAKE THAT FRIDGE UP. GET IT, WILL YOU? YOU NEED ANY HELP? NO, I DON'T NEED NO HELP FROM YOU. YOU O.K.? IT'S NOT FAR. [RADIO PLAYS] IT'S JUST ONE MORE UP. ALL THE ELECTRIC'S OFF. I DON'T MESS WITH CON EDISON. IT'S ANOTHER CONVENIENCE, HUH, BUT THE ICEBOX WILL KEEP THE ROACHES FROM GETTING IN THE PERISHABLES. WHERE DID YOU STEAL THIS? STEAL? IT'S BEEN SITTING THERE FOR WEEKS. [GRUNTING] I MEAN BEFORE THEN. DON'T GET A HERNIA. GO AHEAD. JUST DROP IT ANYWHERE. [SWITCHING STATIONS] [COUGHING] NOT, UH, NOT BAD, HUH? [TOILET FLUSHING] THERE'S NO HEAT HERE, BUT, YOU KNOW, BY THE TIME WINTER COMES, I'LL BE IN FLORIDA. HEY, UH, DO YOU WANT TO STRETCH OUT HERE... MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE? O.K. GO AHEAD. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE-- TAKE A NAP? WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE? [SIREN] JOE? DO YOU LOVE ME, JOE? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, JOE. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE. JOE, DON'T YOU THINK SHE'S... JOE, DON'T YOU THINK SHE'S... STOP IT! I SAID STOP IT! [SIREN] HE'S THE ONE. HE'S THE ONLY ONE. [ANASTASIA] HE'S THE ONE. HE'S THE ONLY ONE. [BOTTLE BREAKS] [SIREN] LOOKS LIKE CASUALTY REPORTS HAVE BEEN ISSUED. THE AMERICAN INFORMATION OFFICER SAYS THERE HAVE BEEN 429 AMERICAN CASUALTIES. 429 ON THE DEATH LIST. THIS AS OPPOSED TO 643 SOUTH VIETNAMESE SOLDIERS. HEY. HEY, WAIT, MAN. HEY, WHAT-- WHAT'S THE MA-- WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHERE'S MY-- WHERE'S MY BOOTS? WHERE'S MY DAMN BOOTS? OVER THERE. [COUGHING] HOW'D THEY GET OFF ME? I TOOK THEM OFF. WHA-- WHAT FOR? WHAT FOR? SO YOU COULD SLEEP. CHRIST. THE SMART THING FOR ME TO DO IS HAUL MY ASS OUT OF HERE. WHAT'S THE MATTER NOW? WELL, YOU WANT ME TO STAY HERE. YOU'RE AFTER SOMETHING. WHAT ARE YOU AFTER? YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE NO FAG. WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? YOU WANT ME TO STAY HERE TONIGHT. THAT'S THE IDEA, AIN'T IT? LOOK, I'M NOT FORCING YOU. I MEAN, LIKE, WHO'S FORCING YOU? OH, I'M SORRY. I TRULY AM. I MUST'VE GOT THE WRONG IMPRESSION THEN. O.K. O.K., BOY. LOOK, I WANT YOU TO STAY, ALL RIGHT? I MEAN, I GODDAMN INVITED YOU, DIDN'T I? I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR. I'M A TRULY DANGEROUS PERSON, I AM. AND SOME-- SOMEONE DOES ME BAD, LIKE YOU, IF I'D CAUGHT UP WITH YOU THAT NIGHT, THERE'D HAVE BEEN ONE DEAD RATSO ALONG BY NOW. YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU HEAR? I'M IMPRESSED. YOU'RE A KILLER. SO IF I'M GOING TO STAY HERE A COUPLE OF DAYS, I JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW, THAT'S ALL. PROPERTY OF THE YMCA. SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE, RATSO. [COUGHING] JOE, UH... DO ME ONE FAVOR, HUH? THIS IS MY PLACE, AM I WRONG? NO, YOU AIN'T WRONG. YOU KNOW, IN MY OWN PLACE, MY NAME AIN'T RATSO. I MEAN, IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT IN MY OWN PLACE, MY NAME IS ENRICO SALVATORE RIZZO. WELL, I CAN'T SAY ALL OF THAT. RICO, THEN. PLEASE CALL ME RICO IN MY OWN GODDAMN PLACE. O.K. RICO, RICO, RICO. RICO, RICO, RICO, RICO. IS THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU? THAT'S FINE. GIVE ME A PILLOW. COME ON. GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE PILLOWS. [COUGHING] KEEP YOUR MEAT HOOKS OFF MY RADIO. RICO, RICO. [COUGHING] ARE YOU HERE AGAIN? DIDN'T I TELL YOU ONCE BEFORE TO KEEP AWAY FROM HERE? EASY. EVERY TIME YOU TAKE STUFF FROM ME. THAT AIN'T NICE, PICKING ON A CRIPPLE BOY. CRIPPLE OR NOT, I DON'T CARE. GOD DAMN IT! [YELLING IN ITALIAN] [SPEAKING ITALIAN] THE TWO BASIC ITEMS NECESSARY TO SUSTAIN LIFE ARE SUNSHINE AND COCONUT MILK. DID YOU KNOW THAT? THAT'S A FACT. IN FLORIDA, YOU GOT A TERRIFIC AMOUNT OF COCONUT TREES THERE. IN FACT, I THINK THEY EVEN GOT THEM IN THE GAS STATIONS OVER THERE. AND LADIES. YOU KNOW THAT IN MIAMI YOU GOT, UH... ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? YOU GOT MORE LADIES IN MIAMI THAN IN ANY RESORT AREA IN THE COUNTRY THERE. I THINK, PER CAPITA, ON A GIVEN DAY, THERE'S PROBABLY 300 OF THEM ON THE BEACH. IN FACT, YOU CAN'T EVEN SCRATCH YOURSELF WITHOUT GETTING A BELLY BUTTON THERE UP THE OLD KAZOO THERE. IT'S HOT. LET'S GO. COME ON! HEY. IT SMELLS WORSE HOT THAN IT DID COLD. STARTING TOMORROW, YOU'LL COOK YOUR OWN GODDAMN DINNER, OR YOU GET ONE OF YOUR RICH PARK AVENUE LADIES TO COOK FOR YOU. I'M EATING IT, SEE? LOOK, I'M EATING THIS SHIT, RATSO. MMM! GOOD! GOOD. I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. MIAMI BEACH. THAT'S WHERE YOU COULD SCORE. ANYBODY CAN SCORE THERE, EVEN YOU. IN NEW YORK, NO RICH LADY WITH ANY CLASS AT ALL BUYS THAT COWBOY CRAP ANYMORE. THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOU ON THE STREET. AIN'T NOBODY LAUGHING AT ME ON THE STREET. BEHIND YOUR BACK, I SEEN THEM LAUGHING. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WOMEN? WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU SCORED? THAT'S A MATTER I ONLY TALK ABOUT AT CONFESSION. WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME NOW. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU BEEN TO CONFESSION? THAT'S BETWEEN ME AND MY CONFESSOR. ANOTHER THING-- YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SMELL. AND FOR A STUD IN NEW YORK, THAT'S A HANDICAP. I AIN'T NEVER SEEN YOU CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR THE WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN HERE. AND THAT'S PRETTY PECULIAR BEHAVIOR. I AIN'T GOT NO NEED TO EXPOSE MYSELF. NO, I BET YOU DON'T. I BET YOU AIN'T NEVER EVEN BEEN LAID. AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME WHAT APPEALS TO WOMEN. I KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT THAT COWBOY CRAP DON'T APPEAL TO NOBODY EXCEPT EVERY JACKIE ON 42nd STREET. THAT'S FAGGOT STUFF. YOU WANT TO CALL IT BY ITS NAME, THAT'S STRICTLY FOR FAGS. JOHN WAYNE, YOU GOING TO TELL ME HE'S A FAG? I LIKE THE WAY I LOOK. IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. IT DOES. AND WOMEN LIKE ME, GOD DAMN IT. HELL, ONLY ONE THING I EVER BEEN GOOD FOR IS LOVING. WOMEN GO CRAZY FOR ME. HELL, CRAZY ANNIE, THEY HAD TO SEND HER AWAY. HOW COME YOU AIN'T SCORED ONCE THE WHOLE TIME YOU BEEN IN NEW YORK? 'CAUSE I NEED MANAGEMENT, GOD DAMN IT! 'CAUSE YOU STOLE $20 OFF OF ME, AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GOING TO STOP CRAPPING AROUND ABOUT FLORIDA AND GET YOUR SKINNY BUTT MOVING AND EARN $20 WORTH OF MANAGEMENT, WHICH YOU OWE ME. [CRASH] HA HA HA! [HUMMING] [SPEAKING ITALIAN] [SPEAKING ITALIAN] A WOMAN IN YOUR CONDITION SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO ALL THIS. QUANTI MESE? OH, SETTE-- SETTE MESE. OH, SETTE MESE. YOU HAVE A LOT OF LAUNDRY HERE. [SPEAKING ITALIAN] OH, SIGNORA, COME STA? [SPEAKING ITALIAN] SI, SIMPATICO. SI, SI. WELL, IT JUST AIN'T RIGHT CHEATING FROM A PREGNANT LADY. WHAT DID IT COST HER? WHAT DID IT COST HER? THE LAUNDRY SYNDICATE LOST A COUPLE COINS. I'M CRYING. SIR, WHERE'S MINE? THE BLACK HOMBURG. I BROUGHT IT IN THE SAME TIME. WELL, I TELL YOU, I DON'T KNOW. YOU GOT TO BRING ME THE TICKET. WHAT ABOUT THAT BLACK HOMBURG RIGHT UP THERE? IS THAT IT RIGHT THERE? WHAT DO YOU WANT, A TICKET? OH, YEAH, HERE'S MY TICKET. YOU WANT TO GET IT. RIGHT OVER THERE. I'LL LOOK THEM OVER. KEEP GOING, UP TO THE TOP. RIGHT IN THE CORNER. NO, IT NO BELONG TO YOURS. IT BELONGS SOMEBODY ELSE. HEY! [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] HEY, YOU'RE PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT THAT. YOU COULD MAKE A LIVING AT IT IF YOU TRIED. AND END UP A HUNCHBACK LIKE MY OLD MAN? IF YOU THINK I'M CRIPPLED, YOU SHOULD'VE CAUGHT HIM AT THE END OF THE DAY. [SPITS] MY OLD MAN SPENT 14 HOURS A DAY DOWN IN THAT SUBWAY. HE'D COME HOME AT NIGHT, $2.00-$3.00 WORTH OF CHANGE STAINED WITH SHOE POLISH. STUPID BASTARD COUGHED HIS LUNGS OUT FROM BREATHING IN THAT WAX ALL DAY. EVEN A FAGGOT UNDERTAKER COULDN'T GET HIS NAILS CLEAN. WE HAD TO BURY HIM WITH GLOVES ON. O.K., GO AHEAD. COME ON. TAKE A LOOK. DON'T RUSH ME, BOY. GOT TO TAKE YOUR TIME HERE. GET MYSELF PRIMED UP, LIKE I WAS TURNING ON THE CHARM FOR SOME PRETTY LITTLE BLOND LADY, YOU KNOW? THEN WHEN I'M FEELING GOOD, I SPIN AROUND. AND THERE YOU ARE, YOU HANDSOME DEVIL, YOU. NOT BAD. NOT BAD... FOR A COWBOY. YOU'RE O.K. YOU'RE O.K. AND YOU WILL BE PUNCTUAL, WON'T YOU? THE LADY WILL MEET YOU IN THE LOBBY. YES, EVERYTHING'S BEEN ARRANGED. TAXI! YES, SIR. YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR SHOULDER THERE. THERE YOU GOT IT. GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. SAY, YOU HAVEN'T GOT A QUARTER, HAVE YOU? JUST A QUARTER? HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT CHEAP BASTARD? LET'S SEE WHAT THE HELL YOU GOT HERE. I THINK WE STRUCK GOLD. THIS IS ONE HIGH-CLASS CHICK. "BARCLAY HOTEL FOR WOMEN." WOMEN. IS THIS THE GENTLEMEN'S ESCORT SERVICE? I'M CALLING FOR, UH, MISS BEECHAM, UH, UH, AT THE BARCLAY HOTEL. RIGHT. WELL, SHE CHANGED HER MIND. SHE WON'T NEED NOBODY TONIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ALL RIGHT. WOULD YOU BELIEVE A WHOLE GODDAMN HOTEL WITH NOTHING BUT LONELY LADIES? SCORE ONCE IN A SETUP LIKE THAT, AND, CHRIST, THE WAY THEY TALK, I COULD OPEN UP AN OFFICE IN THERE. COME ON. GO AHEAD. GET THE MONEY. LISTEN, GET THE CASH! REMEMBER THAT LADY IN THE PENTHOUSE. THOSE RICH LADIES WRITE OUT A CHECK AT NIGHT. AND IN THE MORNING, THEY CALL THE BANK AND STOP PAYMENT. WATCH THE CAR! GO ON. RICO! HEY, RICO! RICO! UP HERE! UP HERE! RICO! A-6. G-49. G-49. I-24. I-24. AND THE NEXT ONE IS... O-62, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! O-62! ARE THERE ANY BINGOS? AND THE NEXT ONE IS C-13! IN THIS PUBLIC PLACE? NOW, WAIT A SECOND, LADY. YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME! [SIREN] [COUGHING] [THUNDER] THE TEMPERATURE RIGHT NOW IS 28 DEGREES, AND THE WEATHERMAN SAYS IT'S GOING DOWN TONIGHT. YEAH, CLOUDY NOW, AND WE CAN EXPECT A FEW SNOW FLURRIES LATER ON. [LIVELY JINGLE PLAYS] " ORANGE JUICE ON ICE " " IS NICE " " ORANGE JUICE ON THE ICE " " ORANGE JUICE ON ICE IS NICE " [COUGHING] " IT'S REFRESHINGLY COOLER NATURALLY " " BREAK AWAY FROM OLD HABITS " " TAKE A WORD OF ADVICE " " SERVE REAL " " FLORIDA ORANGE JUICE " " ORANGE JUICE ON ICE " " BREAK AWAY FROM OLD HABITS " " TAKE A WORD OF ADVICE " " SERVE REAL " " FLORIDA ORANGE JUICE " " ORANGE JUICE ON ICE "" I'LL GIVE YOU $5.00 FOR IT. YEAH. [COUGHING] " I GOT A TELEPHONE CALL FROM JESUS " " I GOT HIM ON THE LINE " " I'M GONNA CALL HIM UP, RING HIM UP " " THEN THE SUN WILL SHINE " [COUGHING] " I GOT A TELEPHONE CALL FROM JESUS " " I GOT HIM ON THE LINE "" [MAN] OHH, A WISE GUY! [COUGHING] HEY, RATSO... [COUGHING] HEY, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. THERE YOU GO, BOY. THERE'S MONEY FOR YOU. THAT'S $9.00 RIGHT THERE... PLUS ASSORTED CHANGE... MINUS 26 CENTS FOR MILK... PLUS 5 CENTS FOR DENTYNE. GUM. OH, THAT'S--THAT'S SMART. LIGHT A CIGARETTE. TAKE THAT AND BUY A CARTON-- DO THE JOB RIGHT. WHERE'D YOU GET IT? I GOT IT. WHERE YOU BEEN, 42nd STREET? THAT'S WHERE YOU BEEN. MOVIES--THAT'S WHERE YOU BEEN, AIN'T IT? I AIN'T BEEN NOWHERE. YEAH, MOVIES. THAT'S WHERE YOU GOT THAT THING ON YOUR BACK. WHAT, THIS? WHAT, THIS? FRIEND I ONCE DID A FAVOR FOR GIVE IT TO ME. WHO'D YOU EVER DO A FAVOR FOR? YOU'D LET SOME POOR BASTARD FREEZE TO DEATH. YOU STOLE THE DAMN THING, DIDN'T YOU? YOU STOLE IT. I STOLED IT FOR YOU. THE GODDAMN THING'S 10 SIZES TOO BIG FOR ME. I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ON MY BACK. I'LL BE GODDAMNED IF I'LL WEAR IT. THERE. OH, BUY YOURSELF SOME MEDICINE BEFORE YOU DIE ON MY DAMN HANDS. [COUGHING] I HATE BONE YARDS. SO SPLIT. HE AIN'T YOUR GODDAMN FATHER. HE WAS EVEN DUMBER THAN YOU. HE COULDN'T EVEN WRITE HIS OWN NAME. "X." THAT'S WHAT IT OUGHT TO SAY ON THAT HEADSTONE. ONE BIG LOUSY "X." JUST LIKE OUR DUMP-- "CONDEMNED BY ORDER OF CITY HALL." MY GRANDMA SALLY BUCK... SHE DIED WITHOUT LETTING ME KNOW. BOY! HITLER STORM TROOPERS! JUST FOR GETTING OUT OF A CAR. YOU BELIEVE THAT? IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU BELIEVE, YOU KNOW? LIKE, SOMETIMES, UH, YOUR SPIRIT GOES UP, SOMETIMES IT GOES, UH... GOES OTHER PLACES. HOW LONG DID I HOLD UP TRAFFIC? I ASK YOU. GIVE SOME PEOPLE A LITTLE POWER, AND RIGHT AWAY THEY SUPERSEDE THEIR AUTHORITY. ALL THIS KIND OF THING IS SPIRITUAL-- SPIRITUAL MATTERS. OH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING PRIEST TALK NOW. I AIN'T TALKING PRIEST TALK. I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE BELIEVE. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE YOU CAN COME BACK IN ANOTHER BODY. WELL, I HOPE I DON'T COME BACK IN YOUR BODY. I AIN'T ASKING YOU TO. I'M JUST SAYING YOU COULD COME BACK AS ANYTHING... AS A DOG OR A PRESIDENT. IF I HAD THAT CHOICE, I'D COME BACK AS A PRESIDENT. I AIN'T THAT DUMB... DON'T YOU THINK? WELL, MAYBE YOU GOT TO THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS FOR A WHILE. I'M USUALLY A VERY CALM AND COLLECTED PERSON. REALLY. FORGIVE ME. I'M AWFULLY SORRY. I THINK I'M GOING TO WRITE A LETTER TO THE MAYOR. I DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF THAT. YOU'RE ENTITLED TO THINK WHAT YOU WANT. MAYBE I DO-- HIM. MAYBE I DO BELIEVE ALL THAT DAMN STUFF. AND I--AND I... ...DO SOME THINKING ABOUT IT, THAT'S ALL. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? HEY, LOOK-A HERE. I'VE BEEN CHOSEN FOR SOME DAMN THING. HEY. IT'S A COME-ON. THIS IS A COME-ON TO A PARTY. IT'S A COUPLE OF WACKOS ADVERTISING. WHERE'S IT SAY TO GO, KLEIN'S BARGAIN BASEMENT? YOU GET A 10-YEAR SUBSCRIPTION TO THE ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. "BROADWAY AND HARMONY LANE. "HANSEL AND GRETEL McALBERTSON. ONE FLIGHT UP." THAT'S PERFECTLY CLEAR, AIN'T IT? GET OUT OF HERE. WHAT DO THOSE WACKOS WANT WITH A COUPLE CHARACTERS LIKE US? IT DON'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT YOU. IT DON'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT YOU. IT DON'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT YOU EITHER. DIDN'T THEY GIVE ME THE THING? WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO GET LOST SO YOU CAN GO TO YOUR FANCY-ASS PARTY? I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT THAT. DID I SAY THAT? DID I? I'LL JUST TELL 'EM, "YOU WANT ME, I DON'T GO NOWHERE WITHOUT MY BUDDY HERE." I AIN'T DRESSED FOR A PARTY. [COUGHING] HERE WE GO. RIGHT HERE. [DOG BARKS] HEY, DOG. [COUGHING] [MUSIC PLAYS] OHH... HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU O.K.? HELL, DAMN, YOU'RE SWEATING ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE. COME HERE. YOU GOT A COMB ON YA? I DON'T NEED A COMB. HERE. A FEW DOZEN COOTIES AIN'T GONNA KILL ME, I DON'T GUESS. O.K.? YEAH. I LOOK O.K.? YEAH. O.K., COME ON. COME ON. HEY, THEY'RE TAKIN' MY PICTURE. " SEE THEM STARE " " EVERYWHERE... " [BEEP] UH, NOW JUST ONE MORE CLOSE-UP OF HER. I LOVE EVERYTHING IN THE THEATER. I WOULD LIKE TO DIE ON THE STAGE. AND MY HAIR IS FUR, YOU KNOW. ITS TENDRILS REACHING OUT INTO SPACE SOMETIMES. I'VE WATCHED IT TOUCH MANY STARS. WACKOS. THEY'RE ALL WACKOS. I THINK WE BETTER FIND SOMEBODY AND TELL THEM I'M HERE. HEY! UH...WELL, I MADE IT. THIS IS MY FRIEND RATSO RIZZO. RICO. RICO RIZZO. [WOMAN] HELLO. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, THERE'S BEER AND STUFF BEHIND ME. ANYTHING YOU WANT. OH, JESUS. YOU WANT THE WORD ON THAT PAIR, HANSEL'S A FAG, AND GRETEL'S GOT THE HOTS FOR HERSELF. SO WHO CARES? LOAD UP ON THE SALAMI. [WOMAN] IT'S LIKE WHAT? LIKE HEROIN. DEATH'S LIKE HEROIN. IT'S NOTHING. YOU'VE TRIED HEROIN? YEAH, I'VE TRIED HEROIN. IT'S LIKE NOTHING. IT'S LIKE DEATH. IT'S JUST NOTHING. WHY ARE YOU HERE? I DON'T KNOW. WHO BROUGHT YOU? I DON'T KNOW. [MUSIC CONTINUES] THANK YOU, MA'AM. " IT DOESN'T MATTER " " WHAT PEOPLE THINK " " LIVE JUST FOR TODAY " " OUT OF THE SUN " " AND FIND A PLACE... " HEY, WH--HEY, SONNY, WHATCHA DOIN' THERE? SHE GIVE IT TO ME, BOY. GIVE ME THAT GODDAMN THING. " SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN " " OPEN WINDOW " " SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN " " OPEN WINDOW " " WINDOW IN HIS EYE " " AS THEY STARE " " EVERYWHERE... " HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT, UP OR A DOWN? UP OR DOWN? HERE, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE AN UPPER? [LAUGHTER] " SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN " " OPEN WINDOW " " SOMEWHERE THERE'S AN " " OPEN WINDOW... "" WHY ARE YOU STEALING FOOD? I WAS JUST, UH, NOTICING THAT YOU'RE OUT OF SALAMI. SOMEONE SHOULD GO TO THE DELICATESSEN AND BRING SOME BACK. WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S FREE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO STEAL IT. IF IT'S FREE, THEN I AIN'T STEALING. WHAT'S THE MATTER? HOW'D YOU GET CRIPPLED? SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL. I GOT TO SIT DOWN. I FEEL CRUMMY. TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME. RUN UP AND USE MY SHOWER. TAKE A WALK. JUST TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME. TAKE A WALK. TAKE A SHAVE. I WAS JUST-- GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME! WELL, YOU LOOK HOT! GUESS WHO I AM. WHO? HA HA. IT'S ME! HA. HOW YOU DOING? GETTING YOUR PICTURE TOOK, HUH? [MOBILE TINKLES] HI. TSSS. TSSS. TSSS. SSS... OHH... HEY. OHH... HA HA... OH, NO, OH, NO, OH, NO... HEY. LET'S, UH... LEAVE NOW. YOUR PLACE... OR MINE? [MUSIC BLARES] SHE'S HOOKED. LIKE, WHY, COWBOY? 10 BUCKS? I'LL ASK FOR 20. WHY, COWBOY WHORE? DID YOU KNOW WE WERE GOING TO MAKE IT? SO, UH, YOU REALLY WANT TO DO BUSINESS? WHO'S HE? DON'T TELL ME YOU TWO ARE A COUPLE. HA HA HA! HEY... WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING, JOE? ARE YOU REALLY A COWBOY? TO TELL THE TRUTH, I AIN'T A FOR-REAL COWBOY, BUT I AM ONE HELL OF A STUD. A VERY EXPENSIVE STUD. I HAPPEN TO BE HIS MANAGER. INCIDENTALLY, HOW MUCH IS THIS GOING TO COST ME? 20 BUCKS. O.K. AND TAXI FARE FOR ME. OH, GET LOST, WILL YA? I AGREE, BUT FOR THAT SERVICE, I CHARGE 1 BUCK TAXI FARE. O.K.? YEAH, O.K., O.K., O.K. OH, BOY. HERE. GO AHEAD. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME. I WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME. MY NAME'S JOE. JOE! OH, FABULOUS. JOE COULD BE ANYONE. I LIKE THAT. MOVE OVER, JOE. COME HERE, JOE. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. WHY DON'T YOU KISS ME, JOE? [COUGHING] OH, MY... WOW. TOO MUCH. HE FELL. HEY, FELLA, YOU FELL. IS HE ALL RIGHT? YEAH, HE'S FINE. WELL, IF YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, WHY YOU HANGIN' ON THE BANISTER? CAN'T YOU WALK OR NOT? NATURALLY I CAN WALK. YEAH. HE'S GOT TAXI FARE. HA HA. COME ON. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT? YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, Y-YEAH. [ENGINE STARTS] HEY, RATSO! WHOOPATEE-AY-YO, BOY! WHOO-HOOAH! " OUTSIDE MY... " " OUTSIDE MY... " " OUTSIDE MY WINDOW "" WELL, IT HAPPENS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT AIN'T NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR ON THAT. WHERE'S THE MATCHES, MA'AM? OVER THERE BEHIND THAT THING. MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T CALL ME MA'AM, THINGS MIGHT WORK OUT BETTER. THAT'S THE FIRST GODDAMN TIME THE THING EVER QUIT ON ME. THAT'S A FACT. YOU THINK I'M LYIN' TO YA? NO. NO, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE LYING. I JUST HAD THIS FUNNY IMAGE. I HAD THIS IMAGE OF A, UH... POLICEMAN WITHOUT HIS STICK... AND A, UH... BUGLER WITHOUT HIS HORN, ET CETERA, ET CETERA, ET CETERA. OH... WELL, I THINK I'M MAKING IT WORSE. MAYBE WE OUGHT TO TAKE A LITTLE NAP... AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. I AIN'T SLEEPY. OH. I KNOW-- SCRIBBAGE. SHIT. WELL, LOOK AT THIS HERE. SEE? THERE'S AN "E" IN MONEY... I MEAN, IF THAT'S YOUR WORD. M-O-N-Y. THAT'S EXACTLY HOW YOU SPELL IT ON THAT BIG BUILDING UP THERE. M-O-N-Y. MONEY. "Y." WHAT IN THE HELL STARTS WITH "Y"? WELL, IT CAN END IN "Y." LIKE, UH... "SAY," "PAY"... "LAY." "HEY," "PAY," "LAY." O.K., CUT IT OUT, NOW. YOU'RE CHEATING-- TEASING ME SO I CAN'T THINK. GAY ENDS IN "Y." HMM? YOU LIKE THAT? CUT THAT OUT. GAY...FEY. IS THAT YOUR PROBLEM, BABY? I'M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT'S A PROBLEM. OH, OW... I'M NOT. I'M NOT EXAGGERATING. LISTEN, MARJORIE, YOU SHOULD TRY IT. IT MIGHT BE TERRIFIC FOR YOU. OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. WELL, WHAT NIGHT IS PHIL'S POKER NIGHT? WELL, THINK. YEAH. ALL RIGHT. UH, JOE... ARE YOU AVAILABLE THURSDAY NIGHT? WHAT TIME? YEAH, AROUND 8:30? UH, WELL, LET ME THINK, NOW. THURSDAY, 8:30. UH... I GUESS I CAN BE AVAILABLE. HELL, YES. HELLO? MARJORIE, IT'S ALL SET FOR THURSDAY NIGHT AT 8:30. YES. NO, NO. I CAN'T TALK NOW. CALL ME AT THE OFFICE LATER. YEAH. O.K. BYE-BYE. MA'AM? I SURE HATE TO TROUBLE YOU, BUT-- SURE. 20, WASN'T IT? UH, YES'M. BYE. [COUGHING] HEY, BOY, LOOK RIGHT IN THERE. WHAT DO YOU SEE? LOOK IN THERE, BOY! SOME OF THAT STUFF'S FOR YOU, TOO. LOOK, TRY THAT ON FOR SIZE. I GOT SOME OF THAT STUFF YOU LIKE TO SWILL, TOO. ASPIRIN, MENTHOLATUM. ALL THAT CRAP. WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER, THEY WRONG? THEY O.K., ONLY WHY'D YOU BUY THEM? WHILE YOU WERE GETTING THE ASPIRIN, I COULD'VE LIFTED THIS. IS THAT HOT? YEAH, YOU WANT SOME SOUP? YEAH. I'LL GET YOU SOME SOUP THEN. WE AIN'T GOING TO HAVE TO STEAL NO MORE. I GOT 8 BUCKS, 20 MORE COME THURSDAY. WE'LL BE RIDING EASY SOON. GIMME SOME SOUP. GIMME SOME SOUP. WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M GETTING HERE? LOOK AT THAT THERE. THAT'S GOOD HEALTHY STUFF FOR YOU. LOOK IT THERE. SOUP! THANKS. IT'S HOT. WATCH OUT. HOW WAS SHE? SHE WENT CRAZY, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE DAMN TRUTH OF IT. YEAH? TURNED INTO A DAMN ALLEY CAT. THANKS FOR THE STUFF. DON'T MENTION IT. IT'S GOOD. HEY, LISTEN, DON'T GET SORE OR ANYTHING, O.K.? I AIN'T SORE. I DON'T THINK I CAN WALK ANYMORE. I BEEN FALLING DOWN A LOT. I'M SCARED. WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO YOU WHEN THEY KNOW YOU CAN'T-- WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT YOU CAN'T W-W-WALK. OH, CHRIST! I GOT TO LAY DOWN. O.K., O.K. I GOT TO LAY DOWN. YOU GOING TO LAY DOWN NOW. TAKE IT EASY. I'M GOING TO LAY YOU DOWN. I'M GOING TO LAY YOU DOWN. PUT THIS THING OVER YOU. NOW, YOU STAY HERE. WHERE YOU GOING? I GOT TO GET A DOCTOR. YOU AIN'T GETTING ME NO DOCTOR. YOU'RE SICK, BOY. YOU NEED A DAMN DOCTOR. NO DOCTORS. NO COPS. DON'T BE SO STUPID. WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT ME TO DO? FLORIDA. GET ME TO FLORIDA. I CAN'T GO TO FLORIDA NOW. PUT ME ON A BUS. I DON'T NEED YOU. YOU GOT THE DAMN FEVER. GET ME ON A BUS. YOU AIN'T SENDING ME TO BELLEVUE. WHY'RE YOU DOING THAT? IT'S HOT. YOU'RE SICK. KEEP IT ON YOU. NO. TOO HOT NOW. DUMB. BOY, YOU'RE REALLY DUMB. I DON'T NEED YOU. YOU'RE DUMB. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! DUMB COWBOY, BOY. JUST WHEN THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT FOR ME, YOU GOT TO PULL A STUNT LIKE THIS. [FOOTSTEPS] HI, SHIRLEY, HOW YOU DOING, GIRL? THIS IS WHO? UH, WHEN WILL MRS. GARDNER BE HOME? THIS IS A FRIEND OF HERS. THIS IS A GODDAMN GOOD FRIEND OF HERS. OH, HELL. I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG. [GUNSHOTS] TOO BAD. WE ALL HAVE OUR OFF DAYS. [IMITATING GUNFIRE] I'M TOWNSEND P. LOCKE FROM CHICAGO. CALL ME TOWNY. I'M HERE ON A PAPER MANUFACTURERS CONVENTION AND, FRANKLY, TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN, DAMN IT. THIS IS MY FIRST NIGHT IN TOWN. I'D CONSIDER IT A PRIVILEGE IF YOU'D HAVE DINNER WITH ME, ANYWHERE YOU SAY. FRENCH, ITALIAN? DON'T WORRY ABOUT HOW YOU'RE DRESSED. THEY KNOW ME. BESIDES, I'LL TELL THEM YOU'RE WITH THE RODEO. THERE'S ALWAYS A RODEO IN TOWN, DAMN IT. BESIDES, YOU LOOK VERY ELEGANT. BUT DAMN IT ALL, WE CAN'T DO THAT. I'M EXPECTING A TELEPHONE CALL BACK AT THE HOTEL. MAMA? A COINCIDENCE. GUESS WHO WAS BEING DISCUSSED? HAVE YOU GOT THAT THING TURNED UP? WELL, WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING IT? OH, REALLY, MAMA, THIS IS JUST IMPOSSIBLE. I MEAN, WHY GO TO ALL THE EXPENSE? WHY GO TO ALL THE EXPENSE, MAMA, THE EXPENSE? DID I TELL YOU I GOT ME A SICK KID ON MY HANDS? I GOT TO GET HIM SOUTH QUICK AS I CAN. I GOT A SICK BOY. AND I'M GONNA GET HIM SOUTH. UNDERSTAND ME, TOWNY? I'M GONNA GET HIM SOUTH. WHAT YOU WANT? WHAT YOU GOT ME UP HERE FOR? WELL, JOE, IT'S... IT'S SO DIFFICULT. I... YOU'RE A NICE PERSON, JOE. I SHOULD NEVER HAVE ASKED YOU UP HERE. YOU'RE... YOU'RE A LOVELY PERSON REALLY. OH, GOD, I LOATHE LIFE. I LOATHE IT. PLEASE GO. PLEASE. YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE? NO. I MEAN, YES, YES. PLEASE GO. COME BACK TOMORROW? PROMISE? I'M GOING TO FLORIDA TOMORROW. THIS IS TERRIBLE. YOU MEET SOMEONE. YOU THINK YOU... I WANT TO GIVE YOU A PRESENT. FOR YOUR TRIP. PLEASE TAKE IT. I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A CATHOLIC. SAINT CHRISTOPHER'S THE PATRON SAINT OF ALL TRAVELERS. TAKE IT FOR HELPING ME BE GOOD. I GOT TO HAVE MONEY. YES, OF COURSE. I... WAIT HERE. I SAID WAIT. HERE. DON'T EVEN THANK ME. I GOT TO HAVE MORE THAN 10. I GOT TO HAVE $57. I SIMPLY DON'T HAVE IT. I GOT FAMILY, GOD DAMN IT. YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, JOE. THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE. GET OUT OF MY WAY, PLEASE, SIR. AAH! NO, NO, NO, NO. LET GO OF THAT TABLE, PLEASE, SIR. NO. NO. DON'T, DON'T, DON'T. OH, I DESERVED THAT. I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSELF. MY NOSE IS BLEEDING. YOU GOING TO LET GO OF THAT TABLE, OR YOU WANT A BUSTED SKULL? NO, JOE. JOE, JOE... OH, JOE... THANK YOU, THANK YOU. OPERATOR. NUMBER, PLEASE? NUMBER, PLEASE? NO, NO, NO, I WASN'T CALLING ANYONE. HELLO? I WASN'T CALLING ANYONE. I WASN'T CALLING ANYONE. NO, I WASN'T CALLING ANYONE. OH, JOE. JOE. 31 HOURS. 11:30 IN THE MORNING WE GET THERE. NOT THIS MORNING, BUT THE NEXT AT 11:30. THESE GUYS ARE GOOD DRIVERS, BOY. THEY GOT TO BE. YOU DIDN'T KILL HIM, DID YOU? YOU GOT BLOOD ON YOUR JACKET. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. [HORNS HONK] IF YOU'RE GONNA SHIVER, PUT YOUR BLANKETS UP MORE. I BEEN THINKING. I HOPE WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF TROUBLE ABOUT MY NAME DOWN THERE. WHAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS TRIP ANYWAY? KEEP YOUR BLANKETS ON YOU. I MEAN, CAN YOU SEE THIS GUY RUNNING AROUND THE BEACH ALL SUNTANNED? AND HE'S GOING IN SWIMMING, LIKE, AND SOMEBODY YELLS, "HEY, RATSO!" WHAT'S THAT SOUND LIKE TO YOU? SOUNDS LIKE I KNEW YOU. SOUNDS LIKE CRAP. ADMIT IT. I'M RICO ALL THE TIME, O.K.? WE'RE GOING TO TELL ALL THESE NEW PEOPLE MY NAME'S RICO. O.K.? O.K. HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? I'M WET. YOU'RE--YOU'RE WHAT? I WET MY PANTS. THE SEAT'S ALL WET. WELL, HELL, AIN'T NO USE CRYING OVER THE DAMN THING. HERE I AM GOING TO FLORIDA, MY LEG HURTS, MY BUTT HURTS, MY CHEST HURTS, MY FACE HURTS. LIKE THAT AIN'T ENOUGH, I GOT TO PEE ALL OVER MYSELF. THAT'S FUNNY? I'M FALLING APART HERE. YOU JUST-- KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? YOU JUST TOOK A LITTLE REST STOP THAT WASN'T ON THE SCHEDULE. LET ME PUT YOU UP HERE. HEY, WHAT SIZE PANTS YOU WEAR? " EVERYBODY'S TALKIN' AT ME " " I DON'T HEAR A WORD THEY'RE SAYIN' " " ONLY THE ECHOES OF MY MIND " " PEOPLE STOPPIN', STARIN' " " I CAN'T SEE THEIR FACES " " ONLY THE SHADOWS OF THEIR EYES... " THANK YOU, MA'AM. WHERE YOU FROM? NEW YORK. EVER BEEN HERE BEFORE? NO, MA'AM, I AIN'T. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME IN FLORIDA. THANK YOU. " BANKIN' OFF OF THE NORTHEAST WINDS " " SAILIN' ON A SUMMER BREEZE... " HEY... HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M ZIPPING YOUR FLY. WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK I'M DOING? " I'M GOIN' WHERE THE SUN KEEPS SHININ' " " THROUGH THE POURIN' RAIN " " GOIN' WHERE THE WEATHER SUITS MY CLOTHES "" THANKS, JOE. THESE SHIRTS ARE COMFORTABLE, AIN'T THEY? YOURS WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT WITH A PALM TREE ON IT. CLOTHES ARE DAMN CHEAP HERE, TOO. YOU KNOW THAT? [COUGHING] EVERYTHING WE GOT ONLY SET US BACK 10 SOME. HEY, YOU KNOW, RATSO-- RICO, I MEAN-- I GOT THIS DAMN THING ALL FIGURED OUT. WHEN WE GET TO MIAMI, WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IS GET SOME SORT OF JOB, 'CAUSE, HELL, I AIN'T NO KIND OF HUSTLER. THERE MUST BE AN EASIER WAY OF MAKING A LIVING THAN THAT. SOME SORT OF OUTDOORS WORK? WHAT DO YOU THINK? YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. O.K., RICO? RICO? RICO? HEY, RICO? RICO? [HORNS HONK] IT'S O.K., FOLKS. EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. IS HE KIN TO YOU? WANT TO CLOSE HIS EYES? WHAT? JUST REACH OVER AND CLOSE HIS EYES. WE'LL JUST DRIVE ON IN, ALL RIGHT? NOTHING ELSE WE CAN DO. IT'S O.K., FOLKS. JUST A LITTLE ILLNESS. WE'LL BE IN MIAMI IN A FEW MINUTES. IT'S O.K., FOLKS. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. JUST A LITTLE ILLNESS. WE'LL BE IN MIAMI IN JUST A FEW MINUTES. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY MGM/UA HOME VIDEO, INC. CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.